A/N: So, hi there! This looks like my first fic for SM (it is, very much so). I've read a few fics here and there, and SM has been one of my long time loves. So I wanted to write for it, finally. I'm gonna be honest and say I have no idea where this exactly came from. I'm gonna say I had some idea as to what I wanted to do with it, which I did. However I lost that somewhere in the middle and it got all...weird. So if its confusing I'm sorry! Anyways, I usually like Senshi/Senshi pairings, and Pluto is always an interesting character to write for. So this, here? Was a random idea. I won't claim to know much about the SM unverise but I'd like to think I got a good idea of it. So I apologize for any OOCness you may possibly find, and any other things I might have messed up on. The title comes from the Marilyn Manson song (I have weird tastes.)
Its not really, romantic I guess. But you can take it however you want. It was originally intended to be strictly Mars/Pluto oneshot. (Strange, no?) But then something happened and it just turned into something else. Ahhh well, regardless. I hope you enjoy it, and what not. No beta on this one, so many apologies on mistakes made and what not.
Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon or the characters used in this. Or even the title of this thing, which comes from a song. So I own nothing, kay? We good now?
"Do you ever get burned by it?"
The Senshi of Mars doesn't open her eyes, but her focus is lost slightly because of the intruding voice. Hot beads of sweat trickle down eyebrows, running along smooth skin…
"Shouldn't you know?"
Mars retorts, scoffing. The flames of the Scared fire flicker.
"Perhaps, but even I do not hold the knowledge of every single thing."
Amethyst eyes open, staring straight into thickly hot flames.
"Why are you here?"
Mars - Rei Hino as she is known in this time - asks.
"I do not know."
Is the response, but the Senshi of Mars can discern truth from fiction. Even in this lifetime she can slip past worn, hard barriers, and set everything on fire.
"But you should."
The Guardian of the Time Gates stands stiffly behind her. Its hard for even Setsuna Meioh to understand things, despite being the Senshi of Time. The wielder of the Garnet Rod, Sailor Pluto… a myriad of other things.
She reasons after a moment or two of sickly hot silence. Everything burns, and smoulders…
Why am I?
"I suppose even the Guardian of Time can't understand it."
Rei closes her eyes again, feeling out the flames she seeks solace in so often. Setsuna watches quietly, idly wondering what it is.
Time is strange.
It can slide by so smoothly, seeping away through everything in moments and seconds. Or it can move slowly, sucking away at lives at a sluggish pace. Fast, slow, it changes, untameable as it is. Even Sailor Pluto cannot exactly explain it, why it does as it does, or how it moves and sneaks away.
Its kind of like fire, hot burning flames. Controlled like in a small lit candle, or it can be more untameable. Whipping around, suckling on the flammable, turning things into ashes…
As a Senshi, not just a Senshi of Time either. It can lose meaning to one. Disappearing, sinking away in some unknown drain somewhere else. Sometimes they forget that they are human beings. That they are allowed some small freedoms, like quiet summer days, or warm evenings, people they love. These things are small compared to what they have seen.
Like saving the entire world.
Sometimes, those bigger things, take over what one tries to remember. Sometimes it gets muddled, and they lose sight of the small things…
Time is weird like that it seems.
Forgetting days of the week, what time it is, things like that don't seem astronomical. But then neither do other things, like when Rei wakes up in sweat and tears. Her dreams terribly haunting, dying seemed too simple.
They all know this, dying is the easy part.
But Setsuna understands time better then the rest of them, or at least she should.
And yet, she cannot silence her own fears. Maybe that's why she finds this place so easily in the dead of night. When most are sleeping peacefully in their beds, their dreams warm and fulfilling.
Maybe. The Senshi of Mars has fears too.
The future is picturesque.
Pretty, peaceful, perfect. Mostly.
Pluto doesn't know everything though, despite standing guard at the Gates of Time for so long. She knows fate is a fickle thing, that throws tantrums worse then any small child ever could. It can be vindictive, and cruel too. She knows this better then some, because, after-all. She watched them die, before her eyes. Not being able to leave, to fight, to defend. It killed her.
Then Pluto got her chance and she died anyways.
Fate is ironic like that, no?
"Why is it so easy?"
Rei asks, and Setsuna cranes her head slightly to stare at her. Her own face remaining dispassionate as she allows the Senshi of Mars to speak.
Rei doesn't look at her, merely stares off quietly at the dark clouds. It's going to rain, Setsuna knows. But it isn't at all foreseeing knowledge from the Gates of Time that tell her this. It's merely the smell of rain lingering in the air outside that does.
"It was easy."
Mars - Rei states after a moment or two.
"Stepping in front of that killing blow from Galaxia. It was really easy, especially if it meant that Usagi would be safe."
Setsuna says nothing.
"…But why? Everything else now…its…harder."
There's a small crack in her voice, splintering between strength and complete brokenness. Crimson eyes lower slightly, finding a small patch of bare skin running down the side of her neck, creamy and exposed. Setsuna forces her gaze towards something else in the distance.
The Senshi of Time starts slowly, her words soft. Mostly calm, even, expect for that small tingle of something else meshing into them.
