Author's Notes: Hey happy readers! I wrote this to take my mind off of my other story and real life for a few hours. I hope you guys enjoy and get a laugh.

Stephanie Meyer owns all rights to Twilight and the characters. No copyright infringement is intended.


"Edward, I'm so nervous for tomorrow," I admitted to my husband, embarrassingly.

He stroked my hair while we laid naked in our bed, my head resting on his hard, defined chest. The sun had long disappeared from the confines of the sky, and we could hear the gentle rise and fall of Renesmee's soft breathing, from her sleeping form, in the bedroom down the hall.

"Baby, you're ready for this. You know the material better than anyone else, you've been around humans long enough to know you'll be in complete control, and I doubt you're going to be given any trouble from the student body," he said, reassuringly. "You are a vampire, remember?" he whispered in my ear, seductively.

Tomorrow was the first day of the new school year at East High. We all had just recently moved to New York about two years ago and the rest of the Cullens, now-grown Renesmee and Jacob included, were going to be attending school there as students. However, for me, I was going to be teaching.

I approached Edward, years back, about wanting to teach English after completing my degree at Dartmouth. Many of the Cullens were worried about my control, or looking too much like the eighteen year old my body was frozen into, but Edward had been nothing but supportive.

Carlisle figured out a plan that the rest of the family would start school as his adoptive children, when we first moved to New York, and I would wait until their junior year to begin teaching. Jacob, of course, was just another student who came in a year after my siblings. This would hopefully avoid any unnecessary questions about my relationship with my to-be students.

But Edward's words of encouragement, however, loving and helpful, weren't my reasons for being nervous.

He was right, I knew the material. It helped that I had a picture perfect memory of every book I read and class I took. And the humans' behavior weren't a main concern, either. My advanced hearing and perception allowed me to be one step ahead of any games they wanted to play with me.

The thing that had me most worried was my family. Humans I could control, Emmett Cullen I could not. My second period English class just happened to have my entire family enrolled in, no doubt thanks to Alice's manipulation skills with the administration. I don't think any amount of time as a vampire would prepare me for what I was to face come morning.

"Now, class, remember what I wanted you to have read by tomorrow!" I yelled, as the students rushed out of the room, after hearing the sound of the bell. First period had gone pretty smoothly, I thought. They weren't too happy with my list of assigned reading and essays, though. One young girl even accused me of not remembering that they had to have some time to sleep. Ironic comment, though, because I actually had slipped past that minute, humanly detail.

"Mrs. Cullen, do you think you could help me after school with my list of readings?" One boy asked, after the bell had rung. This happened to be the same young man who couldn't remove his eyes from my ass every time I turned around to write on the black board.

"What exactly do you need help with?" I questioned, fully aware of his ulterior motives.

He paused, shifting uncomfortably, staring at my chest. "I just don't think I can handle it on my own," he said unconvincingly.

"Then maybe you shouldn't be in this class," a male voice said, entering the classroom. "I bet Mrs. Cullen here won't put up with inadequate students. I'm sure she has very high standards," he said slowly, eluding to something else completely.

"Shut-up, Masen," the boy retorted.

Edward walked past the young man, with a wink in my direction, and sat front and center of the large room. I had no doubt that Edward had heard every inappropriate thought this hormonal teenager had regarding his wife, and frankly, I wasn't surprised with his outburst towards the child.

I did, however, remove my shield for enough time for him to hear my warning loud and clear. The smirk remained on his face and his eyes glued to my body, as the other students filed in.

"Mrs. Cullen?" I knew who it was before I turned around, having her voice and scent memorized. "I'm Alice," she said, smiling sweetly, reaching her hand out to shake mine. "I just wanted to say hello and that I bet you're going to have a great class today!"

I heard Edward snicker behind me. "Everything will be fine," Alice said, only loud enough for Edward and me to hear. I smiled and sincerely thanked my sister and best friend.

