The Black Balloon Contest
Title: Stolen Dawn
Your pen name: Kimmydonn
Disclaimer: I own nada. The concept is even from Stephenie Meyers books "Knock her out with drugs and cut it out of her". Big thanks to Sharebear, CullenObsession114 and Venis_envy for beta help.
Warning! Abortion and suicide within. Continue with caution.
Since I had met Edward, my life had been filled with escalating happy moments. I thought nothing could possibly top the first time he kissed me. Until he told me he loved me. Then he married me. That surely was the best moment of my life. Except for the wedding night. Of course, the first time he made love to me was the best moment of my life. The way he made me feel, the way I made him feel. Nothing could possibly give me more joy than that. It didn't even matter that he ruined it by overreacting to a few bruises I had the next day.
So, now, I was living the results of the happiest day of my life. I was pregnant with Edward's baby. I'd felt it nudging from inside me, impossible as it seemed. He was terrified. I could tell by the frozen panic on his face. In all honesty, I was scared out of my wits - but I was happy. The initial terror had waned leaving a sense of serenity. I had evidence of Edward's love growing inside me. And he was taking me home, to our family. We were going to be a family. A new happiest moment? Quite possibly.
"Don't worry, Bella. We're going to take care of everything," he assured me on the flight back from Rio. I was sorry to leave Isle Esme. It had been such a magical place; where my dreams had begun, where a new life had begun. Edward was anxious throughout the flight. He worried over my every need, my every care.
"No, really, Edward. I don't want anything to eat. My stomach isn't quite settled."
"A blanket?" he suggested, pulling one over me.
I took it with a sigh. "Really. I'm fine. A little tired." I yawned and rested my head on his shoulder.
"Sleep, love. Rest. Everything will be better soon."
I wondered how it could possibly be better. This was the epitome of my life. I had a new family, a new husband, and we were going to make our own family. I was way too young to be a mom, but if we averaged mine and Edward's ages, it didn't seem so bad. He'd make up for anything I was lacking in the parenting department I was sure. I slept peacefully, waking only when he shook my shoulder gently.
"Wha-," I stopped to clear my throat from its huskiness. "We're here already?" I mumbled as he led me off the plane. I could have slept for another hour or two. My dreams had been filled with sand and sun, moon and stars, white and black; like everything was overexposed. That was how my life felt these days. Like the sun shone just a little too brightly on me, making everything too perfect. But that was ridiculous. Things couldn't be too perfect.
Carlisle and Esme greeted us at the airport. I wasn't surprised by Rosalie's absence. And because she was missing, it wasn't a huge surprise Emmett was nowhere to be seen either. Alice and Jasper were a bit harder to explain. I would have expected Alice to tackle us as soon we she saw us and welcome us home, even if it would have been heard throughout the airport. Carlisle hovered over me as much as Edward had. I started to feel a bit overwhelmed.
"I'm fine, Carlisle. The baby is fine. I'm fine. I just want to lie down again."
"She slept most of the flight from Rio," Edward told them as he gently rubbed my hip in soothing circles with his thumb.
Esme, bless her, came to my rescue. "Of course, and these two are smothering you. Come on, Bella. You can sit in the back with me." She guided me to the Mercedes and let me rest my head on her for the drive home.
Home. The huge white house was home. I couldn't quite believe that either. I wondered how long Edward and I would stay here. Surely we'd want to have a place of our own, but not too far away. And he wants me to go to Dartmouth, though that would have to wait at least a term now.
I rubbed my growing belly, wondering just how long it might be. Obviously not the normal nine months. I'd have to feed Charlie some sort of story to keep myself in the clear. Alice would help me think of something.
The pixie was waiting downstairs when we walked in the front door. "Welcome home, Bella." Her voice wasn't quite right. It was bubbly, but it was missing something. Jasper seemed tense, but then again, he always looked that way.
"Thanks, Alice. Is anything wrong?" I asked stepping back slightly from her hug.
"Why would anything be wrong?" she asked. She gasped as the baby nudged her from inside me. "It's really in there. And it's really one of us?" She put a tentative hand to my belly and pulled it back as though it burned.
"Yes." I said with a smile. I looked to Jasper, hoping he might give me a hint. No such luck.
"Why don't you go upstairs and lie down, Bella. I'll bring you something to eat." Edward kissed my cheek.
"I'm really not hungry," I assured him, again.
"Humor me. Eggs?" he asked with his crooked smile.
"Well, if you insist." I rolled my eyes and made my way up the stairs.
Edward brought me eggs and orange juice on a tray as I lounged on his- I mean our - bed. "I love you, Bella," he whispered to me while I ate. "I'm going to make sure nothing ever hurts you."
"I know you will, Edward. I love you too." I leaned over the tray to kiss him and giggled when the baby kicked again. I rubbed my belly and winced a little at the soreness. I lifted my shirt and noticed a bruise forming. Edward's brow furrowed as he saw it too.
