This Isn't Love
Is it sad that I thought this one up at my Uncle's 50th birthday? XDD
Summary - Roxas thinks that he has found the love of his life. He didn't think Axel could be as horrible as he is.
Disclaimer - Really? Fanfiction. No one owns Jack Shit here.
Warnings - Alcohol, Swearing, Murder, Cheating, Abuse, Boy'love'
Pairing - Akuroku
The way we met, you would never have thought ... that it would turn out this way. I most definately didn't think so. But, I was young, naive, innocent. Maybe I just wanted to spice my life up. And you had the spice. Oh ho ho, you had the spice.
We worked together. I liked it there. But you didn't. You didn't want me to work there. Not after a while. And you were the boss. Couldn't go against your orders. No one ever did. Not one person. Is that why we ended up the way we did?
You should never have trusted me.
"Hey, Rox, hand me that mug, would you? Big man here wants a draft." I nod to the redhead, moving behind the counter, running a cleaning cloth over the deep mahogany wood as I go. Emerald orbs watch me in the half-light of the bar and I can almost taste the lust radiating in the gaze, causing a smirk to show itself on my lips. I bend down slightly, laying a delicate, unmanly hand around the handle of a beer mug, pulling it up onto the counter with grace. Sliding the heavy glass over to the boss, I go back to wiping away the condensation on the counter.
"Better watch it, kid. He likes it rough."
I jump at the voice from the other side of the polished counter-top. "I ... Good to know."
"Take my advice, kid. Get out while ya still can."
"What are you talking about? I'm not in anything." I glare with cerulean orbs at the scarred man in front of me.
"As if. I see the way he looks at ya. Get out."
The one visible eye rolls as my colleague pushes himself off of the counter, grabbing a tray. "Yer doomed, kid."
"Pfft, whatever." I watched him move away, feeling something burn in the pit of my stomach. Xigbar had never spoken more than two words to me. It seemed that only the boss was able to hold up a conversation, so I was shocked to see the elder man willingly coming over to talk. But… a warning? He leaves me with a warning?
"Care to make that noise again back at my place, kid?" My body stiffens as a hand grips tight on my shoulder. I smirk, relaxing, as I realize it is Axel behind me.
"Does this mean I have a choice?" I ask, honestly wondering. No one has a choice if Axel wanted you. If he wants in your pants, he'll get there.
"We'll just have to see, won't we, Rox?"
I shiver, feeling his breath dusting over my ear as he leans close, pulling back with another mug in his hand. The fire burns throughout my body when I feel him moving away. "Axel?"
I know the redhead understands what I mean by the playful smirk that is laid out on his lips but he still decides to play dumb. "Whatever do you mean, Roxy?"
Again, I shiver, the prospects laying bare out in front of me. "You ... You know what I mean." He does but he just wants me to admit it. He wants to hear me say it out loud.
"Remind me again, kiddo?" I don't know why he calls me that. I'm not that much younger than him. I'm hardly a kid. I graduated last year. He's only twenty three. Five years. Not bad.
I sigh, defeated. "Ya know what, never mind."
"No, no, go ahead."
"You have customers. Go tend to them."
He pins me against the counter as I attempt to move past him. I wince at the feel of his fingers around my wrist, not knowing when the digits had been clenched there. "Shift is almost over. It's late. Don't make me cranky, Rox. You know what happens then." I feel his much larger body press against mine. He is a head taller than I, not counting the mane of crimson spikes. Despite his thin build, Axel is surprisingly strong. I know that there is no way to get out of his grip. Sighing, I slump into him, knowing full well that Xigbar is what happens when he got angry. He was always liable to lash out at the one causing his bad mood, slicing at them or aiming with clenched fists. I did not wish to end up like that.
"Can ... Would you let me spend the night?"
There is only that one drunk man sitting in the yellow-dim of the bar as Axel leans closer, sending my stomach rolling. Slamming my eyes shut, hoping he wouldn't feel the hammering of my heart at his proximity; I try to back away, knowing it is futile. He purrs slightly and I know he hears my thudding heart. "Of course, Rox. What type of person would I be to let my lil' buddy stay out in the cold?"
"I-It's not that cold."
"Besides, I've wanted to get you in bed for a while now."
"Ugh, Axel, I asked if I could crash at your place, not in your bed."
I can feel more than see the smirk that is lacing on Axel's thin lips as I try to push away from him. "Can't do one without the other, kiddo."
"Gimme a chance."
I can't resist the seduction in his voice, letting my struggling arms fall. It's not like this is new. Axel had caught my eye when he first sat across the desk from me in the back office as I applied for the job. His first comment had been some vulgar slur about how hot my ass looked in those jeans. No wonder one of the job requirements was to be into guys.
"Xig, you gonna close up tonight?"
"Sure, Boss. Don't worry 'bout me. You just go get off on that little piece of ass."
I scowl, pushing against the redhead's chest once more, craving to yell at the black-haired man that I wasn't just some 'little piece of ass' but Axel grips my hand. His mouth is by my ear once more and it causes me to shudder. "Ignore him. He's just jealous."
"'Kay, kiddo, have your pick. There's the couch right there and the spare bedroom is down the hall."
I stay in the doorway, gazing at the redhead in mild confusion as he walks away from me. I can't help but stutter. "I-I... I thought that ..."
"Hunh? Speak up, man. Can't hear ya."
I ball my fists, biting at my lower lip, feeling my stomach churn. I've waited months for this. Why does my mouth go dry now? "I ... I thought that you ... that you ..." I groan. Why can't I say it? He turns back to look at me and we both know what I want to ask but he wants to hear it from me directly, not just assuming what he would want on his own. "I thought that you ... you ... Ugh, never mind, I'll just go sleep on the couch."
He is there in front of me before I even notice. Fingers digging into my arms, he lowers his face down level with my own. I don't pull away. He lets his bottom lip slip between his teeth seductively, bringing a small pout onto his features. "Say what you wanna say, Rox. I'm listenin'."
His breath is right there, dusting over my nose and I close my eyes. I hear my heart pounding in my ears and his touch is burning into my arms. Is it bad that I just want him to kiss me?
"I ... You said that ... You wanted a chance. Take it."
Finally, he leans closer and the warm heat of his lips on mine makes a shiver run over my body. Taking that as a sign that I didn't want to continue, Axel backs away, causing a small whimper to escape my lips. I had wanted so long to see what it would be like with him that I wouldn't ruin it. I move closer and he accepts me into his arms, pressing his lips to mine once more.
"I'll be good to you, Rox."
