The Quiet Scream
a Seddie fanfiction
by Emma

Summary: He's there. Then he's not. Am I going insane? Is life torturing me? The only thing I know, is that I'm afraid to admit I might be crazy. Because if I'm crazy. They'll take him away.


Chapter One

I cry myself to sleep for the third time this week. I wake up and my eyes are all swollen ... I wonder if I cried in my sleep. It would seem natural.

Some people thing that I'm not a emotional person. But I always have been, I've just not shown it. My mother always said, "Puckett's don't cry," so I didn't cry.

But I couldn't not cry at a time like this. I wouldn't talk to anyone. I had to be alone. See no one. All I wanted was to be with him, but I knew I couldn't be.

I pulled my black hoodie around my small body. I had slowly been withering away. I had been refusing to eat. I know. Me? Not eating? Had the world suddenly come to an end?! To me it has. I felt like I couldn't eat, if I did I could hear his voice, "Wow, Puckett, eating again? You're going to get fat." and my response would have been something like, "Shut up, Benson." nothing more. Then I would have ate it, happily, as he smirked at me.

I stopped at the grey stone, and I gasped. I hadn't seen this stone in three days. And even then I couldn't get to grips what it said on it.

November 18th 1995 - September 28th 2013
We love you.

Tears stung my eyes, but I wiped them away. I didn't want to cry here. Not out in the open.

I remembered the day ... I was at Carly's ... it was supposed to be a normal day ... we were supposed to hang out, watch movies. But when Freddie didn't show up half-an-hour after we told him to, Carly went over to his apartment.

"He must've fallen asleep." she had said.

I remember rolling, my eyes, "That lazy nerd."

Carly had walked out of the door, and I heard her knocking, about a minute later, I heard a shriek. I ran out the door, to kind Ms. Benson panicking.

"Where's my baby? Why isn't he there?"

"Where did he say he went when you last talked to him?" Carly had asked calmly.

"He went to get a smoothie, he had said, 'Going to get a smoothie, then I'm going to Carly's bye.'" Ms. Benson's voice high and panicky. I had to admit ... I was somewhat scared.

"Okay, calm down. Let's go to Groovy Smoothie and look for him." Carly said.

We went to the Groovy Smoothie, and he wasn't there ... Ms. Benson was now hysterical, Carly's worry was growing, and I - on the inside - was freaking out.

We went everywhere, we went to Shane's house, we went to Gibby's house, we went to every one of Freddie's friends we knew about. He wasn't there. They hadn't seen him all day.

The next thing I knew. We had called 9-1-1.

A day later, we heard another scream from the Benson's apartment. Carly and Spencer and I had ran in there, and we found Ms. Benson sobbing on the floor, the phone hanging off the receiver, and small little, "Hello? Hello, Ms. Benson?" coming from it.

I had walked over to the phone and picked it up, "Hello, sorry, I'm a friend, what happened?"

"We have found Fredward Benson. Brown hair, brown eyes, 5'10", does that match a description?"

"Y-yes. What's wrong with him?" I had stuttered.

The next three words shattered my world in one hit. It tore me apart, a claw attacking my chest.

"Fredward was murdered."

I let out a hard shriek, causing Carly and Spencer to look at me, I was already sobbing, I felt like dropping the phone.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." was the last thing the police man said to me, before I handed the phone to Spencer.

"Sam, Sam! What's wrong?" Carly asked me, alerted by my behavior.

"F-Freddie!" I sobbed, "he-he's d-dead!"

Carly and I collapsed to the floor beside Ms. Benson, who took us in her arms. The three of us sat on the floor crying.

"Who would do that to my baby!" Ms. Benson cried, "He was a good boy! Never hurt a fly!"

None of us knew the answer to that question. All we knew is that he was gone.

The only people who were willing to go and get the body from the police-station were Spencer and I. Ms. Benson couldn't dare to look at it, and Carly had promised to stay by Ms. Benson's side the whole time.

So I went. With Spencer I went to get the body. The body of my best-friend. He was only 18. 18 years old ... not old enough to die. No one's old enough to die.

We entered the station, and the police-man took us to a room, there was a whitesheet.

Under that white sheet ... is my friend, I remember thinking. It made me shudder.

Spencer removed the white sheet, I felt as if I was going to throw up.

Cuts everywhere, blood stained his skin. I couldn't recognize him, I was afraid to.

"Oh Freddie ..." Spencer had whispered, covering the white sheet again, as he turned to me, I saw little tears in his eyes, "C'mon Sam ... let's get all this paperwork done."

I had nodded and followed him out.

Three days ago was Freddie's funeral. I didn't want to go ... I didn't think I could handle it. But Carly made me go. She said Freddie would've wanted us there.

In my mind I answered, Freddie wouldn't have wanted to be dead.

The funeral was sad. Tear jerking, heart stopping, mind blowing.

But the only thing I could think of was how much of a jerk I was to him. How he was really one of my best friends, and I called him, nerd, dweeb, Freddison, Freddifer, Benson, Fredwad, Fredward, Freducinni, Freddork. The list could go on forever.

I was thinking about how the world would never be the same, and how I couldn't think of continuing living without a world with him.

I was thinking about Ms. Benson, having to live the rest of her life, literally alone.

I was thinking of Carly, and how she was his first crush, and how I hated the idea of them together.

I was thinking of Spencer, and how he now had to deal with two grieving women.

I was thinking of Gibby, and how he just lost a very close friend.

I was thinking of Shane, who stayed away from Carly and I the most, and how he never really got to know Freddie the way Carly or I did.

But the thing that I was thinking about the most, the thing that made my heart ache, and my brain bash against the side of my skull. The thing that made my breath shorten, and my spine tingle. The thing that made me clench my jaw, and me want to scream. Was that I never got to tell him, how much, I love him.

Authors Notes: Hi there! Here's a new fanfiction by me! As you can see, this story is very angsty, and will probably be very science-fiction-y. But still good (hopfully)

I'm not so sure how long this story is going to be, but I'm hoping for at least 15 or 20 ch. I know I want more than 9, which is usually how long most of my stories are. But I'm getting better at writing longer stories *cheers*

Okay, so ... now all there's left to do is press that little magical button that makes me want to update more!


waiting, (waiting) waitng for my reviews