Disclaimer: Don't own.
In Venere Veritas
"Have no fear
There are wounds that are not meant to heal
And they sing, in venere veritas
Let the bother you alive
And sing, baby sing
There are wounds that are not meant to heal at all
In venere veritas
Let's fall apart together now
There's a motive to our sadness as we drag the mirrored ball and chain
Through the twilight again
Dressed up in shame"
-H.I.M.- "In Venere Veritas"
I stepped out the backdoor of the Denali's house. Stopping for just a minute to admire the sprawling Alaskan landscape before me. It was so beautiful that it almost helped dull the pain of the vision that sprang into my head at that moment. I just barely was able to block my thoughts before Edward caught it.
He and Jasper had been having a secret relationship for months now. I'd had the visions, of course, but never said a word about it. It was painful and humiliating to admit that your husband was cheating on you with a man. Add to that fact, the man he was cheating on me with was a man I considered my brother.
I sighed and took off across the backyard. I like Alaska well enough, but I didn't want to leave our former home: Forks, Washington. Edward had left his old girlfriend, Bella Swan there. It tore my heart open to leave her there; I'd loved Bella just as Edward had.
In all honesty, I'd begun to resent Edward as of late. Not only had he forced our family to leave Forks just because he wanted to protect Bella, but now he was taking Jasper from me. Twice now, he's taken love from my life.
I know it's not all Edward's fault, though. Jasper has a choice in their relationship, too. Edward had initiated the relationship, my visions had shown me that. It still hurt to have the visions that every time I left the house, my brother and my husband fucked in my bed I shared with Jasper.
My Jasper had changed so much to be with me. I'd helped him in so many ways. He told me that I was the most important thing to him, that when we met was the first time he'd ever felt hope for a better life. He said he loved me more than anything, and as an empath, Jasper knew about love.
It all meant nothing now. Jasper was frolicking around with Edward in our bedroom, in our bed. Jazz saying words he swore were only meant for me, giving Edward looks that were only meant for my eyes to see, touching him in ways that were only meant for my skin to feel.
I stopped running abruptly and dropped to my knees. I began to sob, but I didn't cry. My tears were forever frozen in my eyes when I became a vampire. My body shook with the intensity of my hurt from Jasper's betrayal.
Hadn't I been good enough for him? Hadn't I promised that he would always be safe with me? I would always help him control his bloodlust, I'd promised him. He'd never hurt an innocent person again, I'd promised him. After all the things he'd done in his life during the vampire wars, I forgave him. All the killing and pain he'd caused, I'd forgiven him, just as Bella had accepted Edward, flaws and all.
Bella didn't care about the things Edward had done in the past. Everything that Edward and Jasper had done in the past made them who they are today. Now after everything they'd gone through, they are capable of seeing the good in them. Bella had known the good in Edward, just as I know the good in Jasper. What had Bella and I done to deserve to lose our loves this way?
My sadness and hurt suddenly turned to a blazing anger. I'd done everything for Jasper. I saved him, I helped him change his old ways. He was good because of me.
This is the way I was repaid? I picked up a rock at me feet and hurled it into the sky. It went far out of my sight, seemingly reaching the sun. I know that even as a vampire, I can't hurl a small object to the sun.
I jumped up and did a Chuck Norris style roundhouse kick to the nearest tree. The tree shook from the impact of my kick. Leaves floated to the ground from the branches above. I leaned against the tree and closed my eyes.
I slowly counted to ten.
Maybe this isn't so bad. If Jasper is happy with Edward, shouldn't I be happy, just because he is happy?
Well, that's just ridiculous. If Jasper being happy, means my being hurt, betrayed and lonely, there's no way I could be happy for him.
Of course, with Jasper being an empath, he would be able to control my feelings, until I was out of the house and away from him.
Would I be able to find someone else to make me happy like Jasper had? Jasper had been my world, still is my world, only now my world is falling apart.
I can heal from this. I don't need a man in my life to make me happy. Granted Jasper had been in my life eighty-something years. He was all I knew. Rage bubbled up again. Maybe I should keep counting. I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes tight.
*Bella Swan stood high up on a cliff overlooking a black, choppy ocean. The sky was as dark as the water. Rain pelted her in the face. She looked up to the sky and mumbled some words, she seemed to be talking to someone.