My eyes flicker open in the sunlight drifting over my face. A soft groan leaves my lips and I attempt to sit up but feel a pain in my rear, another groan issuing from my throat. I hardly know where I am.
Flashes of the night prior flit across my eyes and my stomach churns once more. Axel ... I actually ... ended up ... having sex with him, didn't I? Months of wanting to sleep with him and I finally did?
The smell of eggs and bacon reaches my nose, the crackling sound reaching my ears. My churning stomach slows for a moment, grumbling at the sweet smell of food. My head spins as I sit up, forcing my legs over the side of the bed. It almost hurts to sit so I push off, getting up to my feet. I wince, slightly confused by the pain. The memories don't feel as though they should be real. But the sting ... that makes it real, right? That actually happened?
"Hey, Rox. G'mornin'. Thought I broke ya last night or somethin'."
I saunter into the kitchen, following my nose to locate the source of the smell. My cerulean orbs drift up to see the redhead standing in front of the stove. He turns, moving closer to me, pulling me close to his chest.
"I ... Last night ... did that ... did that actually happen?"
His fingers drift down, over my hips, down to my sensitive backside. I glance up at him in question but receive my answer as a quick, painful squeeze that causes me to yelp.
"Do you think it happened, Rox?"
I moan into his chest as he pulls me even closer. Giving a soft nod, I attempt to pull back.
"Your bacon is gonna burn." A shiver runs over my body as I feel his teeth nipping at my neck.
"You taste better, anyways. Let it burn."
"Thanks for letting me stay, Axe."
I curl into the elder, my eyes closing in exhaustion after a long shift at the bar. Curling his arm protectively around my slim body, he presses his nose in my blonde spikes that are rubbing against his chin.
"I've wanted you in my bed for a while, Rox."
I glower up at him but decide to stay in his embrace, too tired to protest. "I normally don't do this, you know."
"Sleep with someone that I only met a few months ago. I'm not some whore, you know."
"No one ever said you were."
"I feel like one. I come into your apartment not even twenty-four hours ago and already we've had sex."
"Mmm, so, you admit it now? You admit that it wasn't just your mind playing tricks?"
I groan. "Nope. My ass hurts too badly for it to be a trick."
He snorts and I only move closer, feeling a heavy weight on my eyelids. I want to sleep, but his voice breaks into my safe place. "Rox?" I moan at him, the only sign I would show to still being conscious. His warm lips brush against my forehead, so soft and delicate compared to the rough aggression he had put me through. "What would you say ... if I asked for this to be ... of a more permanent nature?" My cerulean orbs drift open to try and see the elder through the almost-darkness.
"Hunh?" is the most I can manage. As tired as I am, I can still make out the hurt in his voice.
"Nah, never mind. It's stupid. You just go to sleep, kiddo." I try to resist but his body heat is overwhelming, his lips dusting over my forehead too much for me to take. Curling closer to him, I allow myself to drift off.
A few days pass before the redhead brings up the topic once more. Another late shift and he moves up behind me, the nearest drunkard over on the far wall, too far to hear us or even notice us. To my surprise, he doesn't brush against me as he normally does. He slumps, with his back to the dimly lit bar, his eyes gazing out back. I glance up at him, mildly confused.
"Roxas ..." I stiffen. Even during my interview, he hadn't called me by my real name. He knows that he has my full attention. "What would you say... about becoming my boyfriend?"
Something in my chest flutters and I feel the blood rushing up to my face. "Y-Your... boyfriend?" I can't help but stutter. For all the time that I knew the redhead, never once had he held a solid relationship with anyone. "Are you ... sure?"
Emerald orbs turn to me and I feel my body shudder under their gaze. "I wouldn't ask if I wasn't sure. I like you, Rox. I wanna keep you." I can't help but laugh quietly, earning a confused look from the elder.
"You make it sound like I'm a stray dog."
He leans closer, placing a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth. "I could always make you my bitch."
I tingle at the words and force myself to take a few steadying breaths. "You have weird fetishes."
"Are you willing to put up with them?"
I smirk. "I'll sorta have to if I'm your boyfriend, right?"
It takes a moment for my words to sink in to the elder but he is reassured by the smile on my lips; the candle-lit gleam in my cerulean orbs. He laces his arms around me and I adore his warmth.
Five months pass and the changes in my lover have been so small that I barely noticed while they were taking place. My time with my co-workers has become less and less and I hardly ever leave the redhead's house after he talked me into moving in with him.
I find myself wiping a table while Xigbar is replacing a useless candle for one that would last another few weeks. "Geez, man, it's like I hardly ever get to talk to you anymore." The black-haired man doesn't crack a smirk like I expect him to. Instead he turns on me, a glint in his golden orb.
"I told you to get away, didn't I? So, what do you do? Sleep with him. What the hell is your problem, kid?"
I let my jaw drop, confusion and hurt being spread over my features. He begins to step closer to me but a cold voice stops him. "Back up, Xigbar, if you care to keep what remains of your face." The black-haired man stiffens, knowing that my lover would fulfill his threat. My cheeks grow red as Axel moves up behind the scarred man, gripping his shoulder and forcing him away. Xigbar glowers between his boss and I and the look forces me to stumble back into the table I had been cleaning.
"H-He wasn't doing anything to me, Axel."
"I don't want him talking to you."
"Why not? He's my friend."
"I don't want him talking to you," he repeats, sending a chill through my body. I can tell by the look in his emerald orbs that I am not to argue, no matter how badly I wish to. "He's closing up tonight. It's time for us to go home." Again, I know not to argue. I nod my head and allow him to grip my shoulder, leading me out to the car. "Say goodbye to this place, Rox. You aren't coming back to it."
I raise my eyebrow, climbing into the car anyways. Axel joins me without another word. "What do you mean, I won't be coming back? You're firing me?"
"No, I just don't want you working. I don't want Xigbar getting so close to you, either."
"He's my friend!"
I cross my arms over my chest, pouting, as Axel starts down the street, speeding off to our shared apartment.
The change is drastic but I can't bring myself to hate him. Axel refuses to let me out of the apartment, locking the door from the outside, trusting the height to keep me from escaping through the windows. I'm more hurt and confused than anything else as I sit on the couch, watching the television while Axel is at work. After a while I assume that the phones have been disconnected. My main tip-off to this was when I picked it up off the hook and not even a dial-tone met my ears. I just wanted a pizza.
He didn't start hurting me until after he knew that I wouldn't even try to run away. He knew I loved him, ignoring the bullshit he was putting me through.
