Author's Note: Just a random idea I had while walking around in Bed, Bath, and Beyond and noticing the shower curtain racks. Of course my dirty mind kicked in. *winks* Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and these characters. She would probably blush with shame if she knew what I'm doing to them. *evil grin*

"Bella," my sister-in-law groaned over the phone. "You can't furnish your bathroom with Bed, Bath, and Beyond merchandise. It's so cheap and normal."

"That's exactly my point, Alice," I replied, rolling my eyes and making my new husband laugh. He knew that his little sister was an unstoppable force, and was delighted that she now usually bothered me instead of him. "It's cheap. We're newlyweds, I'm still in college, and we're trying to be frugal."

"But my interior designer Perrine can make you totally original textiles!"

"No, Alice. I don't need to spend thousands of dollars on my guest bathroom. We don't even have guests! The discussion is over."

"Fine. I'll just furnish your bathroom for your birthday gift."

Don't argue, Bella, I told myself. "Okay, fine. I have to go. 'Bye, Alice."

"'Bye, sis. Love you two!"

"We love you, too," I admitted. "Send Jasper my love."

"Will do."

I hung up and let out a noise of frustration. My husband Edward laughed and rubbed my thigh, bared by my skirt. "Don't let her ruin this experience with our first house," he smiled at me.

"I'm not," I assured him. "She just doesn't understand the idea of frugality. Actually, no one in your family does."

Edward shrugged. "Well, now I do. We're saving up for our first anniversary trip, remember?" He winked at me and gave me his most beautiful crooked smile.

I returned his grin and reached up to kiss his cheek. "Yes, we are. And I must admit I'm excited as hell. Thank God we can continue our honeymoon here in Seattle, though."

He nodded. "Yeah, that's definitely not a problem between us." He took my hand, kissed it, and started singing along to the Elton John song playing from his iPod.

I took that as my opportunity to stare at him and drink in his beauty. He was quite possibly the most gorgeous being on this green earth. Now he looked a bit disheveled, but I liked it. It reminded me of our current project. Edward had surprised me with a house right before our wedding. It was small--only two bedrooms and two baths--but it was so pretty and charming. It had a spacious porch with curlicues on the trimming, and a nice green yard surrounding it. We both loved it, but to have a project to do together, we were remodeling the inside. The remodeling and redecorating had turned into a Cullen family affair, especially since my mother-in-law Esme was an architect and interior designer. It was great to work with my in-laws, but my favorite parts were when Edward and I could work--and play--together. Alone.

I noticed a yellow spot on his cheekbone, and I smiled. We had been painting the living room the other day, and it had turned into a flirtatious paint splatter war. I drifted back to that day...

"Hey, sweetheart?" Edward called from the living room. I was in the master bathroom, stripping off the outdated wallpaper in painfully small strips. I quickly ran to him, only to find him in paint-smeared jeans, staring at the wall.

He pointed, and I realized he had painted smears of two different colors on the white wall. "Which do you like better?" he asked.

I appraised the two colors. One was a sunny yellow, the other a pale blue. "I don't know," I said, biting my lip in concentration. "They're both pretty. What do you think?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. These are the colors Esme suggested. You're the woman. I thought you would know."

I snorted. "Stereotyping much?"

He smiled. "Well you always look beautiful. I thought you would know how to make this wall beautiful."

"I know blue is your favorite color," I said.

"Only when you wear it."

I looked at him, noticing the fact that his defined chest and abs weren't covered by a pesky shirt. "Uh..." I stammered, losing my train of thought. "Why is that?"

A mischievous glint appeared in his eye. "It looks so pretty with your skin." The next thing I knew, he was brushing some blue paint on the tip of my nose.

I shrieked. "Oh, Mr. Cullen, you are going to pay!" I picked up the yellow-stained paint brush and splattered some on his face and in his hair.

That teasing "how dare you" look appeared on his yellow face, and he suddenly wrapped his arms around me, picking me up and immobilizing me as he brushed blue paint on my forehead. "Mrs. Cullen, don't start something you can't finish!"

"I believe you started it!" I exclaimed as I managed to wipe my brush across his entire face and neck like Braveheart-style war paint.

"Oh, you're in trouble!" he laughed, setting me on my bottom and grabbing a bigger brush. I watched in horror as he came after me with it, holding it like a madman holds a knife. I let out a giggle as I got up and ran out into the hall, thankful there were tarps covering the floors. In the hall was another roller of white paint, so I grabbed it.

He saw my defense and raised his eyebrows. "What are you going to do?" he teased.

"Roll you to death," I said in my most menacing voice. "Don't you dare come near me."

He smirked and walked to me, his eyes saying "What are you going to do about that?"

"I warned you," I laughed, running the wet roller down his chest and abs.

