Disclaimer - I own nothing in the world of Twilight, it all belongs to Stephanie Meyer and company.
Summary - The Cullens, sans Jasper, leave Bella. Because of Alice leaving him, Jasper stays behind, unsure what else to do. Love blossoms somewhere along the way. Not compliant after the first few chapters of New Moon. Non-canon, OOC. I like my Bella a little more confident; not so obsessive and needy. Rated M for sexual content, eventually.
Going to be a chaptered story, but I don't set times and days for updates, sorry. It won't be updated every week by any means, but I just wanted to see if I should even bother. Review and let me know if you'd like more chapters!
The wind whipped by me at what felt like a hundred miles an hour, the forest around me blurring into nothing but a green and brown mess. I took lungful after lungful of crisp evening air, allowing the previous smell that had overtaken me to fade into nothingness. If I had a human heart, it probably would be beating at a pace that would surely cause a heart attack. I couldn't even think clearly; all I could focus on was breathing, however unnecessary, and attempting to get as much distance between me and the source of the smell.
I couldn't help but increase my pace even more, just the mere thought of her propelling me further and further away. I counted my inhales and then multiplied the number by itself on the exhale, strictly trying to keep my brain focused on anything but her. I actually made it to seventeen million, six hundred forty eight thousand, four hundred and one, which would be four thousand, two hundred and one inhales, before I slowed to a jog, which, in human pace, would have been a very fast run.
Mid-stride, I fell to my knees and pulled up earth as I skidded to a stop some five feet away from where I had initially dropped. My face fell into my hands and I could feel my body begin to convulse with sobs, but my eyes betrayed me by not allowing the tears to fall, as they would have if I were human. On second thought, I was surprised tears of sorrow, guilt, regret, shame, were not leaking from every pore on my body. The gravity of what I had done, along with what I would have done, was beginning to sink in, and the only thing I wanted, more than anything, was to be human again… to be able to release this bomb that now resonated in my stomach. Right now, I wanted nothing more than to die some kind of horrible painful death. Perhaps that would be a fitting punishment for my crime.
I could feel his trepidation before I heard him. He was attempting to contain his anger – no, fury – but was doing a poor job of it. I tried to calm myself, but I couldn't. Here I was, the chill pill, losing my composure completely. Edward was close enough to hear my thoughts and I felt the fury die down to anger, then to confusion, and by the time he placed his hand on my shoulder, concern. My mouth open with a gut wrenching sob and words just began to tumble out.
I spoke in every language I knew, repenting to Edward, apologizing and begging for forgiveness. I told him how stupid, weak, and pathetic I was. I told him that I knew he could never fully forgive me, and just to tear me apart and set me ablaze awhile he had the chance to. I felt my dead heart shattering as I confessed my idiocy and grief over the pain I know I've caused my entire family, Bella being first and foremost. I was thankful that he just stood there and listened, his hand never straying from my shoulder as I blubbered on.
I'm not sure whether it was because her emotions were the same as Edward's, or perhaps it was just because I was too wrapped up in my own feelings to notice, but suddenly Alice was there when I finished and I wasn't sure how long she had actually been standing there. My emotions were still too out of control to completely gauge hers, but for some reason, I felt a little scared. She seemed to be closing off her emotions, something she very rarely did. Her lithe body was suddenly mirroring my position, her face a few inches from mine.
Her hands slid up my arms before covering my hands, gently removing them from my face to look in my eyes. Typically, Alice has an impeccable ability to calm me with just a look, but for some reason I was suddenly unnerved. I felt Edward's hand tighten on my shoulder. I opened my mouth to ask her what was wrong, but she just shook her head.
"I'm sorry I didn't warn you, Jazz," she said in a low voice.
"How could you have known?" I asked.
"I," Alice started, but then paused, looking to Edward for assistance.
"Jasper, Alice had an interesting vision while wrapping Bella's present," he began. "She saw that Bella would get a paper cut, but couldn't gauge either of our reactions. She decided that you were strong enough to handle that, but it was my fault that you lost control."