"Roxas!" I cower, having learned by this point that when he used my full name that nothing good was to come of it."Roxas!" he cries once more from the living room. I move down the long hallway with tentative steps, peeking around the corner when he calls out my name once more. He's sitting on the couch, a cigarette in one hand, a bottle of beer in the other. Three others litter the coffee table that he rests his feet on. "Roxas!"
"I-I'm ... I'm right here, " I squeak, already knowing what was about to happen. The scars I hide beneath my shirt seem to come alive at the sight of the orange glow of the cancer-stick.
"Well, get over here! You're no good to me hiding over there!" I stiffen but refuse to protest, knowing that it would be far worse if I put up a fight. I shuffle over, kneeling at his feet as he rightens himself. He puts the bottle on the table before moving the hand down to my chin, lifting it to force me to stare into his emeralds. "You're so beautiful, Roxas." I cringe. "Don't be scared. I just wish that I could be as beautiful as you." The stench of alcohol fills my nose and that is the only thing that keeps the fire of his touch burning against my cheek. It isn't really him. It couldn't be.
The lit end of the cigarette burns in front of my eyes and I just want to run away. I twitch, clamping my eyes shut tight. "I wanna be as beautiful as you, Roxas. Tell me how I can do that." I can't answer. Even when he slaps my cheek, causing an angry red splotch, I can do no more than whimper pathetically. "Oh well. I already know, don't I, Roxas?" Just as I knew it would, the cigarette inches closer to my cheek, pressing close to my skin. I cry out, tears plowing down my face as the fire burns. When he is satisfied with the circle, he pulls back, leaving me to crumple up on the floor, sobbing and aching.
"I will be more beautiful that you someday, Roxas."
Before he can call me back, I break for the bathroom, barely able to see through my tears.
It wasn't all bad. I could still see the possessive side of him, but, when we were alone and he didn't feel like torturing me, I could see the Axel that I had fallen so in love with. He was even able to entice a small laugh out of me every once in a while. His touch still gave me that warm, burning feeling in my stomach. I often wondered if he realized he was the one that was giving me the increasing amount of cuts, scrapes, bruises, and burns. He must have. I never went anywhere else. I hadn't seen outside his apartment since the day he had fired me, almost a year ago. I had been allowed to call my mother once, but that was a few months ago. And the conversation was strictly monitored, so if I wanted to tell her what was really going on, Axel would have punished me severely.
My worst morning was when Axel decided he wanted to go to work early and help the day shift. The night prior had been one of those amazing ones where the Axel I love shone through and we had sweet, glorious sex and I slept curled next to him the whole night.
When I slowly saunter into waking, panic runs through my body and I attempt to thrash about but more horror strikes me when I realize my feet are held together, tied to the base of the bed. My wrists are clasped firmly above my head, attached to the headboard by cold, metal handcuffs. Worst of all, I can't see a thing, my head being covered by the blankets hooked around my elbows. I cry out Axel's name, still thrashing. When no answer meets my ears, I call out once more.
I clamp my eyes shut, trying to quell the fear rushing through my body. I had told Axel the night prior of my severe case of claustrophobia and this was how he paid back my weakness, holing me up tight in a sufficatingly hot tomb of blankets. My breathing slows as I talk myself into calming. Slowly, my head stops spinning and I feel less nauseous.
Forcing my eyes open, I survey the sheets restricting my view of the world. I twitch my elbow, trying to throw off the blanket but to no avail. A ripple in the material appears and I push my head forward, attempting to grip the bulge. Sending my tongue out to gather the sheet, I recoil as the friction burns. Taking another deep breath, I ignore the pain and gather the material, pushing the ripple to be a larger dent until I can grab at it with my teeth. I rock my head from side to side, almost crying out when my eye is uncovered. A shiver of accomplishment rolls through my body and I edge the remainder of the coverings away from my face.
I'm still strapped to the bed but at least now I can breathe. My panting lessens slowly but I don't attempt to free myself any farther, knowing any attempt would be futile. So I decide to try to fall back asleep. I glance over at the clock for a moment before turning my head to the other side, digging my head into the pillows.
A loud pounding on the front door wakes me a few hours later. I start, whimpering lightly when the metal digs into my wrists and ankles. I hear the door open and my name is called out. My eyes go wide and I cower into the blankets that had tried to kill me hours previous. I don't recognize the voice.
"Roxas! Axel told me to come check on you!" An English accent fills the apartment and I hide my face, whimpering away from the intruder. "Make some noise, Roxas. Axel informed me you were locked up in the bedroom. There is no use thinking you could get away from me."
Ice runs through my veins. This man already knows where I am and there is some hint of hidden danger in his voice. Or perhaps it is just because Axel has brainwashed me into believing that the world is out to get me.
"I see you, Roxas." My eyes shut tight once more, refusing to believe that the threat is standing in the doorway. I feel the blankets get pulled away and I force myself to hold back the noise of pained protest that I wish to make as the intruder grips a few golden locks along with the coverings. "Come, now, boy. Look up at me." I do as he says, knowing that if I didn't, I would be punished. "Such beautiful eyes you have. No wonder Axel wanted to keep you." I struggle vainly, ripping my chin away from his gaze. His fingers grip my chin and force it back up. I stare up at short, spiked-blonde hair, ice blue eyes, and a cruel smirk surrounded by a beard.
"Y-You ... You ... need to h-help me. P-Please." The fear drives my voice to be nothing but a wobbling mess. The stranger's cruel smirk grows broader and something sinks through the pit of my stomach. He leans up and unhooks my shackles but doesn't move down to release my feet. I rub at my wrists, glad that they were free. "Please! I ... I think I ... I think I need to get out of here!"
"I've grown up with Axel, child. Do you think I don't know what's happening to you? You needed to get out of here the moment that Axel took an interest in you. You're doomed, Roxas. You just have to put up with him until he decides you are of no use to him."
My eyes grow wide and a chill runs through me. The stranger gets up from the bed that I am still attached to and I struggle to grab his wrist. "Please, sir, you've got to help me! Please!" He just raises his eyebrows, flicking me off of himself.
"My loyalties lie in Axel. If you were foolish enough to fall into his trap, you deserve the torture you receive."
"No! Please! Don't go!"
I reach out for the elder blonde once more but he is already disappearing through the door.
He doesn't seem to trust me anymore. As he gets ready for work, he hauls me into the bathroom with him. It is a few days after I was shackled to the bed and he seems to know that I asked to be set free. He tosses me down at his feet and I can see the handcuffs in his hands.
I don't look up at him.
"Rox, Luxord told me what you begged of him." I stiffen, my eyes growing wide. He kneels down, attaching one side of the handcuffs to my ankle. I notice with a dull pang that they aren't the same pair as last time - the connector is a lot longer. "Do you not love me anymore?" He latches the other end to the foot of the tub. It is one of those old floor models that have the creature-feet supporting them. I back into a corner, biting my lip.
