Disclaimer: I do not own Glee in any way.
A/N: Still after Sectionals, before the second half of Season 1.
Warning: This is a rather cracky tale...
He was hopping in the garden, looking for carrots.
Suddenly a pair of large hands took hold of him and lifted him up into the air.
"Hello, Kurt-bunny." It was Finn. He was smiling that sweet, beautiful smile that he always wore.
"Hello," Kurt-bunny said in his bunny voice.
"Will you be my bunny?" Finn asked, petting Kurt's ears.
"I'd like to," Kurt-bunny said quietly. "But I'm a gay bunny... Is that okay with you?"
"Hey," Finn shrugged and handed Kurt a baby carrot. "Nobunny's perfect."
Just then a Rachel-golden eagle flew by, and sank into a dive. Finn was oblivious to it, and held Kurt-bunny still.
Kurt-bunny struggled, but then Rachel-eagle was there, and she was going to eat him in one bite -
"Ahhhhhh!" Kurt shrieked, his eyes flying open.
Half the class jumped, and several people gasped.
"Oh my goodness!" Mrs. Lowell had dropped her chalk. "Kurt, are you all right?"
Kurt blinked and realized he had fallen asleep in history class.
"I, uh... got very excited about the lecture?" He tried.
Mrs. Lowell, her eyes and ears not being what they were forty years ago and therefore unable to see or hear Kurt's fib, beamed.
"That's lovely, dear. I'm so glad. Now in 1955..."
Kurt groaned and put his head down on the table, ignoring the giggles around him.
What a strange dream, Kurt thought.
Kurt couldn't look at Finn at practice after school. He kept on thinking of the giant Finn trying to feed him baby carrots.
The male soprano stopped in his tracks outside of the school.
"Hello, Finn," he sighed.
He looked at Finn, and was surprised at the look of loss on his face.
"I... You were ignoring me," Finn declared, his voice surprised.
"I..." Kurt trailed off.
"And I just really wanted to talk to you," Finn admitted.
Kurt's heart warmed and he felt his face flushing.
"I didn't mean to... I mean I like you- like talking to you," Kurt finished quickly.
Finn's anxiety faded away as he looked down at Kurt.
"Good," Finn spoke softly, and then his fingers were tracing down Kurt's cheek.
Kurt couldn't stop the sigh that escaped at the touch.
"Life has been crazy lately," Finn said lowly. "I've been confused.. for a while. But you've been here for me, Kurt - and I really appreciate that. Appreciate it more than you know."
He didn't stop gently caressing, and Kurt couldn't stop himself from leaning into the touch.
"Please, Kurt," Finn said, his voice breaking. "Tell me if I shouldn't - if I'm too late - I know I'm an idi -"
Kurt cut him off by pulling him in close and kissing him breathless.
When Finn had to breathe, he stumbled back as Kurt pushed him against the wall.
"Please tell me this isn't another crazy dream," Finn groaned.
"Believe me, you're not dreaming," Kurt announced, and as he kissed him again fiercely, he brought one hand around to pinch Finn's ass sharply.
Finn gasped into Kurt's mouth, and Kurt hummed in approval as he plastered their bodies together.
"Dream about this a lot?" Kurt asked victoriously, as Finn panted and clutched Kurt's shirt to remain on his feet.
Finn just nodded frantically.
"What else do you dream of doing with me?" Kurt asked before sucking on Finn's right earlobe.
"Everything," Finn moaned.
"Well..." Kurt purred as he sucked along Finn's neck, driving the taller boy crazy. "What was the thing you dreamed of most often?"
"You... eating carrots."
Kurt stopped and pulled away.
"What did you just say?" He asked, suspicious.
"You... taking control, like this..." Finn panted. He suddenly noted Kurt's confusion. "Kurt - you okay?"
"I think I'm hearing things," Kurt said, shaking his head. "Things related to my dreams - weird dreams, not sexy ones."
"Like about what?"
"I'm a bunny rabbit in my dream," Kurt blurted out.
Finn's eyes widened.
"That is so weird."
"I know," Kurt flushed.
"No, I mean... I have dreams about being a guinea pig. And Rachel is this tabby cat, and she keeps chasing me with these claws, and trying to eat me..."
"Rachel's a scary eagle in my dream," Kurt said, shocked at the similarities.
"Damn," Finn said, still leaning against the wall. "So, um... maybe we've eaten too many of Puck's cookies."
Kurt grinned at the insinuation.
"I'm glad we can agree that Rachel is scary."
"Yeah," Kurt mused momentarily. "Now forget about her."
As Finn was taken in a kiss that sent shivers all the way to his toes, he forgot all about Rachel. All he knew was Kurt, hot, wet, consuming his every sense.
And Kurt forgot all about bunnies... Until later that night, when he slipped out of Finn's warm, sleeping embrace and made his way through the Hudson home into the kitchen.
Kurt was seated on the counter, munching on a large carrot, when Mrs. Hudson came home from her late shift.
"Hello..." Carole Hudson said, staring at the shirtless young man in her kitchen chewing on a large orange vegetable. "Who are you?"
"Uh," Kurt said, his mind totally blanking as he tried to come up with an answer, the carrot half-way to his mouth.
"I'm Finn's bunny."