"It's nothing, Edward. It doesn't hurt at all."
He simply nodded and picked up the tray. His eyes avoided mine. "Make sure you rest."
"I don't know," I yawned, "how I can still be sleepy."
"The – baby – takes a lot out of you." The way he paused made me uneasy. I knew he was still in shock. I was too. That must have been it. My brain was feeling like it was wrapped in cotton and my eyes drifted shut.
I woke in a haze, but I wasn't on a bed. I was on a table. I could hear voices, but they were muffled, like something was stuck in my ears. "It's impervious. I'm not sure how to get through it."
Everything was black. My eyes must still have been closed. I worked to open them and was blinded by light. I squeezed them shut again, the light searing my brain. I knew I was on a table, what else could I feel? My hands. They were free and at my sides. I tried to move them and my fingers wiggled, but my hand wouldn't lift. My feet? I couldn't feel them at all. I couldn't feel anything below my ribs.
"Take the whole thing out. We can analyze it after." I tried to make my brain work. I knew that voice.
"Look at what it's done to her already. Her bladder is distended, the internal bruising..." It was Edward. What was he talking about? My bladder?
"No, I'm fine. I will never touch another drop of her blood again. I want to see this through. I would never have let it happen if I'd known. I'll be more careful in the future."
"See that you are," another voice, male, answered.
"Please, you think I want to create an abomination?"
Abomination?! What was he talking about? Not our baby! He couldn't be talking about the piece of him inside me. My feet. I couldn't feel below my ribs. No! It couldn't be! It couldn't be! I tried to fight, to scream, but all I managed was balling my hands into fists.
"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE!" I heard a female voice screech deafeningly. "What do you think you're doing?! Does she know you're doing this?"
As her voice approached normal volume I realized it was Rosalie. Rosalie was coming to my rescue? Not Alice? Not Esme? I didn't care who it was, as long as she helped me.
"It's already done, Rosalie. This thing was going to kill her. It won't have a chance now. Oh my god. Her hands, Carlisle. I think the anesthetic is wearing off." His voice was filled with sadness and dread. It fuzzed in and out of my ears. I desperately tried to remain conscious.
A few seconds later everything went black.
I woke in Edward's, our, bed. I hurt. I felt nauseous. I forced my eyes open. That was a weird dream. But I was still feeling morning sickness, so it must have been a dream. I sat up and felt a pulling in my middle.
"Careful, Bella. You'll need to sit up carefully for the next day or two," Edward said soothingly.
My eyes went wide. My hands flew to my belly and met bandages. My jaw fell open. "No," I whispered. I lifted the nightshirt I was dressed in and pulled them aside to see the staples holding my skin together. Agony crushed me. I screamed. "NO! NO!"
Edward tried to comfort me. He put his hands to my arms, but I beat at him, pushing him away. He backed off - I couldn't actually fight him off me. "Stay away from me." My voice was raspy and raw from my screaming and crying.
"Bella, I couldn't let it hurt you." His voice was tortured.
is voice H
How could everything go so wrong so quickly? I'd been on the high of my life. I'd had the perfect family, the perfect husband, and we were going to have a perfect baby. Then the man of my dreams ripped the baby out of me. Okay, it was actually his father, but that's beside the point. He condoned it. Chances were he'd counseled it.
"It?" I whispered brokenly. "Was it a girl or a boy?"
"It was female." His voice was quiet and filled with emotion now too.
I scowled as I wept. "It wasn't a monster, was it? It was a perfect little girl. And you killed her. You killed her, Edward!" I was screaming again. He was near enough now I started beating on him with my fists again, bruising them.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I only wanted to protect you."
I continued to weep and he held my fists to stop me hurting myself. My throat was raw, my tears burned in my eyes. He kept my wrists fettered until I'd cried myself out. All the while he kept murmuring that he loved me, he wanted to save me, and he was only trying to help.
He, he, he. He didn't get it. This wasn't about him. It wasn't even about me. It was about the little girl that would never be. Our daughter who never had a chance. My little nudger who would nudge me no more.
I rolled away from him and wept into my pillow. He was considerate enough to leave me be. I listened for him to go. I wanted to be anywhere that was away from Edward Cullen.
I heard the door open and tried to look covertly through my hair, hoping he was leaving. I was out of luck. Alice had come in. "How is she?"
"About as well as she sounded."
"Why don't you let me watch her for a while?"
"I'm not leaving her, Alice."
That was when I gave up my act. "Then I'm going." I was careful as I moved this time. It didn't pull at my incision. My incision. The tears were falling again already. Edward reached for me. "Get your hands off me!" I shouted at him and watched his face crumple.
"Bella, let me help you," Alice insisted and I let her help me down the stairs.
Halfway through the second flight I had to ask her, "Where were you, Alice? Why didn't you stop them? You had to know what they were doing."
She froze. "I couldn't see you anymore, Bella. The – baby," she floundered on the word too, even though now it was apparent to everyone that it had been just that, a baby, "Was invisible to me. It scared me. So when Edward told me it was hurting you, I didn't argue with him. I'm sorry, Bella. I should have."
