A/N: I know I said this in the description, but I felt like I'd add it in here too. There isn't going to be any yaoi in this story since it's not a topic of my preference. Nothing against it, just not my cup of tea if you will. Anyways, been wanting to start this story ever since the idea occurred to me while talking to a friend online, so here it is! I hope you like it.
Zoro sat up with an aching groan, reaching up and rubbing his throbbing forehead.
"Ugh… where… where am I?"
The swordsman looked around his surroundings and saw that he was in the fish tank room aboard the Thousand Sunny. Sitting forward and massaging his eyes, the strawhat pirate began trying to recollect the night previous.
He pulled a complete blank.
Had he really drank so much the night before that he blacked out? Zoro leaned forward and tried to stand up but only made it halfway up before a wave of vertigo kicked in and threw him back to the floor. He landed hard, much harder than he should have, and Zoro felt the world spin around him momentarily before he shut his eyes closed and took a deep breath to clear his senses.
The uneasiness in his body fading for the moment, Zoro felt himself surge with energy he didn't think he had and thrust himself upwards into a standing position, his legs wobbling and shaking to support his weight. Bracing himself with one arm against the fish tank, the green haired swordsman looked around the rest of the room to see if any others in his crew were there.
Zoro suddenly felt an intense killing wave coming from the fish tank and turned to see an enormous shark his idiot captain had tossed into it charging at him. His instincts overcoming his senses, Zoro gawked at the sight while throwing himself back to dodge the oncoming attack despite the fact the shark would be unable to pass through the barrier. The swordsman trotted back a couple of steps before the back of his boot kicked hard into something in the middle of the floor, throwing the strawhat over it and onto the ground hard for a second time.
Wheezing sharply under his breath in extreme discomfort, Zoro angrily looked to where path had been interrupted. The face of the ship's cook faced back at the green haired swordsman, cringing in pain from both the kick in his gut and the night before.
"Ow, you bastard! The hell was that for!" the young cook cried out, clutching his face in one hand and his stomach in the other; then, under his breath, "Ugh, I feel like shit."
"Don't get mad at me, I'm not the one who passed out in the middle of the floor, idiot."
Sanji angrily looked at the swordsman across from him. "Idiot? Ever heard of looking where you're walking, stupid marimo head?"
Zoro had to stifle a laugh to avoid causing his stomach more undue stress. Staring back at him was a cook whose mouth and face had bright red lipstick smeared all over it. Zoro desperately wanted to make fun of the cook, but decided to wait until he felt better.
The blonde haired cook closed his eyes and turned on his back again, trying to clear his mind from the rude awakening.
"What happened last night?" he finally asked after a time.
"Beats me," Zoro responded, "I can't remember a thing."
Zoro managed to drag himself over to another wall and propped himself up against it.
"I think it's just us down here," the swordsman noted, looking around again, "wonder where the others are…" At that point Zoro saw a giant, empty bottle of rum that he somehow recalled downing at some point in the night. Thinking of the drink, Zoro was reminded of how horrible he felt and wretched, almost throwing up. The green haired swordsman forced his eyes shut to prevent from what almost happened to become a reality. "My god, how much did we drink last night?"
Zoro heard a distressed groan come from his companion. Though not the same violent reaction the swordsman had when he thought of the alcohol he'd drank, Zoro could tell that the thought was causing the blonde haired cook a lot of suffering as well.
"I don't even want to think about it…" Sanji moaned. "Christ, I think this is the worst hangover I've ever had."
Sanji pushed himself against the ground, getting himself into a sitting position. He had to keep moving to distract himself from his horrid hangover. "If I can get to the kitchen, I'll be able to make something perfect for hangovers… it'll kick it right out of you."
The idea greatly appealed to the green haired swordsman. "Need any help with that? Maybe I could make it go faster."
"As if," Sanji chuckled gruffly, "knowing you you'd probably do something to make everything worse, not better."
"Bite me, love cook."
Sanji leaned over to yell at the swordsman before noticing something that stuck out to him. Without warning, the blonde haired cook burst out into heavy laughter, clutching his sides.
