A/N: So it's been a year. Sorry about that. This chapter's a little short, but it doesn't contain any songs so it's probably the same length as usual really. Also it's the first chapter I've had solely devoted to one pairing. So I'm sorry if you expected some SasuSaku. I promise I'll get to more of that later obviously. I also apologize if this chapter seems a bit disjointed from the others, it's because rather than connecting it to everyone else's timelines I made it stand on it's own. I feel like I've given Ino Kiba less time than anyone else, so I owed them one. Also I found pieces of this document in one of my saved folder and I just really needed to complete it.
I'm sorry too for it's content. I mean, obviously I apologize for it totally sucking, but I'm actually quite pleased with how the writing bit of it turned out.
Ah well. Carry on and ignore me.
The summer sounds like wind chime laughter and the waves on dark sand.
"If you keep spinning like that you're going to throw up all that cotton candy," Kiba laughed.
"Not a chance! I hold my cotton candy like I hold my liquor," I said before stopping and grabbing for Kiba's arm in an attempt to steady myself. I kissed him on the corner of his mouth, not because I was trying.
"Come on clumsy, it's going to rain soon."
"No," I pouted. I loved the beach at night. All the shrieking kids were gone and the fat hairy old men in lawn chairs didn't ogle you. It was beautiful in the way dark things are beautiful.
Quiet and shimmering in soft silver, rather than gold.
I wanted to dance across the water, but it was much too cold and Kiba was determined to keep us from the rain that was coming in.
"You know what I want? I want a beach house—but not the west coast kind. I want one by cold oceans and lighthouses.
"That's not very like you," Kiba cocked his head to the side.
"When I think of you," He paused thoughtfully. "I think of sunlight and Ferris wheels—"
"Yes!" He wrinkled his nose at me. "And loud music, dancing—no just spinning, all your laughs, and birds singing."
"Birds, you know there are birds on the east coast too, right?" I teased.
"I think of an endless summer when I think of you, and that's not what I associate with the east I guess." He shrugged, and turned away from me a little embarrassed.
"Kiba," I said as I tugged at his hand again. But just then a fat droplet fell on my hand and then my nose.
"Come on, it's starting. I told you." He locked his fingers between mine and dragged me along in a parental way. But the rain fell fast and we started sprinting towards my little car, giggling as the cold swept over us. I dove into the backseat and pulled him in beside me. I didn't want to leave.
I kept laughing even though there was nothing funny, and Kiba gave me an incredulous look before draping his arm over my shoulders and pulling me into him. He sighed and closed his eyes.
I pulled my legs up on the seat and leaned on his shoulder. "Just when I think everything is falling apart—when I hate my life too much, you come along and whisk me off my feet."
He tightened his arm around me and kissed my forehead in response. "You're what's keeping me grounded. You're what's keeping me here. If you ever left, I'd go."
But I didn't want to leave right now. No, I didn't know where home was, but as far as I was concerned it was the backseat of a car with the boy I loved, rain washing the beach clean behind us.
I sat on an old bench in his garage and listened to him strum his acoustic guitar. I really couldn't get enough of him—bare footed, tight-shirted, ripped jeans and all. It was like heaven with his sun-kissed skin and his shaggy brown hair falling into his face, making me giggle at the look of ease as he just sunk into his music. I felt like I had been here for ages, like I'd always been here and I'd never leave.
It felt everlasting in the best way possible. In the Peter Pan kind of way.
This was a wonderful thought, and it was making me fly. Fly higher than any of those stars Hinata and Sakura tried catching.
I smiled to myself, just watching him. I wasn't always content with that, most of the time I needed him. I had to be close to him, touching him, talking to him, feeling his magnetic pull.
Right now I was fine with just sitting close by getting to see the ease that ran his fingers over each string. I loved watching the small smile form on his face without him knowing, the way that smile stretched into a big grin that filled up even his eyes with delight when he looked up to see me eying him.
It was a lovely moment I wanted to photograph and keep in my head for eternity. This guy, this guy was incredible.
"You guys are going to make it big." I said outloud. "I can feel it in my gut. You're all so talented, I mean we, we're good. But I don't think any of us take it as serious as you guys. We use it as an outlet, I wish...I wish we could make it, that's my dream upon dreams, but you're going to get there."
"Hm." He said his fingers still sliding along.
"I want to come with you. I want to travel with you guys when you start touring. I can be your number one fan, a roadie or groupie or whatever." I smiled and waved my hand through the air because the terms didn't matter. What mattered was that we'd be together.
His head snapped up though, and his smile was gone. Instead he frowned. "Ino, don't talk like that."
"Like what?" I said my brow creasing.
"Like you don't have a chance at anything on your own."
"I don't really. My parents could give a shit less about me and I only play bass. It's nothing special, I'm a dime a dozen really. Sakura's going to go off to be a doctor, Hinata will be an artist, and Tenten will. Well I don't think she really plans ahead much." I admitted. "I have nothing else here. Why is there even a problem, we'll be together. That's all I need."
He stood up too fast. Too quick, too angry, too soon.
"Ino, shut up. No we are not doing that, don't even think for a moment I'm going to let you follow us if we tour. Stop talking like that."
"No, why don't you want to be together? Are you planning on fucking some skanky groupies when I'm not around?" I said standing up too. I could feel things unwinding—coming undone too quickly like the downward jerk of a zipper.
