Blame It on the Spell Check
This story was inspired by a very funny spelling mistake on one of my other stories caused by spell check.
Summary: No one should trust spell check ever, especially on his wedding invitation. Jim's future father in law is going to kill him if his chief communications officer/wedding planner or his Vulcan fiancée do not kill him first.
Rated T for some comedic violence.
Pairings: Established Spock/Kirk
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters created by Gene Roddenberry and reinterpreted by J.J. Abrams. This story is for entertainment purposes only.
Due to a disability, I write these stories with the use of voice recognition software. So expect some very strange grammar mistakes. Feel free to point out things I can't see in a PM.
This one shot may or may not take place in my 10 signs universe. I'm not telling.
She had no idea how she was talked into helping her ex boyfriend plan his wedding to their captain. They were all friends, so it made sense in a weird way. It's been more than four years since the breakup so it really doesn't bother her anymore. She doesn't want to get married or settle down. They already talked her into being the surrogate mother for their child, what was one more favor between friends. Being the surrogate is easier.
She blames Jim for this entire fiasco. She honestly thought she could put the man in charge of one thing without it going completely wrong. All he had to do was create the invitation and sent it off to the printers on Earth and New Vulcan. Only Jim Kirk could screw up something that simple.
They opted for an old fashioned paper invitation, so that those who could not attend the festivities could have some sort of keepsake. Many of the people on the guest list were diplomatic acquaintances of Spock's father or those in Starfleet command they had to invite. A paper invitation seemed more dignified. If they chose a digital invitation, they wouldn't be dealing with this current crisis. She was too pregnant to deal with this right now.
"Contrary to what you believed after your first official meeting with my father, he is not an ogre. I do not understand why you refer to him as such on our wedding invitation. I still do not understand the complexity of human practical jokes." Spock said to his fiancée holding up the proof of the invitation to their wedding. They were currently in Kirk's ready room going over more things for the wedding that will take place in less than two months after the completion of the five year mission.
"What are you talking about?" Jim said looking directly at Spock. Spock past the invitation to Kirk silently, without displaying any anger whatsoever. That was never a good sign.
She quickly peeked over Kirk shoulder to see what the problem was. With her trained eyes she noticed the blunder in only a few seconds. She didn't know whether to laugh or smack her friend upside the head for doing something so stupid. When she remembered that the printers started distributing the invitations 2 hours ago, she opted for the latter.
"You do realize it's considered insubordination to smack your commanding officer upside the head?"
"I think there's an exception to that rule if you are caring your commanding officer's child. I blamed the pregnancy hormones and your stupidity. How could you think this was funny? Sarek already hates you. This is going to make it worse. He is only allowing you two to get married because you promised to give him a quarter Vulcan grandkid before you say I do. Did I thank you for the fact I have to wear a maternity dress at the wedding?"
"You're still upset about that. I have tried to tell you that you look beautiful in anything even though you're now four months pregnant. Why would Sarek be mad at me because of the wedding invitation? Did I use the wrong colors?"
"I'm sure my father will not find the color scheme offensive."
"Then what's wrong with the invitation?"
"You still don't see what's wrong?" When he nodded his head no, she took mercy on him and pointed out his huge mistake. "I was under the impression that most geniuses could actually spell."
"Your hypothesis is false. For example on earth during the 21st century there was a case study done on a young woman with a genius level IQ that had the spelling ability of a four year old earth child. The disorder was genetic and many of her descendants have the same disability. I taught one such individual when I was at the academy."
"Thank you for defending me honey."
"I was not defending you. I was merely stating fact. I will have to concur with Nyota. Why did you not consult another source on the spelling of my father's name?"
"I did. I copied and pasted it directly from his Starfleet dossier."
"Then why do our wedding invitations refer to my father by the name of a fictional character from 21st century earth cinema?" Spock said as calmly as possible without any facial reaction whatsoever.
"I don't know. Maybe somebody at the printers thought it was a funny joke. I mean I even used spell check on the invitation." That is when she hit him a second time.
"What was that for?"
"For being the stupidest genius I have ever met. Don't you know never to trust spell check? Especially when the program is only designed to recognize words in standard. Your future father in law's name is a Vulcan word. The program matched his name to the closest standard word."
"That just happened to be the name of a cartoon ogre." Kirk said as he placed his head in his hands. "It's not that bad we can just have the printers fix the invitation and send out the corrected version. Nobody but us needs to know about this."
"That would be possible if the invitations weren't already being distributed. In a few hours everyone will be opening up a wedding invitation inviting them to the wedding of the son of Ambassador Shrek of New Vulcan."
"I am sleeping on the couch tonight? Never mind, I know the answer to that question. Your father is going to kill me."