A/N: So I just saw that movie Remember Me (I know, I'm a total girl) and was in such an angsty mood that I had to write this. IMO its actually not that good but I just had to get this out tonight. I wrote one of these for Blair but this is for CHuck (and I wish I could have done it more justice.)
Summary: He hurt her and she hurt him. He did something unforgivable but what he didn't know was that she would forgive him time and time again if he would only just let her come with him.
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine and the quote at the beginning is inspired by Buffy.
I've never fallen in love with anyone before. I'm sorry if that makes it impossible for you to take me seriously.
It wasn't the most hurtful thing he had said to her. It wasn't even the most explosive as he slammed the door behind him. It hurt more when he sneered the word wife at her or left notes or even telling her that they weren't worth it anymore. That it was just a game. The only reason she would remember his words exactly as she looked at the bright blue sky that seemed to be celebrating him rather than cursing him was because it was one of the most truthful things he had ever said to her. More than crystallized speeches with pretty words at weddings or clearly rehearsed words with presents in hand. She would think of those words because they were fading from her mind. And they weren't ever coming back.
Chuck closed the door of the apartment behind him, quietly taking in the face that he had destroyed countless numbers of times before. But it wasn't bad. It wasn't nearly as bad as the bruise he could see burning under her eye, the corner of her lip caked with blood.
Chuck took carefully measured steps and sat on the couch next to her. He tentatively stroked her dark hair down her back comfortingly. He didn't have to ask. He didn't have to know. Because she was here again and he knew no matter how much he hurt her, he would never hurt her like that.
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice cracking. Still, he said nothing. He just squinted at her through the darkness. "For leaving."
"I made you," he said finally, clearing his throat.
And he let her in.
She pulled herself into his lap gingerly and cradled her head in the hallow of his throat.
"I can't seem to take care of myself," she murmured into his chest.
"You are the strongest person I have ever met," Chuck said. "I could never leave you. I tried and it didn't take."
"Do you want me to leave?" she asked and he wondered if she was crying.
"Do you want to know the truth?" he asked back. "If you get the truth, you won't get to leave."
Her mind went blank. She knew what she was seeing was the truth. If she hadn't seen it herself, she wouldn't have believed it.
Serena's voice was far off. All Blair could feel was falling into the abyss. It was an abyss she had been in before. She remembered. But this time, she wouldn't be able to pull herself out. She didn't want to.
She felt Serena pull her into her arms, away from the scene unfolding in front of the both of them. But like she was nothing but air, Serena drifted from her and all Blair could see was heart ache.
"Is he cold?" Blair asked shakily.
"Get away from there."
"Is he even there?"
"You don't have to look," Serena said.
"I have to," Blair answered. "I always have to watch him fall apart."
Because there was nothing she could do anymore.
Her zipper was stuck. She felt the tears run down her face at his harsh words. She knew she had always depended on him to carry her. But she was stuck to him like a barb. Like this zipper that wouldn't pry itself from the teeth.
Her instinct for flight collapsed when she heard the door slam and she knew he was home. If she could even call this her home anymore.
Chuck's narrow eyes flicked to her, taking in her haggard appearance before he stumbled down the hallway. And she knew he wasn't angry at her anymore. And that maybe he never was.
He was leaning his head against the wall, sucking in deep breaths like he was suffocating. She curled her fingers around the hair at the back of his neck, turning him to face her.
But he didn't have to.
His eyes were mournful and she pulled him into her body. He clutched her to himself and breathed her in too, like he had everything else that night.
"He doesn't know you."
Chuck pulled his head from the crook of her neck gazing heatedly into her eyes. His grip became tight against her ribs and she felt the air churn with need and want and need. He held her face between his hands in a vice grip, leaning her against the opposite wall.
"He doesn't know you," she whispered again. "I know you."
His usual authoritative voice come out more like a plea. He crushed his lips against hers powerfully and she breathed him all in too. His hands went to her back, feeling the zipper that was still stuck halfway down her back.
She tried to shrug out of it but it was on too tight. She instead ripped his somber clothing away so she could show him she loved him as much as she could feel that he loved her too.
His grip was more than tight. It was pleading. It was begging her to pleasepleasetakemenow. He took her lower lip between his teeth and she could feel him shudder. He began pulling at her dress, groaning when it wouldn't come undone.
He shoved her back into his room. So consumed by his passion, he spun her around and all she could feel his forceful grip as her dress fell away. She didn't know but she was certain there was a zipper littered on the floor once they were done.
"Tell me you want me."
"I want you."
"Tell me you need me."
"I need you."
He never had to ask.
But then again, they never had to tell her.
Blair hadn't spoken since the wreckage flared with the fury she knew that was all her fault. She deserved this. She earned this. But all she could taste was the salt of her own tears and the fury that she couldn't follow behind him as she always had done.
He hurt her and she hurt him. He did something unforgivable but what he didn't know was that she would forgive him time and time again if he would only just let her come with him. But he didn't know. He couldn't know. Not anymore.
"Is it him?" Blair asked, not wanting to look.
She hated the pity of the psuedo-mother and the barely there sister that detested him. She hated how she knew even now that she would get married and have children and that was what hurt most of all. That it would all be without him.
"You need to stop coming here," Serena persuaded. Blair still refused to look at the picture that was on display for the public. It wasn't him. It just wasn't him.
"You didn't answer me," Blair swore, tracing his full name in the gold engraved lettering.
Charles Bartholomew Bass.
She wished they both had the courage to admit it was inevitable. That his name could have been intertwined with hers like their legs, their hearts, their everything.
"Is he there?"
"It's just a name," Serena said, unsteadily. "Just a plaque."
"If I saw him," Blair said, "would he be there?"
"No," Serena said. "It's just a body."
"I wish he knew."
"He knew you loved him," Serena said. BLair refused to listen to the past tense. Because it wasn't over for her. It was never over between them.
"No," Blair replied forcefully. "I wish he knew. He was the most real thing in my life."
I took you seriously. You were the most serious thing I ever had.
But he couldn't hear her anymore.
He was right when they would lay in each other's arms and he would say things to her that no one else would ever.
He loved her.
He loved her forever.
He loved her to his grave.
She would love him to hers.
No matter how close or far away that may be.
She tried to take a deep breath but it wouldn't come. She just couldn't breathe anymore.