Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Chapter 19: Return of the Man!
It was morning of misty mystery when Garfield awoke in a place like none in time. All was covered by dusky haze and Garfield's eyes strained with masculine might to decipher surroundings. All around him was light of pearly dimness and feelings of unease coursed through manly muscles like uncertain streams though rocky earth of power.
"What is this place?" Garfield asked as he righted himself. He seemed to be floating in ether! Around him rocks floated in nothingness and cracks of prism ran through like wounds of neon. Garfield floated in void like baby floating in a bottle.
"Garfield you are where you belong." Said a voice with echo. The voiced echoed from void surroundings and penetrated Garfield's mind like hot fork through cold lasagna.
"What madness is this? Return me to physical plane. I have war of vengeance to wreak on the Reapers and Odie!" Garfield bombasted with focused fury.
"No, Garfield, you must stay here in my pearly gates and pleasure me for all times." The echo voice took on tones of womanly femininity. A mystery woman appeared glimmering with glitter. She floated in front of Garfield wearing sexy see through robe.
"I am Mistress Time. You have fell into black hole through time and space. Your manly body of muscles could not be destroyed by the black holes and you have fell into the core of space and time. I have been here waiting since beginning of time for one with the manliness to survive crushing power of black holes." Said the mystery woman with willow whispering.
"I must return. My fists drink the blood of fiends and they are parched." Garfield said with knowing truth.
"No, Garfield, this is the center of timespace. There is no escaping. But look it is prison of pleasure." Said Mistress Time with seductive sultriness. Mistress time waved her hands and in instances lasagna appeared. The hot steaming lasagna floated in the abyss peaking the interest of Garfield.
"Very well my black hole beauty. I will eat your lasagna and your womanly treats. Then I will leave." Garfield said with smirk and a wink.
"But Garfield it is impossible! You may have entered the center of space time but there is no escaping." Mistress Time said with protest.
"We will see my cosmic cutie. First my lasagna." Garfield bellowed with majestic voice. At Garfield's command floating lasagna leaped to Garfield like Zebra leaping into Tigers mouth. Garfield's mighty jaws came down on lasagna like axe cleaving the head of condemned prisoner. Mistress Time watched Garfield eat his lasagna and could not remove her eyes from the sight of majesty. As the molten red hot food smeared his chiseled face and splattered on manly muscles her heart burned with desire. The sight reminded her of powerful predator dining on flesh of decaying dead gazelle, and it turned her lady engine on.
"Garfield, you eat lasagna like black hole devouring star. With sensual power and universal glory." Mistress Time said with admiration and awe.
"That's right dimple bumps, my mouth is a vortex of pleasure and there is no escape. Now it's your turn." Garfield said pointing to Mistress Time with command.
"Oh Garfield you know what to say to make a galaxy girl feel like a universal woman." Mistress Time swooned with swooning as she floated to Garfield for love making of cosmic quality. Garfield embraced mistress time, clutching her see through gown and tearing it off with manly motion, exposing her supple body in all its glorious nakedness. He took a remote from his back pocket and clicked on a stereo which started playing Into the Fire by Dokken. Garfield then licked her firm breasts like portly child licking fresh ice cream cones, with delicate power and ferocious sensuality. Mistress Time moaned like a sow in heat, orgasmic ecstasy pouring from her voice. Garfield then moved his tongue down her body like moist crawling slug in supple soil, leaving trail of sexy wetness. By the time Garfield's powerful tongue reached her lady pearls the song had reached the cool keyboard interlude. He stroked her woman treasure with his silky tongue to the smooth vocals of Don Dokken and the power chords of George Lynch, sending her into the fire. As Garfield's tongue played on Mistress Time's gems she wailed like out of tune guitar being played by an angry bugle boy.
"Enough whetting the appetites pussy cat. I am going to feed your lady hole and satisfy your womanly hunger." Garfield said with soft seduction as he removed his blue jeans and boxer briefs unsealing his man torpedo.