"I ... I still ... I still love you, Axel." My heart hammers in my chest. It isn't a lie, not really. No matter what he does to me, I still love him. I may not like him, but I love him. He's above me now and I can feel his warm breath dusting against my lips.
"Good. Because I still love you, Rox." And I know it's true. He brushes his lips against mine and I can't help the fire that rips through me from the contact. It's so soft and gentle and there is no threat hidden there. "But I want you to stay in here, okay?" His voice is so comforting that I curl into his chest, gripping at him like a little kid grips to his mother before she goes off for work. Really, it isn't much different. I depend on Axel for everything. In return, I can't argue when he beats me. He has, at least, given up on searing me with those horrid cigarettes.
It is two years together before he cheats on me. He isn't even stealthy about it. He wants me to know. He shoves it in my face.
I'm free that day, the first time in months when he is out of the house. The first thing I do is curl up on the couch to watch what I want to watch on television. I eat what I want when I want. I don't even care that Axel will be mad at me. Soon, I'm glancing nervously at the clock. He said that he would be home by now. I don't want him to be met with my appearance at the doorway so I run and hide away in the bedroom. Another ten minutes pass and then I hear the door click open. But he isn't alone. A high-pitched, obnoxious laugh rings through the apartment and I shudder, the noise so foreign in my quiet world. Another laugh rings out after I hear the muffled tone of my captor's voice. Then it is the sound of bodies crashing against each other and the high-pitched laughter turning to screams and sighs of delight.
I can take it no longer. Needing to investigate the sounds that are ripping at my heart, I peek around that familiar wall. A very bored-looking Axel is being straddled on the couch by the blonde witch that had been cackling so pompously only moments earlier. Now her long nails rake against my lover's bared chest, her hips moving of their own accord, bouncing on top of the redhead's. He notices me standing there but only yawns dramatically, winking in my direction. My face heats up and I hold back the whimper.
"You stupid jerk! Why aren't you doing anything?!"
Axel doesn't answer, catching my eye. He nods slightly, not enough for the naked woman to catch but I understand perfectly. I take a deep breath and he smirks.
"It's because you're doing it wrong." My voice is small but I was almost proud. It was the longest I had gone without stuttering in years. The blonde whips around to look at me, a small screech escaping her lips.
"Ew! You pervert! Don't watch! Who the hell are you?! What did you say?!" I step back, intimidated by her fiery rage. Axel sees my fear of the beast and he smiles a reassuring smile towards me, something he hadn't done in so long. The heat rips through my stomach again at the look.
"He's my boyfriend," he states easily and I gape at him. I hadn't heard that word in so long either. I didn't even think of him as my boyfriend any longer. "And he told you why I wasn't doing anything. Rox, tell her again?" I jump, backing into the divider to the kitchen.
"I-I ... I said ... I said you were d-doing it wrong." I attempt to stand strong but with both sets of green orbs on me, I feel my knees shaking. Axel thrusts his hips up sharply, throwing the blonde woman off balance and she falls to the floor.
"Come show her the right way, Roxy-baby." I don't hesitate. Hesitation ends up bringing more pain than is necessary. I've learned this lesson the hard way so I step around the blonde that was still sprawled on the floor, the wind knocked out of her lungs. Axel's hands are on me by the time I make it to stand in front of him. His lips move up to take mine and I glance down to see the hatred and jealousy burning from the woman.
He pulls me down, turning, pressing me onto the couch. I can feel the Axel that I fell in love with again and I move my lips against his, allowing him entrance when he prods for it. His hands are working at my pajama bottoms, getting them down past my ankles. I want to wrap my legs around him and never let him go but somehow I know that that wouldn't be such a good idea. He lets out a warning grumble when I try to hold him close to me. It pains me to know that he doesn't want that, but I go along with it. I bite down on my lip to stifle my cry as he forces himself inside me.
The woman is starting to recover now and I can tell without even looking at her that she is furious. As she stands, she rakes her claws across my lover's back causing him to press himself closer to me. She turns and runs for the door but Axel is up and off of me, the cry of pain unable to be held back this time as it mingles with her screech of terror as she finds him on top of her. That was why he didn't want me to latch onto him. He knew she would try to run.
"You're such a stupid bitch. I told you that if you messed with me, you would regret it. You regret it now, don't you?" She cries and flails in his grip, managing to slice at his cheek, cutting into his skin. His fingers move to her throat and from my spot on the couch I can see her eyes widen in fear.
Some human instinct begs me to get up and help her but my abused side refuses, happy that it is someone else being punched in the face for once. I hear her screams but I don't move to help her. She is begging for her life now and I wonder if he'll give her her wish. I've been in that position only once before. He had been drunk then. Right now, he is far from drunk.
"Axel," my voice betrays me, speaking without my mind's consent. "Axel, don't kill her!" Maybe it's because she's the first person I've seen besides for the one that had betrayed me to my lover or maybe because I knew her fear that made me ask for her life. "P-Please." Or maybe because I didn't want the cops coming and taking him away.
Her lips were turning blue from the lack of oxygen in her body before Axel released her throat. It isn't until I am crawling over to his side that I realize I am crying. He's still holding the unfortunate woman down but he wraps his arms around me, pulling me in close, comforting me.
"Shh, babe. It's okay. No one is dying." A splotch of his blood drips down onto my cheek and I shove myself further into his chest. The blonde below him regains her composure and she attempts to throw the redhead off but he is too heavy for her weak frame to handle. Again, I know her pain. The nights when Axel would pass out on top of me, he would wake and find me half-smothered beneath him. "Rox, hun, why don't you go grab me a knife from the kitchen?"
I nod and force myself to my feet. I find the sharpest, deadliest knife in the drawer, somewhere that I'm only allowed to go as long as Axel is home and able to watch me. Bringing the weapon out to my lover, I hold onto the blade, holding the handle out to the man. I gasp as he rips it from my grasp, feeling the cold metal slice through the tip of my finger. I rush the injury up to my mouth to stop the bleeding. He never takes his eyes away from the woman. "Go wait for me in the bedroom. I'm just going to fix her up a bit."
I'm not fooled. I know that that woman is going to die and I know that there is nothing I can do about it. She must have figured out that her last savior was leaving her as well. Her screams echo around the apartment until I am out of sight and then everything goes quiet. I don't go into the bedroom. Instead, I head inside the bathroom, wrapping my finger in toilet paper to soak up the blood. When I'm finished, I wait outside the door, knowing that Axel will be headed there at some near point. I watch him saunter down the hall towards me.