"Edward," she said.
She leaped off the cliff, plunging deep into the dark water. She went under, but then there was a flash of red on the water. Then Victoria pulled Bella out of the water.
Victoria dropped Bella on the shore and said, "I don't want you to die before I've had my fun." She raised her hand and a tall, handsome brunette boy appeared. He took Bella into his arms and they raced into the woods.
They soon reached a little cabin, when Bella began to stir. Victoria looked at her with eyes as cold as death. She reached out and took Bella by the neck, lifting the weak human easily in the air. With a small movement, she slightly closed her hand.
Her nails cut into Bella's thin, pale skin. Blood trailed from her neck and onto Victoria's fingers. Bella sobbed and Victoria dropped her to the wet ground.*
That was all I needed to see. I shook myself out of the vision, my breath came in short, panicked gasps. "Bella," I said aloud and ran as fast as I could back to the Denali's house, Jasper's betrayal temporarily forgotten.
I played the vision in my head, hoping that Edward would see it and meet me before I got to the house, but when the house was in my sight, he wasn't.
I ran faster than I ever had before. The wind tore at my clothes as I ran toward the house. My feet hit the ground in pretty loud footsteps for a vampire. Fresh snow from this morning crunched under my feet.
The house grew bigger as I got closer to it. Edward still hadn't seen my vision. Pain stung my chest as I faintly heard Jasper whisper Edward's name. My steps faltered a little.
I could hear the moans from Edward and Jasper even outside. I bit my lip, wondering if I could really handle facing them. The vision of Bella pushed itself to the front of my brain again. Hesitant as I was to face Edward and Jasper, I knew Bella needed me.
My hand wrapped around the doorknob and I entered the house. Jasper and Edward were still unaware of my presence. That hurt almost more than knowing they were betraying me and lying to me every single day. Jasper and I used to be so connected, so on the same level. I could feel his presence around me even when he was miles away hunting in the mountains. Now he can't even feel me when I entered the house. It hurt, and it pissed me off.
Biting my lip in an attempt to control my rage, I called out to the rest of my family. "Rose, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle!" I purposely left out Jasper and Edward's names, because I simply couldn't say them without feeling the urge to rip them a new hole to stick their dicks in.
I felt them freeze above me, before they quickly dressed to come downstairs. Edward and Jasper came down the stairs with guilty looks in their eyes, but neither could find the strength to look me directly in the eyes. I turned my gaze to the rest of the family and quickly related my vision to them.
To my surprise, Rosalie stepped forward, "We have to go to her."
Carlisle nodded solemnly, "Alice, when did this vision take place?"
I thought hard. "It was dark, but that could have just been because of the storm."
Carlisle eyed me. "We can't think like that, Alice."
"I'll go on ahead," I told them. "In case the vision changes."
Carlisle nodded to me. I turned to walk out the door, but stopped short and turned back to face my brother and husband. I looked into their faces, since neither would meet my eyes.
"You have both betrayed me and hurt me in a way I could never imagine. Once we know that Bella is safe, I want to talk to you both about why you felt the need to hide this from me. I'm going now." I turned then and ran out the door. I could make it to Forks in just a few hours if I ran straight there. I prayed a few hours would be enough to save Bella's life.
Jacob Black ran through the woods behind Bella Swan's house. He could hear her in her bedroom, listening to music. He stopped just inside the trees to phase back into his human form. His bones reshaping themselves, limbs reforming, his muscles rippling as he went from wolf to man. He slipped on his shorts and began trudging across her backyard.
Rain spilled from the sky and onto Jacob's half naked body. He shook his head to get the rain from his eyes as he approached the tree outside Bella's window. He sometimes stayed the night with her to protect her. Victoria was still out there and he wasn't about to leave his best friend unprotected.
Best friend. That's all he was to her. She meant so much more to him, but Bella only thought of him as a friend. What really hurt Jacob was that Bella had been in love with Edward Cullen, a vampire. A fucking bloodsucker had been good enough for her, but not Jacob Black.
He was still human, right? He thought as he leaned his forehead against the tree, letting the rain run down his body. He would be soaked by the time he got up to Bella's room. Jacob dispelled the thoughts from his head and swiftly climbed up the tree and tapped on her window.