"Garfield I have spent eternity starving for man meat. Please fill my body like starving orphan seal." Mistress Time said as she gripped Garfield muscular body, readying herself for delivery of pleasure package. Garfield snapped and at his snapping a bed covered in roses surrounded by four blue torches appeared from nothingness. Garfield lay mistress time on it and then straddled her with romance. He wrapped his thighs around her like crawling vines, crushing her body with pleasure. Garfield then parted Mistress Time's thighs revealing her secrets. He then inserted the orange love comet into her, thrusting with manly yet gentle force, penetrating her atmosphere. His technique was top notch and got all 10s. The four blue torches began to turn bright red for red is color of passion. Mistress Time continued to scream with pleasure, and the force of their loving began to rock the surrounding cosmos. As Garfield delivered effortless pleasure with top of the line force and style, the surrounding space-time continuum began to break. The barriers of the black hole prison began to shatter as their love makings increased in intensity. Finally, with Mistress Time's climaxing scream the walls of Spacetime shattered leaving a doorway into infinity. Garfield saw his job was done and unstraddled himself off of Mistress Time. Mistress Time, barely regaining her breath looked up to see what was done.
"Garfield you did it, you broke space time." Mistress Time said with awe.
"It was nothing, pudding lips. Spacetime is like egg. If you want the juicy yolk you must crack the shell." Garfield said with the wisdom of a thousand physicists.
"Garfield you are lover, fighter, and scholar. You are jack of all masters." Mistress Time said with impressment.
"I am master with this jack." Garfield with a wink as he pointed to his love lance.
"Oh Garfield. Perhaps you should stay and show me more of your jack mastery." Mistress Time said as she lay on space bed of roses.
"Sorry my metaphysical minx but I have missions of importance. As long as Odie lives and Reapers breathe my boots can never rest and my fists can never be quenched." Garfield said with stern righteousness. Garfield then began to walk to portal but Mistress Time shouted to him to stop.
"Garfield be careful! The time space continuum is unstable! Laws of reality are being broken! There is no telling where the portal will be leading!" Mistress Time warned with caution.
"Don't worry your concerns, baby sauce. I have a check of pain to deposit in a bank of fools." Garfield said with chill calmness as he walked into portal.
"What a man." Thought Mistress Time to herself, already longing for meal of man she may never have again.
Upon entering portal Garfield was surrounded by shifting vortex of spiraling madness. A bright kaleidoscope of chaos swirled around Garfield and space time itself churned around Garfield like butter gone mad. Garfield saw many times and no times, he saw many places but no places. He saw egg of energy crack and erupt giving birth to universes upon universes. He saw cosmic gas create stars and stars creating solar systems. Garfield saw journey of life as one cell grasshoppers have birth to dinosaurs and dinosaurs gave birth to men.
At last after seeing the creation of cosmos unravel before his manly eyes Garfield woke in strange room. It was silent white with strange decorations of oddness. Garfield walked amidst silent room looking for any who might be, but all was none. Garfield's mighty feet echoed on floor like thunder trapped in aluminum foil. Strange paintings and marble decorations stood in silent white room. Through doorway Garfield saw hunched over orange figure eating lasagna. Garfield wondered who was the hunched figure, but then he was the hunched figure!
"Why am I the hunched figure?" Garfield thought to himself as he wondered why he was the hunched figure. Garfield then saw plate of lasagna in front of him and did what was best, and ate the lasagna as makers of universe intended. Afterwards Garfield got up to leave when he saw orange figure in bed laying down.
"Who is that figure laying down?" Thought Garfield wonderingly, but then he was the orange figure lying in the bed!
"This is tomfoolishness. I have no time for laying down in beds. My muscles hunger for wrath and my fists thirst for fury." Garfield said as he lay down in bed. Room around him was filled with white strangeness and floor was tiled with patterns of mystery. Ahead of Garfield materialized object of mysterious enigma. It was a floating black rectangle! The floating black rectangle spoke nothing but beckoned for Garfield. It shone lightless nothing and taunted Garfield with silent mockery. Within object Garfield saw birth of the cosmic and it inched closer with threatening. Garfield thought of all the happenings. His mind wandered to universal meanings and cosmic importance. He thought of symbolism and philosophy. But strange black rectangle continued to approach like off the rail mine cart, slowly and with purpose. Then Garfield knew that he knew all knowing. He scoffed a mighty scoff and stood up on bed, tearing off smoking jacket to reveal manly body of muscular manhood. The rectangle gasped in terror and sweat beat down its face.
