Author's Notes: Okay, this is the weirdest Avenue Q fic ever. I'm not really feeling this particular chapter, so yeah. The acutal bothering of Avenue Q characters will be in chapter two or something. I honestly don't like this first chapter, so I will make chapter two understandable even without reading this chapter. Yeah, I'll update soon. If you see the next chapter up, I highly recommend to skip this and read that. For those of you who do wanna read this, here ya go.

I own nothing but the odd kiddies.

Field Trip to Avenue Q


A young boy, lying across the newly-vacuumed floor, started, hitting his head on the bottom of the beat-up couch next to him. He turned, rubbing the back of his head, to the source of the ear-splitting noise. "What?"

"YES! Yes, yes, yes!" shouted a girl, literally jumping on her seat. "I GOT IT!"

"Got what?" asked the boy, Grey, looking at his older friend.

"The Avenue Q back-up puppets!" replied the girl excitedly. "These were actually used by the original Broadway cast when the real puppets were being cleaned! And I got it!"

"What?" repeated the boy, lying back down on the floor.

"On eBay," said the girl, finally lowering her voice, "it was selling. A bid by some guy who doesn't want it anymore. I got it for a thousand bucks."

"WHAT?!" bellowed Grey in undertones of shock, sitting up so suddenly that he became momentarily dizzy. "You paid a grand for puppets?"

The girl, J, scoffed. "Not just any puppets. Avenue Q puppets."

When Grey opened his mouth to argue, J added, "All of them. Kate, Princeton, NICKY, Rod, Trekkie Monster...ALL of them."

Grey grinned after a moment of silence. "Sweet. I call Trekkie."

"No you don't," snapped J sharply. Atmosphere changing dramatically, she towered over the boy like a wild animal protecting her young ones, "I paid for them with my own money. You know, since I save and not blow everyting I've got off girls..."

Grey rolled his eyes. "Can it."

There was a distant noise of footsteps and, suddenly, two girls entered the room, both looking as though Christmas had come early.

The smaller of the two, Cole, grinned like the Cheshire Cat. "Well, hello, ladies..." she said, looking back and forth between J and Grey. "Don't we have a surprise for you..."

The girl beside her, April, smirked, holding out a few pieces of paper in front of them.

Grey bounced to his feet, running to the paper held out to him by his 'older' sister. Smiling, April raised the papers over her head, out of the boy's reach.

J turned back to her laptop, typing as fast as she could to seal the bid. The nonstop 'click-click-click' sound of the keyboard filled the room, jumping off each wall to punctuate the current silence.

Cole walked over to her friend, looking at the laptop screen that was completely covered in numbers,words, and money signs.
"Ooh, you won the bid after all..."

J smiled triumphantly, "I know..."

"Y'know, we got front row seats to Avenue Q for tomorrow night..."

"Great. Yeah. I know."

"Okay, then..." Cole rolled her eyes, ignoring J's lack of enthusiasm. She turned to her friends, thoughtfully leaning against the nearest wall. "Wouldn't it be fun to visit Avenue Q? For real?"

April and Grey nodded in unison, "Of course."

J, who had now secured her purchase, looked over to see three kids with the same facial expression. The one that basically shouted: 'DEEP IN THOUGHT'

Still, she too imagined the happiness of finally meeting the adult puppets. Talking with Trekkie about porn, annoying Princeton about never finding his purpose, forcing Rod out of the closet, and, (OMG) going on a date with Nicky. Her face lit up considerably, a blush forming on her cheeks. Nicky! The cutest, jobless, sweetest, laziest green puppet in the whole universe! If she ever met him...well, let's just say Rod would kill her...


"Okay, the subway should be here any minute..."

The four kids sat, fidgeting excitedly, on cracked blue plastic chairs on the filthy subway station. Cole glanced at the battered clock above them. The arrival time of each subway was next to it, behind a peeling plastic cover. Even though the sun wasn't to leave until later, the clouds covered up any chance of light.

'This sucks,' thought Cole, 'I had us leave extra early so we'll be near the theatre before dark...but...'

With a loud noise, a voice in the intercom announced, "Subway to Avenue Q. Please board as quickly as you can."

The kids froze, wildly looking around, the same thought running through each other's head: 'WTF?'

There was a loud hissing noise behind them, the kind the door of a subway makes as it opens. Surprised, they all turned around. They hadn't heard anything after the speakers confused them, let alone an approaching subway. Nevertheless, the kids slowly walked towards their waiting ride, not a single word exchanged between them. When they reached the door, April, who was leading them, stopped suddenly, causing all of them to bump into each other. She looked at Cole with a questioning look on her face. After a moment of slient arguing, not requiring spoken words, the speakers warned that the subway was to leave in one minute. Cole closed her eyes and nodded vigorously to April, giving her the command. Slowly, April walked into the subway, the others following suit. No sooner had they all entered, the subway, with a sudden burst of speed, charged into the everlasting darkness of the underground. The lights went off, and the four teenagers, horrified, huddled close to each other on the cold floor, wishing that the ride would just end.