Jake could hear her climb off the bed and pad over to the window. Her beautiful body came into his view as the blinds went up. He sighed internally as he imagined what it would be like to touch her soft, creamy skin.
She slid the window open and leaned out, Jacob's eyes temporarily caught on her cleavage.
"Charlie's downstairs," she whispered. Charlie had been working the night shift lately, so Jacob could slip out just before he got home.
"Do you want to go for a walk, then?" Jacob asked. The rain had lightened to a drizzle.
Bella looked up to the sky and said, "Okay." She closed the blinds so she could get dressed. A few minutes later she appeared in a pair of jeans and a hoodie.
Jacob helped her out the window and down the tree to the ground. Jacob laced his fingers through hers and led her into the woods.
They walked in silence for a few minutes in silence, listening to the rain fall around them. Bella had been thinking about Jacob more and more lately. He was just her friend, but even she couldn't deny the face that the man was hot. Really hot. And not that much younger than her. He liked her enough already, she knew.
Jacob stopped and sat down on a log, Bella took a seat next to him. Her pants were damp from walking in the rain, now they were soaked because the log was wet.
Jacob's mind went back to a few nights ago when he had come to see Bella. He peeked in through her window and caught her in her black silk bra and black lace panties. He had to go into the woods for a little bit after seeing that image of her. She was beautiful and flawless. Her stomach flat, her breasts full, her legs long and toned. Jacob wanted her.
"How did you sleep last night?" He asked her, trying to push away the thoughts of her. It was too late, his dick was hard.
"Alright, I guess," she answered. She shrugged her shoulders when she answered, drawing Jacob's attention to her breasts. He looked away, even though she couldn't see him in the dark.
That had been the wrong question to ask her. Thinking of her sleeping, Jacob pictured her in the boy shorts and tank top she slept in, the shorts and tank that clung to her every curve. His pants were ridiculously tight now.
"How did you sleep? Have any interesting dreams?" She asked with a trace of teasing in her voice.
"Only about you," Jacob said without thinking.
"What?" She asked.
Regretting his words he tried to cover it. "Um, nothing."
"You dreamt about me?" Bella asked softly.
"Well, yeah," he answered honestly.
"What was the dream about?" She asked, genuinely curious.
"Well, just you and I. We went on a date," he told her.
No, he thought. "Yes," he said.
"Nothing," Bella said, "I just thought we'd do more than that."
Jacob looked at her. "What do you mean?"
Bella turned her face to him. "Well, you're really hot, I have a hard time believing that's all that we'd do," her voice dropped to a breathy whisper.
Jacob closed the distance between them and slammed his mouth against hers, then deepened the kiss by sliding his tongue into her mouth. Bella loved the warmth he gave off, but that was all she loved. Kissing Jacob felt wrong, his hands sliding up her shirt felt wrong, her name on his lips felt wrong.
An image of Alice Cullen popped into her head. Alice? Bella thought as Jacob's hands knotted themselves into her hair. Why the hell am I thinking about Alice?
Cause you miss her, her subconscious said. That's true, Bella thought. I miss her like hell, but the best way to forget about someone is to move on with a very willing young werewolf, she thought, smiling into the kiss with Jacob. Move on from Alice? That didn't make sense, she was never with Alice, why would she need to move on from her.
Stop talking to me, Bella told her subconscious.
Jacob pulled her shirt up over her head and moved his lips to her neck. Bella tried to ignore the feeling in her stomach that it was wrong to do this, instead focusing on the wetness between her legs that wasn't from the rain.
Jacob ripped her bra off, her pants and panties followed next. Jacob's pants were still on so Bella grinded against him.
"Off," she demanded into his mouth. Jacob wasted no time pulling his pants off. He slipped a hand between them to tease Bella's clit, sliding two fingers inside of her.
Bella gasped and arched her back. See, she thought, I don't need Alice. Edward! I don't need Edward. Jacob removed his fingers and slid his member into Bella's entrance.
Bella cried his name. The sky opened up at that moment, pouring rain down on them from the heavens. Bella was on her back in a mud puddle, Jacob on top of her thrusting. His hands were covered in mud, too. He ran his hand from Bella's waist to her breasts, leaving a trail of mud.
