Francis knew that he only had a few more seconds left to live when he heard that door slam shut with enough force to knock all of the paintings off of the wall. Particularly when the noise managed to startle the already near-tears Canada into bawling, causing his brother to start crying as well…
So England walked in on a scene that looked like France was trying to tug Kumajiro out of a screaming Canada's arms (he was trying to give the bear back in hope that it would calm the colony down; it wasn't working), while gripping America's arm tightly with the other hand, holding him away from his brother so he couldn't make a grab at the polar bear again.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ALFRED AND MATTHEW, YOU DAMNED FROG?!?!?!!!"
And, before France could even attempt to defend himself and explain what was really happening, he was on the ground, holding a hand up to his now bleeding, possibly broken nose.
The good thing was that this effectively startled both of the little colonies into silence. For a moment, America blinked down in surprise at the older nation; then he looked up into England's face and immediately broke into a radiant smile. "Iggy!"
England knew the child well enough to know to brace himself now, which was good, as otherwise he would have been knocked over by the force of America throwing himself around his legs. "Hello, Alfred. I'm glad to see that you're all right."
Canada, on the other hand, was now kneeling down beside France, gently patting his head in an attempt at comfort, keeping his grip tight on Kumajiro just in case someone else tried to steal him.
Prussia, who had been standing relatively near the doorway throughout this mess, was now slowly inching closer toward the front door. Since England was distracted, this would be the perfect chance to make his escape. Not because he was afraid…It was just time to grace Austria with his presence. Unfortunately for him, England had noticed this and now turned toward him, eyes flashing in fury. "Don't you dare even think about it."
The awesome Prussia was most definitely not afraid. However, in these sorts of situations, it was probably better to just do what the raging Papa-bear England said to do. So he hurried back over to the couch and sat down next to Spain, who was holding a now-giggling Romano.
Apparently seeing France get punched in the face was rather amusing to him.
At least he'd forgotten about the tomato juice.
And then Italy, who had been staring at France in shock, called out in a rather teary voice, "Ve~ is France-nii dead?"
And that was when England realized that it was not just America and Canada that were here. But that there were actually five little nations having their innocence tainted by these three idiots. And his face turned a shade of red that caused Spain, France, and Prussia to all shrink back slightly in their seats.
"What the fu—hel—What do you think you're doing? Italy and Romano?"
Prussia immediately pointed toward France. "It was all his idea."
France flashed him an irritated glare. Traitor.
For a moment, England looked as if he were about to kill France right on the spot. Especially when he caught a glimpse of what was spread out on top of the formerly-covered table. It was enough to cause a flush to rise to his own cheeks. But then he remembered that there were currently five still at least somewhat innocent children watching his every move with intense interest.
He paused, and then spun around and motioned toward Spain. Since, knowing him, he'd probably had the least to do with this idiotic idea. "Spain, why don't you take the kids out of here?" He slid his hand into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. "Let them get some ice cream…"
"ICE CREAM!!" America immediately released England's leg and threw himself at Spain. The promise of ice cream could very easily change the identity of a boy's favourite person of the moment.
Romano immediately flashed the other child a furious glare, while Spain just laughed and patted the boy on the head. "All right, I'll take you to get ice cream."
England pulled out a few bills and then handed them to Canada, who eyed the money curiously. "Go give that to Spain. He's going to take you out to get some ice cream. Pick whatever kind you'd like."
Canada's eyes widened, but he didn't move for a moment. Ice cream or staying here and making sure that his big brother was okay? Ice cream…or France?
After a few seconds, he slowly made his way over to Spain, climbing up onto the sofa and cuddling against the other nation's side.
France groaned. "Traitor."
Romano was getting even more irritated, obviously not enjoying the fact that the other children were encroaching upon his space.
"Hey, Artie?" Prussia called. He'd managed to capture his little brother at some point during this mess and now had him seated on his lap, looking as if he'd much rather be anywhere else. Prussia was hoping that if he had a kid, it might mean that England would be less likely to hurt him. "How 'bout I help Tonio with this? He's got enough on his lap keeping track of Romano, let alone all of the others." He attempted his most innocent look. Which just earned an eye roll from England.
"Fine, go, whatever."
And Prussia was instantly on his feet, grabbing both Italy and Germany's hands and almost dragging them to the front door. "Come on, Tonio! Let's go get ice cream! Quadruple-decker fudge and death by chocolate sundae with chocolate sauce and chocolate sprinkles for me!"
America had by this point crawled up onto Spain's knees and was staring in interest at Romano, who looked about two seconds from hitting the other boy on the head with his sippy cup.
Thankfully, Spain chose this moment to decide to stand up, forcing America back down onto the ground. He instantly grabbed onto Spain's shirt, Canada immediately taking the hand that he wasn't using to keep Romano from attempting to beat up the other kids.
Germany wasn't sure if he should stay behind and try to protect France, who was glaring at all of them as if they were abandoning him to his death.
Then he thought of that picture. It made him feel much less guilty.
Besides, he greatly liked ice cream too.
"You're all traitors!! …Ah, Angleterre, you know I was only trying to be a good role-model to—Ow!!"
A/N: I feel like I'd die just by looking at a quadruple-decker fudge and death by chocolate sundae with chocolate sauce and chocolate sprinkles ice cream cone. So. Much. Chocolate. Darn, now I want chocolate ice cream.
And that tis the end :D The next story that I'm going to do is most likely going to be a mafia!Romano adventure fic, so keep watch for that. Not sure when I'll start on it.