"How could you ever blame yourself, Edward?" I asked, not understanding.
"I pushed her into the table, Jasper," he murmured. "I have a feeling you probably could have controlled yourself just fine. But when her arm slit, you could feel everyone's instant thirst, and I'm sure that was more than anyone could take."
I hadn't thought of that. It was true that I was washed with an insatiable thirst for her in that moment, but I never stopped to think it could be for reasons other than just my inability to control myself.
"We're leaving," Alice said, her sing-song voice no longer bubbly, but deadly serious. I simply just stared, unsure what she meant. She answered my unasked question. "The whole family is leaving, Jasper. Edward no longer wants to feel as though he is putting Bella in permanent danger and –."
"I'll leave," I said, interrupting her. "Not everyone, just me. I don't want to be the reason we emotionally kill Bella. It's me who needs to leave. Edward shouldn't leave Bella."
"I want to," Edward said from behind me. "No matter if it's just you or all of us, if I don't leave, Bella will never be safe. It has nothing to do with you Jasper, this isn't the reason. I was planning on leaving anyway."
"But you'll kill her," I said bluntly, and I felt both Edward and Alice cringe.
"No," Alice said slowly, "she'll be okay."
"How can you say that?" I asked, becoming angry that they didn't understand the gravity of Bella's love. "I've felt her emotions when around Edward, and they're full of nothing but devotion and love. I've also felt her when she thought she could potentially never see him again, and I could practically feel her heart breaking from there mere thought of it."
"Jasper," Alice whispered, "I've seen it. She'll be okay."
I was beginning to get even more frustrated now, and all I wanted was to go back a hundred and fifty years or so in order to wake up from this nightmare. "How will she be okay, Alice?"
"Because she'll have you."
"Yes, but…," I started but then stopped. The words had left my mouth before I had actually heard her, and I had to take a moment to recollect my thoughts. "What do you mean she'll have me?"
"I saw you coming with us, but your guilt was too much and you came back here," Alice said clearly. "I saw you begging for forgiveness, which is unnecessary, by the way. She thinks that there's nothing to forgive… odd girl, she is," Alice said mystically.
It all finally clicked into place. "Let me get this straight, then," I said, releasing Alice's hand and standing up, shaking off Edward's hand. "Basically you're telling me that you all are leaving… meaning everyone but me."
"Yes," Alice said simply, and I could feel Edward's awkwardness seeping from him behind me.
"How could you do that, Alice?" I asked, my non-existent heart officially tattered.
"Jazz, I love you, I do, but we weren't meant to be together," she said simply, as though I already knew it. "I couldn't see this far ahead, but I knew we needed to be here, and I brought you here. I'm happy with the life that we shared together, but it's time for it to be over."
So fast I almost didn't see her, she closed the distance between us and stood on her toes to wrap her arms around my neck. I didn't hug her back. "How could you do this to me, Alice?"
"Because," she whispered against my neck, "it's time to move on. We've been together the normal human amount of time, and I know we'll be better off this way. I love you, Jasper."
"I love you, too," I replied automatically. I suddenly realized this could potentially be our last hug and I instantly wrapped my arms around her, pressing her against me as hard as I could. "Please don't do this, sweetheart, please. I love you so much. Please don't leave me. I don't think I can be without you." I knew begging wasn't the most attractive thing, but in that moment I didn't care; in that moment, I was losing my wife and anything would have been acceptable to me.
"Oh, Jasper, it seems horrible, but it'll all work out. Trust me. I love you, too, baby, but it's time." She pulled back and kissed me soundly on the mouth before practically dancing out of my arms.
I stood there, unmoving, my arms still outstretched, and watched Alice take Edward's hand as they began running. For the first time, I felt like I didn't have anything inside my body; I felt so… empty. I felt as though I had no veins, no blood, no heart. And for the first time, I was betting against Alice.
A/N - My very first Twilight fanfiction! Wow! I have a terribly unhealthy obsession with Jasper (and with the actor who plays him in the movies, go figure), and I decided to challenge myself with a Bella/Jasper fic. Take two seconds out to review please!!