"What's up with you?" Zoro asked.
"Your—your face," Sanji responded, still laughing as he talked, "you should see—your face!"
Zoro raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny about my face?"
"You look ridiculous!" Sanji continued, "With all of that makeup on your face—it's too much"
Having said all he could manage, Sanji started hitting the floor with his free hand, tears almost beginning to appear in his eyes.
Zoro didn't find the whole thing quite as funny as his counterpart did, and a confused countenance on the swordsman soon turned into an apprehensive one as he thought on what the cook had just said.
Zoro reached up and hesitantly touched his right cheek, feeling something damp on it. The green haired swordsman rubbed his fingers against his cheek before inspecting them; a muxed color of what he gathered had to be lipstick now on them.
The swordsman continued to stare at his hand, refusing to even consider what it could mean. He was alone with the cook, both of them couldn't remember what happened… and… they both had… lipstick on them…
"NOOOOOOO" Zoro yelled, scratching at his face in pure disgust at the nagging idea invading his mind.
"Oi, marimo! What is it!" Sanji yelled out of mixed concern, turning to the green haired swordsman. It wasn't like his crewmate to have such a drastic reaction.
Zoro leapt up and threw his back against the wall, as if he was trying to escape from the blonde haired cook. All he could do was choke on his tongue and point fearfully at the cook.
Sanji grinned. "Don't tell me you're that horrified that I got to see you with makeup on your face!" He began to laugh a little again. "Don't get me wrong, I'm totally telling everybody, but it's nothing to get that upset over." Sanji looked again to his companion, noting no difference in the man's appearance. If anything, he looked more sickly than before; if that was even possible.
Sanji furrowed his brows, taking a cigarette from his pocket and placing it in his mouth, shrugging at the swordsman in the meantime. "I mean," he began, pressing down on the cigarette in his mouth, his speech slightly muffled from it, "it's not like it's from me or anything. "
The cook casted a glance at the green haired swordsman, taking his lighter from the other pocket and tried to strike a fire with it. What Sanji saw caused him to stop his attempts at lighting the cigarette and hang his mouth open a little. Zoro's eyes were stark white, wide open and terrified. The swordsman continue to stammer while pointing at the cook and what he'd just said and the implications of it began to dawn on the blonde haired pirate.
Hesitant and somewhat fearfully, Sanji reached up with his free hand and took the cigarette out of his mouth, looking at it. What stared back almost brought the strawhat to tears; there was faded red lipstick all over it. The fact that the color of the lipstick on his cigarette was a little lighter than that of what was on his crewmate did not cross Sanji's mind as he jumped up and took a similar stance to Zoro, pointing at him while stuttering.
"W—W— What did you do!? Why is there lipstick on both of us?!"
"What did I do? What did YOU do?!"
The two continued to yell at each other before the more than welcomed sight of the sink in the room crossed their visages. Both instantly and simultaneously bolted over to the sink, fighting each other to get a hand under the running water to wipe away the evidence of what they believed to have happened.
"Get away! I was here first!"
"Like hell you were! I need to get this shit off of me!"
Both strawhats continued to argue while wrestling for control over the sink, continually pushing each other to get a better position. It took a couple of minutes before either noticed something of particular importance.
"Oi, curly brow," Zoro said suddenly, stopping and looking at his hands.
"What is it?"
The swordsman continued to inspect his hands thoroughly. "Is it me or are there two colors?"
"Huh?" Sanji looked down at his own hands as well, seeing that what his companion had said had merit to it. There were two different colors of lipstick on his hands. The blonde haired cook took a moment to look at the swordsman's face again, noting that the lipstick covering his face matched one of the colors on his hand, but not the other. "I think you're right, it didn't come from us at least."
Zoro exhaled audibly. "Thank god, that scared the hell out of me."
"Tell me about it." Sanji began cleaning his hands and face off at the sink while the swordsman was distracted. "One thing that still hasn't been answered, though…"
"Where did the makeup come from?"
Zoro furrowed his brows and rubbed his chin, deep in thought. "Beats me, still can't remember a damned thing." The green haired swordsman took his turn at the sink to clean up since the cook had finished.