Jacob was an adequate lover, Bella decided. Though he wasn't quite hitting her spot. She pushed him so that he was on his back and she was on top of him. Bella moved on top of him in her own rhythm. Jacob's hands were firmly planted, one on her waist and one on her breast. They moaned and moved together, muddy and rain pouring over their bodies. They came together, a clap of thunder boomed in the sky overhead. Bella lowered herself so she was lying next to Jacob in the mud.
Their breathing heavy, trying to calm down together. That was fun, Bella thought. Would have been more fun if it were Alice, she thought. Tears stung her eyes briefly before she blinked them away. She was never going to see Alice again and she needed to accept that sooner or later.
"I need to go shower," she told Jacob. That was part of the truth; she was wet and muddy. She was also tired, lonely, missing Alice and had just given her virginity to her seventeen year-old best friend. That was practically illegal, she should know, her father was police chief after all.
"Okay," Jacob answered, standing up. He helped her to her feet and dress as best she could. Jacob walked her back to her house. There was some awkwardness between them. "I'll see you tomorrow," Jacob told her.
"Okay," she answered. Once inside, Bella ran to her bathroom to avoid Charlie and showered. She would have to see Jacob tomorrow, had she just made the biggest mistake of her life tonight?
Somewhere between Forks and Alaska
Alice tore through the trees, moving faster than she ever had before. Her vision of Bella happened in the morning. Would she make it there in time? She wished.
Suddenly, she had a vision of Bella in her bathroom. She was muddy, her hair clinging to her face and neck. She looked terrible, like she'd just been running through the woods. She sat on the edge of her bathtub and cried.
Alice bit her lip and ran faster. I'm coming, Bella, she promised.
Jacob Black was sleeping soundly in his bed at seven o'clock on a Saturday morning. It would be a normal Saturday for Jacob; after patrolling almost the whole day yesterday with Paul and Embry, he got to sleep at night for once. Jacob would sleep until around eight. He'd spend the rest of the day with Bella Swan.
As most of us know, plans fall through, as Jacob's did that morning. A powerful, commanding howl ripped through the silent morning air. Jacob jolted from his deep sleep and jumped from the bed immediately. It was Sam's howl; the Alpha of the pack was calling them, and Jacob must answer his howl.
Jacob scrambled out the door and ran into the woods, stripping his clothes as he ran. Jacob seemed to be a natural at shifting into a wolf, and he did so now quite easily.
Once in wolf form, the panicked thoughts of his brothers filled his head. Victoria, the redheaded leech deadest on the demise of Bella Swan, had surprised Jared and Quil. Jacob could see in Sam's head that they were badly hurt. Sam was hurt as well, badly.
Paul, Embry and Jacob ran to their brothers as quickly as they could, but Victoria had a companion with her. With vengeance in her eyes as cold as death, she attacked the boys again. Though shape-shifters are designed to be vampire killers, to be protectors of the people against the immortal bloodsuckers, there was nothing to be done about Victoria and the male.
They had ambushed Jared and Quil, when Sam showed up to help he was easily dealt with. Paul, Jacob and Embry were fighting a losing battle.
With all the wolves of La Push dead or dying, Bella Swan was unprotected in a vulnerable spot.
Those are the only three emotions I felt these days. They all were because of one man, or vampire, Edward Cullen. I had lost him; he left me alone in the woods. Now I was always in a state of despair.
Since I've been hanging out with Jacob Black, the pain has lessened, the despair is dulling and the loss isn't so great. He truly fills a space in my chest that was my heart. Edward took my heart with him when he left. Last night, Jacob had given me a whole lot of good feelings out in the woods behind my house. He took my virginity, and although it hadn't felt quite right, it was fun.
Fun. That was what Jacob was. Unlike Edward, who was boring and evil. He ripped my heart right out of my fucking chest, and left me there all alone! I thought angrily as I drove toward La Push. My hands tightened on the wheel, so I took a few deep breaths to help me calm down.
One of the last things Edward said to me before he left was, "don't do anything stupid". What the hell is that supposed to mean? What exactly does one qualify as stupid, I wonder.
Stupid could mean failing grades and dropping out of school, which I most certainly did not do. Stupid could mean riding my motorcycle with Jake, but maybe that was just by Edward's opinion. I didn't think it was stupid, I thought it was fun. And if he didn't like it, well then Edward Cullen can just kiss my pale white ass!