"Ino, I'm not your entire world. You're not going to center your life around me."
I stood there, shaking with fury because honestly I didn't see anything wrong with it. With it just being me and him against the world because we were together and we loved each other. He was my life because that's what it was, music and love. He was both of that. He was perfect and he was all I'd ever want, someone to love me like they meant it.
"I love you."
"I don't care, you're not going to fucking give up everything for me. That's just ridiculous."
"No it isn't!" I screamed because that was the sound of my heart breaking like a shattered window.
"It's clingy and fucking psychotic! You're seventeen! Stop planning your life around mine! You have so much more to live for than me!" He shouted at me, like my mother used to do, shouted at me like I was a stupid little girl. I didn't know anything at all.
"I'm sorry I fucking care so much then. I'm sorry I want you. I'm sorry I fucking love you!" I screamed, because that's what I had in me. Screams upon screams that had never been let out.
Screams at everyone who had told me I couldn't do anything, and more screams because their relentless words had made me believe them. Believe I was nothing, no one. I'd never amount to anything and I was a disgrace. The one person I allowed to open up to, to trust? Confessed to him I loved him, and the words I don't care were looped endlessly in my mind.
"You should be," He said turning away from me. He tossed the words over his shoulder like they didn't mean anything..
They rolled over me, and left tracks of mascara down my cheeks. They left me running and tripping to my car at the curb, slipping into oblivion.
I stared at my phone for the millionth time. I had ignored every single call from everyone in the past three days and I figured they'd get around to checking on me pretty soon if I didn't respond. fight, one big blow out and I was burnt to ash.
I grabbed my phone and dialed his number, letting it ring and ring and ring.
"What do you want?" His voice sounded rough, tired.
"I want to see you. I...miss you..."
"Kiba, I love you."
"I know...But I don't think we can keep seeing each other. It's just not working out."
"What ?What isn't working out?" I hated that my voice sounded desperate, sounded terrible, sounded pathetic. I was being this typical obsessive girlfriend, but I couldn't help it. I had to allow myself this weakness because this couldn't just be over.
"This whole relationship, we said from the start that this we weren't the kind of people to fall in love."
"But I did, I love you." There was a long silence, and I could hear his measured breathing on the other end of the line. I didn't know how many more times I could say it. Each time I did it felt like I was swallowing glass.
"And I can't love you, Ino. I'm sorry, I know it hurts you, but it'll hurt less if I do it now."
I didn't know what to say to that. He couldn't love me? What was preventing that? No one was standing there telling him no. Nothing can stop you from loving a person.
He hung up and that was it.
I walked into the open garage door, but he didn't notice. He was too busy bending over into the hood.
"Kiba?" I called and which startled him into turning around quickly.
"Ino? What are you doing here?" He rang his hands out on a greasy rag.
"I just wanted to talk, okay? Just a mature conversation, I don't think I can leave things the way…they were left." I didn't need closure, I needed him. He was so embedded into me. It felt wrong not to have him around. But now, now I was feeling wrong for wanting him at all.
"Okay." He said slowly. "Say what you need to." He looked sad, I caught it in his eyes, in the way he sucked on the side of his lip, it was so very Kiba.
"I wanted you to know that I love you. I think I always will. It's something intangible. I can't describe it and it sounds...clingy, but you're important to me." I blinked and my eyes started to sting. "I was so afraid of anyone being close to me, because everyone always tore me down. They made me feel worthless and empty and I didn't want to deal with it anymore so I always made myself so detached.
Then you came along, and you were so genuine. You made me feel like I could do anything, you took this broken me and you built me from scratch and made me truly believe I could conquer anything. I didn't realize at first how much you meant to me, and then you didn't want me for sex and I knew it. You were so much different, you're so incredible and I don't know if anyone's ever told you that, because you are. You're the most incredible human being I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, at least alongside my best friends.
I want to be the person who gets to hold you and tell you that every day, I want to make you feel like you can do anything on the days you don't believe you can. I don't know how a person who can tell me everything you did, could turn around and burn it all to the ground in a second. I don't know if you're lying now or if everything else was a lie. Shit, I don't know which is worse anymore. Either way you don't want me now, and that hurts."
"Ino," He started so tenderly, just like he used to. "I'm sorry. I wasn't lying to you, but this just isn't going to work out. Sometimes things just don't fit, no matter how hard we try." He grimaced, reaching out and brushing my tears away. I took that moment to reach up and kiss him. I pressed myself to him, trying to get myself to stick to everything he was just like his kisses did to me, but he gripped my wrists and pulled them off of me. Holding me at an arm's length as my fists clenched.
"Why can't you love me?" I asked so softly. "I'll change, I'll be whoever you want me to be."
"I'm so sorry...So sorry." He said shaking his head, and he pulled me into a hug that seemed to intimate to be allowed, especially after he had just forbidden us from being together. It was too cruel for him to do that and I pushed away from him. I didn't want his scent on me; I couldn't stand the thought of his voice or his eyes.
I didn't want this pity. He broke my heart.
He let me go, flinching as I jerked away from him. I found it sickly satisfying that that's the way he looked when I walked away. He looked hurt, because he was a stupid boy. He broke hearts for no reason and lied.
I didn't care if I was another notch on his bed post, he was just another line in my song.