A/N: Set after The Blair Bitch Project. I tried my best to change very few things from the episode because majority of it was good enough (at least those with Chuck/Serena since that is the focus of this fic). I really enjoyed writing this one so I hope you have a good time reading it too. Reviews will definitely be appreciated since this would be my first ever story published in the internet. Special mention to Alex who made my fanfic account and to Courtney who did the proofreading.. And of course Joyce, Lucy, and the rest of my beloved GGA-ers for the support.
-G. I ran my fingers across the page of the small note, feeling the dents where she had pressed the pen to the thick paper so hard that it had nearly broken through.1
I felt the softness of my comforter as I sat on my bed still holding Georgina's note. How in the world did I miss it? Of course, she would send me a package full of porn and handcuffs. And that's her being subtle. That's who she is. How could I ever miss such an obvious gesture?
The wild days. Alcohol and drugs and partying and a whole lot more I prefer not to think of. Nauseous. I felt nauseous. My heart beats so hard I can almost name which part of it is touching the skin of my chest. Am I going to faint? No. I can't faint right now. But why do I feel like this would be the last day of my now happy and bubbly life? I'm not even halfway to recovering from the dark and twisty and cloudy days2 I used to have and here she comes again—bringing in all the fires from hell she could to ruin me... or at least to scare me. The one person who loves champagne more than Chuck Bass is back. Unbelievable. As much as I hate to admit it, someone could really be sicker than my stepbrother. Gees. Did I just call him brother?
Poor Chuck. He's innocent after all. I was wrong. I was so wrong it makes me feel sick to the stomach. I said a lot of not so nice words to him since the porn package. I accused him and he denied everything but I didn't believe him. I know it's no excuse but I only did and said those because he's Chuck Bass, and Chuck Bass is the only existing entity I know who has the time and resources to do those. Not to mention doing schemes is his calling in life. Apparently I was wrong and I feel terrible about it. I feel worse about hurting him, even worse than the fact that it was actually Georgina and not him.
Nevertheless, I'd rather it to be just another Chuck's childish ploy than this because with him, I know that at the end of the day he'll stop when he sees that his tricks have successfully gotten to me. He'll stop in the first sign of my annoyance with what he has done. Just a soft slap on his face or arms or a scream or even something as light as a glare will make Chuck stop. Because with Chuck I don't need to beg. For him, seeing me infuriated is more than enough. With Chuck, there's fun. Or at least he's having fun. And seeing him having fun is, well, fun. At least there's one less sad pervert in the world. For some reason I can't find, it makes me feel good making him happy.
But this isn't Chuck. I didn't know I'd come to a point when I'd say this but I wish it was Chuck. I'd rather my blood boiling of frustration and anger to him right now than with something between fright and panic. Panic is the last thing I want to feel, especially right now that the SATs are just around the corner. I cannot afford to lose focus. Definitely not now when things are almost too good to be true.
I didn't know I was holding my breath until I put the note on my side table. I buried myself under the covers as if doing so will make everything go away. I closed my eyes and focused on the infinite blackness. While I was pondering how Georgina's return would change my life, a knock on the door startled the blonde in me.
When I opened it, "Chuck."
The last person I expected to see is here. What do you want? Are you here to return the favor of harshness and emotional harassment?
"Spare me the drama, Sis. I won't be here for long or Bart will literally kick me out again".
He came in without my invitation and sat on my bed—on the side where I curled up in a ball earlier. I love it when he looks so comfortable in my room. It's a shouting manifestation of our unnamed intimacy. Not that there is something more to it but I'm just glad to know that aside from Blair who's practically the sister I never had, I have Chuck as a family now whether I like it or not. There's a certain joy in having friends as family. Because we can't choose family. I cannot choose to be unrelated to Lily or Eric, not that having them was so bad or whatever. I just feel so lucky that even though Chuck is not real family, whether I like it or not, for Lily and Bart's sake, I should learn to like him. And strange enough, I find this predicament not so bad at all.
I couldn't read his face. I know "I apologize" should be the first words to come out of my mouth right now. But why do I feel so cold? And nervous. And confused. And anxious like something I don't know is happening.
"Why are you staring at me like this is our first time to be locked in your room, alone?"
"What? Seriously Chuck, can't you act mature for once?" Forgive me if I find it hard to just apologize to you. But I'm really sorry Chuck. For blaming you and for being so harsh. I remained standing in front of him, arms crossed.