Actually, I'd really like it if Edward did kiss my ass….. My thoughts trailed off to a happy naughty place. I shook my head to rid my brain of those thoughts. This was no the time to be thinking these types of thoughts. Jake would know. I shuddered. This is what I get for hanging out with supernatural creatures.
Can't do anything without them knowing it. If you're stomach growls, they hear it loud and clear. If you call them a dirty name under your breath, they hear it. If you try to fart quietly, they hear it. Even if it's silent to the human ears, those wolves hear it. It's pretty annoying.
I giggled as I pulled into Jake's driveway. How did my thoughts go from hating Edward, to lusting after Edward, to being mad I couldn't fart around the pack? Geez, I'm messed up today.
Normally Jake would hear my truck coming and he would run out to meet me, but today he didn't. Maybe he was still sleeping, I thought. Or maybe he feels as awkward about last night as I do. When you fuck your best friend in a mud puddle in the woods, things tend to get awkward, Bella, I told myself. I put my keys into my pocket and went to the front door.
Billy opened it after I'd rapped on the door three times. He smiled at me a little, "Hi there, Bella. Jake's not here, Sam howled for him a little bit ago and he hasn't come in yet. You're welcome to wait here for him." He moved back a little to invite me in, but I shook my head.
"No, that's okay. He was supposed to take me cliff diving, so I'll just go wait for him at the beach. When he comes in, tell him that's where I'm at," I said to Billy, smiling as I turned back to walk to my truck.
"Sure thing, Bells," Billy said behind me. I heard the door shut behind him. I paused beside my truck having an internal debate. Walking to the beach would be so much faster, and I'd save gas.
I glanced up to the sky, it was showing signs of rain. Wow, what a surprise, we don't get enough rain here anyway, I though sarcastically.
Walking to the beach, I glanced around the woods that surrounded me, looking for any signs of Jake. When I reached First Beach, I sat down on a piece of driftwood that Jake and I called our own.
I picked up a twig and drew some pictures in the sand. One was of a woman and a child. I wasn't sure who I meant them to be, but I knew the dress I drew on the woman would make Alice cringe.
If Alice were here she would probably erase my doodle and demand that I never try to design clothes again. I sighed.
There were those thoughts about Alice again. Couldn't I do anything without thinking of her? Every time I get dressed, I think of what she'd say about it. Last night when I was bumping uglies with Jake, I thought of Alice.
What could I do, though? I missed her. Even more than I missed Edward, I missed Alice. Her flamboyant personality clashed with my shy, reserved one, but she was my best friend and I wouldn't trade her for the world.
She was truly my opposite. I was partial to jeans, t-shirts and tennis shoes, maybe the occasional ballet slipper. Alice preferred designer clothes and heels. She never stopped being bouncy; she was energetic to say the least. Sometimes annoying, but she always meant well.
I looked up at the sky, it was as dark as the ocean before me, but the water was calm. Looking around again, I looked for any sign of Jake, but there was none. Well, I didn't get up early and drive all the way down here to do nothing. I was going cliff diving, with or without Jake.
Sometime during the fifteen minutes it took me to walk from the beach to the top of the cliff, the weather changed enormously. The sky was even darker, rain threatening to spill from the dark clouds at any moment. I inched toward the edge of the cliff and peered over.
The black water beneath me was rough and choppy now, hitting the rocks and the beach with an angry force. Thinking this wasn't such a good idea without Jake, I started to back away.
I hadn't heard Edward's voice in my head for a few weeks now. So when he spoke then, it scared me enough to make me turn around to see if he was actually behind me.
This isn't a good idea, Bella, he said.
After checking all around me, I was sure he wasn't there. I answered him in my head. Gee Edward, tell me something I don't know. I rolled my eyes. I looked over the edge again, the water was terrifying, even from this distance.
Don't do this Bella, Edward's voice told me.
I wasn't going to, Edward! Get out of my head, I told him.
Bella, think about Charlie, Edward's voice said to me. I sighed. Maybe since I haven't heard him in a few weeks he's broken or something. No matter what I'm doing he'll tell me not to.
Bella, you know better than this, he told me, angry now.
My pride bubbled up inside me. Well, just because you told me not to, I'm going to. I felt the urge to stick out my tongue, but that would be pointless seeing as how Edward isn't here in any form.