His jaw dropped. "You, my dear, are asking for it!" His brush painted my arms blue, and he pinned me against the wall. He started to unbutton my shirt before tracing the blue paint down my torso.

I pushed him against the opposite wall, using my roller to press against his stomach. "Don't make me finish this," I threatened.

"How would you finish that?" he challenged me again, clearly doubting my power. Pushing him hard into the wall, I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his mouth, my tongue exploring his lips. His mouth opened, and we made out, covered in wet paint and by now, half-dressed.

When I pulled away for air, I lightly traced the roller down his stomach. "Do I need to fight any more?"

"Yes," he murmured. "I don't think I've learned my lesson."

I laughed and stepped back. "Down," I ordered, pointing at the tarp. While he laid down, I started to unbutton my shorts and pulled them off before straddling him...

"Bella?" Edward suddenly asked me, and I realized he had parked, cut the engine, and was already out, opening my door for me. "Earth to Bella?"

I shook my head. "Sorry, I was daydreaming."

"I see that. Come on, love. Let's get this shopping over with." He held his hand out and I took it gladly. But after my wet daydream, I was in no condition to go shopping. My panties were soaked and my stomach was tight with need. The way Edward looped an arm around my waist and squeezed my ass wasn't helping, either.

Thirty minutes, give or take, I told myself silently. Then you might can convince him to go to a back road and you can jump him in the Volvo...

Edward's eyes were wide as we entered the Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I laughed and squeezed his waist in a quick hug. "What is it, sweetie?"

"That's a lot of shopping," he sighed, staring at the crowded shelves.

"We're only buying a shower curtain, rug, and towels," I reminded him. He still looked doubtful, so I kissed his jaw reassuringly, knowing immediately it was a mistake. His scent alone stirred up my arousal, and I didn't quite see how I was going to be with him, clothed in a public place. Zoning out again, I felt him pull me somewhere.

"Are you okay?" he asked me. "Your face is red and you're starting to sweat."

"It's hot outside," I lied absentmindedly.

"Uh, right," he said, confused. "Come on, beautiful. That sweat is starting to make me feel hot and bothered, if you know what I mean."

God, those were not the words I needed to hear. I had to put a little bounce in my steps to keep up with him. He looked hopelessly--and adorably--lost. I saw some towels on a shelf and immediately went for those. With something to focus on, I managed to think coherently though my nether regions were burning. "Umm, what color are the walls?"

He chuckled. "You're quite distracted, love. They're red, remember?"

I nodded. "Oh, yeah. Do you, beige?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "What about Pepto-Bismol pink? And lime green?"

"Whatever," I shrugged, totally uncomprehending.

Suddenly, he was in front of me, pressing me into the shelf, his hands on my hips. "Bella?" he purred seductively. "You really want pink towels?" His hot breath was washing over me, making me dizzy.

"Um...I don't care," I stammered.

Without even checking to see if anyone was around, he leaned down to kiss the hollow behind my ear. "What has you so distracted, my love?" Softly, he nibbled at my ear.

"Um," I said, completely incoherent again. "I saw that yellow paint on your face..."

"And?" He sucked on my earlobe, his breath blowing from his nose to my skin.

"And..." I said, moaning a little at his tongue. "I was daydreaming about our little paint war..."

"What exactly happened there?" His lips went down to my neck.

"You put paint on my nose...and I splattered you...and we started to paint each other..."

"And then?"

I inhaled as he bit my neck. "Uhh...I kissed you..."

"Like this?" His lips brushed against mine, forcing them open.

"Uh huh," I murmured into his mouth.

Edward kissed me for a few minutes, grabbing my ass, and I thanked my lucky stars that the store was practically empty.

Well, that didn't last long. Edward's tongue was in my mouth when an obnoxious voice called out, "Get a room!"

We turned to see a boy, about twelve years old, staring at us with his nose crinkled up. I couldn't help but laugh when Edward asked him, "Didn't your mom ever tell you not to interrupt adults?"

"Didn't your mom ever tell you not to make out in public?" the smartass kid replied.

"Maybe she did," Edward shrugged. "But I have a really hot wife, and like I said, I'm an adult."

The poor kid started running from us. I collapsed into giggles, the heat from our kissing burning through me. "Maybe we should decide on towels," I said halfheartedly, moving so I was standing beside him, holding his hand firmly.

"The gold ones are kind of cool," he said.

I nodded. "Red and gold is fine."

Edward grabbed the stack of gold towels and washcloths. "Maybe we should have gotten a buggy," he mused. "I'll be right back."

"I'll be over there, looking at shower curtains," I pointed.

