A/N: Holy…shit…guys. Seriously, looking back I never thought this story was that good. I thought I took a good plot idea and butchered it with my horrible writing and yet here I am now, writing yet another chapter. Why? Because even though I haven't updated in a really long time, people get reviewing. Almost 300. I took the time to read all of them and I started crying. I love you all
Thank you for not losing faith in me. I'm going to begin editing all my past chapters, so be on the look out for the improved versions of those as well.
I've been meaning to write me, so if you ever have a plot bunny and no time send me a message on tumblr. My username is SouperLove. Thank you all again, and well, here we go!
Warning this contains the word fuck. If you just flinched when you read it here then why are you continuing on?
Disclaimer: They way you guys complimented me made me think for a while I did own BTR, but I don't.
Big Time Gay One
This was a bad idea. No scratch that, this was a horrible idea, but it wasn't. This was a horribly wonderful idea. I train wreck waiting to happen, only that train was filled with prepackaged food and the place it crashed was filled with starving children who didn't get hurt in results of the crash.
"Kendall, are you doing that thing were you make ridiculously extended metaphors in your head when you're nervous?" Logan asked, taking a seat on Kendall's bed by him. Kendall had been in there all day. Carlos had taken James out to the mall so Kendall could set up his special surprise.
Everyone had found a way to help, even Gustavo. Thanks to Katie superior organizing skills, things were going to be perfect.
However, Kendall hadn't moved from that spot since James left that morning.
"No. I mean yes. Oh it doesn't matter. I can't do this." Kendall buried his face in his hands.
"Can't do what? Tell James that you love him?"
Kendall said something, but his voice was muffled by his hands.
"Stop moping and speak clearly now." Logan said.
"I said, I don't love him."
It wasn't odd for James to spend a lovely after noon with friends at the mall. It was one of James' favorite past times. It was odd for all of a sudden Carlos, of all people, decided that he wanted to go to the mall with him, and no one else. Not even Logan, his boyfriend. For Carlos to be away from Logan for any extended period of time was suspious. The two were inseparable before, even more so after they started dating. They hadn't had any fight that James had known about.
"Hey Carlos, it's been so long since we last hung out. This is pretty fun, huh?" Translation: Something is off about this situation, and I'm going to find out what.
"Yeah, I've spent so much time with Logan that I was afraid that my best friend was going to feel left out." Carlos responded. Translation: I know you know that something's up, but you're not getting any hints from me.
"Don't worry, I understand. Speaking of which, how are things with Logan?" James asked, feigning innocence.
"Oh, perfect. Couldn't be better." He responded.
"Then why isn't he here? I mean, unless you guys had a fight or something." James knew that they didn't. There was no way. If there was Carlos would have mentioned something about it after the first question. This was a plot. A plot that involved him being somewhere else and distracted. He knew this because he had been the master mind behind many similar plots before. The only way to get back to the Palmwoods and figure out why he wasn't suppose to be there was to distract the person who was suppose to distract him. And nothing was more distracting to Carlos than Logan.
"No, we didn't have a fight. I just wanted some bro time. Not some bro and boyfriend time." Carlos said.
"You two had sex didn't you?" James said.
"What?" Carlos' eyes widened. His cheeks darkened slightly. Dusting a light pink that didn't stand out too well against his dark skin.
"You did. You both had sex and now it's too awkward to look at each other. You know, running away isn't the answer. We should go back home so you and Logan can stare at each other until the post sex awkwardness has worn off, then you guys can go back to making out on every semi flat surface in the room." James said.
"James! We didn't have sex!" Carlos said, a little too loud, attracting the attention of a few too many people in the mall of Carlos' liking. James just smirked.
"So, who was on top?"
Carlos hit James on the arm, but James was laughing too hard to care. This was going great. The more weird he was, the less Carlos would want to be seen in public with him.
But when you've known someone as long as Carlos and James have known each other, you know all their tricks. Carlos had taken up this mission and there was no way he was going to fail. Besides, he didn't want to have to tell Katie that he failed. That girl could be scary.
"Fine, you caught me. I was on top by the way. I just can't surpress the dominate nature of mine in the bedroom. I mean, you remember that time we kissed. It was obvious who was the girl in that moment." It was now Carlos' turn to smirk.
James glared. "There is no 'girl' in a gay relationship. The whole point of gay is no girl. And shut up, 1 I know you didn't really have sex, I was teasing, and 2 I so could've dominated you if I wanted you. I'm a dominating kisser extraordinaire!"
"Really, you seemed like the bottom boy type when we kissed." James jumped.
"Aaron?" James asked.
"Hey Diamond. Who's your friend?" Aaron asked, slinging an arm around James' shoulders.
"Taken." Carlos said, slightly flustered. Aaron was cute, not as cute as Logan of course, but he wouldn't be surprised if this guy was a model or something.
