by anonymous author (not me).
"So, it's a brothel?"
"No, it's not a brothel. It's a club."
"Where people meet up randomly for sex with unknown partners?"
"Yes. No money changes hands."
"So, still a brothel."
"No, it's not a brothel. You have to be a member. You have to pay a yearly fee. You have to submit for health checks regularly and you have to shut the fuck up about it. You remember the first rule of Fight Club? Same here."
"Yearly fee? So, money changes hands?"
"Bella, you pay to be a member. Nobody there gets paid. It's an adult environment for adults seeking relief from the stress of the real world. That's why its called Alternate Universe. And as I can't tell anyone about it unless I am sure they will join, now I have to kill you."
I huffed and lay across my bed.
Maybe this type of fuckery suited Rose, but no way was I joining a club to have sex with randoms. Wasn't that what bars were for?
"Why not just hook up on a dance floor or a bar?"
"Because they are not safe. Every member of The Club has a background check, by the freaking FBI probably. And you need to be personally known to a member of over one years membership, who vouches for you. If you are accepted, then they will be watching me as well as you. If you do anything wrong, I get kicked out too. So don't join if it's not want you want to do."
"You have been going for a year?"
"But you don't get to know who you are fucking?"
"Well, you soon learn to recognize parts of them, if you know what I mean."
"Rose! My God! I cannot believe you are the same shy little Rosalie Hale I went to High School with who never had a single date."
"Yeah. Well, waiting until college, meeting the 'right' boy, doing everything the right way, look where that got me."
She paled as she remembered her disastrous engagement to Royce. The perfect A grade student, leader of all the clubs including the abstinence club. He met and dated Rose until she gave him her virginity and wanted to get engaged and he then arranged a little get together with some of his buddies to have them 'break her in properly and teach her what men really wanted ' for him.
She was so lucky not to be gang raped or even killed.. She was just fortunate there were two boys, brothers, from college who knew Royce and didn't trust him. They had appeared to want to join in and the big one had beaten the others half to death when it became obvious what was going to happen.
Apparently they were all for random sex but never rape and Royce has probably never had sex again.
The other brother took Royce for a drive and when he was found, wandering along the highway far out of town, he was not a pretty sight. Nobody says much at all about Royce these days. I think he joined a priesthood.
Rose spent a week in hospital in shock and afterwards, she was determined any sex she had from that point on would be on her terms only
I knew she went to a club and I knew she was having sex but I had no idea this was her solution.
Out third flatmate, Alice, had gone the more conventional route and visited a male prostitute each week. Or as she called him, 'her boy'. We had never met him and probably never would but he kept her happy and she managed to appear virginal at college and I am sure nobody even suspected.
They all thought she had an out of town boyfriend.
Not out of town and not boyfriend.
I hate the entire thought of having 'a relationship'. They are for suckers who live in an imaginary world were two people meet and fall in love and live happily ever after. never seen that happen, myself.
My parents were madly in love for the entire time they were in high school and college. The perfect couple.
They were married straight out of college, had me and were divorced by the time I was two. Happy ever after? Doesn't happen.
And to make it worse, my mom has been married five times now and every fiance has been "The One" and every husband has turned out to be "The Wrong Man".
My dad is even worse. he never got over her. He has never looked at another woman. See, he is smart. He knows theres no happy ending.
Our extended family get togethers are a crazy fuck up as we have Moms exes and soon to be's and my aunts three ex husbands and my uncles four wives and various cousins whom I forget came from which marriage. half sisters, step brothers, they have them all.
If I could just be a nun, I would be but my darn ladies parts call for regular attention and small plastic devices get old. I need a real life man so I go to bars and sensibly select the best looking one and bring him home, never go to his place. Too many images of Royce and his buddies.
Rose gets all uptight and insists I get their address and phone number and car rego number and text it to her so she has the relevant details if anything happens to me.
Alice thinks I am being way too risky and insane and has even begged me to hook up with 'her boy' which is a major concession.
But I don't need a prostitute.
I dress myself for once seeing its the boys night and Alice has gone, and Rose is off at The Club, shudder, and I have the apartment to myself.
Mike Newton suggested we come to 'an arrangement" and become friends with benefits but I kind of doubt a guy who cant call a fuckbuddy by its real name is really just looking for sex. I know he fancies me and I do not fancy him and what do you do when fuckbuddies turn bad?
The bar is rocking and the music is loud and there are plenty of people on the dance floor, practically having sex in front of everyone else. I hate that, can't they 'get a room' as the saying goes.
Oh no, creep at nine o'clock.
"So, baby girl, I like that dress on you but it would look better on my bedroom floor."
I push past him and head for the bar and try to attract the bar tenders attention.
"May I buy you a drink?' says obviously married man on barstool to my right. He is all neat and tidy and desperate and I think of the wife sitting at home waiting for this creep.
"Nice wedding ring" I comment and he puts his hand in his pocket and eases it off.
"Oh, um, I am divorced."
