I have a feeling people are going to be pissed off with me at the end of this chapter :(
Thank you SOOOO much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! *hugs* thank you so much, I really appreciate the feedback (and how to make Ichigo's life even more unbearable XD)
Special thanks to ever awesome Panruru for betaing this chapter
Warning: language and chapter contains sexual situations that may not be appropriate for younger viewers
Ichigo sighed in relief when Mashiro opened the door to the vizards' hideout. Finally, he was safe from all those crazed manics who wanted a piece of his ass. He would never be able to look at Keigo again without wanting to punch him in the face after the way he'd violated his leg (which actually wasn't all that different from usual, but still. There was a line.) He'd ended up having to turn off his phone after his inbox had been flooded by text messages from Mizuiro, who was still trying to ask him out. When he'd started asking about phone sex, Ichigo had decided he'd had enough. He was thankful that the vizards were well hidden enough that neither his friends nor his stalkers would be able to find him there.
"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, BALDY?" a high pitch scream startled him an instant before a foot collided with his face and sent him crashing into the wall. He groaned as he picked himself up, and glared at the blonde devil who had kicked him and was now in the process of taking off her sandal to beat him senseless.
"What the hell's your problem?" Ichigo growled. He got to his feet and blocked the sandal just before it would have hit him. Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough to stop her from following it up by slapping him across the face.
"You never come here anymore! We teach you how to control your inner hollow and then you ditch us?" Hiyori screamed, and would have continued if Ichigo hadn't kicked her in the side. Normally he would never hurt a girl, but Hiyori was an exception to that rule. And Rukia when she was being evil. And Tatsuki when she beat him up. And Nel when she tried to glomp him to death … okay, so it depended on the situation, and this one called for it.
"Ah, Ichigo! It's nice to see you again," Rose greeted with a charming smile from his spot on the couch. "Where have you been? It's been so long since we've seen you," he added, standing up and slowly approached the teen, who quickly ducked before Hiyori could tackle him.
"Uh, been busy with this and that. You know, with the war coming up and everything..." Ichigo scratched the back of his neck and an idea came to him. "Hey, have you guys ever had a problem getting someone to go on a date with you?" he asked just as Love came into the room and waved to the youngest vizard.
"Hm, not really. They usually say yes the first time I ask; if not, I usually move on." Love chuckled and slapped Ichigo on the back. This didn't seem help the teen, however, and only served to make him more depressed. He'd figured that Love and Rose had experience picking people up and had been hoping for some advice on how to get Byakuya to agree to go out with him. Crap, I'm going to be chased for the rest of my life. Then I'll die and go to Soul Society and be chased for the rest of my afterlife, he thought, sulking.
"Well, there is one person I like at the moment..." the blond man remarked, moving closer to Ichigo. "...and I was wondering if that special someone would like to accompany to dinner before we finish the romantic night making out," he suggested, and Ichigo's eyes widened when Rose started invading his personal space.
"Uh, I think I'll be going," Ichigo said, but Rose wrapped an around his waist to bring him closer.
"Shh, we have not yet even begun our journey," he whispered. Despite himself, Ichigo was suddenly glad that Hiyori had been betrayed and kicked out of Soul Society along with the rest of the vizards. The little blonde monkey came flying through the air, and rather than hitting Ichigo she kicked Rose in the head. The older man fell to the ground, unconscious.
"This isn't finished!" Hiyori yelled at Ichigo. She charged at him, only to be grabbed from behind by Love and lifted up into the air. The sight of the small girl's legs kicking out and her arms swinging futilely was quite amusing – or at least would have been if the vizards hadn't eaten the damn cookies!
Shit, I've got to get out of here! he thought to himself, and moved towards the door. He knew that danger lay on the other side of it, but he thought it better to risk going back out into the open than staying in an enclosed space with these maniacs.
"Ichigo." He stopped with his hand on the door handle and turned to Lisa, who had just entered the room with a bored expression on her face and a manga in one hand. She didn't bother looking up at him, and kept her eyes glued to the pages as she walked across the room to sit on the couch. "Shinji wants to talk to you. He said something about cookies and he didn't sound happy," she told him, then went back to reading her manga.
