Knock 'Em Out

A/N: Hello, everyone! This one occurred to me after listening to Lily Allen's "Knock 'Em Out" a little while ago, and I just got around to writing it. Just a fun Garcia/Reid friendship story. Enjoy, hopefully!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognizable. Including, but not limited to: Criminal Minds, the characters, a bar, or the song "Knock 'Em Out."


You can't knock 'em out, you can't walk away
You try desperately to think of the politest way to say:
Just get out my face, just leave me alone, and no, you can't have my number,
'Cause I lost my phone.

~Knock 'Em Out- Lily Allen


On a Friday night, Reid and Garcia sat at a bar in a small, out-of-the-way place Reid had never heard of. It was a fairly nice place, but a little seedier than Reid would have expected Garcia to pick. She had chosen the place to go because it was she who had insisted on going out in the first place. "C'mon, sweet cheeks, you should never drink alone!" She had whined until he had caved in and gone out with her after work.

So they had taken a cab to the establishment they currently sat in, ordered drinks, and talked about anything that crossed their minds, though Garcia had banned 'psychobabble.' "Hey, Reid, watch my drink, I must go find the ladies' room." Garcia said at a lull in the conversation.

"Sure." Reid pulled her drink over next to his and waited patiently for her return.

Suddenly, an uproar of laughter at one of the tables made him turn. There was a woman who looked to be in her late 30s standing by table occupied by two younger men, laughing at something neither of them seemed to find funny. Her laughter died down and she sauntered away from the table, scanning the room for, presumably, more young men. Before Reid could look away, she caught him watching her in fascination and smiled to herself. Reid could only hope she hadn't seen him as he attempted to look nonchalant at the bar. His hopes were dashed, however, when a voice came from behind him. "Well, hello, there. What's a guy like you doing alone on a Friday night?"

"I- uh, I'm actually not alone…" Reid began.

"Well, I don't see anyone else here." The woman said, stepping up beside him and looking around.

"My friend is just in the restroom, she'll be back in a minute." He told her.

"Oh, I'm sure." She was so close to him now that he could smell the alcohol on her breath as her words slurred slightly. "Well?"

Reid turned to face her, confused. "Well, what?" He asked.

"Aren't you going to offer me a drink? You've got two there." She said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"This drink is for my friend…" Reid could see he was making little headway in politely making the woman go away.


Meanwhile, Garcia left the restroom and saw a woman standing next to Reid. Well, well, maybe we'll find Reid a nice girl yet… She thought to herself. However, the more she watched, the more she realized that the older woman was most likely not a 'nice girl.' In fact, Reid didn't look very pleased at all as she breathed in his ear. Oh, poor Reid, she's not getting the message. Garcia thought as she began to make her way back to the bar to help Reid shoo away the woman.

However, as she got closer, the woman went for broke, wrapping her arms around Reid's slender shoulders. Reid only sat there, frozen in shock. He wasn't much for physical contact at the best of times and he did not like to have it thrust upon him. That was it for Garcia. She marched over and placed a firm hand on the woman's arm, pulling her off Reid. "Excuse me, just what do you think you're doing?" She demanded of the woman.

"Back off, Missy, this isn't your business." The woman sneered.

"Oh, you think so, huh? Well, that just so happens to be my boyfriend you're hanging all over." Garcia spoke quickly, ignoring the way Reid's eyes widened in shock.

The woman looked Garcia up and down and snorted. "Yeah, right. Well, if you are dating, I'm doing him a favor." She placed her hands on Reid's shoulders and turned away from Garcia. "So buzz off, Tubby."

Garcia gaped in shock, unsure of how to respond. Reid, however, had had quite enough. "Get your hands off of me!" He said, a little louder than he meant to.

The woman was so surprised she did as he asked. "We came here to relax, not to be bothered and insulted by a drunk who can't take a hint, so I think you should apologize to my girlfriend." Reid continued with Garcia's cover, standing up and placing an arm around her shoulders.

The woman's eyebrows went up as she looked between the two of them and then snorted again. "You expect me to apologize to her?" She asked.

When Reid's expression didn't change she simply shook her head angrily and walked away in a huff. Reid opened his mouth to call after her, but Garcia interrupted him. "C'mon Reid, let's just go."

Reid shut his mouth and nodded, leading Garcia out the door. Once they left the bar, he let his arm drop off her shoulders. "I'm sorry, Garcia, I think I got a little carried away…" He began to apologize, now that his anger was fading.

"Are you kidding me? I think I owe you a drink for that impressive display of manliness!" Garcia told him with a smile, nudging him in the side.

Blushing profusely, Reid shook his head. "If anything, I owe you a drink for coming to the rescue in the first place." He said.

"Well, okay, Dr. Reid. You buy me a drink, and I'll buy you a drink, how's that?"

"Sound good to me." Reid said with a smile.

"Good. I'm pretty sure I saw a bar down the road, so shall we?" She asked, holding her arm out.

After a moment's hesitation, Reid linked arms with her and nodded. "Yes, we shall."

"Y'know a girl could get used to being your girlfriend if you're always that chivalrous." Garcia told him with a smile.

Reid could only blush as he listened to Garcia's laughter in the clear night air.


A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.

~Douglas Pagels


A/N: Not bad… I rather like Garcia and Reid's friendship and it was fun to show Spence getting to defend someone for once… Hope you liked it! Drop me a review, if you feel like it.