Disclaimer: I do not own anybody in the WWE. I only own the creation of Lilly. I also do not own the lyrics to the song.

Author's Note: So here's my newest story. Very angst-y, if I do say so myself. Let me know what you think please. Reviews are the best thing to help an author know what you think. :) I was also unsure of who to use for Lilly's husband but John Morrison will work fine. And yes, I'm using his REAL last name because that's his real name.

Read. Review. Enjoy


Silence just keeps screaming back at me
The ones I love are lost in memories
And I wish that I could take back what was done
You can only change the person you've become
I have to try and find a way
To leave it all behind

Crash and Burn by Lifehouse


His eyes focused on them as they walked through the doors to the building. The WWE was currently doing promotional work for Wrestlemania and it required every superstar and diva that was on the card to be there and so there they were, one of his close guy friends and his ex best female friend. They were married now and on the Smackdown brand. Nobody had seen their relationship going anywhere; not after his break up with Melina and what had happened between her and her now ex best friend, Randy Orton. Not even Randy could say that the two would last.

"Look, there she is, man," John said, as he pointed them out to Randy as if Randy couldn't all ready see them, his blue eyes on her all ready.

"I know, shut it Cena before I kick your skull in," Randy grumbled before getting up and stalking off to the boyfriend, the memories of what happened two years ago running through his mind.

Flashback

She giggled as she walked into the hotel room she had opted to share with her best friend, Randy Orton. She trusted him enough not to make sexual advances on her even though she was in love with him. She knew she was a little drunk but tipsy never hurt anybody; plus she'd helped Randy in and out of places when he was full out drunk. She flipped the lights on to see Randy in the middle of having sex with her best girl friend, Barbie.

"Oh," she stammered, the color draining from her face as her eyes were focused on what was happening in front of her and she couldn't seem to tear her eyes away.

"Oh shit, Lilly," Randy stammered as he struggled to pull himself away from Barbie and when he finally did, he fell out onto the floor, butt naked.

Barbie wrapped the blanket around her body staring at her best friend, a guilt ridden look plastered all over her face. Barbie knew how Lilly felt about Randy but she couldn't stop herself from doing what she had just done. Lilly watched as Randy pulled his boxers on, speechless and she couldn't help but feel her heart break. She barely felt her purse slip off of her shoulder and fall to the floor; its contents spilling out onto the floor.

"Lilly, I'm so sorry," Barbie said her tone obviously filled with remorse.

Lilly still didn't say anything, looking at the scene as if it was unfolding in slow motion before her eyes. She finally snapped back to reality and felt the tears that were fresh on her cheeks.

"It's fine, it's just sex," she mumbled, lying about it being fine but she didn't want Randy to know about her feelings. "You guys can finish, I'll go room with Cody."

Broken hearted, she turned and left the hotel room without a word. She heard Randy call after her but that didn't stop her as her pace began to pick up and soon enough she was in a full out run to Cody and Ted's hotel room.

The Next Day at the Arena

Lilly was sitting in the divas' locker room, her back against the wall and her head leaned back as well. Her blue eyes were closed as she tried to force the images of her best friend and her other best friend in bed together. She heard the door open and then heard multiple voices around her before she heard her name called. She opened her eyes and looked up to see Barbie standing in front of her.

"Lilly, I'm so sorry," she apologized looking down at her best friend. "I don't know why I did it but it just happened, you have to believe me. I'm your best friend, I wouldn't lie to you."

Lilly got up to her feet and gently pushed past Barbie, choosing to ignore her for the time being before going over to get her stuff. She had all ready wrestled for the house show and was free to leave whenever she wanted. She slung her duffel bag over her shoulder before walking out into the hallway, Barbie following her.

"Please, Lilly say something to me," Barbie pleaded, staring at her best friend's back. "I'm your best friend, say something to me."

Lilly took a deep breath before turning to look at Barbie. She noticed the tears that were evident in Barbie's eyes but for once, she didn't care.

"You're not my best friend, Barbie. Not anymore," Lilly said, her voice calm and collected as her blue eyes stared into Barbie's.