"I am no patience for rectangles." Garfield said with eyes of angry hawks woken up from early morning nap.
"Garfield I am not rectangle. I am a monolith" The rectangle said with pompous vanity.
"Rectangle, monolith, you are still square to me." Garfield said with cool knowingness. Garfield then charged his fist with the power of an exploding god and careened it into the talking rectangle shattering it into interstellar nothingness. The rectangle screamed like a thousand babies losing their diapers as it shattered into pieces. Having solved the mystery of the universe Garfield then punched the air creating another spacetime portal.
"If I see any more rectangles I will send them to geometric hell." Garfield said as he walked into portal to unknown destinations.
Meanwhile in Odie's reaper fortress at center of galaxy, Odie was preparing assault of diabolic wickedness on unsuspecting citadel. Odie was in his sorcery chamber where forbidden crafts of ancient technoMAGIC were practiced. In center of chamber was sky blue figure, locked in eternal torment. It was the blue beauty of sexy naked Asari, but in place of legs and lower body was twisted base of black biotechnics which attached to floor. In her outstretched hands she held out crystalline orb which shimmered in the dread light. Her eyes screamed with crying pain as she held crystal glimmering sphere. Her mouth was sewn shut with thread of murdered bunny rabbits. Odie approached Asari-pedestal making imprisoned blue babe quiver with trembling. Odie laughed haughty laugh at the fear and waved metal claw over orb of crystalline mystery. Within crystal orb spiraling clouds swirled revealing shadows of distant space. Figures emerged from fog and nothingness became somethingness. Swirling space clouds materialized into Citadel. Odie waved his hand again and image zoomed in to inside council meeting room where council was busy having debates filled with discussion. He heard them squeal and cry and tremble.
"Garfield is gone! We are doomed to hopelessness! We must surrender!" Squealed Salarian councilman like pig gone to slaughter.
"No you damned frog fool. Garfield would never fail. We must resist." Asari councilwoman insisted with stolidity.
"What if Garfield is not real man and galactic hero we thought?" Cried Salarian councilman like leaping loser.
Asari councilwoman walked over and slapped Salarian councilman in his amphibian face. "Silence! Your words choke with stupidity. Your fly brain could not hold candles to Garfield's virile integrity." The Asari councilwoman said with valorous truth.
"Stop it you two! We must keep our heads." The Turian councilman said with mediating. The three councilmen continued to squabble with no results. They were lost like blind babies in labyrinth of woe and Odie looked on with dark delight. His faced erupted into sinister smile of stained steel.
Having seen enough, Odie waved his claw again, making tiny the figures disappear from crystal orb. In their place appeared people trapped in cells. It was Normany crew trapped in bowels of Odie's space prison! There was Garrus on rusty mattress, playing a six string, and Dr. Mordin Solus playing chess with dust bunnies. Miranda and Jack were in cell chained by ankles to the floor, kneeling in sorrow and abandonment. Odie looked at sexy beautiful ladies, bechained in shackles, and spoke to them through his crystal ball, his voice a thousand screeching dolphins set on flame and soaring through their mind oceans.
"Hello my darling peaches. I hope you are enjoying your quarters." Odie bellowed with the voice of a baritone hell hound.
"Who is there?!" Cried Miranda in fear.
"Show yourself!" Shouted Jack in defiance.
"It is I your humble host and new lord master. Please be enjoying the accommodations, I cannot stand to see such beautiful women not be comfortable." Odie barked with snidely vile.
"Here is to your accommodations!" Miranda said as he spat on floor with contempting saliva.