I moved back to the front of the classroom and re-wrote my name and date on the board, having erased it during my lecture last class. Edward's growls were only loud enough for my family and me to hear, but heard none-the-less.

"Edward, please. Calm down," I begged, through my mind, extending my shield. I didn't need Jasper's power to feel the tension rolling off of him. I heard him take a deep, un-needed breath, in attempt to settle down. His protectiveness of me has not let up, in even the slightest, in all thirty years I had been a vampire. I allowed myself to replay images of us in bed the night before, trying to convey to him that no matter what the boys in this classroom thought, I was completely and eternally his.

When I turned around to face the classroom again, his smirk was back. So was the lustful and longing look in his eyes that I knew all too well. Jasper chose that moment to walk into the room then and the emotions rolling off both Edward and I made him stop in his tracks. His eyes found Alice immediately and he headed off into her direction.

"Don't get your hopes up, Jasper," I warned, oblivious to human ears. "Assigned seats." It was his turn to growl in frustration, but honestly, I held no sympathy for him. He got enough action at home, anyway.

Emmett and Rosalie arrived only seconds later, hand in hand, with mischievous looks etched on both of their stone faces. I looked over to Edward who seemed amused and saw Alice laughing in the back after she recovered from a new vision. I sighed and let it go. I was no longer a new born and no longer strong enough to prevent Emmett from his tactics. Whatever he had planned was going to happen, whether I liked it or not.

The bell rang and everyone became quiet as I introduced myself and the course. Apparently, my family wasn't the only ones upset about the new seating arrangements. I had Edward stay where he was, obviously, but put everyone else in new spots, with help from Alice earlier. I wasn't too mean to my siblings; they got to stay near their spouses, but within everyone's view, so they couldn't try anything inappropriate. My classroom was not going to be an experimenting ground of Em and Rose, that was for damn sure.

I was about to start my lesson when Edward went suddenly rigid. He seemed furious, and I wished, not for the first time, that I could read his mind.

Not five seconds later, Renesmee and Jacob burst through the door, stumbling over each other. Poor Renesmee got my human side of clumsiness. But it was their out of place clothing and messed up hair that got both my husband's and my attention. And Edward got the full effect of whatever was going through their minds and why they were late, and I quickly retracted my wish to read his mind.

"You're late," I said matter-of-factly.

Both of them looked at me with guilty expressions that would have held a lot more credit if they could wipe the damn smiles from their faces.

Edward suddenly stood up, stormed to the back of the classroom, picked up an empty desk with ease, brought it back to the front and set it down next to him with a loud humph.

"This can be Nessie's seat," he said, looking at me, daring me to argue with him. "And the dog can sit in the back," he said with so much venom I could taste my own build in my mouth.

Both my daughter and Jacob looked at me incredulously, but I just shrugged. "Well?" I said, motioning to the desks with my hands. "Are you going to just stand there for the rest of the period?"

Renesmee scowled and Jacob sulked to the back. The class seemed unaffected by Edward's outburst. Apparently, he was known to be a little over protective of his "biological baby sister." I could only imagine the verbal lashing Renesmee was giving her father, but she knew better than to flaunt Jacob in front of him. I had no remorse for her.

"Jacob, man, did you forget to shower today?" Emmett's asked a little too loudly. "You smell like…"

"Shit." Rosalie completed his sentence.

The giggles were released from through out the room and Renesmee turned to glare at her aunt.

"Hey, Rosalie," Jacob began, "what did the blonde girl name her zebra?"

She sat there, seeming uninterested. After thirty years, Jacob's jokes were getting old.

"Spot," he answered. Everyone laughed, excluding my family, while Rose turned around to face Jake.

"Too bad I don't own a zebra; I do own a dog though. Would you like to know what I call him?"

"Enough Ms. Hale," I said, glaring at her.

The students fell into relative silence after that.