His voice said something else, but it was drowned out by my heart pounding in my ears as I edged toward the cliff and peered over. Oh dear, I thought. Edward gave me another warning not to jump.
I tilted my face to the sky. "Shut up, Edward." I said aloud, and then I jumped into the dark abyss.
Even as I was falling, I was yelling at myself. What an idiot I am to jump into this water. As I fell closer to it, the water seemed to open up, ready to swallow me whole. I screamed without realizing that I had.
After that, it was all a blur. I was tossed around by the water that had indeed swallowed me up. I hit the rocks a few times, was pulled underwater only to resurface with a mouth full of water.
I fought and struggled to just stay above the water. When I tried to look around for the shore, saltwater burned my eyes, hindering my vision. Though I knew no one was around, I screamed for help. Not to my surprise, no one came.
Then, much to my surprise, a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me from the water that was so determined to pull me out to sea. I was laid down on the sand. A pair of lips came down on mine and began to perform CPR.
Did I need CPR? I didn't know. Does saltwater affect your brain? Probably not, but lack of oxygen does, Bella! Oxygen? I don't need oxygen. I can hear just fine.
"Oh god, she's speaking gibberish!" A panicked voice said.
My heart skipped a beat. Oh my god, I've found a way to project my voice outside my body. Maybe I can create a person to live my life for me. That way all I would ever have to do is program the little robot to speak for me and I could retire to my island in New Zealand and eat coconuts for brunch. Coconuts and mongoloids. Yep, that's all I need. Wait, mongoloids?
"Bella, mongoloids are a racial group in East and Southeast Asia. Are you feeling okay?" The voice from before asked.
Yes, Bella Two-point-Oh, I am just fine. Since you seem to be so smart, tell me, who invented the electric carving knife?! I demanded of my strange counterpart. I heard some chuckles around me. Was I those voices too?
"Jerome Murray," said another voice. This voice chilled me to my bones. I knew that voice as the voice who soothed me for so many months. The voice that had spoke to me in my head on this very day. It was Edward. I would know his voice anywhere.
Suddenly, I realized that I actually didn't have the ability to project myself to other parts of the room. I opened my eyes slowly, to my horror, the entire Cullen family was gathered around me. I realized now that it had been Rosalie who explained what mongoloids were. Rosalie actually cared about me? That's news to me.
My eyes scanned the faces of the vampires I once thought of as my family. Carlisle was watching me carefully, Esme next to him watching me just as closely. Emmett smiled at me from next to Rosalie, who actually did look worried about me. Jasper stood behind Edward, keeping his distance from me just like before. I noticed Alice was missing from the group.
"Where's Alice?" I asked, avoiding Edward's probing gaze.
Carlisle answered, "She's downstairs with Charlie."
I nodded, feeling a little pang of sadness that she wasn't here when I woke up. Looking around, I realized I was in my bedroom. "What are you guys doing back?" I asked, somewhat dumbly.
"Alice had a vision of you, and we had to come back to help you," Carlisle said, but I had a feeling he was editing.
"Where's Jake?" I asked finally. Even though Jake was a werewolf and the Cullen's were vampires, who shared a mutual hatred for each other, Jake would put that aside to come visit me wouldn't he?
"Bells?" Charlie said from the door. I turned to look at him. He came into the room and sat down next to me on the bed. Alice trailed behind him and sat down at my feet. My heart lifted from her entering the room. I couldn't understand the happiness I got from her being here.
"I have some news for you," Charlie said. Looking up at him, I noticed for the first time that his eyes were red and puffy. I immediately went on alert.
"Dad, what's wrong?" I asked him, sitting up so I could look him in the eyes.
At that moment, my dad looked up into my eyes and delivered the devastating news. Jacob, my sun was dead.
After getting over the initial shock that Jake had died, I asked Charlie how. He told me that Sam had taken Jared, Embry, Paul, Quil and Jacob to Seattle to celebrate his engagement to Emily Young. On their way back, a guy ran a red light and hit them at an intersection. They were all dead.
I saw a look in Alice's eyes that this wasn't the real story, only the cover story that they would tell the rest of La Push. Charlie and the Cullens left me alone to think for a while. Downstairs, I could hear Charlie talking with Carlisle and I could only imagine the looks he was giving Edward.