Ichigo bit his lip, trying to decide whether it was better to venture across the vizards' hideout to see what Shinji wanted or to leave right away before any other hormonal males tried to pounce on him. He glanced down at Rose. The man was still unconscious, and Love was probably going to be busy trying to control Hiyori for a good while. That, at least, took two out of the equation, and it sounded like Shinji was serious. Maybe he hadn't eaten any of the cookies? If so, he might be willing to help Ichigo with his problem. Okay, that last one was doubtful, but he really needed some allies that weren't trying to get into his pants.
He made his way across the room and down the hall, towards the last door which he knew led to Shinji's office. He started to knock, but when his hand hit the door it slowly opened.
"Shinji?" Ichigo called as he entered the pitch black room. He was about to look for a light switch when the ex-captain finally spoke up.
"Leave the lights off and close the door. I want to speak with you about the problem that's going on in Karakura Town," Shinji said, his figure outlined in the darkness when he moved.
Ichigo complied and shut the door behind him, tripping over several things on the floor before he finally found a chair sitting in front of the older man's desk. "You know about that?" Ichigo asked, almost hopefully. At least if he had Shinji on his side to beat off anyone that came near him, he might stand a chance of keeping his virginity until he could resolve his little … well, major problem.
"Please." Shinji stood and moved around the desk. "It's obvious. Just walking down the street, I kept hearing people asking where you were. Then Love came home with a bag of cookies and suddenly the other vizards were talking about you too," he said, placing a hand on the desk.
"Shit. Listen, long story short, I wanted someone to fall in love with me so I went to Hat and Clogs–" Shinji snorted. "–and asked him for help, and he gave me this potion that was supposed to make this guy fall in love with me. I put it in some cookies, but he never got it and everyone else did!" he explained the best he could, having no desire to go into detail. He was getting tired of dealing with this mess, and he just wanted it all to end. Unfortunately, it didn't look like that was going to happen anytime soon.
"That does explain a few things," Shinji commented. He moved closer to Ichigo, and the teen squinted in the dark. He didn't understand why the older man couldn't just turn the damn light on. "Why would you go to Urahara, though? I'd think that you of all people would know better than to go to him," he said, which was quite unhelpful and only ticked the teen off. So sue him; he'd been desperate and in heartache.
"Why did you want the potion in the first place?" the older vizard asked. Ichigo bowed his head and fidgeted with his hakama.
"Like I said, I had a crush on someone. Byakuya. And he rejected me," Ichigo revealed, feeling like a complete loser. Of all the guys in the world he could have fallen in love with, why had he picked the one who had no heart? "I've been trying to talk to him for months, but he always sends me away. Mostly, he says stuff about how I'm not a real shinigami and I shouldn't be in Seireitei. Now I can't break this curse until he sleeps with me, which is never going to happen." He sighed hopelessly, then jumped a little when he felt Shinji's hand on his leg.
"The Kuchiki's have always had a stick up their asses, Byakuya especially. At least his grandfather had a sense of humor. Byakuya did too before he was a captain, actually," Shinji told the younger vizard, who looked up in the darkness with surprise. "He used to be a little ball of fire. He kind of reminded me of you, to be honest, especially when Yoruichi-san was around. She loved to torment him."
Ichigo smiled softly, wishing he could have met that Byakuya. It was hard to imagine the cold noble behaving that way, and he wished there were pictures. Of course, that had been before his wife died and his personality with her. He'd hoped he could try to change that, but the chances of Byakuya letting him were slim to none.
"You should find someone else," Shinji said, removing his hand from Ichigo's leg. "Someone who'll appreciate you and take care of you. Not to mention..." he felt a large, heavy lump plop onto his lap. "...someone who will put out," he whispered into Ichigo's ear, and licked the lobe.
At this, the teen freaked and grabbed Shinji by the shirt – or at least he would have had there been a shirt to grab.