"That'll be me someday, won't it?" The shock of the stranger's death is still setting in, allowing me to feel as calm as I do. Axel doesn't respond, instead picking me up by the armpits and pulling me close, carrying me into the bathroom. He had pulled on his pants after doing the dirty deed, the material grating against my skin. I press my face into the crook of his neck.
I know what he's truly capable of now. I know that if I screw up bad enough, it will be me laying lifeless out on the living room. What did that woman do? She tried to save herself. At least that means that I won't be dying any time soon. I have given up all hopes of being saved. I know that I am too small, too wrapped up in the elder to actually be able to run away. There's no one out there that would want to help me, or they already would have.
He sits me on the counter and I wince at the cold countertop against my pained behind. Ignoring my pain, noticing the still-dripping wound on his cheek, I turn to the cabinet and pull out the disinfectant and Band-Aids, raising an eyebrow in question. He smiles and nods, allowing me to treat the cut on his face, the scraps over his chest and the long gashes across his back. When I'm finished, he leans forward, pressing our lips together gently.
"I love you, Rox."
"I... I love you ... too." It still isn't a lie. I had just helped him kill someone. My finger throbs painfully and I glance down, noticing that the blood was beginning to come from the cut once more. Axel follows my gaze and gasps when he sees the crimson.
I hide the injury quickly but he is faster, gripping my wrist and holding the finger up to his face. "I-I ... The ... the knife. ... It got cut ... on the knife."
Something like regret washes over his features. It was the first time he had hurt me unintentionally. "I-It's no big deal. ... It doesn't ... it doesn't hurt."
"Roxas." I cringe away from him, expecting his fist to crash against my cheek. "Rox ..." I calm considerably, the tension in my shoulders dissipating. "Here." He forces my hand out straight, curling back all my fingers except my index. I wince and slam my eyes shut, biting on my bottom lip to keep from whimpering. He kisses me to help me relax as he takes a Band-Aid out and wraps it around my finger. I feel like a little kid, not a twenty-year old that had just helped with a murder.
"Was that the only place I hurt you?"
I stare into his emerald eyes and I know that he regrets asking the question. His gaze shifts to the burn mark I still hold upon my cheek and he leans closer, kissing me again. I wrap my arms around his neck and allow him to carry me into our room. He lays me down softly on the bed and I feel those feather-light kisses against my lips once more, instilling some sort of hope in my chest.
The hope disappears over the next few days. I'm locked up in the bathroom once more, but now I have a new companion. I hide away from the tub where the woman - her name was Larxene, Axel told me - lays, her vacant green orbs still gaping at the ceiling. I grip a hold of Axel the moment he comes home after his shift and refuse to let go. He knows he has me beat, scared senseless that I will be the next Larxene holed up in the tub, stiff as a board, all life stabbed out of my body.
But then he begins to trust me again, leaving me to roam the apartment while he's away. None of our neighbors heard the screaming. Or maybe they had and were just too afraid of Axel to mention anything about it.
He starts beating me again a week and a half after Larxene was killed. Her body was taken from the tub and given to one of the employees that I hadn't met. He owns a farm out in the country and Larxene was just what he needed to poison the local coyotes that had been scaring his father's cattle. The excitement of the kill seems to only be a downfall for me. Soon after, Axel grips my neck until my lips are blue and he holds the knife up to my throat. But I don't protest nearly as much as the elder blonde and he just ends up punching my cheek, slamming me into the ground.
My desperation is growing. I don't know how much longer I can go on with his continual brutality. I have forgiven him for so much, but when I can barely see any longer from all the times a fist has made contact with my eye, I don't know how I could ever do it again.
I don't come running for him anymore when he gets back from work. I hide. I curl up in a ball under the bed, nothing more than a scared little child. He knows where I am but he doesn't bother to come and get me.
A few months after Larxene was killed, I hear someone other than Axel come inside our 'humble abode'. For a moment, I fear for their life. Then I fear for mine. If killing one whore from the street caused Axel to pummel me continually, what would the second hold? But this person wasn't laughing with the high-pitched, obnoxious tone. Their voice sent a chill down my spine as I heard it approaching the door to the bedroom. Who would dare be in our apartment, coming toward the bedroom that Axel had been keeping off-limits to everyone but the two of us ever since I had moved in with him?
"Oh, Roxas," the voice purrs as the wielder steps into the room.
"Forget it, man. I've let him stay under there for a while so that he can be fun to play with again." Then icy blue orbs meet mine as a blonde man goes onto his hands and knees. I yelp, scurrying away when a hand moves towards me.
"I want to see the boy again. Allow me the pleasure of at least that much, Axel. I wish to see your work on him. Come here, little Roxas." I refuse to move closer, pressing my back hard against the wall. I forget about my feet and screech when I feel someone grip a hold of my ankle. I kick out, forgetting the pain that I would be in if the owner of the hand happened to be Axel. The hand twists my ankle and I flop over onto my back, unable to move any farther. I grip a hold of the springs beneath the bed but Axel soon pulls me out.
I am tossed against the opposite wall, feeling the breath being crashed out of my lungs. I slump forward, a broken marionette. "Look at me, Roxas." I cringe, curling in on myself, but I disobey the elder. He laces his hand in my dusty locks and he pulls my face up to look at him. Letting out a yelp, I stare up at his emerald orbs, feeling tears dancing in my cerulean. I can hear Luxord laughing in the background.
"Why've you been hiding from me, Roxas?" He pulls up on my scalp at the sound of my name. I only cry harder. When I make no notion of answering him, he pulls harder. "Answer me!"
"I-I-I-I ..." because of the tears, my stuttering has gotten worse. "Y-You .. You h-h-h-urt... Y-You .. You-you're gonna ... gonna kill me. Killed Lark and n-now y-you'll k-kill me." I'm forced to my feet but I can barely stand from the combination of the few days without food, my racking sobs, and the shake of my knees from the fear of my lover ripping my head off.
A smirk curls his lip and I smell the alcohol on his breath. "You think I'm gonna kill you?" I nod as best as I can with his fingers on my head. "Aww, Roxas, I would never do such a thing." Luxord is doubled over, thumping his fists on the bed, howling with laughter. Through his gasps for breath, he manages to speak to his friend.
"Just get it over with!"
The acrid scent of alcohol moves closer and I try to worm out of my elder's grip, knowing it is useless before I start. His lips are on mine and fear runs through me. Even after everything, the contact still sends the heat spiraling around my stomach. He leans away from me and I fall to the ground when he releases my hair.