She states, Rei finally stares at her for the first time. Eyes widening slightly, mouth moving but the words refusing to come out.
A rain drop pelts her softly on the cheek.
It's really only a matter of time.
Sometimes lives are intertwined together.
Their grasped and forced into unchangeable positions. Even when one wishes to escape, its seemly impossible. Its hard to fight fate, because for some reason it always wins.
Sailor Pluto knows this, well. She understands it and heeds most warnings. She follows her orders, and would surely follow them to her death - again - if needed. She gets it.
Setsuna Meioh does not, really understand it. Despite being Sailor Pluto first, and Setsuna Meioh second. Simply because as she sees what she sees, she knows something is amiss. The world as it is, is fine. Its destructive, cruel and unforgiving to some. But then its also warm, caring and loving too.
And now, its disconnecting to her.
Fate always wins.
While she knows this, exactly as it is. She also really wishes it wouldn't, because sometimes, she wants to at least pretend that she's somewhat normal. That she's simply not just the Guardian of Time, Sailor Pluto.
She also knows the others wish the same too, especially one Senshi of Mars.
That might be why it bothers her at all now. Sailor Pluto has tasted temptation before. Felt it sink under bones and crawl up her spine. Watched it strangle her, pull her away from the realm of sanity for a time. She's seen perilous destruction created because of it, so she knows, much about it.
She deeply wishes she didn't know anything, sometimes.
Especially when she watches Rei fall asleep, twisting and turning. Mumbling incoherent names, clutching onto the sheets, and then the tears. They are always the worst, because they make her stomach lurch forward, and her heart to crack.
Setsuna almost always wants to reach out for the Senshi of Mars. But when she's inches away from that angelic face, she pulls back.
Their lives are intertwined, but aren't exactly. Mars and Pluto aren't fated to be together, unless you count their lives as Senshi.
Still sometimes, Setsuna feels temptation knocking on her door. Begging her to open up, and let it in.
She just can't.
Even if she wishes to be as defiant as possible, she simply won't. Because as Senshi of Time, she knows things. She especially knows, that no matter what.
Fate always seemly wins, somehow.
"Do you find much solace in those flames of yours Mars?"
Setsuna asks from her spot, just behind Rei. Who automatically opens her amethyst coloured eyes at the voice.
"Yes. Where do you find yours Pluto?"
Setsuna doesn't answer and Rei stands slowly. Sweat dripping from her forehead and small smile on her flustered face. Setsuna can feel temptation crawling up the back of her spine again.
"You're here again."
"As I was a few days ago as well."
Rei's eyes darken at the mention of that rainy day.
"Yes, you were."
"And you were also here a night or two ago…"
If Setsuna is surprised at this, she doesn't show it on her face. Merely nods once more.
"You have nightmares, sometimes."
"I do, but you do too, I'm sure of it."
The silence is sucked up by the amount of time that passes. Its like that you see, time encompasses everything eventually.
She admits, sometime later. When the two are quietly sitting on the steps of the Hikawa Shrine in the crisp afternoon.
"You've been through more, though."
Setsuna says nothing to this. Feeling as though, there is nothing to exactly say. Because surely Setsuna has seen more, then what they have. They have some memories of the past life, some small idea of what it was like. But Setsuna has seen it all, she has the memories buried deep in the back of her mind, and sometimes. They seem to haunt her.
"I think, I understand what you meant by it now, though."
Mars - no Rei - cranes her gaze towards Setsuna. Memories haunt and burn at old wounds.
"And I don't."
She says softly, her own gaze locking with Rei's.
"I don't at all understand it. But I'm probably not supposed, none of us are really supposed to I don't think. We just do as we're told too, give our lives for something that could and could not possibly happen. The future changes a lot, it might not be exactly like they told us."
Setsuna pauses quietly, her gaze breaking away from Rei's. A sinking feeling building in the bottom of her stomach.
"I don't think it will be like this forever though."
Setsuna smile a little bit.
"You have your mission and I have mine. So enjoy whatever small things you can now Mars…Rei."
Fate is a strange fickle creature that grows stronger the longer time carries over. It effects all lives, and all people in some small way. Sailor Pluto, sometimes has to speak for it, to defend it, and fight for it.
Sometimes she doesn't want to. But she does anyway, as it is apart of her own fate. Being the Guardian of the Time Gates. it's a bitter pill to swallow, but she has come accustomed to such unfair things in this life.
Even if there is some childish untamed part of her that wishes she could make her own future. Free of duty and this crushing solitude.
Pluto found her solace in Mars for a time, at least.
She knows though what fate wants, and while she wants to fight it. She won't because fate always wins in the end, and she herself knows some sacrifices must be made for the greater good.
Dying was the easy part…
It's the ramifications of what happens when your brought back, that seem to make it hard. Especially for Sailor Pluto, who knows now better then anyone. How so much can be lost in moments.
The future can change in a second, Pluto's job involves insuring its survival. Time is like fire, burning, smouldering, shaping things, and turning them into ash.
Setsuna Meioh, tries valiantly not to think about those possibilities. But the scars are there, burned into her flesh.
She just can't stand it sometimes.