"Yeah, so you still wear the wedding ring."
He opens his wallet to pay the bar tender and a photo of him with wife and three kids stares at me.
I grab his wallet.
"Oh how cute. Three little kiddies waiting at home with Mommy while Daddy fucks around on them."
He has the decency to blush and he grabs his wallet back.
"Three girls. I bet you can't wait for them to grow up and get married and get cheated on."
He gives up and walks out.
I look around and some drunken idiots are laughing and eyeing me off and making crude remarks and suddenly, Rose's club is starting to appeal.
I give up and head for the door.
"So, baby girl, want a fuck?"
I so want to answer "Sure but not with you" but it would be asking for trouble.
I head home and dig out my latest model in female relief appliances.
I hear tears at bedtime when Alice comes home.
"Whats happened, Ali?"
"My boy is getting married" she wails.
Shit. What a fucker of a day.
"Are you going to try another ,um, boy? He must have friends." I ask.
"Nope. I am joining Rose's club thing and so should you. Maybe we can try it and see if we hate it? Do they do the 'first three lessons free' thing?"
"I don't think so, sweetie."
I grab a bottle and two glasses and we spend the night commiserating with each other over our pathetic love lives.
"How do we join? Can Rose take two new members?"
"I don't think she had a brochure" I slur.
Starting to feel good all over now.
I pass out on the couch with Ali beside me and we don't wake until late the next morning.
Rose is up, all smiles and bright eyed and bushy tailed.
"We surrender" says Ali.
"You want to join?"
"Yep. Both of us."
"Great. We can get the ball rolling today."
"Ball rolling, I want lots of ball rolling" chirps Alice.
God, this girl. Drinks all night and stays cold stone sober then wakes up blathered.
"Come on, Ali, time you went to bed" I say and help her to her bedroom and tuck her in.
My head aches like a bitch and I cook breakfast for Rose and I.
"So, Rose, if you meet like, your ideal man, can you meet up outside The Club?"
She blushes a little and looks away before she answers.
"I suppose so. The rules are simply you join, you attend as often as you like, you don't shout your mouth off unless you are sure whoever you are telling will join. And you get the paperwork and medical done then they text you the location."
"Like a rage?"
"Yep. They have to stay one step ahead of the law. Its a legal club but they don't want any trouble."
"So, how does it work?"
"The girls choose a category based on what they want to do and sit in a room behind the old two way mirror holding a number. If a guy chooses you, you get told a room number and he meets you there. Every second night is Ladies choice and the boys get to sit with the numbers."
God, how humiliating if nobody chooses you.
I am not sure now I like this.
"Bella, they limit the number of each gender to keep things even so everyone gets someone and as one person goes, another replaces her in the room. So if anyone notices its taken a long time for you to get chosen, its because she has, too."
Hmm. Maybe I will give it a go.
"No kinky stuff, right? Just straight sex?"
"If that is what you choose."
"So, how kinky?"
"Threesomes, voyeurs, tantric, guy on guy, girl on girl, but you choose. Nobody ever does anything you didn't sign up for. There are plenty of security guards and any troublemakers are out and banned. The Alternate Universe doesn't give second chances."
"So, if I go and I hate it?"
"Don't go back, silly. Its not compulsory to attend for goodness sake."
"Will I get a refund?"
"No, you won't get a refund. I don't think anyone has ever asked for a refund."
"Do you...are you allowed to ask for the same guy regularly?"
"On Ladies nights."
"Can he refuse?"
"That would be pretty mean of him. It's not a marriage or dating service, its a hook up joint."
"So no happy ever afters?"
"No, Bella. Just your scene. Nobody goes with the hope of meeting Mr Right. Just Mr Right Now."
I like the sound of that.
"What if some guy I don't like keeps asking for me?"
"Then only go on Ladies Nights. That way you are choosing, not him."
Hmm. Better and better.
And if I only go on Ladies Nights, I will not be the wall flower, sitting there unchosen. I will be in control.
"Okay, fine. Sign me up, Scotty".
"Do you think Ali wants to join too, seriously?" asks Rose.
"Sure. Her boy got married, or is getting married."
"How weird. Prostitutes get married?"
"Oh why the hell not? Should their job choice exclude them from their chance of happiness, seriously?"
"Hey, at least you would know he would be good in the sack,and don't think I didn't notice, Bella, you just said marriage was a chance at happiness!"
"I concede maybe there's a chance, just a chance with very long odds."
So, we fill in forms and have our background check done, causing my boss to raise a beady eye at me as he fills in the required information.
"What's this for, again, Bella?"
"Um, a club. Its really exclusive."
"Hm, must be. What's it called?"
"i don't know. I think its some political thing. Rose wants me to join."
"Oh right. I love politics, see if she can get me in."
Yeah, be right onto that.
That would be the very last place on earth I would want to come face to face with my boss.
A/N Please review if you want more because I take down those not being read by many people (otherwise known as nobody at all). I like ten readers per story. Cheers.