"Seriously, Princeton, just untie us already! Look, the kids ain't gonna care!" Gary yelled angrily, trashing about even with rope tying him securely to Brian. "The hell's wrong with you?"
"Nothing," snickered the orange man, all-too-casually leaning against the railing of the small steps to the apartment complex. "But why should I undo those nice, tight knots? I mean, those girls probably spent a lot of time and effort just roping you two up, huh?"
"You little son of a—"
"Hey, guys, what's all this fuss about?" called out Grey from the opposite side of the street. He had decided to keep an eye out for Trekkie Monster from a distance because it was fairly difficult to constantly crane his neck just so he could see if the "awesome pervert" glanced out the shutters of his window. But in his current position, he could easily see Trekkie's window and keep an eye on Brian and Gary. Why Cole insisted they had to remain tied up was beyond him...
"Grey, tell Princeton here to untie us!" shouted the former child star as he attempted to kick the college grad "where it hurts".
"Please? I really gotta head home soon," added Brian tiredly, sore from sitting on concrete for such a long time. "My wife's gonna be really pissed."
"Christmas Eve?" Grey grinned, recalling how Cole had memorized the wedding scene from the musical, including Rod's 'My Girlfriend Who Lives in Canada.'
"You know her?"
"Eh, the same way we all know you guys!"
"So like stalkers?" interrupted Princeton happily, hurrying across the street to get to the young teenager. Behind him, Gary began swearing.
"Hell no. We don't stalk, let's get that clear. No, no, we observe and happen to be in the same place at the same time, and that is not stalking!" Grey puffed his chest out defiantly and glared at what supposedly was Trekkie's window.
"Uh-huh. So...watcha think of Lucy...?"
"If you were gay~!"
"That'd be okay~!"
"I mean cuz, hey! Ha!"
"I like you ANYWAY!"
"Nicky, how dare you teach a young girl that song!" reprimanded Rod furiously, his face turning a dark shade of purple. "Hell, it's already wrong two under-aged teenagers are in our apartment! Us! Two total strangers!"
"Woah, calm down, Rod! I didn't even know she knew my song! She just started humming the tune!"
"Then how the hell was there music playing?"
"Ooh!" J threw her hand up brightly, not unlike the way an enthusiastic student might to offer their answer to a teacher. "It's my mp3! I totally have the karaoke versions of all Avenue Q songs on my phone!"
While an interested Nicky chatted J up, Rod was tapped from behind. Startled slightly, he whipped around to come face-to-face with a serious looking Cole. "Is something wrong, sweetie?" he asked in a concerned voice.
"No, no. I—I was wondering if you have a phone..."
"Oh, of course! Of course..." Grinning, he led her over to the small kitchen and handed her the wireless phone on the tiny island. As an afterthought, he pulled out the local phonebook ("Avenue A-Z!") from the shelf above the refrigerator.
"Ooh, thanks! You totally read my mind!" Cole beamed, accepting both items.
"Well, I just assumed you'd want to call someone to pick you up..." Rod admitted with a small smile.
"Oh, no! We live downstairs! Trekkie is one above us!"
"Y-you moved in? When?" Daaang. Gary sure knew how to fill up apartments quickly. Maybe he deserved more credit than they gave him.
"Just today! Pretty sweet, huh?"
"H-how old are you?"
"Under eighteen is all I can say!" All smiles, Cole scurried off farther away and busied herself with the items Rod had given her.
He didn't think too much of it though; no, he figured that the child probably just wanted privacy, and he could very well relate to that.
Unfortunately, the other two could not.
"So what should it matter to me what you DO IN BED WITH GUYS!"
"Nicky! J! Stop this instant!"
"OHEMGEE, YOU REMEMBERED MY NAME!"
"IF YOU WERE GAY—!"
And so their fighting continued.
Somewhere on the other side of the room, Cole was speaking in hushed whispers with the person on the other end of the line. "Just be here as soon as you can!" she spoke, attempting to sound like a male. "I don't care—uh-huh—wait, damn it! I freakin' mean now!"
She didn't wait for a response.
Smirking triumphantly, she hit the 'end' button.
"Rod, mewling now, carefully stared into the eyes of his lover. Could it be? That after all those years of pining and moping, he'd finally get the chance to be with the love of his life? The reason for his existence?
"A green hand slowly cupped his cheek and brushed away the tears he had not realized he was shedding. His fantasies were really about to come true! With a small laugh, Nicky leaned in close and whispered those three, little words that his best friend had desired for so long to hear:
"W-wait! Stop this instant!" a blushing Rod almost shrieked, pushing himself up from the couch. "What exactly are you going on about?"
With an innocent shrug, J answered readily, "Fanfiction."
"Fanfiction. I wrote that particular one right after we saw your musical!"
"Hey, is the ending naughty?" interrupted Nicky mischievously, watching as his best friend flushed for the hundredth time that day.
