A/N: Howdy folks! Welcome to my latest B&B fic. Sooner or later, necking will occur: that's the Calliopeiamuse08 guarantee. This fic is a bit of a scary one for me, because the first chapter features Drunk!Booth, which I have never written before. Please review and let me know how I did. I love all reviews equally, as if they were my own children - moreso, in fact, because I have no children. When you review, you fill up my empty, empty life with tokens of appreciation that I can delude myself into mistaking for legitimate human affection. So please do! :D
Anyhoo, the chapter is below. You know what to do.
Sunday, March 21, 11:47 pm.
"And the thing is, I want Rebecca to be happy," Booth slurred, hunched over the bar, "and this guy, he's like, a good guy, you know? Like, a really good guy. So why am I so… miserable?"
This was the most inebriated that Brennan had ever seen Booth. It was amusing, but sad at the same time, since he obviously felt a lot of emotional turmoil over Rebecca's wedding.
"Maybe it's because, now, I know she'll never take me back," he mused. "There maybe was a chance before but now, never. Never. But the thing is, Bones, I don't want to be back with Rebecca. At least, I don't think I do. Can you want something and not know you want it?" He threw back another shot and slammed down the glass.
Brennan glanced at the glass with some anxiety. "Maybe it's time you went home," she suggested. "I can give you a ride."
He stared at the glass. "Ummm. Okay. But how about some more Jack Daniels first?"
"No," she told him firmly. "You've had enough."
In the car, he resumed the train of thought he'd been pursuing in the bar. "Maybe it's because of Parker. Maybe I'm worried that Parker won't want his real dad when he's got a stepdad. Probably buying him gifts and shit. Which is stupid, right? Because the guy's an accountant, and everybody… everybody knows FBI is way cooler than accountant. I will always be Parker's cool dad. I will always be Parker's cool dad."
He rested his head against the window, and put his hand on the glass. "I will always be Parker's cool dad," he mumbled. Then he turned his head back to Brennan. "What was I talking about before?"
"You were trying to discern why Rebecca's wedding upset you," she reminded him.
"Oh, yessssss," he said, hissing the word between his clenched teeth. Then he chuckled. "You know what Sweets would say? Sweets would say, it's because, it's because Rebecca's life is moving forward, and not mine."
"Here we are," Brennan announced, pulling up to the apartment complex. "I'll walk you up."
Booth snorted. "You'll walk me up. You'll walk me up. Listen, Bones, I am A-o-kay." He rolled his head towards the daunting-looking set of stairs, and reconsidered. "Okay, I will let you come up with me. This one times. Alright?"
They struggled up the stairs, and made it to the door. Booth produced his key, but Brennan unlocked the door herself to save time. She led him into his living room and unceremoniously plopped him on the couch.
"Her life is moving forward," he continued. "Mine is not. She's married, and what have I got?" He flung his arms wide, gesturing around to the apartment. "An empty apartment. A TV. A couch. Not a girlfriend, not a wife."
"You have me," Brennan reminded him. "I brought you to your empty apartment, remember?"
He beamed at her. "Oh yeah. You're the best, Bones." Then his face fell. "But I don't really have you."
Brennan was confused. She knew it was just drunken rambling, but still… "What do you mean?"
"I mean, you don't love me back," Booth explained, closing his eyes and laying down on the couch. "And you're so pretty, and you go out with all these guys, and it's like you don't even see how much I want to be with you, how much I love you…" He sighed a long-suffering sigh. "And I can't tell you because then you'll just – you'll just get a new partner, that's what you'll do. And then I'll be all alone in the world."
"I… see," Brennan said slowly, uncertain of how to take this news.
Suddenly the words he had just spoken seemed to register in Booth's mind, and his eyes snapped open. "Oh! Shit! I just told you!" he exclaimed, smacking his forehead. "Please don't be mad, I'm really sorry, I didn't – I wasn't going to tell you. I'm really sorry."
Brennan leaned down and awkwardly patted his shoulder. "It's… alright, Booth. Just – go to sleep." She was more than a little shaken by his words, but she still wasn't sure out how much to write off to the high alcohol content of his blood and how much was sincere.
He seemed to calm down. "Alright. Alright. Sleep. Sleep sounds good. Thanks for driving me home," he said.
She smiled at him. "You're welcome." She turned to leave.
"Hey, Bones," he whispered, in a very loud stage whisper that could have been heard by anyone in the room.
She turned back. "Yes?"
"Since I already said it…" He looked at her then with such reverence and adoration shining in his eyes that for a moment she lost her breath. "I love you. I really do. "
"Well. Thank you," she stammered, and she quickly left the apartment, uncertain of what to think or feel.