Thanks for choosing to read this, although I did do a one-shot songfic a few days back, this is technically my first Scrubs fic so be kind with the reviews please! There are no pairings, except references to JD/Elliot. It was rated K+ because there is nothing too bad about it, just minor cursing. And lastly, I do not own Scrubs or any of the characters. This is just my attempt at pretending I do!
Italics = JD's narration.
Bold = JD's day-dreams.
JD was running as fast as he could down the ICU, sliding round corners and bumping into the other doctors, causing them to drop their charts.
I suppose I wasn't having the greatest day ever. The Janitor had been after me all day because he thought that I was the one who spilt hot coffee all over the cafeteria floor which he then slipped over – of course it was me but it wasn't my fault, Turk and I were trying out our new super cool Hello Dance we'd made up last night. It's awesome! Anyway, I didn't want to be blamed for it because I knew that the Janitor had strange ways of punishing people. And I'd had this constant headache for a couple days now that wouldn't go away. This day couldn't get any worse.
JD passed the nurses' station, stopped and moved backwards to talk to his favourite nurse.
"Carla," He panted, grabbing her attention immediately.
"Hey Bambi, what's wrong?" She asked.
"I've got a headache and that crazy Janitor is after me again," He explained quickly. "So if he comes by here, can you tell him that I wasn't around?"
"Sure, but how are you going to stay away from him all day?"
"I've managed it so far. Would be easier if I could turn invisible..." Suddenly JD was imagining himself poking, prodding and generally irritating the Janitor from the safety of not being able to be seen. "...I'd have to follow him everywhere and pretend I was a poltergeist."
"I'll pretend that made sense." Carla frowned. She then looked round the desk and noticed the Janitor with his mop, making his way down the corridor, a look of murderous rage on his face. "JD he's here! Go run, I'll sort him out, don't worry."
"But where?" Did this woman not realise the danger I was in? Did no one understand the Janitor's wrath like I did?!
"Go find Dr Cox, he needs to sort out some blood-work from this morning." She encouraged. "He's in the morgue talking to Doug about Mr Johnson's body. If you stick with him for a while, the Janitor should leave you alone."
"Good idea." JD nodded. It's not like Dr Cox doesn't hate me too. But that's fine – I get to spend some quality time with my mentor! I can mould him into the perfect father figure; maybe even get a hug out of him. "See you, and thanks!"
There was a reason why Carla was one of my close friends, and it had nothing to do with Turk being married to her. She was always kind to me, right from the beginning. It was clear from how she called me Bambi, and the way she always had my back. We lived together, and I always just gossip to her about hospital stuff. And now she was not only protecting me against the evil forces of Sacred Heart but also pushing Dr Cox to be with me. She was like a fairy!
Dr Cox was in the morgue but there was no Doug with him. JD came in, closing the steel door behind him carelessly and loudly, making his fellow doctor jump and then snarl when he realised who it was.
"What do you want, Newbie?" Dr Cox growled. He growled like tough a lion stalking his prey... but this was how he always greeted me so I couldn't let it get me down.
"Carla said you had some blood-work to sort out from earlier." JD explained. "I've come to tell you."
"Is that all, Clarissa?"
"And... I'm going to stick with you for a while - until the heats off me."
Dr Cox sighed, pinching his nose and folding his arms. This was a classic sign of angry Cox, all that was left was for that vein to pop in his forehead and then I'd know I was in trouble. "Get out, get out now."
"Okay, fine." JD mumbled, deciding that maybe it would be okay after all to go about his business. He did have two patients to look after, one of which was a frail old woman. So he walked over to the door he'd so carelessly shut behind him before and went to twist the handle. "Oh, dear God!"
"What is it now?" Dr Cox moaned.
"Well..." JD turned and showed Dr Cox the door. "Someone's took the handle."
The vein appeared on Dr Cox's head. And there it is. It kinda feels like there's something pushing its way out of my head too.
"Could it possibly be that man there, by any chance, Brandy?" Dr Cox nodded towards the small box window in the door, where the Janitor was grinning madly and waving something about in his hand. It happened to be the handle to the door. His speech was slightly muted, but they could just make out what he was saying.
"Gotcha back! See how you like slipping in coffee!"
"I didn't spill that damn coffee and I'm not slipping so before you start shouting at me, make sure that your metaphors make sense!" JD spat at the window.
"Metaphors don't have to make sense, Newbie." Dr Cox piped up. "That's why they're metaphors."
"Don't you start, Perry, I'm very irritable." JD wasn't spitting now, he didn't even sound like an authority.
Dr Cox did not look happy. He gritted his teeth and marched to the door, banging on the glass and narrowing his eyes at the Janitor, who didn't look phased at all. "Listen here, ass-wiper. You're gonna open the door from your side, let us out, and fix that handle back onto the door or God help me, I will..."
"You'll what?" The Janitor laughed. "You're stuck on that side! I stole your beepers. Thought it might be fun if you guys had some time to chat. Catch you later." And with that he was gone.
Damn that Janitor! He's so tactful and tireless.
"I guess it's just you and me, now, Pear-pear." JD shrugged, finding a seat on an empty slab. "Yeah, you, me... and the many dead people hanging out in the freezers. Want a cookie?"
"You have cookies and yet no beeper." Dr Cox's upper lip was beginning to curl. "Gertrude, you really are something."
"It's not my fault the Janitor stole it from me."
"You shouldn't have spilt that coffee."
"I didn't!" I wish I didn't.
"Look," Dr Cox suddenly sounded tired and restless. "If we've got to spend the rest of the afternoon and quite possibly the evening down here, I can't abide you talking so just hush up and let me get some rest because if there's one good thing that's come out of this re-heely bad situation, it's that it's my first break of the day and I would like to enjoy it in peace so..." He then whistled and indicated for JD to jump down from the slab. JD did so, and Dr Cox replaced him by lying down on it instead.
"Are you going to sleep in a morgue?" JD asked.
"There's nothing wrong with that. There's no one in here but us, the rest of the party are quite literally dead. What's the worst that could happen?"
JD suddenly drifted off into a day-dream... the bodies were banging on their freezer doors, groaning and begging to be released because they needed to feed on brains. The body of Mr Johnson who was on the other slab rose up, arms outstretched, saliva dripping from his mouth. Dr Cox jumped up and ran to the door, desperately trying to get out. Of course it was JD that used the convenient plank of wood to batter the zombies to the ground. Dr Cox grabbed him into a hug, claiming him to be the hero... "I love being your saviour for once, Dr Cox."
Back in reality, Dr Cox was staring at him as if he was a crazy man. "Two things: what the hell are you talking about and I don't care so don't tell me. Now be silent."
Thank you for reading this first chapter! And some credit should go to my Beta, BollyTheSquint.
Next time: JD has a turn for the worst and Dr Cox attempts to help out in a twist of character.