What did they get themselves into?




The subway, thankfully, came to a sudden stop after suddenly going a million miles an hour. The ride took about twenty minutes. At the fifteen minute mark, it was just a blur so fast you would've missed it if you had blinked. It was going well over five-hundred, although that didn't seem possible for anything heavier than...well, nothing. (We're talking about over five-hundred per millisecond, people. O_o)

So, naturally, the stop sent everyone on board flying. Oddly enough, there were only four passengers. No driver. The teens got up after they had calmed down enough (April was about to cry and Grey had already cried). As the lights turned back on in the subway, a voice announced in an official tone through invisible speakers: "We have reached Avenue Q. Please watch your step as you leave. Thank you for riding with us, we hope you will again."

The moment the doors opened, the terrified kids ran out, Grey screaming: "LAND! Oh, land!" He fell to the ground and simply lay on his stomach, trying to embrace the dirty cement floor. April slowly sank to her knees before completely breaking down. The only ones not crying were J and Cole, but they did look thorougly shaken. Cole turned around to find that the subway had disappeared. In fact, the place seemed almost...normal. When they had ran out of the subway, it was completely silent and deserted. Now, the station was filled with people, all going about their daily lives. The air was full of talk and smoke, and everyone didn't seem to notice a subway had just stopped to drop off four hyperventalating kids after shooting through the underground. It wasn't even dark anymore! Yup, the sun was shining beautifully above them. Well, at least they didn't notice the subway. The kids were now getting the attention of some people. Finally, a woman walked over to them.

"Are you children alright?" she asked in a gentle, kind voice. "You look like you four jumped off a plane..."

"That would've been better," croaked J after finding her voice.

"What happened?"



"Well, see--"

"We just missed our ride," interrupted Cole quickly. "We ran trying to catch it on time, but we didn't make it."

"Oh..." the woman said. She smiled, understanding. "Well, I hope you can get on the next stop..."

"Yes, us, too," chuckled Cole. "Thank you for..."

"Oh, don't worry, sweetie. Well, goodbye then. Good luck."

"Thank you. You, too."

As the woman left, Cole relaxed slightly before helping her friends up. A few people had noticed kids were on the ground looking exhausted and as though a ghost just appeared, and she didn't want anymore people asking if they were 'okay'.

"Let's go..." Cole told them quietly, not wanting to be heard.

The other three nodded, following their 'leader'. Cole had always been the one they looked up to; she was the most mature and resembled a parent figure the most among them. In fact, her mind was more grown-up than her body. They all knew the reason she lied to the lady. And to every adult, for that matter. It was because of the number one rule in her book: "Never trust anyone but yourself."


"So...anyone got money on them?"

Grey, leaning against a rusty lamp pole, held onto his stomach tightly. "I'm hungry..."

April glanced at him quickly before returning her gaze to Cole, who was currently using the phone booth beside them. "I'll feed you later."

J, trying to flatten out a torn-up, damp map, asked Cole without looking up, "Where are we anyway?"

Cole put the phone down after unsuccessfully trying to use it. "This doesn't even work. It's probably just a prop or something..." She took a phonebook from a cramped space under the phone. Opening it, she began to scan the the first few pages.

"Could you find the nearest pizza place?" asked Grey hopefully, arms still around his rumbling stomach. When he was met with silence, he sighed, closing his eyes with defeat. His stomach would have non of that. It began to growl ferociously, reminding Grey that it needed to be filled, so much until its owner bellowed desperately, "Anything's fine too! I'll even take random stuff on those weird stands..."
In his mind, Grey saw all the kinds of

Cole looked up, apologetically, at her now-drooling friend.
'I'll treat them to a buffet later...' she mentally promised herself. Slowly, she returned her attention back to the phone book and continued to study the page she had left on.
Suddenly, her eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly in awe.

This did not go unnoticed; April, Grey, and J all gathered around their frozen leader and looked at where her eyes were stuck on in the third page of the book. Grey's jaw dropped and April gasped, clasping her hands to her mouth. J, like Cole, just stared at the page in disbelief.

Finally, Cole said, "I don't believe it..."

Grey nodded trance-like, "It's true..."

April mouthed: "O-M-G."

J jumped up and down, hissing, "This has got to be true..."

And, all in unison, the kids cried out: "WE'RE IN AVENUE Q!"

And this, my friends, is where the fun begins...