I'm on a roll. Like, hot damn.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, or Disney. Sad face D:
"Francis, are you sure this is going to work?" A timid Canadian asked the boisterous Frenchman.
"Of course Matthieu! I've already told my side of the story to Arthur, and now you tell yours to Alfred!"
"Yes but, I'm a horrible liar, eh!"
"Perhaps we really ought to have sex then." Francis said suggestively.
"W-what? Um, well, it's not that I don't like you. It's just that, um, well you know. I um-!"
"I was merely kidding Matthieu! No need to get all worked up."
"Yeah." Matthew was frazzled. A couple of days ago, Francis unexpectedly came to visit him, spewing a 'perfect idea' that would make Arthur and Alfred realize their love for one another. It was odd, really. Since when did Francis become concerned for Arthur's or Alfred's love life? Matthew decided just to never expect the normal from Francis.
"I just don't get it."
"Oh Matthieu, it's simple really. We tell the two of our wild sex, and then they realize how lustful they are for one another and then magique!"
"Why do I have a feeling this won't work?" The Canadian sighed, wishing that Kumajirou was with him.
"Hello? Wait, you did what! Whoa, whoa, calm down… Well, how was it? Oh my god! Mattie, I had no idea what a slut you were! I didn't mean it Mattie… No, no, what? Are you drunk? Why would you ask that? Wait a minute." Alfred looked at Arthur, his face a deep red. "Will you excuse me for a minute?"
Arthur couldn't help be curious as Alfred walked out onto the balcony. Not five minutes after they got their hotel room did Alfred's phone start buzzing. Of course it didn't really bother Arthur, too much. He was just being selfish, he guessed.
Twenty minutes later, After Arthur had taken a shower, and cleaned himself up; Alfred came back into the room.
"There is something wrong with Mattie."
"Oh please." The American groaned, "I think you know."
"Yes, Francis told me." Arthur admitted.
"My little Mattie! My poor, poor Mattie! Deflowered by that, that-!"
"Yes! He said it was awesome, and he made the initial move! I feel so weird. Ugh, I'm taking a shower, and maybe bang my head against the wall to get the mental image out."
"You should do that."
After Alfred came out of the shower, still mentally scarred, he flopped onto the bed with Arthur on it.
"I declare this bed mine."
"What? No, I'm already on it."
"So? Get off."
"Why do you want this bed?"
"Because it's next to the air conditioner!" Alfred whined.
"And why should I move?"
"I'll tell everyone you use girl shampoo."
"Herbal essences, drama clean! Shampoo for normal/oily hair! With a fusion of berry tea and orange flower! So-o-o-o- manly, Arthur!"
"It smells good jackass!" Dear god, why didn't he just decide to use the hotel's shampoo? Oh yeah, because he's a picky git.
"I'm just messing with ya' Artie. I even used some! Smell my hair!" Arthur couldn't have said no if he wanted, the American already had his face pushed to close for comfort near Arthur's blushing face.
"Get a whiff of that awesome-ness!"
"Alfred, it's my shampoo, I know how it smells." Arthur squeaked out, sounding much lamer and pathetic then he intended.
"O-o-oh yeah." Alfred replied, sounded just as lame and pathetic.
The two pretended to be very interested in their cell phones as an awkward silence surrounded them.
"I think I'm going to the lobby and see where the nearest supermarket is." Arthur decided, shutting his phone, bored and desperate for tea.
"Okay, could you bring me back something sweet, oh and beer? Oh, and-, actually I'll just come with you." Alfred hopped up from the bed, and put on his leather jacket.
"Alfred, should you really wear that? It's soaked."
"Oh yeah, good point. I'll just let it air dry."
"Shouldn't you, I don't know, wash it, or use some kind of cleaning solution?"
"Are you kidding me? This jacket has been through thick and thin! Rain water isn't going to stop it!"
"Uhm, okay, let's go."
"Are you kidding me? Just how much candy do you need?" Arthur snorted as Alfred tossed a Hershey bar, Twix bar, and two packs of Twizzlers into the buggy.
"Your mom is kidding me."
"Alfred, we don't have Mums."
"Exactly! So help me decide on what kind of Poptarts we need." Arthur sighed. He felt like he was about to die from humiliation. First, Alfred had insisted that Arthur push him in the buggy as they strolled through Wal-Mart's food aisles. Then, he asked if Arthur wanted to be pushed in the buggy, in case he was jealous that the American had came up with the idea first. Continuing his terror, he argued about who was going to push the buggy. Not to mention, mid argument Alfred stopped to smell his berry scented hair. He was being a pain in the ass, completely unbearable, but Arthur was enjoying every moment of it. He was turning into one of those love obsessed people that were in soap operas. Not that he watched them, much.
"Should you really be getting all this shite? Aren't you in a financial crisis?" Alfred whipped around suddenly, realizing that this would indeed cost him money.
"I think I'm going to fast for the rest of the time we're here."
"What?" Arthur asked, still undecided about what beer they should get.
"Well, if I fast, I won't spend on any money on food. That means more money for Mickey Mouse ears!"
"Oh for the love of the queen, don't be an idiot. I'll pay for it."
"No way, Artie! I told you I'd be paying for all of this!"
"Don't argue with me. I'm not going to let you starve yourself for mouse ears."
"But Arthur!" Alfred whined, "I promised!"
"Well, it's not like we pinky-promised, so it's not a big deal." Arthur shrugged, remembering how serious the American took pinky-promises.
"You do have a point… But I pinky promise I'll pay for everything else!" Alfred grinned, sticking his pinky out. "You should be good at this, Arthur. You stick your pinky out when you drink tea. Posh snob."
"Hey! Of course I don't do that! Don't be so bloody stupid." Arthur blushed, of course he did. He really was a tea-drinking snob.
"Sure, Artie, sure."
"Belt up before I decide you have to pay for this stuff."
"My lips are sealed."
Oh yeah, you all thought Matthew was a huge slut-face. Sorry to dissapoint.
If you want, you can imagine that they did do it. :D
So right, what kind of rides do you want Alfred and Arthur to ride?