Sanji walked over to where he had dropped his cigarette at the moment of terror and placed it back into his mouth, igniting the narcotic and inhaling some much needed smoke. "What say you we find out?"
Zoro looked at the cook through the mirror's reflection, a small smirk on his face. "What, you think one of the girls did it? Get real."
Sanji quickly turned back to the swordsman, clenching his fists and drawing them to his sides. "It HAS to be! Why else do you think we had it all over our faces!" Sanji felt his heart beat faster and faster and the idea that his lovable Nami-san or Robin-chan had given him a kiss during the night fuelled the youth's vigor. "ALRIGHT, NAMI-SAN, ROBIN-CHAN, I'M HERE FOR YOU. THERE'S ENOUGH OF ME FOR BOTH OF YOU! OOHHHHHHHHH"
"Tch. Shut up already and give it a rest." Zoro finished washing his face at the sink and turned around, leaning back against the wall. "Like either of them would do something like that, especially with you." Ignoring the blonde haired cook's outcries of anger to the latest statement, Zoro continued, "If anything, either somebody is playing a bad prank on us or we did it to ourselves last night without realizing it. My bet is on Usopp to be honest."
Tears of sorrow began streaking down the cook's face as he understood that what the swordsman said was likely true, however the fervor in his heart would not allow him to relinquish the idea that one of the lovely ladies aboard the ship was the source. The tears turned to ones of joy as the thought that it came from both of them crossed his mind, perhaps even at the same time.
"ALRIGHT, WAIT FOR ME, NAMI-SAN, ROBIN-CHAN!"
"You're really not going to let this go, are you?"
Sanji looked defiantly at his comrade. "Of course not! I'm going to find out which of the ladies gave me this wonderful gift!" The cook chortled to himself, "Or both of them, hoo hoo."
"Sheesh, good luck with that then, I guess," Zoro scoffed dismissively, moving to go back up to the deck.
"Wait, marimo!" Sanji waited for the moss-head to turn around. "You're going to help!"
The green haired swordsman tilted his head to the side. "Huhhh? Why would I do something like that? I've got no reason or desire to find out such a petty thing." He returned to walking towards the exit, gesturing for the cook to follow him. "Now hurry up and make that dish you were talking about, my head could split a diamond in half right now."
Sanji chuckled. "Ohhh? You'd like me to make you that, wouldn't you?" The cook crossed his arms, shaking his head. "Too bad, it's not going to happen."
Zoro looked back angrily at his crewmate. "What?" he seethed.
Sanji grinned. "That's right, unless you agree to help me find out which lady kissed me, I'm not making you that dish." Zoro opened his mouth to respond, but Sanji cut him off. "And only when we learn that will I make it, not before. I'm not a sucker."
The swordsman grinded his teeth together, fuming at the impetuousness of his crewmate while trying to ignore his aching body. "You're going to need to do better than that."
"Huh? That's a surprising answer." Sanji took a drag from his cigarette. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you want to find out yourself and you're just trying to get me to convince you."
Zoro twitched at the line.
Sanji looked at him earnestly. "So who do you want it to be, hmm?"
The green haired swordsman scoffed at the question, turning his back to the cook quickly before the strawhat could notice his contorted face. "I'll help, geeze. You'd better make that hangover dish though, otherwise I'm going to kick your ass."
"It's a deal." Sanji finished his cigarette, putting it out in an ashtray located conveniently nearby. Smiling, he said, "Shall we get started then?"
Ending note: I know I still haven't finished the other stories yet, but this idea had been running in my head for a while now and with St. Patty's day happening, I couldn't resist myself. I've been working on the other stories, so they're mostly to partially done, so it's not like I've been neglecting them. I won't be updating this until my other stories finish, but I don't think it will last any longer than 3-4 chapters. I'll get back to it eventually, though, and it should stand to be a lot different from where I usually go with stories (it already has to an extent). On a side note, I'm very happy with the writing for this chapter and I feel like it's a huge improvement from previous stories. I'm getting better at managing dialogue, I think, so hopefully it shows in this chapter. Hope you all enjoyed!