Bare legs and thighs–
"WHAT THE FUCK SHINJI!" Ichigo threw the naked man off of him and onto the floor. He stood and felt blindly around Shinji's desk until he found a small lamp. He turned it on, and immediately regretted it. "CRAP, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" he yelled, and covered his eyes at the sight of Shinji picking his naked form off the floor. Worst of all, the man was hard!
"I can't hide my feelings anymore; we were meant to be!" Shinji opened his arms and began approaching Ichigo, his cock up and happy to see the teen as well.
"BACK THE FUCK OFF!" Ichigo lowered his hands and reached for his zanpakutou. "I swear to god Shinji, if you come near me I will chop your dick off and make you eat it!" he warned, but the older vizard didn't seem threatened in the least.
"Actually, I'd rather be shoving it up your–" Shinji began before he had to dodge out of the way to avoid being dismembered by Zangetsu.
"If you try to finish that sentence, I will kill you! I have enough mental scars already from everyone else, and this is just one more thing that's going to haunt me for the rest of my life!" he shouted, and took a step back as Shinji came closer. Despite his threats, he really didn't want to kill the other man. He liked Shinji, or at least he had before this incident. Besides, he was sure the blond still had a few things to teach him about his vizard powers.
Well, there's always Lisa, he thought, swinging at Shinji again when the man got closer.
"Ichigo, come on now. Let's be adults here. Why don't you take your clothes off and stand in front of the desk?" Shinji appealed to him, approaching the teen with caution.
"You put some fucking clothes on before I castrate you!" Ichigo warned. He cringed when he noticed that the older man was getting even more turned on, and pre-cum was dripping from his cock. I'm going to be sick! he thought, feeling bile rise in his throat.
"Listen, I–" Shinji started, but was cut off when someone struck him in the back of the head. Ichigo had never been so glad to see someone fall unconscious in his life. Sure, he felt bad that it had had to come to this, but at least he didn't have to look at Shinji's naked body anymore.
"So Mashiro was right, you are here." Ichigo froze at the deadly grin on Kensei's face as the silver haired vizard took a step towards him.
Shit, this is bad, Ichigo thought to himself before ducking around Kensei. He ran towards the door, but was tackled to the floor when it was still a couple feet away.
"You're not going anywhere, Berry!" Kensei whispered into his ear. "You're in my house now."
In the living room, Lisa yawned as she glanced over at Hiyori. The other vizard was sitting with her arms and legs crossed, pouting while Love helped Rose into a chair and gave him an ice pack. "Did you hear someone yelling?" Mashiro asked her as she peeked her head out from behind the fridge door.
"It's probably just your imagination," Lisa dismissed, but just then they all heard someone yelling down the hall. A loud crash soon followed. However, no one moved from their spots, nor did any of them so much as quirk an eyebrow.
"Take it off!"
"Get off me!"
"Was that Berry-tan and Kensei?" Mashiro asked, shutting the refrigerator just as Hachi came through the front door with dinner. "Yay! What did you bring!" she asked, completely forgetting about the cries coming from the hallway.
"Oh, I stopped at a restaurant and picked up something special since you said that Ichigo was coming over," Hachi told them, and placed some large bags of food on the counter.
"GET BACK HERE!"
"FUCK NO, YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!" Ichigo yelled as he ran into the room, his haori torn enough to partially expose his chest. His obi was undone and he was doing his best to keep his hakama up after it had been partially pulled down.
"Oh my, Ichigo-san, are you alright?" Hachi asked, but the teen ignored him. He knew he should feel bad about not saying hello to the very nice and polite man, but with a sex-crazed Kensei on his tail it wasn't worth it. He'd apologize later. However, this wasn't good enough for Hachi. A golden barrier stopped Ichigo in his tracks, luckily leaving Kensei on the outside.
"Hey, let me in there!" Kensei shouted at Hachi, who was the only one in the barrier other than Ichigo. Though he was relieved to be safe from Kensei, Ichigo felt slightly frustrated. The front door was right in front of him, but he couldn't leave. Meanwhile, was trapped in a house with a bunch of maniacs after him. Well, not really anymore; most of the vizards were stuffing their faces with the food Hachi had brought home. Even Kensei had calmed down a bit and was stuffing his face with rice while he watched the berry.