Alice tapped on my door after a few hours. Her face was sympathetic as she sat on the bed next to me. She answered my unspoken question, "Victoria and another vampire ambushed them and killed them all. I didn't know about them until we found them in the woods. Emmett and Jasper handled Victoria and the other one. There was nothing Carlisle could do; I want you to know that," she said quietly.
"I know." I said in a dead voice. Alice's presence was comfortingly familiar to me. I truly relaxed for the first time in months. Soon, I fell into a deep sleep.
When I woke up, Alice was still next to me. "Hey," she whispered. "How are you feeling?"
I shrugged in the darkness, knowing full well she could see me. Breaking the silence between us, I asked, "What time is it?"
"Just after midnight," Alice answered. She was quiet for a long minute. "Are you sure you're okay? I know so much has happened today."
I nodded. "Yeah, I'm just, you know, shocked. I can't believe Jake is really gone." Tears started to prick my eyes. Before when I started to cry, Edward always pulled me into his lap and let me cry. I half expected Alice to do the same. I know as well as anyone that Alice is not Edward. When I started to cry, Alice told me some silly story to get me to laugh.
She finished telling about Emmett ruining Rosalie's favorite pair of shoes and the revenge she exacted.
Alice laughed. "We were watching some fashion show that Rosalie was into. She kept saying thins would look 'so good' on her." She did a funny head motion that reminded me a little of Rosalie.
"While Rose was hunting with Esme and Tanya, Emmett decided that anything Rosalie wore could look equally as good on him, so he tried on her favorite pair of pink pumps. You know the pink ones with the diamonds on the straps?" I nodded.
Alice continued, "It was all going well until he tried to walk down the stairs. His weight combined with his inability to walk in heels, it went very wrong. He broke the hells off of both shoes. Rosalie came in and found him sitting in the stairs trying to glue the heels back on!" She broke into giggles at the end.
I could just picture Emmett's apelike frame sitting on the stairs looking like a confused little boy trying to fix Rosalie's favorite shoes. We were both laughing hard, but trying to be quiet since Charlie was asleep.
Then I asked, "So what did Rosalie do to get back at him?" Cue another round of giggles from Alice.
"Well, you know Rosalie never does anything in small amounts. So first, she didn't have sex with him for about two weeks. Then when she finally did, Emmett was walking around like he was forgiven. She wanted him to think that, so that every time he would go out hunting she would play Call of Duty like a madwoman. One day when Emmett was playing, she was picking at him so he challenged her to it. She refused at first and then finally agreed. She totally kicked his ass. Emmett still hasn't forgiven her for that!"
I put my hand over my mouth to muffle the giggles. Alice buried her face in my shoulder to muffle her laughter. When we calmed down, I asked her, "Why aren't you with Jasper?"
Pain shot through Alice's eyes and I regretted my words. At the same time, I was curious why Jasper's name would garner such a negative reaction from her; normally she lit up when Jasper was mentioned.
I didn't need Jasper's empathy or Edward's telepathy to tell me that something was wrong with Alice. I sat up and took her hand, "Alice, what's wrong?"
She sighed and looked up at me with eyes so sad I wanted to cry again. "After we moved to Alaska, Jasper started cheating on me." I gasped, thinking that was the worst of it, then she finished, "With Edward."
"No!" I exclaimed.
She nodded. "I saw the visions myself, I confronted them and they didn't even try to deny it. I've all but caught them in the act.
I sat in stunned silence. Jasper and Alice had shared a love that I once envied. I used to think that someday Edward and I could be like them. Now it didn't matter. My shock turned to anger.
"How dare they do this!" I almost yelled.
"Bella, keep your voice down, Charlie is sleeping," Alice warned.
"I don't care! Edward left me in the woods alone to 'protect' me," I made air quotes when I said 'protect', "Then he takes off to Alaska to be with Jasper right in front of you!" I was angry, shocked, hurt and betrayed all over again.
Alice was uncharacteristically quiet. "I know, Bella. There's nothing I can do, though. I've thought about it long and hard and as long as they're happy, then I can be happy for them." I could see in her eyes that she didn't mean it. Her eyes held nothing but contempt for them; I believed at that moment that Alice was no longer in love with Jasper.