"Hohoho you are sassy she-minxes. I like that. But women like you love power and I have all. Think of these words as I leave you to rot on muck." Odie said with cosmic emptiness.
"You are the fool swine in mud of ignorance! Garfield will come and rip your dog face off with his man hard grip!" Jack declared with defiance.
"Stupid woman! Garfield is dead and I am king. The galaxy is now mine. Garfield is swimming in the salty seas of Hell while I ravage galaxy with reaper wrath. But enough discussion, enjoy your containment!" Odie then waved hand making his enchained ladies vanish from view. In their place swirling clouds of uncertainty appeared again, before materializing into reaper menace Harbinger!
"It is time my loyal servant. Begin invasion on Citadel. Make assault with deadly force!" Odie ordered with imperialism.
"Yes my master." Harbinger said with metallic voice. Harbinger then soared off, armadas of reapers following him to citadel conflict. Odie waved his claw again shutting crystal ball off. Odie stroked its Asari holder's head with sickening caress making her whimper with fear. He then squeezed her head crest making her yelp with crying. Streams of blue-blood came down her sewed mouth and he laughed with evil scoffing for life was his disease and pain was his cure. Odie the pressed button on his metallic robo-arm. A door opened into chamber and mysterious Asari entered with squad of deformed Asari banshee horrors.
"You have called oh master?" Said mysterious yet familiar Asari with voice of huskiness.
"Yes Morinth, it is time. As you are knowing, I have brought you back from Hell and gave you flesh once again. Now it is time for you to be repaying your bargain." Odie said with explanation.
"Yes my liege, anything you are requesting." Morinth said with obedience.
Odie gave sideways look and then issued orders. "You are to take Banshee attack squad and go to Citadel for assault. Destroy all you see and let hate flow through your veins of blueness." Odie commanded with edicts.
"Yes my master. I will make citadel bleed blood of a thousand generations." Morinth said with sinister promises. She then walked out to pursue her purpose in Odie's cosmic scheme.
Satisfied with his plots Odie then went to left wall. Odie pushed button on wall causing it to open and unfold revealing chamber of sexy hot ladies imprisoned and enchained behind see through plastic. They were ladies captured from worlds all over galaxy, captured from invasions by his collector servants. Ladies of all species were there. Beautiful Human and Asari ladies as well as hot sexy Volus and Elcor babes were trapped in the plastic prison. Odie looked at captured ladies and grinned with grimace.
"Hello my captive cuties. It is I Odie. I have come to ask of you a question of importance. And you must answer with truthful integrity." Odie said with ear crawling evil.
"Yes Lord Master." Said all the ladies in unison.
"Very good. Now answer my question." Odie then spread his arms out and removed black cape of billowing and black armor of deepest space, revealing naked scarred torso deformed with machinery and malice. "Am I not beautiful? Am I not most glorious? Am I not object of erotic desire? Am I not woman's dream and man's envy?" Odie bellowed with mad crazy voice and bulging eyes.
"Lord Odie, you are most beautiful and glorious man in galaxy. You are object of desire and dream of all womanly dreams." Answered captured ladies in unison voices, dead and plastic.
"LIARS!" Roared Odie with insanity rage. Odie then pressed another button on wall. At button pressing flexible appendages of black metallic menace came from walls with thrashing and thrusting. On tips of tentacled terrors were spikes and claws. The evil arms gripped hot sexy ladies lunging deep into their fleshes. The ladies screamed in terrifying agony as they were drained of life blood and inner bodily organs. Odie howled with maniac laughing as he saw the torment of the innocence.
The tentacles had duel purposes and gave as well as took. But what they gave was horrors. The metal arms injected fair maidens with metallic machinery, dead of livingness. The sexy babes were filled with evil machinery replacing their womanly fleshy insides. They became skin sacks filled with wretched metal and bursting with unending pain. At end of evil processing they became husks filled with reaper machinery.
"Now you are beautiful like me." Said Odie with peaceful madness as he looked and admired at dark deeds. Then he walked off into dark hallways of space fortress to carry out plots of sinister darkness.
To be continued…