Okay. Here's the next chapter. This is out of a birthday request from Vivi the Vixen. I'm sorry that I honestly forgot where I was in the plot-line. And I've that been avoiding Self-Insert fics. ^^" Honestly, this isn't my best work and I'm getting sick of it. All I see is a Mary Sue fic. And I won't/can't delete this because too many people actually like this.

Winry: Bri does not own FMA. If she did, the fans would've left by now. btw, since someone pointed out the chapters kept getting shorter, I made this extra long.

"OH WOOOW~!" Winry squeed. "It's beautiful~!"

Now normally when you hear this, it's because of jewelry or some clothes or some other girly object.

But this is Winry we're talking about.

So she was fangirling over an automail arm that was slightly shinier than Ed's.

We were in Rush Valley. The mountains were bare. The streets were bustling. Everything was shiny and smelled like oil. Half the population had automail limbs while the under half had wrenches somewhere on their person.

...I feel left out. ._.

"Incredible! 51 straight wins!"

"No way you can beat this guy!"

There was a huge dude with two automail arms smirking like he was a BAMF.

I betcha 10 bucks that guy only got automail to look cool.

Before Winry or I could even blink, some random dude was up there. About .5 seconds later, his automail was in pieces and there were 10 mechanics trying to kidnap him.

Then everyone was begging Al to go up. Then the gambler suggested that Edward give it a try.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" the gambler said as he put a hand to his head. "A shorty like you couldn't possibly win!"

Edward marched up and slammed his hands on the table.

...Those guys are screwed.


"Techs get ready!"

"200 on the kid!" I announced.

"You're on!"


CRUNCH. The big guy's automail was falling into pieces in Ed's hand.

Many jaws met the floor that day.

And the big guy got pounced by the techies as they dragged him away.

I got behind Ed and said "Look what you did, cheater~. An innocent wallet, lost to those Winrys~."

"Like you have room to talk," he replied as I pocketed a ton of money.

Everyone started staring at Ed's automail. Demanding that he take off his clothes to get a better look. Time for me to step in.

"Guys! Guys! You can't just strip him!"

"Thank you!" Edward said as he tried to retrieve his coat.

"You have to pay to strip him!"


An hour later...

The Fullmetal Alchemist shirtless. If only I had a camera.


"Yes, Ed?"

"It's gone." He dug through his pockets. "My state alchemist ID... The silver watch... It's gone."

Edward threw his shirt back on and ran to the nearest person he could find.

"My watch!" he shouted. "Do you know who could've stolen my watch?"

The two mechanics looked at each other, then at Edward. "I think you're being played, buddy."

"Must be the handy work of Paninya. She's a thief that targets tourists."


"You heard them."

"Do you know where I can find them? Please, that item is very important!"

"Hmm... No harm in telling you...but let us look at your automail!"

Great. More machine-otaku.

Before Ed could even pull the 'Turn arm into blade' card, I pulled out my bet money and held it out.

"Collector's shop called Glatz!"

I tossed the money at them. "Come on, guys."

One hour later...


"Ed~! Be nice to the door! Anyways, Paninya, give him the watch."

"Uh... No." Then Paninya picked up a vase, with her leg, and threw- no, kicked it at us. Does Fullmetal Alchemist have soccer? Anyways, GET HER!

She jumped out the window, I jumped out the window, everyone but old man #17 jumped out the window.

We were running throughout the town. Through the alleys, onto rooftops, through a house, past a kitty-

Holy s_. A kitty. Hold everything.

Wait right here while I go pet teh kitty.

I walked up to the girl with shoulder-length brown hair who had a (freakin' adorable) Calico cat on her head. She gave me a subtle 'WTF?' look from behind her glasses.

"Can I pet your kitty?"


Pet pet pet pet. "Soooo cuuuuute~!"


It's Al. Crap.

"We're supposed to be chasing that girl!"

"But Alphonse! The kitty! D:"

Al looked at the kitty. Then me. Then the kitty.

He picked me up by the collar of my shirt, pet the kitty, then ran back into the chase.

We caught up with Ed and Paninya at a dead end. Of course, she jumps over, Ed jumps over, and everyone but Al jumps over.

I landed and looked around. Then was nothing but grass, a little house, and a pissed off dog... Wait. I suddenly missed Alexander.


Ed and I were on the ground being used as chew toys. Why the hell the dog didn't bite the automail limbs and break his teeth, we'll never know. Maybe it's smart... Nah.

"Be a good boy and let them go..." Al said.



And the dog ran away. Haha, bitch. Pun fully intended.

"Big brother? Are you okay?"

Edward was trembling as he got up. Then he exploded "I'M GONNA KILL THIS BITCH!"

"But she's just a girl..."


I crossed my arms. "Whoa. 'The hell happened to chivalry?"


Back to square one of finding our little thief.

Yet another hour later...

Ed saw her on the rooftop in front of ours. "Don't open that damn watch!"

"Got some dark secret, huh?"

"None of your damn business. Now give it back."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Nyeh."

Edward alchemized some giant hands out of the roof that nearly got her.

"Just who are you?"

"State alchemist."

"First time toying with a state alchemist!"

I alchemized some stairs to chase her and managed to tackle her down.

"Stay! Down!"

Then she kicked me. With her automail feet. Owwwwww.

Ok, she's going down.

More property damage later...

We were on another rooftop. Ed and I were dead-tired and Paninya wasn't breaking a sweat.

"Hey! You out of steam?"

"Watch this!"




Paninya stared at the ground. "Um...nothing happened."

"Trust me, something did happened."

Right on cue, the ground deconstructed and she fell into a shop. Edward constructed a cage and threw it down.

"I'm the shop-owner!"

Facepalm. "Your aim sucks."


"Sounds like Al caught her."

We came out and saw her in a cage. But she was still smiling.

"You might want to step back."

SLICE. SLICE. She cut the bars. With a blade. In her automail leg. Are you kidding me?

She just shrugged. "Nothing surprising in this city." She held up her other leg. "Aaand my left knee shoots missiles." ZOOM...BOOM!

I repeat: Are you kidding me?

"Catch me if you can~!" Paninya ran about 10 feet before Winry grabbed her wrist.

"Oh no, I'm not letting you go... until you let me take a closer look at this automail~!"


Honestly, these automail-otaku...

There's your chapter~.