Here it is. The moment you've all been waiting for! The grand finale! the death to end all deaths! The ultimate, epic climax to this long ride of psychopathic insanity! Enjoy this final taste of doom, savour it, for it shall be your last.

101 – The Very End

The world has had enough. The single greatest mistake in the history of mankind has now tainted the Earth with it's insidious ways. There is no going back now. There is no way to reverse the damage. Nothing can save this Hell which we created.

Vampires, the word once denoted a supernatural being, a frightening spectre of death. A monster that stalked the night, hunting down innocent humans and killing them in unimaginably terrible ways. Some would be torn to pieces, others would just have two bite marks on their neck. Some would be flayed alive and some would be unscathed. The only similarity was that all the victims were drained of blood...

The monsters came in all shapes and forms, bat-like wings, crooked, pointy ears, emacciated faces, glowing red eyes. Some of them even looked like regular humans, perfectly disguised. Wicked fangs would always adorn their wicked smiles. There would always be a cold presence in the air, a sensation of something very wrong, something inhuman.

Their powers were vast. Some had the strength to rip a man's head in half with nothing but his bare hands. Some had the endurance to survive a bullet at point blank range. Some could manipulate their victim's minds. Some could raise the dead to do their bidding, others could replicate their own kind, passing on their wretched curse.

The word vampire struck fear into the hearts of man. They desperately tried to invent cures and methods of defence. They tried everything: crucifixes, garlic, wooden stakes, metal stakes, decapitations, burning, mystic herbs, magic...Some worked, others were merely laughable.

Even with ways to kill them, vampires were unstoppable. Their superhuman abilities made them more than a match for their prey and some vampires were even immortal, unable to die, even age could not harm them.

No, man was never their greatest threat...It was the sun. Numerous vampires were susceptible to the light and warmth that radiated from the sun. Their dark, soulless forms thrived on the empowering darkness of the shadows, but in the light they were powerless. Some were weakened, others would shrivel and die. A rare few were unaffected.

Throughout the ages, vampires inspired terror and fueled nightmares. Through them, man weaved grand tales that would delight young and old for centuries. Some of these tales became as immortal as the ghouls they were based upon.

Vampires were legendary, famed for their vicious nature and their mythical presence in our lives. They were things which inspired awe in the young and old alike...But even with this fascination, man never forgot the crippling fear, the tingles on the back of their necks...The hairs that stood on end, the shivers that ran down their spine.

No matter what happened, vampires would always be feared...

Then it happened. By some mistake of nature, a horrid little girl was born. She grew up reading romance stories and vowed to write them herself when she was older. Not only did she write them...She integrated vampires into it.

The monsters which haunted our history books were demoted to weak, kind-hearted vermin. They no longer drank human blood. They no longer had an undying hatred fofr humans. They no longer lacked a heart or soul. Now...NOW THEY FUCKING SPARKLE!

The beast that would tear out your beating heart and devour it before your very eyes was now a sappy teenaged boy who longed to take you to the school dance. The sharp fangs were replaced with pearly whites and the deathly pallor was replaced with cheap white make-up.

Vampires...Were no longer vampires.

That vile woman's name was Stephanie Meyer. The literary abortion she created was called Twilight.

The tales of old were forgotten. The children rushed out to buy the books about these new vampires. Children no longer feared them. Now they squealed with delight and cried when they took their shirt off. Now they see them as teen heart-throbs, not blood-thirsty killers.

Children idolize these new vampires! They see them as the new greatest thing. They think they know all about vampires from seeing the poorly made movies and reading the worthless books. They no longer understand what a real vampire is.

The days when Dracula and Nosferatu plagued our sleepless nights were long gone. Now it is preteen girls dry humping a pillow while fantasizing of a weak, putrid creature that they grew to know as Edward Cullen.

There are those who try to keep the vampire legends alive. Through endless re-writes of Dracula and infamous characters such as Alucard, a portion of society still understand the true vampires.

As this Twilight craze sweeps the nation, the media is plagued with the abomination. Book stores are cramped with Stephanie Meyer's books. Video stors have entire sections devoted to Twilight. Music stores even have vinyls of Twilight soundtracks right next to bands such as Metallica and Iron Maiden!

This mistake had created such damage that there was no other conceivable way to correct the wrongs of the past. The Twilight craze would only spread with ever passing day. Stephanie Meyer was now creating more books than Octomum had kids. Something had to be done...Something drastic...

Edward woke up early one morning. He rubbed his eyes as he approached the window. The sky was a bright blue and puffy white clouds floated across the sky like lilly pads in a pond.

"Ah, what a beautiful morning!" He exclaimed. He moved over to his dresser drawer where several awards trophies sat idly on the top on either side of his jewel encrusted mirror. He got dressed and proceeded downstairs. He had cabinets lined full of his 'hard-earned money' and a bunch of magazines with his face on the cover.

He entered the kitchen where everything was Twilight merchandise. His face was on the coffee-cups, the plates, even the freaking toaster.

He took out a small bottle of what was labelled blood but what was actually only tomato juice. He gulped down several mouthfuls and then skipped to the front door. He yanked it open and jumped outside into the fresh-smelling air.

When he opened his eyes he saw something different.

The sky was red...bright red. The clouds had scattered, fleeing from the blood red-sky. The light from the sun was gone and the world was eclipsed by the heavy breath of the grim reaper.

"What the hell is this?" Edward asked.

The clouds seemed to return, only to spell out the word 'Armageddon'.

Edward stared at it blankly until a bright flash on the horizon caught his eye. A flaming comet trail was soaring up into the sky and moving closer to him. He stared at it with child-like curiosity, without the faintest clue of what was going on.

As the flaming object got closer and closer more of them appeared in the sky, like a meteor shower. Edward was completely unaware of what it was. He never even got the chance to scream.

At that same moment a mother kissed her children before sending them off to school. A young child on a swing reached a new height. A young couple kissed on a park bench. An elderly couple held hands while watching the flaming sky. A puppy rolled about on the soft lawn of it's master's yard. And somewhere...A military commander was praying to whatever false gods would hear his pleas for forgiveness.

A singe second later the world as we all knew it was no more.

The first nuclear warhead hit it's target dead on. Within seconds a blast the size of an entire city decimated everything in it's path. Trees were stripped of bark and their trunks up-rooted and hurled aside as if they were feathers. Houses and skyscrapers dissintegrated. Bodies melted or exploded, leaving nothing but ash and dust behind. The resulting shockwaves spread across all of the US destroying all that had ever existed.

The rest of the missiles were scattered in the blast, sending them throughout the world. Some hit land, others crashed in the middle of the ocean. Great tsunami's pounded shorelines, ground-shattering earthquakes of unimaginable strength brought entire cities to their knees.

In only a few minutes the children on their way to school, that kid on the swing, the old couple, the teens on the park bench, the military commander...All of them were dead and gone. Completely obliterated by a nuclear blast the likes of which they had never seen. An explosion so great that no-one had never even contemplated it.

The world was caught off-guard and now it was no more.

Vampires, the legends, the legacy...No more.

Edward, just like all of humanity, was gone.

Edward...was dead.


Thank you so much for reading this depraved journey into my homicidal mind. Our combined hatred created something wonderful and I can't thank you all enough for helping make it happen. Thanks for all the requests, some were really good, some were just plain crazy, but no matter, because it all helped in the end. We laughed, we cringed, we leaned back in our chairs and said "Ooh damn! that's gotta hurt!". In the end, I hope you all enjoyed it. May you all join me once again on my next anti-Twilight adventure.

Until then, write a review.