You stared at her picture.
You felt the hot stinging tears that fell from her face. You could hear her screams, her resentment. You did this Malfoy. You were her downfall.
How do you feel Scorpius? Are you nervous? Are you paranoid?
You look outside the window, and you mutter, "The lilies are growing well, they look lovely."
What about the roses? Why don't they look lovely today? Why don't you mention them? Hmm? Maybe because if you utter the name, you'll lose your calm demeanor. You'll lose yourself if you utter her name Malfoy.
You want to be able to hold her, to whisper the truth. You love her, don't you?
Oh don't look at me with that smirk your father taught you. I know how many times you've practiced it in the mirror. How you'd wish that if you'd mastered his skills, you'd be just like him. Mysterious, brooding, dark. You want to be just like your father, don't you Scorpius? You wish you could hide yourself. But you can't. I know how flustered you were when she kissed you. I know how you wrapped your arms around her, and you stopped feeling cold inside. I know how your souls were... connected. I know.
You wish you were like your father, and I know you think you've completely lost it. You think, how much your father would loathe you, abhor you. He would recoil from you, you think he'd scream that you were a traitor.
You think that if you could hold the smirk on your face when you saw her, you'd be just like him. You don't realize how that makes different do you? You meet her in the halls at night, don't you? In the beginning, you'd whisper in her ear, 'This means nothing.'
But she knew it meant everything, because every time you'd whisk her away into the dark depths of your heart, you'd kiss her with such love, that she knew Malfoy. You just wish you could give her more.
I know you Malfoy. You wish it, you wish that you could change this. That you didn't have to slowly kill her inside. You know how she loves you. You love her. It's written on your face as you do everything, when you breathe, when you speak.
You think of your father once her body leaves yours, when she grudgingly walks away from you. You want to sob and smirk at the same exact time but you can't. You want to watch the girl walk away.
But you run to her and you grab her and she kisses you. And you wish that it didn't have to be like this for once, but in these moments she holds your sanity in her small, frail hands. She always does this at the wrong time. You two are two clocks that have different times on it. You know that you'd two would be so wonderful together if you adjusted your timing. But your father taught you never to change your ways. I know he did Scorpius.
I know. I know.
But you thought your father wouldn't love you if you loved her. Oh Scorpius. He'd care for you. Maybe he wouldn't show it, but he isn't your grandfather. He'd fallen for a girl once.
'Of course,' you think, 'my mother.'
But I'm talking about a girl before your mother, your mother mended his heart. There's no doubt he loves her Scorpius. But this girl I'm talking about had the bushiest hair in all of Hogwarts, she was a girl with brains that would only match with those of her daughter, those of the girl you love.
You understand Scorpius? Your father loved her. He loved Hermione Granger.
But you can tell that he never did anything about that. Her name isn't Hermione Granger anymore is it? It's Hermione Weasley. And your father can tell by her glowing face, that she's happy. He thinks she wouldn't be happy with him. I don't know Scorpius. Maybe she would be less happy. Maybe more. No one knows what could have happened. What will happen between you and the girl you love? I don't know. I wish I did so I could tell you.
Oh bugger, I've let slip who you love. Oh dear, that's not too bad. I want the entire world to know Scorpius. I want to scream it so you have this tremendous weight lifted off your shoulders, off Rose Weasley's shoulders.
I want you two to be happy. To laugh, to love properly. The trips down the corridors won't last you long. She's already gotten angry once.
You don't want to lose her. You never do. I see that Scorpius. I see that in those intense grey eyes of yours. I know you. I know that you don't lose yourself like this. Tell me Scorpius, is this how you felt towards all the other girls you fooled around with?
Did you feel the affection pass through your lips? Or did you just put your lips against theirs? Did you feel anything with them? Did you hold them lovingly? Or did you let the moment of passion overtake you and force them into the cold stone of the wall? Did you let them take their time or did you force them to go quickly? Did you want to spend all your time with them? Or did you want them to go as soon as you were done?
Why don't you treat her like them?
Why don't you at least throw her a bone Scorpius? Tell her she's not a play toy? Are you trying to convince yourself that she's nothing but a night in the dark corridors? Tell me Scorpius, why do you avoid her eyes in the hallway the next day? You make yourself look mysterious Scorpius. Oh yes you do. Maybe that's why her heart would break a bit more every time she'd find you and some slag in the library attached by the lips. No one would suspect you if you didn't snog a girl every second Scorpius. Do you know how her heart broke? Do you know how her life was slowly fading every time her friends said every single one of your conquests. Even her bloody cousin James wasn't such a womanizer Scorpius. You broke her. You broke her every day she'd find you with another blonde, another brunette. You ever went for those red heads did you Scorpius? That's what you'd let on at least. You would whisper into her ear, during the nights in the corridors, "My only red head."
Then you'd tussle her hair affectionately, but after you said this a million times, she lost the glimmer in her eyes.
She'd never tell you how you much you meant to her. She didn't want to be the only one in the relationship who spoke their feelings. But it was slowly killing her. Oh if you knew how her family worried when she wouldn't eat. She wanted to be as skinny as your other girls. Oh Scorpius. You could be so naive. You told her you were being "extra careful" about your relationship. Oh I wish you would just hold her in public.
God, you could have just looked at her once.
But you waited for the nighttime. You waited when no one could see. You'd love her at those times Scorpius. You never let her know you loved her during the day, when her hair shone gold and her cheeks were red. You waited till the nighttime. You waited for the time of day when her hair was dark, when her cheeks were white, when her heart really broke, when she wanted to wrap into a ball and never come out. You loved her then. You touched her then, you kissed her sweetly then, you spoke to her then.