James laughed. "This is Carlos, and he has a boyfriend."
"Yeah, and he's adorable and smart and funny and…will be buying a motorcycle. Once I convince him too." The last part came out as more of a mumble.
Aaron laughed. "He sounds great. Speaking of great guys, how's you know what going with you know who?" Aaron asked James.
"That's a great question. I only wish I knew what the hell is going on. Sometimes I think that the powers that be like to screw with my head. Oh and you don't have to be all discreat. Carlos knows. He was the first one that knows." James said.
"Wait, this guy knows you like Kendall?" Carlos asked. "I thought this was a big secret hush hush thing, why does he know?"
"I figured it out on my own. I'm like, and unofficial relationship guru or something. I know true love when I see it. I know James and Kendall are head over heels, they just need to stop tip toeing around each other and make out already." Aaron said.
"Hey!" James exclaimed. "We don't know how Kendall feels. He's never actually said that he loves me. Right Carlos?" James looked at Carlos, who was looking around anywhere but at James.
"Right Carlos?" James repeated, pulling away from Aaron.
"Well, you see, I can't really…" Carlos trailed off. Man, he was a terrible lier.
"Oh my god." James whispered.
"James-" Carlos began.
"Oh my god! He, he loves me. I mean, did he actually, has he, did he say it? L-like actually say it?" James, ran a hand through his hair, it falling perfectly back into place like some James hair magic.
"Kind of, sort of, maybe. I think he might have mentioned it once or twice to me. And…um…a lot to Logan." Carlos admitted sheepishly.
"But Kendall isn't gay." James said.
"No he isn't."
"Then, then you're wrong. He can't love me. I'm a guy and I'm gay. And, well Kendall's a guy and he's not gay. A gay guy can not date a non gay guy." James said.
"Not true. There are bisexuals." Carlos said.
"So Kendall is bisexual?" James asked.
"So what's going on then?" James asked.
"Kendall isn't gay, or bi, but he loves you… a lot. That's really all there is to it." Carlos tried to explain.
"What Carlos is trying to say is that Kendall doesn't love girls and he doesn't love guys. Kendall loves you James. You and know one else in the world regardless of their gender or who society tells him he's suppose to love. It's just you for him. Does that about sum it up?" Aaron asked.
"Yeah, that pretty much covers it."
"I…I think I need to sit down." James said.
Aaron and Carlos helped James over to a sitting area.
"Well, my break is almost over. Do you have this covered Carlos?" Aaron asked.
"Yeah I should. He'll be fine, I hope." Carlos said.
"Don't worry about me. I just need to think, sort things through. I have to find where to go from here. I'll call you later, okay?" James said.
"Yeah, I'd like that. Talk to you guys later.
The both said there good byes and James took a deep calming breath.
"Okay, the only question now is, why did you really bring me here?"
"I still don't understand." Logan said.
"Come on Logan, you're suppose to be the smart one. What aren't you getting?" Kendall said.
"Let me just start from the top. You know, run through things one more time so I can get what's going through your head. Okay?"
"Sounds like a great plan." Kendall said.
"You don't love James, right?" Logan said.
"Alright so you don't love James, but you're IN love with him."
"But what's the difference?" Logan asked.
"What's the difference?" Kendall repeated. "There's a huge difference. The difference is so monumental that I don't even know where to begin. It's insane. You're insane for not getting it."
"Then explain it to me."
"Anyone can love things. I love pizza, hockey, that pinkish purplish way the sky looks at night. I love cheesy black and white movies, and singing a long with 90's music and my mom and my little sister. Hell, I love you and Carlos to, but."
"But." Logan said, urging him to continue.
"But I'm not in love with those things. I don't look ahead and picture my wedding and see pizza or black and white movies waiting for me at the alter. I don't want to start a family with 90's music." Kendall said.
"But you can see yourself doing all of that with James?" Logan said.
"And more! He's not just a part of my life. He is my life. All of it. It's hard to picture a moment of my future with him not there. I'm so in love with him it hurts, and that's why I'm afraid to tell him. He may like me now, but what about 5 years from now, or 20. Will he still love me then, because I'll never stop loving him. That's why I can't risk losing him." Kendall said.
"So that's it then. You're just going to give up? You'd rather spend the rest of your life assuming that James, the one who's always been with you no matter what, will leave you and so you never get to call him yours? You'd rather see him run off with some other guy that very well may hurt him then have him in your arms where you know he's safe?"
"You don't understand, Logan." Kendall said.
"I don't? Oh, I'm sorry. I may not have known that being 'in love' was a spacific term for it, but I know that feeling. Don't think that every day I wake up and see Carlos I'm not plague by that thought that he's going to realize that there are a million and one people out there better than me that he probably deserves."
"Logan don't say that about yourself."