We both went our separate ways. I walked to the big rack that was layered with shower curtains, thumbing through the different colors and styles. I tried to focus myself, but Edward's kisses were still making my head swim. Not to mention the fact that my lace panties were soaked through. It wasn't a very good idea to wear a skirt.

I thought about jumping Edward just as he came back and giving the twelve-year-old another show, but he had the same idea and he beat me to it. Suddenly I felt lips on my neck, and arms wrapped around my stomach. "Found anything?" he crooned.

"" I sputtered as his tongue lightly ran along my neck. "I'm quite distracted."

"And why is that?" he asked innocently.

"Because my incredibly sexy husband refuses to let me shop."

"I'm not going to apologize for that." He spun me around and kissed me again, and I wondered how many rounds we would have of this before finally getting in that damn car.

His hands had gone to my hips, lightly playing underneath the hem of my tank top. My fingers clawed into his bronze hair greedily.

"Excuse me," someone's voice said. Fuck, really? I thought. Can't anyone see that I'm busy?

We turned to see a woman in a smock. Her eyes were menacingly wide. "Ma'am and sir, we may be called Bed, Bath, and Beyond, but that doesn't mean you can go beyond public decency." She glared at us.

"Of course," Edward said smoothly, turning those goddamned beautiful eyes on her. "We got carried away. I'm sorry. What if I buy some extra towels?"

He winked at her, and she melted. "Uhh..." she said, dazzled by his good looks. "Don't let it happen again." Dazed, she walked away.

I smacked him on his chest. "Way to make eyes at a middle-aged woman."

He ignored me before gently pushing me into the shower curtains. I stumbled as I fell back behind the curtains and against the wall. Edward soon joined me, completely pulling the curtains together so nobody could see us. The small space behind the curtain rack was a little claustrophobic, but it made me kinky as hell. Especially when Edward took my hands and thrust them over my head, effectively pinning me against the wall. His mouth found mine as he left my hands there and started to fondle my breasts, his tongue

leaving sloppy and delicious trails along my lips. My back arched as he squeezed my nipples through my tank top.

"I see you aren't wearing a bra," he remarked in a husky voice. "I approve." He then pulled the tank top up, stooping so he could nip at my left nipple. I let out a small moan as he bit it before rolling it around in his mouth. I could feel my thighs get sticky with arousal.

"Does that feel good?" he asked before sucking on my other peak.

"Hell yes," I moaned, my fingers tangling in his hair.

As he caressed my breasts, one of his hands went down my stomach to my skirt. "Let's see if you're wearing panties," he growled, hitching my skirt up. His fingers traced my black lace thong before he smirked, "Just presents a bigger challenge."

His index finger wove under my thong, and he felt my soaking folds before laughing softly. "Someone is quite eager," he said, his finger teasing my clit.

"Fuck, Edward," I groaned, bucking my hips into him again.

He laughed softly before deftly sliding a finger into me. He twisted it around before adding a second and pushing them into me as far as they would go.

Even after three fingers were inside me, I still felt incomplete.

Sure, I was racing toward an orgasm as fast as a horse in the Kentucky Derby, but I needed his thick cock to fill me.

"I need you," I whimpered, pulling his face up so I could kiss his lips.

"You have me," he replied.

"No, I need you," I stressed.

"What part of me, love?"

"Your cock," I moaned helplessly.

He wore that cocky smirk before pulling his fingers out, yanking my panties off, and standing up. He unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants and boxers down, his long erection springing out.

My head spun as he lifted me up and allowed me to wrap my legs around his waist. Wasting no time, his cock found my entrance beneath my skirt as he pushed me into the wall. Our hips thrust as he filled me to the brim, every glorious inch of him welcomed by my throbbing pussy.

He sucked my tongue as he boned me, and his fingers suddenly went to rub my clit. I came right then and there, having to let my needy moans echo in his mouth. As my cum washed over him, he let go of himself and climaxed with me. His release came in long, hard, hot spurts. Thank God I was on birth control.

After our climax, we were both out of breath. He gently pulled out of me and let me down on my feet. Ready for round two, I regretted the fact that he was zipping up his pants and buckling his belt. Still dizzy, hot, and sweaty, I found my panties and started to

pull them back on.

Edward stopped me. "Leave it," he said, winking. "As a little souvenir for our friend, the middle-aged Bed, Bath, and Beyond employee."

I laughed and blushed. I had never done anything like that in public before, and it excited me. Leaving my panties behind excited me even more, and it made me wonder how many public places we could mark with our little panty raid.

Apparently Edward was thinking the same thing, because he took my hand. "Come on," he said, a wicked gleam in his eye. "Let's pick out a shower curtain and then we can go do something else. I've heard this mall has a Victoria's Secret. And they have huge dressing rooms and lots of props."

I started laughing as he kissed my hand and pulled me into the bright lights.