I believe that in the dark, your eyes weren't as good. I'd like to believe that's why you couldn't see her sick face staring at yours. I'd like to believe that's why you couldn't see her for who she was turning out to be. She was turning into the remains of Rose Weasley. You never realized. Every time in the library, when she'd find you, you wouldn't look her in the eye. You'd look past her. You'd say something rude in her direction, you'd smirk in her direction. Never to her. You didn't even bother, did you Scorpius?
She'd even take an insult. She'd take anything. But you never gave it to her. You left her in her broken state, holding back her sobs, muttering apologies. And she meant them Scorpius. You were always... showing her how many girls that wanted you. You showed her what would happen if she gave you away. You'd go where ever she went. You wanted everyone to see how she loved you. You just didn't want them to see that you did too. You would do anything to hide it.
She would do anything to show it. But she was scared that would make her lose you. You manipulated her. I love you Scorpius, but you hurt her every day. You hurt me everyday.
I can't hold the charade anymore. I just want you to hold me in front of everyone, the Slytherins, the Griffindors filled with practically my entire family. I don't care Scorpius. I want you to hold me in front of all four houses. I want you to hold me in front of my concerned teachers, and I want you to kiss me. I want you to kiss me tenderly. I want you. I want you so much. Can't you see? I wanted to be yours.
I wanted you to be just mine.
You told me that you never wanted us to be exposed to the world. I was naive. Just like you. I never expected my heart to be so trashed. So miserable. I'd always thought I could handle so much grief, I thought I was invincible. I believe at one point, I was. I didn't see that you were just hiding our love because you didn't want to lose your father's respect.
Oh Scorpius, why? I knew in my soul that we would make it if we tried. I remember Professor Trelawney telling me, "My dear Rose, you have so much hurt in your future. You will be at a fork in your life where you have to keep a secret. You shouldn't keep it."
But I forgot what she told me. I was too in love with you to realize this was what she was predicting.
But I can't change this. Not now. Not when you're so mysterious. Our nights in the corridor, end in you hurrying off, shooing me away, shutting me out. Scorpius, I'm not well. My heart is broken. I'm literally dieing Scorpius.
And it kills. Pun not intended, broken hearts are worse than death Scorp. My heart feels smashed to bits. I don't want to die Scorp. I want to live in our dream world everyday and I just want you to hold me.
But you can't seem to give me the only thing I want. I want you to admit to your father that you do love me.
Tell me the truth Scorpius, did you even think of that possibility that he won't care? He loves you. He doesn't speak it, I saw it in his eyes Scorp. I saw how he stared at you proudly. He couldn't hate you if he tried. I could plain see it from my family's tight knit group.
It was in his eyes.
I can see where you got it from Scorpius. Your father isn't a bad man Scorpius. He wants you to be internally happy, I want you to be internally happy. Please don't hate me Scorpius. I want to think that you can't hate me. But I... I can't tell. Promise Scorp. Promise that you won't ever treat a girl this... harshly. Love her Scorp.
I... I hate to think I'll be... gone.
Oh Scorp. My eyes. They're burning. I just want you to know, my last dieing wish. My last goodbye.
This will sound so cliched. I remember you hate cliches. I remember... how you said... Romeo and Juliet were so stupid.
Then why did we go their path? Oh dear. Oh Merlin, I'm going to die and I hope to Merlin you stay here. Stay here on earth until your time is up Scorp. Don't come with me, okay? Stay and marry a beautiful girl who gets you, and... treat her right? Okay? Have babies and treat them like they are these... wonderful golden miracles. Don't name them horrible names okay? I don't want your child to be named a horribly boring name like Rose, and I know how much you detest your name, but I love it. You know how I thought stars were the best thing in the night. You thought I would love it more with our nights in the corridor, but I don't. I don't love the scary feeling that you don't really think of me more than a... buddy you can fuck in the night. I don't love the dark and I don't love the quiet or the cold. I loved your touch though. Oh Scorpius. I loved how you would hold me. It was one of the ways I could tell you did love me. Oh I feel so foolish. Oh Merlin, I feel like a little girl when I remember you do, in fact, love me.
My last goodbye, is simply: I love you. A broken heart can beat till it's gone Scorp, but I'll love you when it's not beating. I'll try to remember you when I pass on to whatever is past the grave. Who knows, maybe I'll be a star Scorp, I'd like to think so. You would look up and you'd see me, but... oh I don't want you to be reminded of me every day. Oh Scorp,
Time is running out.
Don't forget me!
Oh please do!
I wish that your lips were on mine, but oh, no I don't!
Oh Scorpius! Tears are running down my hollow cheeks, I'm hollow.
I love you!
I'm dieing too soon! No.
Please. Please don't... don't leave me...
Watch the stars, watch the roses, notice things. I'll be with you always...
I don't want to leave you ever. But I must.
You stare at my picture. You feel the hot stinging tears that last fell from my face. You could hear my last screams, my resentment. You didn't mean to do this Scorpius. You weren't my downfall.
How do you feel Scorpius? Are you sad? Are you peaceful?
You look outside the window, and you mutter, "Your roses are so beautiful, Rosy. They look lovely."
I'm right there with you Scorpius. I always am. I hate to be a reminder, but you always call me back. And I keep reliving the hurt because you'll never told your father. You are so naïve, my love. You'll never learn. I love you anyways. Your childness is something I love.
I, Rose Weasley, love you. And you, Scorpius Malfoy, finally told me you loved me too. But it's too late my love.
It's just too late.
Thanks guys! My first Rose/ Scorpius story I really like! If you'd review, I'd be the happiest/ luckiest girl in the world! ;)