"I ain't gonna kill him, Luxord! I love 'im!" This causes more outbursts of humour from the duo, Axel gripping his best friend around the middle to lead him from the room and away from me, leaving me in peace.
I hobble over to the bed, wishing desperately to just hide beneath it again. Instead, I shuffle up into the blankets, wrapping them around myself. Axel comes in half an hour later, stripping down to his normal sleep-wear. At first he is surprised by the heat coming from the other side of the bed, but once he comprehends what it is, he moves closer, wrapping me up in his arms as though he had never hurt me.
"Hurry and get dressed." It's been over three years since I first moved in with the redhead. I haven't stepped outside of our apartment since that day. Now, almost a year since Larxene was murdered, Axel is shoving clothes my way. I follow his orders despite how badly I wish I could just stay curled up beside him for the rest of the day. He had the day off work and the two of us had been invited to a party. Axel was reluctant to allow me out of the apartment, but everyone had reassured him that they would keep a close eye on me.
"Rox." He can see how nervous I am and that worries me greatly. If he can read me so easily, how am I ever to escape his clutches? But I thought I didn't want to leave him anymore.
He moves closer to me, pulling my forehead to his chest, pressing a kiss down through my blonde spikes. "Things are going to be fine, okay? Xigbar will be there. You remember Xigbar?"
Xigbar was the one who warned me. Xigbar will just shove it in my face. I don't want to see Xigbar. I must have voiced my thoughts because Axel is chuckling softly, leaning down to gaze into my cerulean orbs. "You'll be fine. They all really want to see you."
A small smile finds its way onto his lips. "Well, we'll be at Zexion's house. Have you ever been out to the country? It's nice out there. We're having a bonfire."
I feel like a little kid. He always makes me feel like a little kid. He sees my attention drifting and he brings it back to putting my shirt on. I don't recognize the outfit he has laid out for me but I pull on the clothes without a second thought. After so long, I don't judge what Axel has to say. I just do as I'm told. He's proud of me, lifting my chin so that I look into the light hanging overhead. He calls me beautiful and kisses me deeply. I doubt his words but allow him entrance. How could anyone so broken be beautiful in anyone's eyes?
He guides me out when we're ready, leading me down the steps that I haven't seen in years. I set myself down in the passenger seat, noticing how the sun is already starting its descent. I hadn't seen the sun like that for ages. His hand is on my knee once he gets the car started and out onto the street.
"We'll have fun, right?"
"L-Loads," I lie, allowing my fingers to move up to my neck where already a collar drapes over my skin.
"Y-Yeah?" Even now, when no danger was glaring me in the face, I still feel a wave of unease.
"I've done a lot of horrible things to you, haven't I?" Is he gloating? Does he expect me to respond? "And I know that you probably hate me after all of it, don't you?" How could I ever hate him? How could he expect an answer? "But, I want you to know, even now, I still love you, Rox."
I'm sure he can feel me shaking beneath his touch and I try so hard to keep from crying. I hate him! I despise him with every fiber of my being. But at the same time, I can't help but love him. I love him for these moments, when he isn't hurting me. Where he actually seems like he could still love me for real.
"Wh-What's the p-point?"
He glances at me out of the corner of one emerald orb and I feel my stomach sink. I should have kept my mouth closed.
"What's the p-point? In t-telling me this?"
A look of confusion falls on his features. "Because I want you to know that I'm not all that bad."
"You c-could have k-killed me!" I don't want to find my backbone now. This is not the time that I planned on such a thing. I'm shaking harder. I shake so hard that the tears slip down my cheeks.
"But I never did, Rox. That's gotta count for something. It counts, right?"
I want to agree but I just can't. I want to tell him that I'm lying and I just want to go home - because that is what I feel like that dungeon is. The car slows and I begin to panic as he pulls over. He turns to me after quelling the sound of the motor.
"Rox, do you believe me when I say I love you?"
I shake my head as though some external force is controlling me. I realize what I'm doing and stop immediately. "How c-could you?"
Axel reaches forward and I cringe but relax as I feel the heat of his fingers brushing over my cheek. "Rox, I love you so much that I can't believe it. I don't know ... I don't know what happens when I hurt you, but, those times aren't me. I love you, Rox."
"You k-kidnapped me! You l-locked me away!"
"Because I didn't want you to leave me."
We sit like that for a few minutes before Axel looks down at his watch. Without another word, he turns, starting the vehicle once more, pulling back into traffic. Another ten minutes of silence pass before we pull up the driveway. I stiffen. The world outside us has grown dark while I had been daydreaming. We pull up to a large ball of natural light, fold-up chairs littered around the fire. I stay in the car until Axel circles around, his own chair in hand. He opens my door and I refuse to move.
His emerald orbs spell out danger but so does the menacing crowd of people. Even before I was locked away, I didn't like crowds. Now that so many strangers have failed me, I have no use for the group. Axel must have foreseen this act of disobedience as he clicks a leash onto my collar and he jerks me onto the ground.
"You're coming with me, kiddo, whether you want to or not." I whimper but scuttle to my feet, not needing to forfeit any dignity that I may have held. The first person I see causes me to stop in my tracks. Blonde hair sticking up in spikes, his cruel laughter spilling out into the night as we approach. Axel feels my unease and he grips my hand reassuringly. "I won't let him hurt you, Rox."
"I-I .. I just wanna ... W-Wanna g-go home."
Axel leans down close to my ear, spreading a cloud of hazy heat over my body. "We'll leave early, don't worry. But Zexion invited me and it would be impolite now that we've gotten here to just up and leave, wouldn't it?" The redhead had always had a way with words and now is no different. I force myself to calm and begin walking once more, in step behind my captor.
"Axel! I'm so glad you could make it. And this must be Roxas!" The voice comes from behind us and I jump, not realizing we were even headed behind a house until a young-looking man began approaching us. He isn't much bigger or older than I am, his hair falling down over one eye, the back being tousled as though he had just woken up. Axel flashes him a brilliant smile while he turns, wrapping his arms around me possessively.
"Isn't he adorable?" He has made sure to cover the cigarette burn on my neck with his arms, the scar on my cheek barely noticeable from age. The intruder smirks.
"Of course he is. But I do believe my darling Demyx is sweeter." The duo begin to walk once more, Axel still gripping onto me as though he believes I will dart away the first chance I get. They continue arguing in their friendly manner until we reach the circle of friends sitting around a firepit.