"Yes," I said slowly. "You should have." I took my hand from her and walked the rest of the way through the house on my own. My best friend had betrayed me too. I saw Rosalie sitting on the couch with Emmett. "Rosalie, would you drive me home?"
"You can't go home yet, Bella." Carlisle was suddenly at my side. "I need to check your incision over the next week. I need to be sure you heal properly.
I turned angry eyes on him. "I'll never heal properly. What did you do with my baby?" I spat at him.
He worked his jaw, but didn't answer.
"Come with me, Bella," Rosalie took my hand and pulled me into the backyard where a very small chunk of earth had been turned. So small. My baby. I fell on my knees and put my fingers into it. I wanted her back. I wanted lay in the earth beside her. I felt tears run down my nose into the mud my hands were curled in. "She was beautiful, Bella. She looked just like Edward. She was hard, like us, but she had a heart and blood, just like you. I wish I had been in time to stop them, Bella. I wish I'd known."
"You tried, Rosalie. You're the only one who tried. Will you do me a favor?"
"Put me next to her."
"Bella..." She stroked my hair. "You can't have her back, but you have the chance of another."
What was she talking about? How could I ever have another baby? Obviously Edward had no intention of giving me another, not if he was willing to take this one. I had no intention of letting Edward touch me again.
"You can live. You can love again. We don't have that chance."
"No, Rosalie. I can't. Please. Put me next to her," I begged putting my face in my daughter's fresh grave. Mud sticking to my cheeks and lips I continued to plead. "Make it fast. Make it go away."
"I can't do that, Bella. I would do anything else for you. But not that." She turned and left me to my grief.
Then came the woman who would know best what I was thinking. "I'm so sorry, Bella."
"Will you do it for me, Esme? Will you put me in the ground next to her. Please?" I turned and clutched her lacy white blouse, leaving brown-black smears. "You couldn't go on either. This is worse. Your husband didn't take your baby." More sobs ripped from me and I put my face between her breasts, my tears leaving their own marks. Her hand tenderly stroked my tangled, matted hair. I burst into more tears knowing I had never gotten the chance to do the same with my daughter.
"Bella, I made the wrong choice. I don't want you to make the same. You can go on. You can live. You are strong enough."
"Fine!" I yelled, pushing her away. "I don't need any of you." I turned and walked to the river's edge.
"No, you don't, Bella Cullen," Edward growled.
"I told you to keep your filthy hands off me!" I ripped myself from his grip. I couldn't see his perfect face clearly through my tears. "You killed her. You've killed me too. Plan your next trip to Volterra, because my next swan dive is going to be even less graceful than the last!" I turned and ran, falling less than twenty feet away. I tried to get up, but my incision burned, and I vomited from the nausea that hadn't ceased. My head hurt from crying, but I couldn't stop. The tears had no end.
I was being carried by Edward back into the house. I struggled, but he held me tight. "Let me go!"
"No. You aren't going anywhere until you're well."
I slapped him. It stung my hand. I saw the hurt in his eyes. "I am not staying with you. I will never trust you again, Edward. I cannot stay in this house. This house where I was violated, mutilated. Where my daughter was-" My voice choked off in a sob.
"Give her to me." It was the voice I least expected to hear.
"Why would I do that?" Edward demanded.
"Because I'm the only one that can calm her," Jasper claimed.
Edward frowned but complied. I felt immediately tired as I settled in Jasper's arms. I wanted to fight, but the lethargy was too strong. My head lolled into his chest. "Don't worry, Bella," he whispered.
I had heard that before. Still something made me trust Jasper. He carried me through the house and out the front door. "Where…?" I couldn't finish the sentence, my tongue so thick with sleep.
"I'm going to take you to the line. One of the wolves will take you to Jacob."
Jacob. He would kill Edward for this. I couldn't be sad about that. "Thank you." The lethargy eased and I could open my eyes fully. The grief came back with the energy though.
"I wish I could help you more, Bella. But grief isn't something I can make go away."
"There is one way. You want to. I know you do. You could do it for me, couldn't you, Jasper? Please?"
"No, Bella." His voice was cold, but there wasn't denial in it.
I took a deep breath. I hated the taste of blood, but it would only be for a second. I bit down on my tongue, as hard as I could, then I spat the blood at Jasper.
The effect was immediate and perfect. His mouth closed on mine and he pulled my tongue into his. He bit through it again, drawing more of my blood. I whimpered, but put my arms around his neck. I shoved my lip into his mouth after my tongue, urging him to draw more. I didn't want to change, I wanted to die. He had to drink.
I felt burning in my mouth and knew it had to be faster. I ripped my face from his and watched blood spray between us. I tipped my head back, baring my neck. "Bella," he moaned. His teeth pierced my throat and everything went delightfully dark.
"Momma!" I heard my baby calling me - calling me to my new home.