I own nothing. Random story plot I came up with awhile ago. Enjoy!
"Come on Dean," Sam said throwing his stuff into the trunk, "Are you ready to go yet?"
"Yeah," I said digging through a bag.
"Can I drive?" he asked hopefully.
"Sure," I said tossing him the keys.
"Okay," he asked confused, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I said climbing into the passengers' seat, "Just come on."
"Okay," he said climbing in and starting the car.
I grinned to myself knowing that I had confused him. I loved making Sam confused since it didn't happen that often. Sam was the smart one so I was the one confused most of the time.
We were just heading to Bobby's for a little while. For the past few hunts we have been working pretty hard and it was starting to wear us both down, not that I'd admit that. Sam kept asking for us to rest for awhile and I finally said yes.
Sighing I continued to dig through the bag looking for the lighter I always carried. At the very bottom of the bag was a little slit. A piece of paper was sticking out of the slit. Curiosity consumed me and I pulled it out. It was a note from Sam.
Yeah, I know that sounded like a really girly way to start this note, but it's all I could think of. Umm…I know that it's going to take you awhile to find this note and when you do I hope you'll finally not be mad at me. I know what I did was stupid and you probably hate me, but I had to do it.
Whenever Dad and I would fight you would always look so sad and I knew that was my fault. I'm sorry about that. I just…I couldn't be the perfect son. Not like you at least. I wanted the two of you to have the life you should have had. And that meant me not being here.
I might have been stupid for doing this and I know this hurt you, but I couldn't think of anything else to do. I wanted you to be happy. You're my big brother and you always take care of me. This was something that I had to do. I had to do it for you.
Please don't hate me for killing myself. I just want you to be happy. That's all I have ever wanted. Now you can be happy. You and Dad can both be happy now that I'm dead. It wasn't your fault. I did this for you, not because of you. Never think that this was to hurt you. Please, forgive me.
As I read the note I felt my stomach tighten. This was a suicide note. Sam was planning on killing himself. The note was old so I guessed it was when we were teenagers and still with Dad.
Why was Sammy writing this? I was supposed to take care of him and if he thought that killing himself was going to help then he was wrong. I needed to know what the hell happened to make him do this.
What the hell was I supposed to say though? 'Hey, Same I found your suicide note and we need to talk.' Yeah, that wouldn't end well. No, I needed to figure out a way to get him to talk to me.
Hell, what if he didn't remember leaving this note? Maybe he thought that he had gotten rid of this note long ago. I guess it didn't matter we needed to talk about this anyway.
I loved Sam, even if I didn't say it often. Sam was my little brother and there was nothing in this life that would get me to forget or wish him away. Yeah, he annoyed me all the time, but so did everyone else.
I needed to say something. I couldn't let this pass. I couldn't act like I hadn't found this note and pray that he never did anything. There was still a chance of him hurting himself and I needed to stop that.
My little brother was hurting. At least he was when we were younger. I wasn't there for him then, but I was going to be there for him now. First to get him to talk about what happened.
We had a long drive to Bobby's house and it was the perfect time. Now just to say something. Taking a deep breath I folded the note like it was before and put the bag in the back seat.
"Look what I found," I said waving the note slightly.
Looking at Sam's face I knew that he knew what it was. He looked so scared there that I wanted to just ripe the note and throw it away. Unfolding the note I laid it between us.
Sam still didn't say anything. His eyes trained onto the road and his knuckles were white. I knew that I would have to wait until he said something about the note. I just didn't know how long to wait.
There was no way I was going to drop this without some answers no matter how hard I wanted to. I needed to make sure that I would never have to read a note like this ever again.
The Impala was filled with an awkward silence. After a few minutes Sam still hadn't said anything. I was getting tired of the silence and needed to break it to get the truth.
Turning my whole body to Sam I stared at him for a second and saw that his eyes looked haunted. I never wanted to see that look in my little brothers eyes ever again. I saw it too much after Jessica was killed.
Now was a time to help my little brother. I hated that the only way to help him was going to be through hurting him, but it needed to happen. If hurting him was going to help him in the end I guess that's what needed to happen.
"Want to tell me what that's about?" I asked calmly.