And here I bring you the final two chapters. I was going to separate them, just to make it an even 10 chapters, but the last bit is only a short snippet and I didn't feel it warranted an entire chapter to itself. It's more of an epilogue, really.

Be that as it may, this is still fairly short - perhaps because I've edited out the naughty that is implied, because I have the crippling fear that FFN will yell at/ban me. I'll link to it within the next week if anyone is still interested by then.

Thank you everyone who has read / will read and doubly so if you've commented. You are all fantastic :D


Craig and Tweek had slept soundly for the majority of the next morning and afternoon, much to the chagrin of his mother. Twice she slammed on the door to get them up, but it was useless. After the second time and some flipping off of the wood plank that was giving her so much trouble, she gave up and stormed off. Craig, in what had become normal for him, only bothered to consider waking up once his mother stomped off the creaky bottom step.

He was still tired. Very much so. Despite spending a decent amount of time with Tweek- the poster child for paranoia-induced insomnia- Crag was still not used to recovering from excessively late nights. Force of habit, however, forced his lazy ass up into a sitting position, where he proceeded to stare at the wall until Tweek joined him in the waking world.

The blond made a special show about it – his breath hitching, stopping, then his hole body convulsing until he rocketed into a sitting position, shrieking and grabbing his chest. He almost head butted Craig in the jaw, but aside from lazily flipping Tweek off he didn't react. Tweek rubbed his eyes and twitched again.

"What's wrong with your hat?"
"You have my normal one."
"I do?"
"Ack! Oh God! Sorry!"

Tweek hurriedly shoved the article of clothing over the one already occupying Craig's head. Said male shook his head, adjusting his headwear so the correct hat was on properly and the replacement hung on his bedpost. Tweek stared at him, left eye twitching every few moments. While Craig was fine with awkward or prolonged silences, he knew Tweek was not, and soon he would start screaming –or worse- apologizing to him all over again. So he broke the silence.

"Ack! Nhhgeh!"
"Dude. Chill."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
"But the gnomes! They stole all of your-"
"Don't worry about it." Craig said, waving his hand in dismissal. "I took care of them. "

Tweek spasmed particularly hard, convulsing on his bed. Craig watched with morbid fascination while Tweek seemed to develop a horrendous cramp, his back twisting painfully as he flopped his skinny self around on his bed. The boy went so far as to bend his neck at a painful angle and start pulling at his hair, making Tweek noises while Craig simply watched. Once Craig got tired of the spaz attack, however, he forcibly righted the boy and fisted his hand in the tangled hair until he calmed down. It took longer than he would have liked, but Tweek gathered his thoughts and took a shaky breath.

"When was this!" He blurted, the momentary calm gone already.
"After you passed out."
"Nnngh! What did you do?"
"I told them to fuck off. So they left." Craig explained, shrugging his shoulders a little at Tweek's incredulous expression.
"They-They're all gone?"

Tweek kissed him. He launched into Craig's lap and kissed him. Right on the mouth. Bony arms thrown around his neck and everything. He even stopped twitching for a few minutes. Craig blinked, more confused than anything, his thoughts settling on the awkward way Tweek was positioned on his lap and the slight ache in his lip where Tweek all but rammed into him.

Moments later, it was gone. Tweek stared at him, stock still, propped up on his hands and knees. Craig blinked in turn, which somehow set of Tweek's panic sensors. He recoiled fast, falling off the bed and landing flat on his ass, holding his hands up over his mouth. Wide, panicked eyes stared up at him, the left one twitching badly. Craig, though his face was the usual blank slate, crawled forward a few paces. Tweek scrambled back, but Craig just followed him, slinking off his bed and backing him up until the shaky blond was trapped between his desk and the empty corner where Stripe used to sleep. Half hovering over the trembling body, he reached out and gathered up the skinny mass and drew Tweek back into his lap.

"Oh Jesus-"
"Oh God what did I-" Kiss. "What did I do I didn't mean to-" Kiss. "Augh oh my God what-" Kiss. "You… aren't stopping." Kiss. "Why aren't… you…?" Kiss. "…You…?"
"Dude, chill."
"Nnnghk! But- But!"

Craig kissed Tweek correctly this time, holding his mouth there, blocking off the possible tirades. Tweek whimpered and squirmed and twitched, but that was hardly abnormal. He was making no move to push Craig away, so he kept it up. He stroked the blonds' spine, trying to get him to loosen up a little. Surprisingly, it actually worked. The living combination of skin, bones, and coffee actually relaxed and went as limp as his bony, panicky self could. It was only when Craig unconsciously tried slipping him a bit of tongue that Tweek began to freak out and nearly punched him in the face.

"Ack! Guh! Nghk!"
"Bad?" Craig breathed, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"Uh… I… Uhm-urk!"
"Can you speak in full sentences?"
"That was my first kiss."

