The rebirth of Eric Cartman

Pokemon belongs to: the game company Nintendo and created by Satoshi Tajiri

Cartman & co belong to: Trey Parker and Matt Stone

The day Eric Cartman died, the weather for once was sunny. At the age of 14, the boy still had the puppy fat from childhood, but he was still foolish. Stan's uncle Jimbo, had killed a Ursaring the pokemon of the South Paws breeding farm, after being punished to work at the farm and being given 4 eggs one for his nephew and friends.

When Cartman heard about this, he was angered. That the fact that Kyle would get a Pokémon before him. So the fat human boy was standing outside the farm, he was there to get an egg one way or another.

While he was walking to the door, he noticed a female ninetails, sleeping in the sun. Since childhood, he, like other child, had been told to never ever pull a tail of a ninetails. So with a smile to himself, he went to fox pokemon and pulled one of her nine tails. The fire fox jumped up and bit him, drawing blood.

The fat boy gasped and gripped him arm, he went to the door hoping for help and maybe the egg. Mrs Snowpaw the farm's owner, answered the door, she was tall woman with snow-white hair and icy blue eyes. She looked at him, "yes my dear?" she said "where's my egg bitch?" Cartman snapped at her "I'm sorry boy, we don't give out eggs to bullies who attack pokemon for no reason", the woman replied. "What your stupid ninetails attacked me firs..." Cartman started to say, "For pulling on her tail and her name is Crystalline, one of oldest ninetails. Now leave before I call the police". With that the woman slammed the door.

Cartman stomped away, planning on going home to moan to his mum. Before stopping, the breeding fields were in the back of the house, he could still get his egg. So he walked around the house.

The back field was filled with breeding pokemon, in their own pens. While walking he noticed that almost all had no eggs in with the parents. Until he saw one; there was a pair of Rhyhorn, and with them was a new-laid egg.

The boy smiled before walking to the frame. He also noticed a sign:


Do not enter the pen, if there's an egg. As the parents will kill to protect it.

But Cartman ignored the sign and jumped over the fence. After hearing the fat teen landing, the male Ryhorn bellowed a warning before charging at Cartman, the boy in question tried to move out of the way, but the horn caught him sending Cartman flying, the boy died the minute he hit the ground. Main while after seeing off this threat to his family, the Ryhorn went back to his mate.

In the Distortion World:

Eric Cartman opened his eyes, and looked around; he was standing in a strange place. The ground was floating, and he was naked. "Finally, you are awake" a male sounding voice said. The boy jumped around, his eyes darting. When a strange looking man appeared before him; the man had long yellow hair, red eyes, black dragon like wings and a long tail.

Cartman took a step back, "Who/what are you... a demon?" "No you stupid boy, I'm Giratina, the legend of death. But enough about me, you my little grasshopper is the problem. You, my dear friend, died before it was your time. It was because you pulled the tail of a 200 year old ninetails".

"How is me dying a problem, just let me pass one". "No Cartman, you see because of Arceus, no one can pass on until his or hers time, so here we have a choice. Let you be reborn as a human or a pokemon, let's check out your past life, shall we".

After a few hours of looking at the past 14 years of Eric Cartman life: the legendary smiled, before turning to the teen, "it appears that you were quite the little hell maker then, but however because of this, you can only be reborn as a pokemon". Giratina pulled out a strange wheel, before looking at Cartman, "those are the pokemon you can be reborn as" he handed the wheel to Cartman, the pokemon choices were; Starly, Pichu, Cyndaquil, Buizel, Aipom, Gible, Riolu, Sneasel, Ralts, Eevee and Swablu. "So do I choose?" "Nope, Mew does the job. This is just to show you, what you may become. Oh and you're going to lose some of your human memories. But before you protest, you'll get them back as you grow older and stronger, and if your see this girl, (a strange looking girl appeared; she had absol's horn, feet and tail. As well as long white hair). Her name is Eya, she is my servant, if you see go to her, as she will restore your memories". "What happened to her?" "she was the first one I had made to be reborn. But during the changing, a problem happened. So she became struck as a half human and half pokemon creature; she can change from human to pokemon".

The legendary disappeared before returning, carrying a strange drink. The ghost/dragon pokemon, shook the drink, before handing the drink to Cartman. "What will this do? And who will be my trainer?" "this starts your new life. And as for your trainer, you will see that Jews are not bad people". With that Cartman drunk the drink before fainting.

'I'm awake, but why can't I move? Unless I'm in a egg." He could hear a voice talking to him, from outside, "come on little one, please hatch soon," Kyle was watching the egg, hoping for a hatching soon. The fourteen year old boy was taller and many of the girls in school, hot looking.

"I had better get to bed, tomorrow is a big day for the both of this". He changed into his nightwear, and laid down, "good night egg".

The egg, began to hatch. Cartman was being reborn, new and refreshed to the world.

Will he learn from his human mistakes, who know, only time and an Absol pokemorph will tell.

And that's the first chapter of The rebirth of Eric Cartman. If there's any mistakes I'm sorry, I have a few spelling problems.

And you guys/girls are choosing the pokemon Cartman becomes. The choices are as follows:

Starly – Staravia – Staraptor

Pichu – Pikachu – Raichu

Buizel – Floatzel

Cyndaquil – Quilava – Typhlosion

Aipom – Ambipom

Gible – Gabite – Garchomp

Riolu – Lucario

Ralts – Kirlia – Galtade

Sneasel – Weavile

Eevee – any one of the 7 Eeveelution

Swablu – Altaria

It's a week from today to choose the pokemon form of Cartman.