A male human hand shot up. I looked over to the eager boy sitting next to Edward. "Do you have a question?" I asked him, wary of whatever it was.

He seemed confident and a little cocky, as he looked at me. "Well, Mrs. Cullen, I was just wondering, since you're new to the school and all, if you'll tell us a little bit about yourself."

I took a deep breath, feeling my throat burn with new venom. "Well, I suppose I can share a little about me."

I began, beginning to pace the front of the room. "I'm married to a very, very beautiful man," I said smiling, trying my hardest not to look at Edward.

"Lucky bastard," Edward said smirking. Everyone laughed, except Renesmee, who sighed in disgust.

I pointed at him and in mock seriousness said, "No swearing," and moved on.

"I also have a very large family. I have two wonderful sisters, two protective older brothers, and a sweet little girl." I paused, "well, sometimes sweet." I narrowed my eyes at Renesmee and then to Jacob in the back. Jake merely shrugged indifferently, while Ness sunk in her chair. Edward reached out and draped his arm around the back of her desk onto her shoulders.

He was such a great dad. I swooned at the sight of them and Jasper's cough brought me out of my trance.

"Right, um," I stuttered. "I graduated from Dartmouth," and Harvard, NYU, and Princeton. "I like to write and I even go hunting." My family all smiled at my comment.

"What's your favorite thing to hunt?" a curious boy asked.

I smiled at him sweetly. "Humans, if you're not careful," I said playfully and winked at him. Edward looked at me shocked and the rest of the class just laughed, Emmett most loudly.

"Okay, okay, enough about me. We have things we need to do today!" I said, enthusiastically, as I turned around to gather the papers I had on my desk.

"Mrs. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen?" I sighed as the very large, oversized, man continued to chant my name. "Mrs. Cullen? I have a question."

"What is it Emmett?"

"I really need to go to the little boys room," he said, acting out his own little potty dance.

"I'm sure you can hold it until the bell," I said back to him.

"I would, really, but it's an emergency!" he whined.

My hands were tied. I was told by the administration that I had to let the students use the restroom, as long as they claimed it was "an emergency." Even though Emmett hadn't used the restroom in about one hundred years, I had to allow him to go.

"Hurry back, Mr. McCarty," I told him.

"Yeah, you don't want to miss it if anything interesting happens," Jasper said from the back.

"I assure you Mr. Whitlock, nothing interesting is going to happen in this classroom except what comes from the characters in our books," I said back to him, hopefully emphasizing my warning with my tone.

"But isn't our life just one big story Mrs. Cullen? And with that, means we're our own characters." I was shocked to hear Edward's voice behind those words.

"Characters you might be, Mr. Masen, but whatever happens in this room will be nothing notable for a story."

Rosalie laughed from her seat, while everyone else sat there confused. "I'm sure plenty of interesting things will happen in this classroom," she said.

"That's right baby!" Emmett said, fist pumping the air. Fist pumping?

"Didn't you need to use the restroom, Emmett?" I asked angrily.

"Right," he said, running, at human pace, of course, out the door.

After he left, I handed out the course syllabus to the students. "We are going to start off with one of my favorites, 'Romeo and Juliet,'" I announced.

There was a collective groan from the class. "Don't whine," I said to them, still smiling.

"For this play, we are going to split up into groups and have different individuals act out different scenes as we go along. Shakespeare wrote his plays to be seen, so we are going to do just that. Just to make sure we get the full effect."

"Can we pick our groups?" a girl asked.

"Actually," I began, "we're going to pick out of hats. Boy names will be in one hat and girls will…" I was interrupted by hysterical laughter in the back.

"Excuse me, Ms. Brandon. Would you like to share what's so funny?" Her expression sobered immediately and Edward looked confused. Alice must have been blocking whatever she saw from him, which only worried me further.

"Sorry, Mrs. Cullen," she said compassionately.

