A/N: So this is supposed to be word for word from a dream that I recently had. I just had to right it down, so if its too unrealistic for you, don't read it. WARNING: If you didn't read it before, this is really unrealistic. Deal with it.

Summary: When Chuck was 16 he decided Blair Waldorf would be his 183rd screw and 181st kiss. That was the way it was supposed to be.

Disclaimer: Pre-series. Not really canon, but I suppose that's your opinion. Un-beta-ed. Characters aren't mind but the rest comes from the mystery that is my brain. Once again, this was just a dream I had, and I don't care if its unrealistic. I was listening to "Nancy Boy" by Placebo while editing.

Truth be told, it was the Sheppard Wedding that had changed everything. Chuck hadn't planned it like this but one day... it just was. Serena and Nate had been drifting closer and closer together. Flirtations were common but Chuck was sure Blair hadn't noticed.

Until she did.

It came as a surprise. For both of them.

It was when Blair grew tired of pulling Serena down from table tops and her love of Georgina. Nate looked appalled at Blair's tired face and went to help the blonde. But Chuck knew it was Blair who was the one in trouble.

He didn't know what was happening to him but it happened whether he understood it or not. He kept it buried but the truth was, he always had a little bit of hope for her. And he would always get a little bit drunk for her.

It wasn't until they were both gotten drunk with angst against themselves and the people who didn't notice them (not the mention The Palace's best scotch and booze) did it happen. Did Chuck realize that it happened.

Can I tell you a secret? she whispered in a tone that Chuck could only categorize as sultry with her breath whetted with the scent of rum and her sexuality.

Normally Chuck would sneer and ask if they had become girlfriends or something. But then he realized he had a secret too. He told her nonverbally to proceed and laughter bubbled up in her throat.

I'm seriously considering breaking up with Nate.

And there it was. That was how he knew she knew. He didn't know how to respond.

But he did.

You know Waldorf, he mused drunkenly. I have a secret too.

She was pressing her manicured fingers to her ruby mouth to stop from laughing. But she listened anyway.

I've never done it with a virgin before.

You must have, Blair said, more to herself in disbelief.

It's true, he replied.

Why not? Blair couldn't help but wonder.

And there was the return of his smirk.

I guess I'm saving myself.

That was when Chuck realized that Blair had become a best friend to him of sorts. Because out of everything she desperately wasn't thinking of the end of that sentence that hung off.

For you.

But he didn't say it.

It wasn't time yet.

It was then he realized that he could very well be in the running for something that never belonged to him. Even if it miraculously just did.

But Blair knew. Blair always knew. She was well versed in ignoring the cold hard facts, but underneath her society princess facade, she wasn't stupid. She knew her fraud of a relationship with some boy was falling apart.

And she didn't have a best friend anymore.

She had a Chuck Bass.

Blair sneered as the couple danced. Only from time to time did guests of the wedding traipse up and down the staircase but still, Serena and Nate were oblivious to everything that didn't have to do with themselves.

That was how it always had been.

They stood on the landing giggling and twirling with each other to the music and Blair wanted to vomit.

What was worse, she wanted to find Chuck and she didn't know why. Blair fled to find herself running, not aware that the devil was chasing her. But she was running that fast.

She found herself in the middle of the dance floor where the music surrounded in an aura of vibrations. She had no idea that someone was watching her.

It was the first time he had seen her dance.

She wasn't the only one alone on the floor. Only a few couples permeated the dance floor. She was in the middle of it all.

Chuck hesitated at the door watching as her painful beauty sputtered and flared with heartbreak. She swayed with herself, the music quelling as though she were commanding it with her very being.

Her movements were slow but calculated and he knew this wouldn't be the first time he wouldn't be able to look away.

So he waited.

He watched as she walked through the reception. Her almost black hair fluttered across her shoulders as her even blacker dress clung to her curves. He approached her with deathly silence.

She was all Black.

His Black Beauty.

He surveyed her face as she turned to him.

"There you are," he said but he couldn't bring himself to admit what he had just seen in the empty bar.

His eyes narrowed at her appearance. There were dark shadows beneath her eyes and he wanted to take care of her. She was as broken as he was.

"I'm getting out of here," he informed her. He looked see almost something like disappointment flicker in her eyes. He held on to that thought.

"Oh," she said softly. She could be so fragile even when her fury made her unbreakable.

"Come meet me when you're done here," he said.

But the truth was he just couldn't stand to see Nate right now. It disgusted him too much. He saw a small smile finally grace her features and it made her fragile looking body look even more tragic.

"You look skinny," he said bluntly. He watched Blair look down at herself.


But it wasn't a compliment.

And she knew that.