"No, you know why? Because it's true. There are so many people out there better than me, but I don't give a flying fuck, because they're not getting him. Like you said Kendall, Carlos is my life. And I love him more than anything else. I don't know how long I'll get to have him and call him mine, but I don't care because I get him now. And if years from now we've both moved on to other people I can always look back and say that I poured my heart in soul into someone I care about. I'm not going to spend my life wondering why."
"What?" He snapped.
"You're right." Kendall said.
"I usually am." Logan said, trying to calm himself down.
There was a knock on the door. "Kendall, Carlos called. It's show time." Kelly said.
"Are you ready for this now?" Logan asked.
"Nope, but hell you only live once so let's do this."
"Carlos can I take this blind fold off?" James asked.
"But it's messing up my hair." James whined.
"Do you hear that." They both listened to the quite sound of nothing. "That is the sound of all the fucks I give about your hair."
"I hate you. Just…die." James said.
"Aw, that's not nice. Calm down, we're almost there. Ready?"
"Yes, I'm ready. What's this even about anyway?" Carlos took of the blind fold right as a band played a chord. "Huh?"
"Hey everybody! We're The Academy Is, and this is Kendall Knight." The lead singer spoke into the microphone.
"Oh my god. Carlos, Carlos do you know who that is?" James felt his chest tighten.
"That's William Becket. William Becket and Kendall Knight, the two most perfect people in the entire history of the planet on stage together and why is Kendall wearing a shiney silver suit?" James said, coming down from fan boy mode.
"Hey everyone. Sorry about the glare. They wanted me to wear a full suit of armor and this was our compromise." The crowd, which consisted of everyone at the Palmwoods, and a few dozen people that Kendall didn't recognize chuckled quietly.
"I wrote a song and Gustavo invited this lovely band here to help me perform it. It's kind of a big deal, because you see. I wrote this song for someone who's," Kendall felt his words tighten up in his throat, he looked at Logan who gave him a supportive thumbs up. "Who's very special to me, and," then he caught sight of James.
James was standing in the back by the door that exits out into the pool from the main lobby. Kendall open his mouth but no words came out. James was standing their starry eyed looking at him. Not William Becket. Him, Kendall Knight. He didn't know why he should be so lucky, but he was going to do this. The right way.
He took a big breath for confidence. "I…I can't do this." He turned back to the band. "I'm sorry guys. I'll sing with you, but there's something I've go to do first."
"Go to him." William said.
Kendall hopped off the stage and began making his way through a very confused crowd.
"What are you doing Kendall?" Logan hissed.
"Something I should have done a very long time ago." Kendall waked up to James. "Hey."
"Hey." James replied.
"Would you like to take a walk? Just you and me?" Kendall asked.
"He'd love to." Carlos shoved James into Kendall causing them both to stumble a little.
Kendall grabbed James' hand and the two walked out a gate and started on their way.
Logan caught up just as the two were leaving.
"Kendall never really did enjoy the spotlight, did he." Logan said. He had to raise his voice a little because the band had started playing to keep the crowd from getting restless.
"Yeah, I suppose this was all just a little bit much for him." Carlos agreed.
"Hey Carlos." Logan said, suddenly very interested in his shoes.
"Carlos, I'm in love with you." Logan looked up to meet Carlos' eyes.
Carlos' face broke out into a grin. "I'm in love with you too." He scooped Logan up into his arms and the two kissed, the loud music and voices of the people all drowning out.
"So, what was that all about? Stage fright?" James asked as the two walked down a quiet path in the park.
"Not quite. I just wanted to say something, but I couldn't find the words so I decided I was going to sing them, but then that didn't feel right either." Kendall said.
"So what are you going to do now?" James asked.
Kendall grabbed James other hand and looked at him. In all the years he had known James, he had never looked so beautiful then he did right now. "Show and tell." Kendall whispered. He leaned in hesitantly at first and pressed his lips against James'.
"Kiss him back you idiot!" James' brain screamed at him after he stood there frozen for a moment, so that was what he did. He didn't know how long they stood there, lips slowly moving against one another's in an innocent love filled kiss, but time didn't matter to either of them at the moment. This was where the slow rock love ballad would begin to play and they would stand there kissing until the screen faded to black and the credits, that lets face it, no one really read anyway, would begin to roll. But this, this was real life.
Kendall pulled back breathing heavily. "James Diamond, would you do me the honor of being your boyfriend?" Kendall asked.
"I would be the luckiest man alive to get that chance." James said. The two kissed again, holding each other tightly.
"We should get going. I believe you have a song to sing for me." James said with a smile.
"Anything you want." Kendall wrapped his arm around James' hip and they started back for home.
A/N: So? There will probably be two more chapters after this. And while I'm not going to put sex in this story if wanted I'll make two companion one shots with smut. I'm really sorry it took so long. I'm hoping it was too your liking. Remember to hit me up on tumblr. I love you all!