"As, I was saying, we will be choosing characters and partners from the hats and then act them out as a group in front of everybody. I will assign each group to do one scene and you better believe this will be a part of your grade," I warned.

My system was a little confusing, but it was the only way I knew how to do it that prevented my obvious bias towards my husband being paired up with the skanky girls that surrounded him. I would have liked to have him as my partner, but well… the school frowned upon that kind of behavior in the classroom.

I had the list of boy names upfront with me. I pulled each name out and then that boy chose a character and a female partner from a different hat. There were multiple Romeo's and Paris', along with other smaller parts. Emmett came booming back into the classroom as we began pulling names.

"I'm back, baby, don't worry," he yelled to Rosalie, as if she was scared he went missing. Emmett laughed at his own attempt at humor and Rose merely rolled her eyes. However, the whole family knew she loved the attention it brought her.

"Emmett," I said, stopping him while he was still in the front of the room.

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen," he said in a high pitched voice, bashing his eye lashes at me like a little girl.

"Why don't you come pull your character out of the hat and choose you're female partner."

"Easy," he said dismissively. "I'll be Romeo and Rosie will be Juliet." He began to retreat back to his seat.

"I don't think so, doll face," I said, blinking my eyes at him as he had done before. "Pull from the hat, just like everybody else."

He huffed and grudgingly pulled out the names and characters. "Hell yeah!" he shouted.

I looked at the cards he got and laughed. "Okay Romeo, go sit down. Renesmee, you're his Juliet," I said, looking at my daughter who tried to act all pissy but was still smirking at Emmett's enthusiasm.

"Sorry, baby," Emmett said to Rosalie. "Looks like Nessie replaced you. Tough luck. Maybe you guys can fight it out for me later?"

Rose smacked Emmett's chest, with the back of her hand that would have crushed any human being. "She can have you," she said, winking at Ness. Rosalie was not one for affection, but ever since Renesmee was born, Rosalie acted nothing but kind and loving towards her. It was a complete 360 of how she treated Renesmee's husband, Jacob.

Jacob, however, was not too happy with the pair up. "I think it's my turn," he said, standing up and walking towards the classroom.

"Okay, Jacob." I handed him the hat for him to pull a name.

He looked at the paper and I saw Edward's face burst into a grin. "You have got to be kidding me!" Jake exclaimed.

I pulled the sheet from him and tried my hardest not to laugh. "Jacob and Rosalie. Now that will be interesting."

Jake stomped back to his desk. Rose, as always, seemed unaffected and utterly bored at the situation.

"Okay, Edward," I said, half heartedly. "It's your turn."

He got up slowly from his seat and locked eyes with me, as he approached my desk. He eyes never wavered from mine as he pulled his character and his partner's name.

"Romeo," he said, reading from the card. I sighed.

"And your partner?" I asked him.

"Lisa Jaye," he said, apologizing, holding the card out to me. I smiled at him sweetly. "I love you so much, Bella," he said, loud enough for my ears only.

"I love you too, baby," I said back to him.

Lisa's face, however, blushed red at the sound of her name. I quickly wished my face still did that for Edward, he loved that.

"Yours was so much more beautiful," he said quickly, smiling at me.

God, I love that man.

The rest of the students chose their names and characters with ease. We still had forty minutes left to the class. Block scheduling was trying to kill me. So, I decided to have the partners meet up and discuss their assigned skit.

Edward stayed up front with Lisa and they talked quietly about how they would perform. Emmett was not as quiet as he made a big production in front of his classmates. Renesmee simply laughed at her uncle and went along with his outrageous behavior. My gaze fell on Rose and Jake in the back of the room.

"Hey, Rosalie," he said.

"What, dog?"

"How did the blonde try to kill the bird?"

She glared at him. "This blonde ate it."

"No, sorry. Wrong answer," he said. "She threw it off a cliff."

"Can you fly, Jacob? I would love to throw you off a cliff."

"I have another one."

"Of course you do."