I asked, "What about you though? You deserve happiness, too."
She smiled. "I experienced a lifetime of happiness with Jasper. Maybe that's all I deserve," she said cryptically.
I groaned. "Fuck Alice, when did you get all broody? You sound like Edward," I complained. She laughed.
We looked at each other then, our eyes connecting in a way they never had before. Without thinking I said, "Alice, I could give you happiness."
There was a strange intensity between us that I hadn't noticed before. It crackled in the darkness between us. Pale light from the moon streamed in through the window, spilling onto Alice's flawless face. The moonlight touched her eyes, making the gold stand out against her pale skin. It was an ethereal sight.
Her smoldering eyes bore into mine. "Prove it." I saw the challenge in her eyes mixing with the longing for love. She wanted this as much as I did, but she didn't want to push me. I only moved forward half of an inch before Alice's mouth was on mine. Her cold lips parted mine and her tongue slipped inside, exploring every inch of my mouth.
Our bodies rubbed against each other, causing a friction between us. She moved her hands under my shirt before ripping it off my body. She murmured a promise to buy me a new one, but I couldn't care less at this moment. Her agile fingers unsnapped my bra and discarded it.
Alice's shirt came off, then as well. We worked quickly to remove our pants. Alice had been hovering over me while we kissed, but now I wanted to be on top of her. I put my hands on her shoulders, indicating her to lie back, since I wasn't strong enough to push her back.
She caught my nipple in her mouth as she lay back. Her cold tongue caused an incredible sensation against my hard nipple. I bit my lip to bite back a moan. Alice focused her attention to my other nipple, causing a soft moan to escape my lips.
Alice finally lay completely back on the bed, so I moved down her body, trailing kisses as I went. Finally I reached my destination. Her back as my warm tongue played with her cold center. The sounds Alice made caused the wetness to pool between my own legs.
I tasted her, savored her juices. There was no greater taste in the world than Alice. I started to slip a finger inside her, when she orgasmed. Alice grabbed me and pulled me up so I was level with her eyes. She slipped her cool finger between my folds, working her fingers like and expert, I soon came against her hand.
Literally, I collapsed on top of her, both of us shaking with the aftershocks of our orgasm. Alice wrapped her arms around my body and held me close to her. I wrapped my arms around her as best I could and we lay there together for the rest of the night.
Jacob, my sun, was gone forever. Now he'd left a hole in my heart. Alice wouldn't fill this hole; Alice filled the space that was my heart. Jacob will forever hold a special place in my heart no matter what. Jake had shown me that, despite all of Edward's doings, I could love again. I could be whole again. Who would have thought I would love again, and it would be Edward's own sister?
I realized then that I had been with the wrong Cullen all along. It was so obvious now. Alice was my opposite in almost every way. And now, no matter what Edward had done to me, or what Jasper had done to Alice, we had each found the right person. Edward and Jasper found their way to each other a little differently than Alice and I had, but at least they'd found the way. It seems that despite the events of today, maybe things would be okay after all.
I smiled against Alice's skin, she felt it of course and smiled into my hair. Alice and I should have been together all along, but we all make mistakes, right? At least we might be together now. I gave myself over to the darkness, fully relaxing in Alice's presence. Her scent surrounded me, comforted me, There was no other place I'd rather be in the world right now than my own bedroom with Alice.
Just before I slipped into sleep, I heard Alice whisper, "Bella, I love you." She left a kiss on my shoulder blade. "And I feel bad I ruined your shirt. We're going shopping tomorrow."
A/N: My very good friend LovelessGurlsDoItBetter has written a partner fic to mine. Hers focuses on Edward and Jasper and it is called, "La beauté de la Douleur". So go to her profile and read it. By the way, the title for this ("In Venere Veritas") is Latin and it roughly translates into "In love there is truth". (I also stole it from a HIM song from their Screamworks album.)
Don't forget you can follow me on Twitter, my username is _LCM_. Or you can just follow the link on my profile. For those of you reading my Leah/Bella story "Simple Kind of Life", I'll be updating that pretty soon. I seem to have gotten my muse back. And if you're reading "Cause I'm Awesome", well, I've been writing so I should be updating in the next week or so, but don't hold me to that.
Hope you enjoyed this little smut piece. Utor vestri dies , meus amicitia! ~LCM~