"I apologize for my friend's rude behavior." Hachi bowed his head and Ichigo stared at him, wide-eyed with panic. Hachi seemed okay, but it was becoming hard for him to trust anyone. Hell, he had trusted Shinji before he'd sat his naked ass down in his lap.
I'll have to burn these clothes, he noted to himself. Hachi reached for the top button of his shirt and Ichigo's mouth dropped open. Whether from shock or disgust, he didn't even know anymore. All he knew was that when Hachi took his shirt off, a little part of him died inside. There was no way he was going to lose his virginity to Hachi. He liked the man, but not – never – in that way!
"I suppose we should make this fast ... or do you like it slow? I assume you will be on the bottom." The bile that had been sitting in the back of Ichigo's throat finally came up and he doubled over slightly as he vomited, then quickly grabbed Zangetsu and sliced through the barrier. Luckily, nothing else happened to stop him from reaching the exit and he was soon running for his life.
What did I do to deserve this? Is Rukia's sister haunting me from beyond the grave because I'm going after Byakuya? I swear I'll never fall in love with another man as long as I live so long as I don't have to see anything like that again! he swore to himself. He peeked over his shoulder and found that no one was following him, thank god! He didn't know how he would react when he saw the vizards again. Hachi asking if he was a bottom ... he winced and felt the bile rise up again. Then there was Kensei, who'd almost got him completely naked and managed to grope his ass before he'd kicked the bastard in the face. And worst of all, Shinji's naked body with his weeping cock wagging between his legs. He was going to have nightmares for the rest of his life!
"Hey, Ichigo!" a shinigami with an afro jumped in front of him, waving cheerfully. For the life of him, Ichigo couldn't remember his name; nor did he care to. The shinigami was in the way and needed to move!
"I was wondering if you–" afro shinigami started to ask before Ichigo punched him in the face.
I don't care how nice he is, I'm not putting up with this shit anymore! he thought to himself, then froze when he saw the most terrifying thing he'd ever seen in his life. "Fuck no," Ichigo whimpered at the sight of a laughing Kenpachi racing at him with his small lieutenant waving from his shoulder. "Can this day get any worse?" Ichigo took a step back, seriously considering admitting himself to a psyche ward. Then again, the people there would probably molest him too!
"Don't worry." He jumped when a hand wrapped around his waist and he was pulled into a thin chest. He peeked over his shoulder and felt his eye twitch and his throat grow dry. "It won't," Ulquiorra finished, dragging Ichigo through a garganta and closing it before the eleventh division captain could catch the berry he'd been searching for all day.
"Son of a–"
"Kenny! You just missed Ichi!" Yachiru pointed at the empty air Ichigo'd disappeared into, and watched as Kenpachi had a fit and smashed the side of the building he was standing next to.
"Ya think? Damn arrancar. He's mine!" Kenpachi snarled. He turned and started walking back down the street. An idea was forming in his mind: he could smash that clown face, Mayuri, until he opened a garganta so he could go after his berry again. Perfect. He grinned and took off once more.
"Hey, I think my nose is broken!" afro shinigami shouted as he raced by and hit him in the face again. That weakling wasn't worth it. He couldn't give him the fight he desired, not like Ichigo. Kenpachi licked his lips, savoring the thought of the hot battle the two of them would have once he caught him.
Captain Byakuya Kuchiki sat at his desk doing paperwork, as usual. The load had increased due to his lieutenant's supposed mission to Karakura Town. Of course, it was obvious that the redheaded baboon had actually just gone there to visit his sister and the substitute shinigami. That was where his lieutenant always ran off to. And every time he left, Byakuya had to do his paperwork to ensure it was turned in on time. Abarai was beginning to turn into a disgrace, and other officers had begun following in his footsteps. More and more had been slacking off, and it didn't help that Abarai had been dragged in only hours ago by the third and ninth lieutenants, who'd found him tied up without a shirt. Byakuya had chosen to stay in his office rather than see his lieutenant's condition firsthand.