This, Craig did not quite know how to react to. He wasn't sure how to react of any of this shit, actually. He tried kissing him again, and that made Tweek relax the slightest bit. Craig considered this as good, an improvement. He wrapped his arms around the thinner boy and drew him into his lap. Tweek, much to both their surprise, moaned a little bit and kind of fell into him. Again Craig didn't know how to react, and this bothered him. He couldn't remain composed if he didn't know what to do. So he let instincts take over, if only for a moment. He could let his body decide for now, and then he could think about what was going on.

His mind latched on to what he had said to Tweek, and what had happened last night. Craig almost felt bad that he might have been lying to Tweek. He had no idea if that was it. Hell, the gnomes could be plotting to take over the world right now by stripping everyone of their undergarments. Tweek could be targeted right now and neither one of them would know for sure.

The thing Craig realized, however, was that he really didn't fucking care.

What Craig was focused on now was the blond mess in his lap, squirming and shyly kissing him back. He only really cared about the bony mass rolling his hips and being so damned good at something Craig was sure he wasn't supposed to be good at. His concern was in Tweek as he was now; straddling him, pressing against him and most importantly all too happy to be there. All his focus was on the coffee-and-morning breath flavored mouth Tweek was letting him explore and the trembling hands doing some exploring of their own.

Craig broke the kiss with a soft chuckle, feeling his hat slip off his head. Somehow he had ended up half on his back, propped up one elbow with his other arm lifted, his hand in Tweek's hair. His legs were spread one flat on the ground, the other bent at the knee. Tweek was half lying on him and the floor between them, one of his trembling hands on Craig's knee and the other one holding him up. Craig was smirking, watching Tweek while he shook and stared, wide eyed as a frightened deer.

"Good?" Craig tried again, petting the other male to soothe him
"Mmgh." He chewed his lip, looking everywhere but at Craig's face.
"You're all red."
"It's cute."
"Ack! Oh Jesus!"

He tugged Tweek down again, pulling a muted shriek and another kiss from the skinny boy. There was just something about the way he squirmed, the way he shuddered and gave into it that made Craig just give in too. He couldn't remember feeling this relaxed for a while, though for some reason he couldn't remember why that was so at the moment (his mind was too focused on the tongue lapping at his lower lip), but then it dawned on him. Stripe had passed, and Tweek was his replacement. He had been using Tweek this whole time to give him that same feeling of comfort that he thought he had lost forever, and it was working out a lot better than he'd ever expected. He regained the comfort and the monotony and something soft and furry to pet, and something else, something more.

He was sure that he never felt like this toward Stripe.

Craig sighed against Tweek's mouth, pulling the other male completely on top of him. Tweek shivered, gripping the carpeting between Craig's head and his hat. A smirk curled at his lips and Craig nipped, finding some special thrill in the way Tweek was arching against him. This feeling – Craig wanted more of it. Tweek seemed spooked by the prospect, breaking the contact to whine and twitch. They spent a moment in silence, their panting and Tweek's noises (though now they sounded much softer) breaking it up. He glanced at the bed a few feet away, his gaze flickering barely flickering there and back. Craig nearly missed it, but the when Tweek gulped and did it again, he felt the smile etch onto his face before he could even think to stop it.

"Oh, we're not gonna make it all the way over here." Craig stated blandly, lazily flipping the blond boy over, pinning him to the floor "Here's more than fine for what we're gonna do."

The squeak Tweek let escape and the moan that followed it, Craig decided, were the sexiest things he'd ever heard.


"GET UP!" screamed Craig's mother, pounding in vain on the door "I don't care if you go to school but you're not staying here all day! I got shit to do!"

Craig stirred, languidly wrapping his arms around tighter the quivering Tweek. He still twitched and made little noises, but they were far fewer than the days previous. It seemed somewhat storybook, the way things had turned out. He'd been saved from a pressing sadness and in turn he had saved Tweek from a pressing paranoia. They worked well together. They were good friends – if not a little something more now. But Craig was too caught up in this new pattern, in this new monotony to ever want it to end. He supposed that made them 'something more'. Or not. He wasn't sure. He didn't care. A long as he got to do this he'd be just fine. Tweek wasn't complaining so he simply assumed the same went for the calmer blond.

The only thing he had left to think about was how to pursue this… relationship, if it could be called that. And who would be the princess.

Tweek. Definitely Tweek.

"Open the damn door!"

Craig flipped the voice off, burying his face in soft, coffee scented locks, and falling back asleep.

That's all she wrote!

Thank you again to everyone who read, watched, favorited, commented, or did anything else. I can't say how much all the encouragement means. Be sure that I will be haunting the SP fandom with oneshots and chaptered stories should I get a good enough idea.

Thanks again- May the Underpants Gnomes lead you to bountiful profit!