The Brake

Every day just seem to go by so fast, but now life is slowly passing by stuck in this day and age, the dark feeling taking over my mind, like a creature slowly consuming me. Only this creature isn't anything that can be seen or touched, this creature made only of darkness and twisted thoughts corrupting your mind. It's almost as though someone is playing a sick game with your mind, putting thoughts in there then telling you things that you know aren't true, but yet you still listen, your couriers mind makes you listen without thought you believe everything they tell you and for what reason? Just because it's your mind? Or is it the thought of the hatred brought upon you from a few words? These voices sound right, feel right, but ... are they? They tell you that she never wonted you, to please herself with your love and passion, to hold you close and through you away like a broken toy. These feeling are nothing, nothing compared to the pain you feel, the thoughts and voices in your head just make things feel worse. Flash backs of the time we spent together, valentine's day, going out together and worst of all flash backs of having sax together. Just like locking an animal in a cage and continually prodding it with a stick, at first you get a reaction, fighting back, trying to get rid of it, then after a while you start to ignore it you know it's there but you just leave it. Look at in discus at the most. By now I hope you're wondering what those few words where. Just a small sentence and my heart were smashed. Like a verse of black roses being dropped on the ground. Glass shattering in a flurry of black petals and water. Those words still ring in my ear, with a tear in her eye and in a very quiet voice she told me "I don't love you"

I felt as though I had been stabbed, I was sure that I had done something wrong to upset her. But no, she didn't love me, after three and a half months, she tells me she doesn't feel the same way.

I thought nothing could come between us, everything I thought you was, gone within seconds and replaced with the shear emptiness and hatred for the person I loved so dearly. I didn't know what to do, people told me things took a turn for the worst, if that was true then where would I be now?

The feelings of wonder puzzled my mind for days.

A few days passed, those days turned into a week and destiny brought me love again, one flame dies out and another is brought to life, the glowing red desire, passion and attraction, doesn't just take you to that person, but grabs you by the arm and drags you to them.

The scars from the voices run deep within my mind and my body. I remember everything, the lies that where told and the good times we had. These memories are like knives every time I take a look at them they hack me down again.

Scared and broken I move on, burning the memories of the person who broke me so suddenly, and for some strange reason I thank her for that, because I found out that destiny is like a maze of locked doors.

You just have to find the right key.