"Blair," he said but wasn't sure why his tone had gotten so soft all of a sudden. "Have you eaten anything today?"

He watched her eyes darken but truth was there. He knew it. He just didn't know why anyone else didn't seem to care. She didn't answer.

"I'll see you," he said.

It was more of a command than a statement.

She would come with him today.

"Waldorf..." he sighed. "At least drink something," he said authoritatively before adding a hesitant, "please?"

And there she was. That breaking girl before him and she nodded slowly.

He ghosted by her and Blair wondered what was happening to her. She could feel these feelings coursing through her that were supposed to be attributed to something else but just weren't. She turned as she watched him walk away just as it seemed that Serena and Nate re-entered the party.

And she knew it.

She just knew.

Female intuition or the fact that Nate seemed to smell like something that strikingly resembled Serena's perfume but still, she let her dignity slip away. She let them speak to her that way like nothing had happened and that she was a complete fool.

And she knew she and Nate weren't forever.

They treated her carefully and like she didn't know anything but it was one thought that kept entering her mind that she couldn't shake.

They didn't care enough to worry to tell her to drink anything.

It was the insistent vibrating against her that alerted her to him as she heard blonde chatter around her everywhere.

She could never hear his desperation. It was always like that. But that didn't mean she couldn't see it. His thoughts and urges clouded his mind as he dialed his best friend's girl and didn't know why it was so crowded in his head.

Where are you? Pick up, pick up, pick up...

And then it happened.

She smiled.

She was looking at her caller ID with his name in flashing lights and she just smiled. She felt Serena's questioning blue eyes on her but couldn't stop herself.

And she knew she was in trouble.

"I have to take this," Blair murmured, walking away from the group. She didn't know anything. All she knew was that he was on the other end.

"Where are you?" he asked, but boredom laced his tone. But he couldn't resist. He had to add a teasing, "I miss you."

And it was happening again. She found herself smiling for reasons unknown. Or reasons she wouldn't admit to herself. Nate never said anything like that to her. He did what he thought movie boyfriends should do and it never occurred to Blair that there could be mundane three words that made her feel like she actually should drink something.

"Hurry up," he added. She wondered why she wanted to.

"For what?" she asked before new what she was doing. Her teasing matched his and she realized that she hadn't even ever flirted with his best friend; her real boyfriend.

But it wasn't going to last.

There was a lull in the conversation and Blair knew there was something new here.

Chuck was suddenly quiet and her heart stopped. She could practically feel his sneer across phonelines."How much do you think Nate will hurt you when he finally does you?"

The strange thing was, she knew that he was saying this out of care. He cared. Visions of losing her virginity were supposed to be romantic but she knew she just couldn't trust Nate. Especially with something like that. And what scared her more was knowing who she actually did trust.

And how he cared.

Then she remembered.

I've never done it with a virgin.

I guess I'm saving myself.

And it scared her.

For you.

She didn't know why she liked it.

"That was an awkward romance moment," Blair finally said.

She was really abusing sarcasm.

"Let's forget it."

"Gladly," he cut in. He didn't know what compelled him to care about her so damn much but it just happened. Even so, it surprised him when she responded so quickly.


He smirked as he looked up at her as she arrived, adjusting the camera.

"Is this really what you wanted me here for?" she asked, taking careful steps around the area, surveying the equipment. "To ask my opinion on you violating your conquests' privacy on camera?"

"There are four cameras in the entry way and only one in the bedroom," Chuck defended.

"How is that better?" Blair asked. "Were you planning on being an amateur documentary filmmaker?"

"Oh, there's nothing amateur about me," he smirked. "I just wanted to capture your reaction coming in."

Blair rolled her eyes and that was when it happened.

When Chuck was 16 he decided Blair Waldorf would be his 183rd screw and 181st kiss. That was the way it was supposed to be.

But then it didn't happen.

She didn't break up with Nate.

Her father didn't stick around.

Serena didn't tell anyone where she was going.

That's why he didn't see it coming. Suddenly Nate was gone. Suddenly Serena was back.

Suddenly she was in his lap, rigid with excitement.

Blair Waldorf was his 248th screw and 245th kiss.

But she was his first virgin.

And last.

Does his makeup in his room
Douse himself with cheap perfume
Eyeholes in a paper bag
Greatest lay I ever had
Kind of guy who mates for life
Gotta help him find a wife
We're a couple, when our bodies double

The lyrics at the end belong to Placebo's "Nancy Boy." It really has nothing to do with this fic but this was what I was listening to while writing and that's the part that I imagined Blair was dancing to. It was just really good music for that part. Again, this is just a dream I had and its supposed to have that hazy effect to it.