Before Rod could come up with an embarrassed, reproachful comment that probably would have made them all laugh, J shook her head and sighed. "No. Cole doesn't think I should be writing that kind of fics."
"Yeah," said-girl affirmed, nodding her head. "She has no clue how...it...goes."
"True. But hey, if you want kinky stuff, ask April. She writes the best kinds of 'M' stories ever!"
Nicky snickered, running a hand through his already-messy hair. He personally had no idea what had been said and done the whole day, but frankly, as long as Rod was just as confused, he could care less.
It was the most fun he'd had in a while after all!
It took thirty minutes of arguing about Grey's unusual talent for writing "freakin' amazing one-shots" (Nicky was eating chips while Rod checked his e-mails) before the doorbell rang. Somewhat relieved, the investment banker shut his laptop closed before rising—that is, of course, until Cole dashed for the door herself.
When she opened it, a tall, muscular (and very familiar) green man let himself in with a huff. "The hell you callin' me over for, Nick?" he called into the apartment, ignoring Cole's death glare.
"R-Ricky?" gasped Rod, frozen in his spot standing by the coffee-table. He nervously stared at his ex-boyfriend. "Why are you here?"
With a shrug, he sat himself on the couch next to Nicky, slapping the chips from his hands. "This ass over here said he needed to tell me something."
"Aww. You spilled my food!"
"Shut the hell up. What do you want me here for? To take him back?" He jerked his head towards a very distressed Rod's direction.
"Hell no!" yelled J and Cole angrily, both sets of eyes glowing bright red. (If Grey had been there, he would have visualized both girls with flames behind them. Just like in real hell.)
Ricky eyed them warily.
Okay, first, he already had to put up with Rod's constant anal tendencies, and inevitably, the denial that he was in love with his clueless roommate. (And to him, this made no sense as Ricky felt that he was a pretty awesome guy who could get anyone he wanted. But nooo, Rod had to go and become distracted over the same guy mooching off him for the past decade or so, leaving him to feel like second best. And ohoho, Ricky refused to be second best.) Besides, that jobless moron was ignorant enough to be completely aware of his own wavering sexual preference! But now this…two young chicks? What were these guys sinking to? Pedophilia?
He sighed, turning back to the main source of his agitation. "I'm not interested."
"Screw you! Rod wouldn't ask for you back if you had a gun to his head!"
"Yeah, and Nicky could totally beat the crap out of you! You—you jerk!" J mentally kicked herself for her lack of swear words.
"Nicky is just a pile of crap," replied Ricky coolly, crossing his muscular arms.
Even with an excessive amount of muscles, getting tackled by two teenaged fangirls had clearly never crossed his mind. So when they did just that, yelling out battle cries ("RodXNicky FOREVER!") and vows of revenge, Ricky was completely overpowered and he hit the ground with a huge THUD.
The two roommates allowed the girls about three-and-a-half minutes (that half counted a lot) before pulling them up. It took more effort to restrain them since they were flailing and kicking.
As far as Ricky went, he looked just about as broken as he would if mugged—bruises, scratches, bite marks...Cole even managed to write "ROD AND NICKY LOVE" on his forehead with permanent marker.
He laid there, dazed and out of breath, before sitting up and gazing blankly ahead.
"Is he okay?" muttered Rod nervously, holding J by her shoulders. "What did you do to him?"
"Not enough," spat Cole in disgust, struggling against Nicky's hold of her arms. Normally this would excite her to no end (provoking a series of squeals and "Kyaaa!"s) but now, all that mattered was for Ricky not to leave the building without officially admitting in a very public matter that he indeed did not deserve Rod and was an avid Rod-slash-Nicky supporter himself.
"Hahahah. You look screwed up, dude," chuckled Nicky appreciatively, nodding as though he wanted to emphasize just how much he approved of this situation. "Maybe we shoulda let them have more fun, Roddy."
"Nicholas, don't you dare encourage this type of behavior!" The blue-skinned man threw a sharp glare at his long-time roommate's direction as the latter's grip on the struggling girl slackened. Before he could open his mouth to angrily point that fact out, Cole had already broken free and made a dash for the beaten Ricky.
A Ricky who was still out of it and sitting, completely vulnerable, on the floor.
He didn't even see the homicidal teenager preparing to pounce on him, intent on introducing him—and specifically his crotch—to whole new levels of pain.
"Sucks to be YOU, asshole!"
A/N: *Le gasp!* I updated? Whaaaa?
Yes, I did not forget this fic. Though it has been over half a year, I haven't really given up on it. But I cannot promise quick updating and stuff like that...so, I apologize.
Hey, thanks if you're still reading this! I'm sure some of you gave up on it, and frankly, I can't blame you. Hahahaha, Yes...
I don't really like Ricky. Even though it's canon. *Sigh*
RodXNicky for life! XP