"How can you tell a FAX has been sent by a blonde?" He gave her a few seconds to respond, which she didn't. "There's a stamp on it."

"Jacob and Rosalie," I called to them. "Are you working on your assignment?"

"It's impossible to work with this idiot," Rosalie snapped.

"Speak for yourself, Blondie," Jake retorted.

"Hey, Rose. What's the difference between blondes and McDonalds?"

"Jacob!" I yelled. "You're done!"

He slid back into his seat.

"Mrs. Cullen? Mrs. Cullen?" Emmett's voice broke through my anger.

"Yes, Emmett?"

"Can Nessie and I go first?"

"No, Emmett. We're going to do the play in order."

"Pleaseeeeee?" he whined. "Just for practice!"

I sighed in exasperation. Surrendering to his request, I rose my hand in acceptance.

He stood up and pranced, yes, pranced, to the front of the room. "Come on Lochness!" I scowled at him. I hated, hated, hated that name. Nessie I could deal with, but Lochness just got under my skin. Why did my family have to screw up such a beautiful name?

"Make it fast, Emmett," I said to him.

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief," Emmett began, dramatically kneeling to one knee with his hand on his chest.

The students laughed and enjoyed his performance. He continued on, reciting the words from memory, staring at my daughter, who sat on my desk giggling.

Edward had made his way so that he was about a foot behind me, reciting all of Romeo's lines along with Emmett. I was the only one to hear him, and if my eyes still produced tears, they would be streaming down my cheek at the beauty of Edward's voice mixed with the meaning of Shakespeare's words.

"You are my beauty, my life, and my only love, Isabella," he whispered.

I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent from behind me. "For everyday of forever," I responded back to him.

"Everyday of forever," he agreed.

The bell finally rang, signaling the end of the school day. For a woman who didn't need sleep, I felt utterly exhausted. The last of the students filed out, while a bronze haired man entered the room.

"I just had a question about the assignment, Mrs. Cullen," he said while entering.

I looked at him and tilted my head. "Do you think you're inadequate to complete the assignment Mr. Cullen?"

He smiled and relaxed his shoulders. "God, it feels good to hear you call me that instead of Masen," he admitted.

I laughed at his statement. "And just for the record, Mrs. Cullen, I'm perfectly adequate to complete all of your assignments." He stayed where he was across the room but the look in his eyes displayed everything he was trying to say.

"Is that right?" I asked, sounding incredulous.

"Oh yes, I assure you."

"Then what was your question?"

"You see, I have a really bad fear of performing in front of people, I brake out in hives and sweat really bad, the whole ten yards."

"You're point?"

"I don't think I'll be able to perform with Ms. Jaye. I was thinking if I could get some warning on the day I had to perform, I could stay home, and Lisa will just have to perform with someone else."

I smiled at him sweetly, at his sentiment. "I trust you, Edward." I told him.

"And besides, I think it was the highlight of that poor girl's life when she realized you picked her name out of the hat. I wouldn't want to deny the seventeen year old of that dream, considering I was in her shoes once. I vaguely remember crushing hard on a beautiful man, coincidently, also named Edward, when I was seventeen."

"Ahh, but you see, you, my love, got your happy ending. The girl will just be led on and be devastated when she finds out I'm actually happily married with a child, to the teacher none-the-less."

"I did get my happy ending, didn't I?"

"We're just characters in our own love story, Bella," he said, smiling back at me.

"I really like our love story," I admitted.

"Yeah, I'm a fan," he said, laughing softly.

We paused for a moment, just enjoying looking at each other.

"Can we go home now?" I asked him.

"Of course, love." He retreated back to the door, sadly with out my hand in his.

Without breaking a stride, he said back to me loud and clear, "I'm going to kick Jacob's ass, by the way."


Chapter End Notes:

Smiles, I love them.

Please review and let me know if you enjoyed it. They only fuel to my addiction to all things Twilight…