"Hey, everyone, congratulations. You get to meet my little Rox now. Rox, this is Zexion, Demyx, Vexen, Xemnas, Saix, and Marluxia. You've already met Luxord and Xigbar. C'mon, let's go sit." I don't bother to associate names with faces and I avoid Xigbar's gaze while he curls in closer to a pink-haired man. Axel leads me over to set up his chair beside Luxord and a second blonde with long hair and vibrant green eyes that are darting about nervously. Axel sits down, dragging me to sit at his feet, much the same as the blonde beside me.
"He's still around."
Axel flashes the evil blue-eyed man a smirk. "I told you that I love him." Luxord just rolls his eyes. I tune out all of the conversations going on around me while I shiver, watching the fire flicker, sparking when new logs are added to the broiling pit. Everyone wants to meet me but I don't pay them any mind. I am in my own world, away from the dangers of those beasts.
Xigbar doesn't venture over to me. I don't blame him. He didn't help me then and he can't help me now.
The part of the conversations that I overhear is that Zexion, Luxord, Xemnas and Xigbar all work under Axel and that the party was thrown mainly as a work get-together. It had been Demyx's idea to have each employee bring his lover, mainly because he didn't want to be the only one there that didn't actually work at the bar.
I like Demyx. He comes bouncing over happily, falling to the ground beside me, forcing me to turn and look at him. I don't bother smiling and he understands. He sees the scars that Axel tried to hide. I know he wants to help me but we both realize that there is nothing he's able to do. Instead, he just sits there beside me, staring into the fire with me. Does he know that my body sears with pain when I watch those flames licking at the wood? Does he know what it feels like to trust someone and then be tortured by them?
Axel gets up, informing us both that he is hungry and is going to get some food. He seems to trust Demyx - or maybe he knows that Luxord will stop me if I try to run away - leaving the two of us alone.
"We want to help you, Roxas."
It is the first time we have spoken since he sat down. The blonde turns to me, his aquamarine orbs shining from the firelight. He keeps his voice down, knowing that Vexen, the hound at Luxord's feet, would be able to hear us if we spoke too loudly. "Me and Zexion. And Xigbar and Marluxia. But everyone else is against us. We're all cowards, Roxas. I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do."
"I-I..." The words hitch in my throat even worse than normal and I curse the stutter that Axel has implanted into my voice. "I-I'm a c-coward too. I-I ... I wanna b-b-be free, but ... I-I'm t-trapped. I-I kn-know that ... y-you want to h-help me, b-b-but ... I know.... I know." My heart is racing and I can feel Demyx shuddering beside me. He's as frightened of Axel as I am. And the redhead is approaching us once more. He stands and my heart drops in my chest. "I know," I whisper to him one last time, showing that I do not resent them for leaving me to die. I wouldn't be able to save me either if I were them. Demyx seems to dance back over to the host, climbing into his lap and burying his head in the crook of the elder's neck.
"You seemed to have made a new friend." the voice of the redhead makes me jump as he sits down behind me. I nod slowly, hoping that I don't get the blonde into trouble. "He's a good kid." Again I nod. "It would be a shame if anything ever happened to him." Even without looking at the elder, I know that there is a smirk on his face.
"N-No. D-Don't P-p-p-please, d-d-d-don't." I'm shaking and he can feel it. But I'm trying my hardest to save the blonde that I had just befriended. He stands once more and I jump up to stop him from moving. The smirk slips from his face when he looks down at the blonde that was tugging on his arm enthusiastically.
"What's the matter, Vexen?"
The green-eyes blonde smiles widely, one eye growing larger than the other, sending a chill over my body. Looking back to the blue-eyed blonde for conformation, Vexen holds an insane tint in his eyes as he starts speaking to the redhead. I see the scars that hide beneath his shirt as well but he seems happy about them. Maybe Luxord had driven him into insanity with the treatment he has received.
"They want to help him escape from you, Axel. They wanna gang up and help him escape. But they said they were too afraid of you."
"Afraid you say?" Axel turns to me, breathing a retched cloud of alcohol-drenched breath into my face. "Why would they wanna let you leave, Roxas?" I cringe, feeling his fingers grip tightly onto my arm, pulling on me roughly. A whimper escapes me and Vexen squeals in joy.
"Make him pay! Make him pay for wanting to leave you!"
"And how should I do that, Vexen? How should I make him pay?"
It is just a game to the two, Luxord watching with a grin plastered on his lips. By this time, I can feel the others turn their attention on us. I can hear Demyx whimpering lightly, feeling as though he was the one that was causing Axel to drag me farther away from the group. Xigbar is growling in heated breaths to the one beside him and I can see the pink-haired man holding on to him, forcing him to stay seated.
"..My friend!" is all I can make out before Axel slams me against the deck, securing me there by locking the leash still around my neck onto the post holding the deck up.
"You get to pay for wanting to leave me, Roxas." His fist connects with my stomach and I lurch forward, crying out in pain. I don't glance over at the crowd, even though I wish to beg for them to help me. I don't want them to feel like it is their fault that I am being punished. I can handle the pain that he is dishing out in his drunken haze but they can't. Now I expect the blows and the pain that will lash through my body and I force the cries of agony to be kept inside. I don't want the others to suffer.
"Stop this, Axel. This is pathetic. Just leave him alone." I recognize the voice and my eyes try to focus on the black-haired man that has grabbed Axel's preparing fist. Xigbar. With Demyx, Zexion, and Marluxia gathered behind him.
"He's had enough, Axel. And so have we." Demyx moves forward and I feel myself getting dizzy. Axel's hand releases me and I fall to the ground.
"Just go sit down. Don't hurt him anymore." Marluxia joins his lover, putting an arm around Axel to guide him away from me. Zexion kneels down in front of me, gently moving my chin up so that he can see the extent of the damage.
"Demyx, help me get him inside, would you?" Demyx nods but Axel struggles out of the hold that he is in, turning around and screaming at the duo that are maneuvering to pull me up.
"Get your hand off of him! He deserves everything he got! Move him and I'll beat the shit out of you too! Do what you want to him, but he's not leaving that spot!"
I force my gaze on the two that had stopped lifting me, a timid smile being coaxed onto my lips. "I-I ... I-I'll b-b-b-b-be ... o-okay. L-Leave me ... h-here." Demyx looks unsure but Zexion nods, releasing me slowly, his hand going to rest on his lover's shoulder.
"I'll go get you some ice, okay, Roxas?" I blink heavily, too weak to nod or speak. He understands, however, turning his attention to the blonde that is still beside me. "You stay here, alright, Dem. Make sure that Axel doesn't come back to finish the job." It is Demyx's turn to nod and he sits beside me, glaring at the redhead that had been forced back to sit by the fire. His fingers brush away the messy spikes that are plastered to my forehead with sweat and a few tears.
