Broken Hearts

Mark Sloan was a walking ball of fury. The anger seemed to be radiating off his skin. The nurses cleared out of the way as he stampeded down the hallway. Interns avoided his eyes. Even the residents knew not to get in his way. Pissed was an understatement. He wanted to grab Alex Karev by the throat and knock his lights out. Mark couldn't have him in his OR. He couldn't look at him. But no matter how hard he tried, all he saw was him. All he saw was Karev and her, like a never ending movie playing in his head—continuously, constantly, over and over again.

What happened to her? Lexie Grey—the most beautiful, great, smart, woman he loved. She was gone now, infected by him. When she was a brunette, Lexie was clever, sweet, and perfect. Now her hair was ruined—bleached and fake, like her heart. She was the one for him. The one. Before her, he was a whore. A complete, utter, repulsive whore. She changed that. Lexie was intoxicating. He didn't need anybody else when he had her. But now look at him. Mark was sleeping with two, three, four women a day. Back to old habits. He was practically a walking STD now. Lexie destroyed him.

Mark sat on the bench in the hallway and put his head in his hands. He kept on thinking What happened to Lexie? But now he was thinking, What happened to him? He was better than this. He was better than the wrecked, miserable, broken man he was acting like. But he didn't know how else to act. Mark was broken. Lexie broke him when she left him. Sloan broke him when she left him. Karev broke him when Mark learned he slept with Lexie. Mark was a broken man. But he couldn't help to think it might be his own fault. He drove Lexie away. He made her feel unimportant, unneeded, and practically invisible next to Sloan. Mark's over the top love for Sloan's unborn child was suffocating. He loved her too much, and loved Lexie too little. Mark couldn't forget his encounter with Addison. He remembered when he thought he loved her. He remembers when he thought that it wasn't just sex with her, it was making love. But when Mark slept with her again, it was sad. He was thinking of Lexie the entire time. She knew that and he knew that. Her tall frame felt unnatural in his arms. Her red hair didn't feel right tangled in his fingers. Her lips didn't fit perfectly into his. There was no love. Addison was beautiful, but no one was as beautiful as Lexie.

He truly knew that this was his own doing. She slept with someone else. But he slept with someone else too. He knew he had to forgive her. Mark just hoped she'd forgive him. Then there was Alex. Mark thought of how immature he was about the whole situation. He decided he should apologize for kicking him out of the OR...multiple times. Mark thought about what Callie yelled at him for just minutes ago. And she was right to. Mark was not going to be a bitter, heart broken man. He was better than this. He was a surgeon. Hell, he was Mark freakin' Sloan. Mark got off the bench when he saw Karev exit an on-call room. He went up to him.

Mark began apologizing—something that was rare and uncomfortable for him to do. He went on until he heard the door of the on-call room open again. Lexie walked out, hair astray and out of breath. He stared at Karev who just gave him a guilty look. Mark forgot about everything he had just gone through in his mind. Callie was wrong. He was right. If he wanted to be a bitter man, he would be. If he wanted to kick people out of his OR, he would. Lexie just glanced at him and said, "Hey." Mark was furious. All she said was hey? Hey? HEY? That's all she offered him. Lexie had already ripped out Mark's heart and now she was just stampeding on it. He was done. Mark walked away. He couldn't stand to look at them anymore.

Mark lay in bed later that night with another woman. He'd give her another five minutes until he kicked her out. She was a brunette. She was clever. She was pretty. But she wasn't Lexie. No one could be his Lexie.

Little did he know, mere miles away, Lexie Grey lay in bed with Alex Karev. He was in a deep sleep and didn't notice all of her silent sobs. Alex was a good surgeon. He was kind. He was funny. He was handsome. But he wasn't Mark. No one could be her Mark.