When someone knocked on his door he ignored it, continuing to fill out reports on each of his officers and their progress. The knocking continued, however, and after a few seconds his eyes shifted towards the door in annoyance. "Come in," he said reluctantly, loudly enough for the person outside to hear. This interruption had better be something important such as a report on the progress on the war, the next captain's meeting, or urgent matters pertaining to his division. Unfortunately, he was to be disappointed.
"Oh, hello Captain Kuchiki." Nanao, the eighth division lieutenant, bowed her head along with Nemu, the twelfth division lieutenant, and Isane, the fourth division lieutenant, followed suit. "We were ordered by the Captain Commander to take this survey to each of the captains. We need to fill them out and return them by tomorrow morning," she told him, and raised her head to see that the captain didn't look very amused.
"Leave it on my desk; I will fill it out later and hand it to him myself." Byakuya looked back down and continued working on his reports. He couldn't recall the Captain Commander every issuing any surveys in his entire time being captain. However, if it had been issued by the head general then he would do as commanded.
"Actually, we can't leave it here because we were given the responsibility of returning all the surveys." Isane patted herself on the back for thinking so quickly even though she was sweating bullets just from being in the same room as the majestic captain. "You see, we have to ask you the questions and then you sign your name at the end confirming that you participated in the survey," she said quickly, uncertain if she had remembered everything she'd planned to say. The captain looked up from his work but none of the women could tell if he'd bought it.
"Very well, but make it quick." Byakuya put his pen down and the three girls slowly walked to his desk, uncertain if they should take a seat. If things went wrong, they'd need to leave quickly before he could draw his sword.
"Thank you, Captain." Nanao looked down at her clipboard and glanced over the questions. Might as well get it over with, she thought, though she wondered how long it would take before the captain caught on. "At what age did you know you wanted to be a captain?" she asked. She looked up at him and frowned uneasily. He stared back expressionlessly, not even batting an eyelash.
"The Captain Commander should already know the answer to that. The noble Kuchiki family has always been in charge of the sixth division," Byakuya muttered, and watched as Nanao began writing the answer down.
"Sorry, but we have to ask everyone this. Not all the captains were born to their station." She coughed, trying to regain her composure. When she looked down at the next question she paled. Why had they put that on the survey? It must have been Rangiku who'd added it, and there was no way she was going to ask it. "Isane, why don't you ask the next question?" she passed the clipboard to the fourth division lieutenant.
"Have you ever been married, and how long did it last?" A blush formed on the lieutenant's cheeks and she refused to look up. Please let us get out of here alive! she prayed to herself.
"I was married to Hisana until she died," Byakuya answered quietly, and turned to look at the picture of his late wife that sat on his desk
Isane shot a quick glance at Nanao, wondering why they'd put such a question on the survey. They were trying to get Byakuya to fall for Ichigo; the last thing they needed was for him to go back into mourning over his dead wife. She looked back down at the questions and really wondered who'd made up the survey.
Question 3: Was it you or your spouse's fault that your marriage ended? This is a suicide mission. There's no way I'm asking him that! the silver haired woman thought, skipping down the list of questions. "Um, what is your favorite color? Orange, red, black, or white?" she asked, hoping to ease the tension.
Byakuya raised an eyebrow at the three women. He was beginning to wonder if the Captain Commander wasn't extremely bored in the first division. Or, more likely, he hadn't issued this survey at all. "None of them; I prefer blue," he replied. Isane looked down and tapped her pen against the paper. That wasn't really the answer she'd been looking for, so she scratched the question off the list. She bit her lip as she skipped down to the next one, and quickly handed the survey over to Nemu.
The twelfth division lieutenant looked down at the survey emotionlessly and began reading off the next question. "In a sexual relationship with a man, would you be willing to be the uke?" she asked. Byakuya stared at the girl, his eyes widening slightly.
"Excuse me?" he asked in a low tone that made the other two girls gulp.
"Are you a seme or an uke?" Nemu repeated.
"Go to the next question, go to the next question," Nanao whispered urgently.
