Hurt. Pain. Sadness.
That's all I felt as I stared at my now ex-boyfriend, Paul Walker. Why would he do this to me? I mean I know I'm not perfect... but I can be if he wants me to, he knows I would do anything for him. I mean, I gave up my friends for him, my life...and this is what I get in return? I can't let him just walk away like that, he's like the air I breathe, I need him.
Why is he acting like this? He's been so moody lately, maybe it's because he's running a fever and he just feels sick. Yeah that's it, it's just the fever...
But I knew in the back of my mind, that it wasn't true. It wasn't the fever, it was just him.
"I have better things to do than to spend my time with you. I told you from the start that I was only going to break your heart," said Paul as he leaned casually against the tree as if he didn't care.
As a matter of fact, I knew he didn't care...he never did. I was just another fling to him just like all of the other girls. But I thought it would be different this time, but evidently it wasn't. I should have listened to the others, and maybe I wouldn't have to be in this situation with a heart that's beyond repair.
Please don't do this, I love you. I tried to say that to him, but no words would come out of my mouth. I just stood there frozen, heart broken. Not knowing what to do next I blurted out that first thing that came to my mind,
"Why Paul? Why would you do this... I thought I meant more to you than this?"
He scoffed, " you should know by now that I don't stick to one girl. Even if I did what makes you think it would be you. I mean look at you I could do so much. I don't know WHAT I was thinking when I asked you out. Hm...." he pretended to ponder for a second tapping his chin.
"Maybe it's because you were so willing to do my homework for me. I just couldn't give up a chance like that. A dork doing my homework for me for free, and all I had to do was pretend to like her sounds good to me," he said cruelly as he smirked that smirk that I love.
He let out a loud cruel laugh, that strangely sounded like a bark. Then he turned and started to walk away disappearing behind all the trees, still laughing to himself and leaving me behind to pick up the pieces of my broken heart.
My mind whirled with the emotional pain that I knew would never go away. I collapsed to the ground in a heap, finally letting the tears fall. I was never the one to cry, but this time I couldn't control it.
Just to make my day worse, it started to rain. Water dripped down from the trees and onto me, soaking me from head to toe. It felt like the clouds were crying with me, and for once I was actually happy it rained. It felt like it wiped away some of my pain, but not all of it.
I felt my eyes drift off, not having the energy to drag myself home, I curled up in a ball and drifted off to sleep. Wishing that when I wake up the next morning, I would be in my bed and what happened was all a dream. But in my mind and heart, I knew it wasn't.