"Don't say that Lil, it was just a mistake," Barbie sputtered as the tears began to fall.

"No, it wasn't a mistake, Barbara. You are a filthy whore and you know what? I kept your biggest secret of how you got into the WWE and you know what? I'm done keeping it. I'm going to let everybody know you screwed Vince to get a contract," Lilly hissed at her former friend.

Barbie's eyes widened as she looked at Lilly and the tears became sobs and more tears. Lilly just shook her head.

"I should have known that I couldn't trust you with my secret; heaven forbid it. I should have listened to Maryse when she told me that you were a whore and that you were just looking for a good fuck."

"Lilly, I'm sorry! I was drunk, he was drunk and it just happened!" Barbie cried as she looked around the hallway as an audience began to form.

"You knew how I felt about him, Barbara! You should have been a better friend and walked the fuck away from him the minute you took a drink of alcohol because you know one drink and you're gone," Lilly yelled at Barbara in the hallway. "You knew that I was in love with Randy. You knew it."

Lilly turned to walk away but ran straight into Randy's chest. She bit her bottom lip before looking up at him and before she could stop them, the tears were flowing down her face. His eyes looked into hers and he reached his hand up to wipe the tears away but she turned away from him.

"We can't be friends anymore, Randy," She whispered before running down the hallway and out of his view.

End of Flashback

He sighed to himself as he pushed the bathroom door open, having stopped as the vivid memories flashed through his mind. He seriously hated himself for doing that to her, to breaking her and to be oblivious to the fact that she was head over heels in love with him. He hadn't even thought that she felt the same way about him as he felt about her; it didn't even cross his mind so he hooked up with any diva he could. But now, to see her happy with John Hennigan it broke his heart.

***

She smiled at her husband of just a few short months as he clasped her hand in his, happy to be with her for the time being. She didn't have to be there at the promotional event but as John Hennigan's wife, she promised him she'd be there to support him for his match at the grandest stage of them all. She knew that everybody from the RAW roster would be there and that Randy would be there as well but for once, she didn't care. She was happy in her marriage with John and she had be utterly happy during the relationship before the marriage. Of course, she heard the rumors that she was just the rebound girl after Melina and she knew he heard the rumors that he was just somebody to fill the empty spot in her heart where Randy had been.

"I'm going to go say hi to Maryse and the girls," Lilly said before placing a soft kiss on her husband's lips.

"Okay, I'm going to talk to Mike," John informed her as he returned the small, affectionate kiss before watching her walk away.

Lilly sighed as she ran a hand through her blonde hair, she loved the time around WrestleMania, it became so crazy busy that it was almost dangerous to one's personal well being. She loved everything about it being too crazy to care about one's feelings and she knew that two years ago this time, she was in too deep with her best friend Randy Orton and soon, it had come crashing down around them.

Flashback

She pulled the door open to her bedroom in her luxurious house, the one she had gotten from her illustrious career of being a diva. She was more than tired and she was more than exhausted but she didn't know the word for it. She pulled her cell phone out as it began to play Break Even by The Script. She looked at the name on the text message she had just received before just putting the device on the dresser. It was him; she didn't want to talk to him ever again. And she didn't want to let him use her spare bedroom for the night so he could avoid his family.

She loved living on her own, enjoying her own life and being single; she didn't care if she was so in love with him that it hurt, she wasn't going to break down the wall she had just worked so hard on building to push him out of her life. She walked over to her bed after flipping the lights off and climbed in, ready to go to sleep. She pulled the covers up over her body before turning her television on and letting the sounds of the late night show soothe her to sleep.

A few hours later, she was jerked away by her doorbell going off. She sat up and rubbed her blue eyes before getting out of bed. She hurried down the hallway and down her stairs before looking out the front window to see him standing there. She sighed before leaning against the wall, trying to decide whether or not to open the door or not.

She remembered all to well what had happened not only two weeks ago, the incident that had she had walked in on with him and her no ex best girl friend, Barbie Blank. She was so in love with Randy that she couldn't bring herself to forgive him for sleeping with her best girl friend and she couldn't forgive Eve for disregarding what she felt for Randy.