"Which do you prefer…" Nemu began reading before Nanao put her hand over the paper and directed the girl to the question under it. The captain would kill them if that question was asked.
"If you were to take someone on a date, where would you take them?" Nemu asked, and the girls felt like backing away when the captain glared at them.
"Next question," he muttered dangerously. The girls nervously eyed his hands and noted how close they were to his zanpakutou.
"Is sex important on the first date?" Isane turned away, blushing profusely. They were all lucky to even be alive. She wondered if the captain wasn't just toying with them before he murdered them, or if this was an "I'll get you later" type of deal.
"I refuse to answer that," Byakuya replied, irritation showing in his normally calm demeanor.
Nemu unclipped a photo from the clipboard, bravely approaching the captain's desk and setting it down. Byakuya glanced down to see a photo of Ichigo Kurosaki wearing nothing but a pair of dark jeans, eating a popsicle. Any normal man or woman would have drooled looking at the photo; however, Byakuya simply stared down at it expressionlessly.
"...Would you tap that?" Nemu finally asked, and that was the last straw. Byakuya stood, his hand resting on the hilt of his zanpakutou.
"RUN!" Isane yelled, and the three girls ran for the door before he could unsheathe his sword and slice them to bits.
Byakuya glanced at the door with irritation and stepped away from his desk to shut it. He could never understand why lieutenants kept getting more and more incompetent with each new one promoted. He prayed for the safety of the Gotei 13 that none of them ever became captains.
He made his way back to his desk and tilted his head as he looked down at the photo of Kurosaki. He lifted his eyes, looked towards the window, and then back to the door, before lifting the photo and sliding it into his pocket.
A/N: So, we are finally going to Hueco Mundo and the arrancars are much worse than the others. I am sure a lot of people are happy since a lot of requests were for the arrancars to…
"Hey, put me down!" Ichigo yelled as he tried to break free of Ulquiorra's hold. He was beginning to think it would have been better to take his chances with Kenpachi since the espada would probably be even more aggressive than the vizards.
"Aizen-sama wishes for your presence in Las Noches. However, I believe we should make a stop in my bedroom so I can prepare you," Ulquiorra stated. Ichigo froze. He didn't even want to know what the espada meant by 'prepared.' It almost sounded like he was going to eat him; however, thoughts of a different nature were racing through his mind. Ones in which Ulquiorra was throwing him onto a bed and stripping them both of their clothing before…
Okay, that's enough. He gave himself a mental kick before the scenario in his mind could play out any further.
"There he is!" Ichigo shook himself out of his stupor and glared up at the sixth espada, Grimmjow. "Hand him over!" Grimmjow growled as he approached him.
"No. Aizen-sama said I should bring him, and I am bringing him." Ichigo stared up at Ulquiorra. He had never heard the fourth espada sound so childish, even if he was still speaking in his usual monotone voice.
"Like I fucking care. He's mine!" Grimmjow lunged at Ulquiorra, who dropped Ichigo in favor of drawing his zanpakutou to defend himself. "The berry is mine! I laid my claim on him a long time ago!" he shouted as he swung his blade.
"I saw him before you did, trash. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even have known about him," Ulquiorra retorted, and blocked the other's blade.
"HEY, LET ME GO!" Both stopped in the middle of their battle and turned to see Ichigo being dragged off by several different people who were holding him tightly against them.
"What the fuck! He's–" Grimmjow took a step forward, but Ulquiorra put a hand out in front of him. They watched as their berry disappeared along with the other people. "Why did you fucking stop me?" he snarled at the fourth espada.
"There is nothing we can do for now. There will be no stopping them until they have completed their idiotic episodes that lead to nowhere," Ulquiorra sighed, and began walking off in the direction of Las Noches.
"What do you mean?" Grimmjow asked, his eyes still on the spot where Ichigo had disappeared.
"He is in the hands of the Fillers now," Ulquiorra replied.
We will return to Ichigo's trials in Hueco Mundo another time, for now we are to look into another adventure that is happening, one that everyone dreads. The Filler Chapter