"I'm sorry, Roxas. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have ... I should have just ... I-I ... I'm sorry." Demyx is crying, trying to clean me up as best as he can. I try to lean into him but get caught up when my leash snaps me up. He notices this, releasing me, even though it could cause him the same pain that I am in. He pulls me into a hug, repeating the fact that he was sorry over and over. Even when Zexion comes back with the ice and things to clean me up with, Demyx refuses to let me go.
I fall asleep despite my pain, adoring the feeling of heat that belongs to more than a monster or the fire.
I am shaken awake an hour later, Axel gripping my shoulder. The rage he had attacked me with seems to have left him and now he just looks tired and drunk. He doesn't even seem to realize that I am still wrapped in the blonde's arms. "C'mon, kiddo. It's time to go home." I hold tightly onto the blonde for a moment, waking him by mistake. He jumps at being faced with the redhead and I can feel him begin to quiver. I slip out of his arms, biting my swollen lip.
"Th-Thanks, Demyx. Thanks for e-everything."
"I'll be okay. P-promise."
Demyx watches in fear as Axel grips my hand, using me to lead him back to the car. Zexion, Demyx, Xigbar, and Marluxia seem reluctant to let me leave with the redhead, but they hold their tongues, knowing that if they tried to save me, it would just cause us all more pain. We're alone and Axel grips me tightly. I want to run away, even though the fire still rolls through me.
"Can you drive us?" He sounds so small, so defeated, and so innocent that something in my chest melts. My answer is moving to the passenger's side, opening the door for him before helping him inside. I move around to the other side, getting in and buckling myself in. "I-I'm sorry, Rox."
"F-for what?" I want to know what he is truly sorry for, whether it was for the way he acted in front of his friends, for hurting me, for scaring us all, for being drunk, or for making me drive even though I had only driven three other times in my life. I start the car, moving down the driveway slowly. I would be okay once we made it out on the road, but for now I just need to take my time.
"For everything. I'm a prick. I don't blame you for wanting to leave me."
"Am I ... allowed to?" Neither of us realizes that I didn't exactly stutter. Emerald orbs shoot up to wash over my face and my fingers tighten on the steering wheel. He looks so pathetic as his eyes begin to tear up.
"I thought you ... I thought you loved me."
"I ..." I start, faltering. Do I? Do I love him? He makes my whole body tingle and my heart races when he is around. "I do. I do love you. At least ... At least I used to. Now what I feel ... This feeling ... This isn't love. And you don't love me, either. You torture me, abuse me, and use me. I can't ... I can't stay with you anymore." Again, I don't stutter. But again, I don't notice. I'm too concentrated on the road and the words to notice the details.
"Well, you can't." Axel sits back, no longer looking my way. "You can't leave. You're all mine. Marked you up so you're mine. All mine. You belong to me. Got it memorized?"
Fear, anger, and hurt washes over me. It is true. He has marked me as his own so I belong to no one but him. He can do with me what he pleases. "That's not love. You don't do that to the person you love."
We sit in silence for a moment before a scary idea comes into my head. He can't own me when I'm dead. "What if I killed myself?" I had fought for the past three years to keep my life. Was I really so willing to just toss it all away?
"I thought you were stronger than that. You've fought so hard."
"I don't want anyone else to feel how I've felt."
Axel glances at me as the words register in his drunken mind. "What do you mean?"
"I'm going to make sure that you can't hurt anyone else."
"What are you planning, Rox?"
Before the redhead can even finish his question, I force the wheel around in a circle, cutting the wheels to take us off the road. I step on the gas pedal, guiding the car straight into a large pole that begins to wobble from the impact. I feel only a little pain before it is emptiness. Axel is screaming at me and the poll begins to topple, coming down, wires and all, to crash onto the car that the redhead is trapped in. Still he screams bloody murder, both from the pain of the wreck and at the loss of me. His hand stretches out, under the bent-in roof of the car, grabbing my hand off of the steering-wheel. He can see it painted red with blood and he screams even louder.
There's a house just down the road and they call the ambulance when they see the damage done. A man comes running, seeing if he can do anything about the redhead pinned in his seat. Pain is rocking through him from the metal scraps that are pressing into his body. They are the only things keeping him alive at the moment.
"Roxas! Roxas, no! Roxas! Don't be dead! Don't be dead! Roxas, answer me! Don't be dead!" is all he can screech as the man tries to find out if there is anything he can do. He moves around to the other side of the car, avoiding the electrical wires that are draped around the downed pole.
"Sir? Are you okay? Yo, blondie." He reaches in through the shattered window and presses his fingers to my throat, checking for a pulse. None meets him. He stumbles back, running back to his house to wait for the ambulance.
Axel is only sobbing when the sirens approach. A crew jumps out, pulling at the wreckage around the redhead. One man cries out when he shifts the metal that has lodged itself into Axels side, causing crimson blood to splatter over the would-be savior.
"Man, I don't think that there's anything we can even do! The only thing keeping him alive is the metal!"
Another moves forward, leaning over to ask Axel what had happened. "I'm sorry, Rox. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't. Now you're gone. I killed you. You killed me. But I killed you!" The redhead begins to thrash, crying out again when the metal tears at him farther. The paramedics attempt to calm him down but there is no saving him. He may be pinned in the wreckage but he can move just enough to slide farther away from safety, closer to my corpse. He's panting when he finally is able to see my blood-drenched face. He reaches out, closing my wide-open cerulean orbs. "I'm so sorry, Rox. But I'm really tired now. I'm gonna go ... to sleep now. And when I wake up, you'll be up too and we can talk. And I can ... say I'm sorry ... and you'll forgive me. ... You always do. You ... Rox, I love you. I love you so much." He doesn't realize I can't hear him anymore as he is taken over by the loss of blood.
You shouldn't have trusted me, Axe. We may have loved each other, but we obviously didn't know how to show it. I just couldn't take it anymore. And having those four help me out helped me to get stronger.
Zexion took over the bar when you died. He and Demyx cleaned it up a bit and made it into a dance-club. Xigbar still works there but Luxord and Xemnas quit, afraid that I would come back to haunt them for not saving me. They didn't even go to our funeral. Demyx took care of everything and Xigbar called my mom. Of course she was devastated that her only son was the one that had been in that horrible accident she had seen on the news, but they promised to keep in touch. She was just happy that she didn't have to wonder where I was anymore.
I was a fool to trust you in the beginning but you were the fool that trusted me in the end.
What we had wasn't love. I depended on you after you locked me away and you only used me. I realize it all now. I don't regret my decision to destroy you.
Wow, long. But you made it. Congratulations. :D Tell me what you thought?