She took a deep breath before turning and opening the door and expecting to see a drunk, belligerent Randy Orton but was shocked when she couldn't smell the alcohol pouring off of his skin. She bit her bottom lip and glance out into her driveway to see his Hummer 2 parked perfectly behind her own 2010 Ford Mustang. She went to shut the door in his face because he was sober but he stopped her, placing his hand in the way and overpowering her with his strength.

"No, Lilly, we need to talk," Randy demanded as he made his way into her house and took a seat on her luxurious leather couch.

Her breath caught in her chest as she saw him take a seat on her couch. She knew that he knew how she felt about him now and she didn't know what she was going to do or if she could even handle being in the same room with him now. She slowly shut the front door as she attempt to catch her breath and she walked into the living room and took a seat in her reclining chair, trying to stay as far as she could from him.

"Why are you ignoring me, Lilly? We're best friends," Randy said, his blue orbs looking over at her as she sat in the chair, trying to keep herself glued together.

"We're not friends anymore, Randy. Didn't you hear me tell you that we couldn't be friends anymore?" she asked her voice quivering slightly as she tried to keep herself from breaking down.

He looked at her and he could tell that in any second she could break down in tears and he hated to see any girl cry. He also didn't do tears, always promising himself he would remove himself from the situation if there were tears involved but this was Lilly, his best friend since she had been signed to a WWE contract, he couldn't just abandon her now. Especially with the way he really, truly felt about her.

"Lilly, you don't mean that," he said softly, watching her every movement. "You can't be upset with what happened between Barbie and I; it meant nothing."

"Then why does it hurt me so much, Randy?" she asked the tears finally spilling down her face as she broke down crying.

Randy mentally cursed inside his head before getting up and walking over to the chair. He pulled her up and sat down before pulling her into his lap, letting her cry against his shoulder. He wouldn't have understood why it hurt her so much if she hadn't have let everybody know accidentally that she was in love with him.

"Please, Lilly, don't cry. I don't love Barbie, I will never love Barbie, ever," Randy cooed in Lilly's ear, trying anything to soothe her tears.

"I hate you Randy, I hate you," she cried against his chest as she let him hold her for the moment. "I want you to get out of my house, please."

"You don't mean that Lilly," Randy tried to say and tried to hold onto her tighter but she managed to push away from him and stand on her own two feet.

She looked at him, her green eyes still filling with tears as she wrapped her arms around her middle. He hated to see her like this and he hated himself for being a stupid, weak man and not telling her how he felt before sleeping with Barbie.

"Get out of my house, Randy; I never want to see you again," she said with a little more authority to her voice.

He had no choice but to leave, wiping away the tears in his own eyes that had wanted to spill over as well.

End Flashback

She continued to walk and before she knew it she was on the floor, on her rear end after running into something or somebody. She looked up and she couldn't help when the tears filled her eyes. She didn't do well with confrontations with him; he had been her whole world for a long time and now, he's no longer apart of it.

"Lilly, let me help you up," Randy's voice echoed through her ears as she batted his hand away and pulled herself up.

"I do not need your help, Randy; I am capable of doing things by myself and I would appreciate if you would watch where you're going, please," Lilly stated as calmly as she could.

The confrontations they did have were nothing but her denying his friendship over and over. This usually led to an argument and he would stalk off in anger and she'd walk off, upset.

"It was two years ago, Lilly, can't we just forget about it and be friends again?" he pleaded, his blue eyes staring into hers.

"No, I do not want to be friends with you Randy. I never want to be friends with you again; I can't risk feeling like I did two years ago ever again, so please stay out of my way," Lilly snapped at him. "You have no part in my life any more."

"Fine, you want it that way Lilly, you got it that way. You want me to quit trying to get you to talk to me then so be it but remember this, I was there for before your new husband even knew you existed," he said, sneering at the mentioning of her husband before he walked away in a huff.

She couldn't help it as the tears began to spill down her face and she attempted to hide them from John but he was all ready at her side, offering her a comforting hug. She wish that Randy still didn't make her feel this way.


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