"I don't need to claim maturity Serena. I'm here to remind you how blonde you were these past few days." Hot and blonde, that is.
I need to apologize now or forever hold my silence.
"Chuck, look. I'm sorry. I was wrong-"
"I had Georgina thrown out of the country even before she had completely made her great comeback."
Before I knew it, I was already sitting on my bed next to him figuring out what he has just said. I continued reading his expression, trying to find sincerity in his eyes. No wonder he can easily seduce practically every woman that comes along his way. Chuck is a charmer. A mystifying one, for that matter. Soon he'll be officially my stepbrother and I can't help but feel proud.
"Take a picture, Sis. Not only that it lasts longer, it also doesn't blush when stared at." What the hell? Is something wrong with my face? Or my hair?
"I'm sorry, what did you just say about Georgina?" Darn, S, what are you possessed? I know Chuck is good-looking since the day my eyes learned to differentiate colors but I didn't expect him to be this beautiful.
"I said you were so blonde that you didn't realize it was Georgina who sent you those gifts. I must say I was impressed. The girl deserves more credit than the ticket to some European country I gave her. Apparently, she's into dating royalty now."
"But how do I know you're telling the truth? How do I make sure she's not coming back?" Is this just another trick he's planting on me?
"Because I told you so, gully." Impatience is now reflecting on his face. Gees, his short temper suits him so well.
That's all I need to hug him. It's almost the most natural thing to do. I don't remember hugging Chuck, ever. All I remember was him trying to hug me back to the wild days when we used to hang out at some random bar near Grand Central together with some older friends. Those drunken nights when we were a couple of years younger, but a lifetime more naive. Gees, a lot has changed since then. But today seems more special—or at least the hug I gave him was extra special. I hugged him the tightest I could. And I only felt his palm softly brushing the small of my back.
"Oh my god Chuuuuck! I can never thank you enough! You don't have an idea how you saved my life!" I love you! I love you! I love youuuu!
"Oops, Sis. Let's not get carried away. If you want to repay me, I can think of a couple of ways. Although if you consider hugging as some type of a foreplay, I won't complain either." I expected just a huge bright smile, Sis. But thanks anyway. I didn't know pure altruism exists until I felt the need to take care of you.
"Chuck!" To what do I owe your existence in my life?
"Relax! May I remind you that you used to have sense of humor. I told you, Georgina's gone. Now help me get my ass back here in the our suite. Bart can really get moody like some hormonal bitch sometimes." He's now standing and looking through some of my pictures displayed on the other side of my bed like it's his first time to see them.
Oh yeah. All the dinner table accusations I threw into you. You deserve none of them Chuck. Now that everything that I did these past few days suddenly dawned into me, I felt my stomach did a 360◦ turn.
"Seriously Chuck. Thank you. I'm sorry about everything that I said these past few days. I really thought it was you. But I was so wrong. It's Georgina, I learned this morning. She left me a note. I was really afraid and panicking until you showed up here now. Thanks." There. I finally said it.
Should he be looking at me, I know I wouldn't be able to say it just yet because of his eyes. Through them I can already see forgiveness like I never did anything at all. They say eyes mirror the soul of a person. Yes I considered Chuck as a person, but a soulless one. That's why it came as a shock to me that I see emotions in his eyes. Why Chuck, why do you look like you care and why do I feel like you do?
That's all he said, with his back still facing me. And I felt all the more guilty. Seriously?
"How do I make it up to you, Chuck?" okay, I didn't mean to ask that but that's my heart speaking without my brain's consent. He then turned around and faced me.
"You wouldn't want to hear my answer so I'll leave you alone with yourself under the covers to do what you're supposed to be doing hadn't I disturbed you. I have some things to attend to. I just came by to make sure your sanity's intact after all that Georgina has sent you."
With this he turned to the door. I was still half smiling when I felt a sudden rush of sadness with the thought of him leaving. He turned the knob and opened my door but before finally walking out of my room..
"Just call me when you think you need a little more than hugging. I might make time for it." And he left with his killer smirk, that helped me make it through the rest of the day.
 From Steph Meyer's Eclipse. The description of Jacob's note to Bella.
 From Grey's Anatomy. Adapted from Meredith Grey's way of describing herself.
A/N: Again, reviews, harsh or not, will be appreciated. Thank you!