AN: 5-16-10- Okay... so I accidently deleted the original document for this while fixing the chapters and being the moron I am, I forgot to save it on Word. So this is the redone version which is scavenged from what I remember I wrote for this.
Urgh... I'm such an idiot.

Bathroom Battles

"Beast Boy!" Raven pounded on the bathroom door, clutching her (gothic) rubber duck. The sound of a running shower, along with Beast Boy's off-key singing, could be heard through the entire hallway. "Hurry up!"

Beast Boy continued singing. Either he couldn't hear Raven over his own voice, or he was simply ignoring her. Raven suspected the latter.

"Urgh... if he sings that stupid song one more time..." Raven pinched the bridge of her nose.

"P-P-POKER FAAACE!" Beast Boy screeched. Raven instantly blasted the door open and Beast Boy shrieked, attempting to cover his naked self up.

"You've been in there for three hours. What on earth could you have possibly been doing for three hours?" Raven hissed, glaring at him.

"I was shaving." Beast Boy huffed, wrapping the shower curtain around himself.

Raven turned around and walked away.


"Alright Titans, due to an anonymous complaint from one of you-"

Raven coughed inconspicuously.

"I've decided to make a bathroom schedule for the five of us." Robin paused to let the words sink in.

"Yo, what the hell?" Cyborg slammed his fists on the table. "We don't need a schedule!"

"I agree! As I have once heard Beast Boy put it, schedules are for "motha f*ckin newbs"!" Starfire added in. Cyborg gaped at her and she meekly sat down, giggling apologetically.

"Titans, please, let me speak!" Robin shouted over Cyborg and Beast Boys' protesting. "Okay, I've organized which days we'll each get the bathroom to ourselves. Raven will get Mondays and Tuesdays, Cyborg will get Wednesdays and Thursdays, Starfire gets Saturdays and Sundays, and I'll just have Fridays since I don't need to wash my hair every day." Robin sniffed, running a hand through his stiff hair.

"Dude! What about me?" Beast Boy exclaimed.

"Oh, you get the potted fern at the end of the hall." Robin waved a hand dismissively. "Just be sure to put a newspaper or something beneath it first."

"Wait, Robin, your schedule makes no sense at all." Raven spoke up. "If we all just get two days- or in your case, one day- to use the bathroom, how the hell will we last for the rest of the week?"

"But I thought humans only use the restroom every nine months?" Starfire inquired, tilting her head.

"No, Starfire, that's pregnancy." Raven sighed.

"So earthlings give birth to offspring every nine months? No wonder your planet is so overpopulated." Starfire huffed, leaning back in her seat.

"Forget it." Raven said dismissively.

"Uh, guys, how did this whole thing even start?" Cyborg asked hesitantly.

"Because someone took too long in the bathroom." Raven glared at Beast Boy.

"Hey! I need to shave regularly!" Beast Boy propped a leg up on the table and rolled up his pant leg. Everyone screamed at the sight of the thick green fur.

"DEAR GOD BEAST BOY PUT THAT THING AWAY!" Robin bellowed, covering his eyes- er, mask- with his hands.

"See? See? It grows back really quickly!" Beast Boy said.

"I think I'm going to be sick..." Cyborg groaned.

"Perhaps we do need a bathroom schedule..." Starfire murmured.

"That isn't going to work, Starfire." Raven pointed out.

"Then we need an alternative!" Beast Boy pounded a fist in his hand. "I say we fight over bathroom privileges!"

"So we'll fight in a series of violent and dangerous battles over who gets the bathroom?" Robin tilted his head. He grinned. "Sounds good to me!"

"I will DESTROY you all!" Beast Boy declared.

"A wonderful plan!" Starfire grinned, her eyes flashing dangerously.

"Loser gets the potted fern!" Cyborg hastily added in.

Raven facepalmed.


AN: I think it's somewhat close to the original... ugh, I'm such an idiot...
Feedback will be greatly appreciated.