A/N: This one's been sitting on my computer for a while, completely finished, and I admit, I'm a little hesitant to put it on here. But I figured I'd go ahead and put the first chapter up to see if anyone is interested in reading. This chapter is more of a preview/introduction and it's kind of short, just to kind of establish the setting/situation/characters and all that stuff. I do have a couple warnings/notices about this story, and here they are:
1. The first two chapters were originally written in third person because I wanted to try that point of view, but I quickly found that it was just not for me. For some reason, I can't write femslash in third person because of all the "she"s and it just ends up aggravating me because I'm never sure the reader can tell which girl I'm talking about. First person makes that a lot easier, obviously, so I just kind of took the time and converted the first two chapters into first person, then proceeded to continue on with writing the story. Unfortunately, this makes the first two chapters a little hard/awkward to read (at least for me) for some reason, but I don't know, maybe you guys will find it easier. I just figured I should mention this so that if anyone is bothered by the way the first two chapters are written because it just seems awkward to you, you now know that that's going to change with the beginning of chapter three.
2. I don't want to spoil so I won't give out any details, but I will say that although the odds are low, this may deal with/reference a topic that hits home for some people (but like I said, I think the odds are extremely low, and let me stress the word "extremely"). But I still figured a general warning would be appropriate, although I'm pretty sure most people should be okay since it's just a story and personally I think I handled the topic pretty delicately. Also, I am not an expert on this topic so if I screwed some things up, I apologize in advance. I did do my research, though, so I tried :)
3. This is rated M mostly for language, except for the last chapter, where it's the good kind of M ;)
Anywho, guess what? I got the idea for this story in the weirdest way: I just pulled up a word document, put my Ipod on shuffle, and typed out the first eight songs that came up. Then I used them for inspiration! And this is what I ended up writing. I tried doing it again to see what the hell I'd come up with the second time around and I got songs like "Lipgloss" by Lil Mama and "Circus" by Britney Spears (ahem...not that those were on my Ipod or anything). Ah, well, guess it was a one-time thing. If anyone wants to know the eight songs, I'll gladly post them as the story moves along whenever it's convenient (some songs will give stuff away so I'll have to wait).
Anyway, for those of you who have not been dissuaded by the idea of a possibly crap first two chapters, my warning about sensitive topics, or the one-hundred percent chance of M-rated Spashley smut (gasp!), onward to the story! It's another one in Ashley's POV 'cause I'm a sucker for lovestruck/confused Ashley and oblivious/sweet Spencer. Except this one's got a twist or two, so look out!
I hate life.
Well, it's not so much life itself I hate; I rather like living, actually…but really just my life.
It's boring, and I've begun to lose interest in doing the same thing every day, but I figure that's kind of what happens when you're rich: you lose your motivation to do anything. And I haven't ever exactly been the most motivated person ever anyway, but give a lazy person millions of dollars, and all you get is an even lazier person. So I go to school every day in my six-figure car, stay semi-conscious in my classes, and occasionally talk to the people that call themselves my friends: Aiden Dennison, Madison Duarte, and the rest of the jocks and cheerleaders.
Mostly, they're all pretty boring, except Aiden, who's okay for an occasional fuck now and then, although I'm rather partial to girls because they're softer and they know what they're doing (not that my friends know this), and so I don't really do that much talking during the day anyway, which makes sleeping a lot easier and pretty convenient.
And then there's this girl. Spencer Carlin is her name, I'm pretty sure, and in those rare cases where I'm awake and aware of what's going on around me, I catch her staring at me. We have almost every class together, so I figure maybe after one glimpse she'd realize that I pretty much look the same every day or would just take a picture or something, but no, Spencer keeps on staring, and half the time I wonder if maybe I have something on my face. But I don't want to check with my hand or a mirror because then I might look stupid, so I just spend my time feeling self-conscious or embarrassed instead.
Sometimes I go to Aiden's after school, when I'm horny and don't feel like hitting up a club for some drunk chick, and we fuck, and I feel kind of dirty afterwards, partially because Aiden's dating Madison and I feel a bit like a home wrecker, but partially because Aiden's a guy, and he's a guy who I know would dump Madison in a second if I were to tell him that fucking him means something to me. But both Aiden and I know it doesn't, and Aiden's always been a bit of a whore anyway, so he stays with Madison, and Madison stays clueless, and everyone stays pretty happy that way as far as I can tell.
When I don't go to Aiden's, I either go to some club or just head straight home. My house is more of a mansion than a house, and my mom, Christine, is more of a bitch than a mother, which means our maid, who I often come home to every afternoon, can hardly speak English. I have the power to fire our maids, but I've learned by now not to, because Christine will just hire another one that knows even less English. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't sleep in Spanish class, but I do, so it is.
My dad, Raife, is only home on the weekends, and he is such a teenage boy on the inside that he and I get along better than he and Christine do. He's the lead singer of a famous band, but they don't tour that often anymore so he spends more time at home than he used to. I can remember being five and looking forward to Christmas because I could finally see my father, not because of the many presents I was going to get. His only major fault is that, like Aiden, he's a bit of a whore, and I have overheard my parents talking about some half-sister of mine that lives across the country in Baltimore, but I know we'll never meet, and by now it's had time to sink in that I have a sister, so at this point I don't really care. My dad loves me more, anyway, and that's all that really matters.
Despite the money and the clubbing and the sex and the secret sister, though, I still find my life boring. And so I figure I should mix things up a bit. I mean, have you ever just felt the need to make a change all of a sudden? It's like that.
I think back on my average day at school, even walk myself through it in my mind, and think about what I could do to change things up, what I could do differently to my day to make things more interesting.
My first thought is that I could kiss Aiden in front of Madison or something, because even though Madison is my friend, she and I are both sort of bitches so I could probably do it without remorse and Madison would deserve it, but then I decide that that's the kind of thing that creates a lot of drama, and there's already enough of that in high school. Sure, I'm bored, but having Madison up my ass all the time would just make my life suck more than it already does. And Aiden would get the wrong idea and he'd be all over me too and then it would just be annoying.
So anyway, I'm in second period, half-asleep like usual in the back of the classroom, when I catch Spencer Carlin staring at me again, and since it's aggravating enough anyway and I've kind of always wanted to say something, I decide I know what to change for today. "Hey, what the hell are you always looking at me for?"
I mean, I'm not exactly expecting this to change my life forever or anything, but at least it's a start.