Title: Incompetence

Couple(s): Very subtle Ushio x Mikage.

Rating: T

Warnings: Some sexism, coarse language, and mild sexual references.

Notes: I wanted to write another Mikage piece. Enjoy.

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."

--Charlotte Whitton

"Whoa, Kaede, who do you suppose that beauty is over there?" one male security officer asked, whistling.

The woman in question stood far across the room, having an intimate discussion with the long-time officer and their superior, Tetsu Ushio. Her hair was a deep shade of blue, short and messy, but she was attractive nonetheless; her legs were long and slender and, much to the officers' dismay, covered by a modest skirt. But most importantly, she had a fairly healthy chest, which could probably be peeked at if the opportunity presented itself to the chatting officers.

"No idea Jiro, but she's got a great ass," purred Kaede, who was standing next to him.

"You're looking at her ass? Check out that rack!" exclaimed Jiro, turning and grinning at his companion.

She suddenly laughed and Ushio's cheeks tinted red. Jiro nudged Kaede in the side, asking, "Hey, do you suppose that she's Ushio-san's girlfriend?"

"Dunno," Kaede replied, crossing his arms, "but she's way out of his league. He must be like 15 years older than her, at least." Jiro seemed to ignore him, however, watching the distant pair finish their conversation. The young woman picked a small stack of papers and said goodbye to him with a smile before leaving him behind.

"Hey, she's coming over here!" said Jiro suddenly in a more hushed voice, "Think I've got a shot?"

"No way, dude," replied Kaede, shaking his head. "You're still a virgin." Jiro became defensive, and opened his mouth to make a come-back, but as he did, the woman walked by, engrossed in looking through her files.

"Hey there," said Kaede coolly, his voice suddenly dropping an octave deep. The blunette's head snapped up and she turned around to face the two officers.

"Oh hello," she said, smiling. Both officers felt their hearts gush; sure, she was attractive from afar, but up-close she was downright sexy. "I'm sorry, could I get your names? I'm afraid I'm a bit new here." Kaede grinned with as much charm as he could possibly project.

"I'm Kaede," he said, offering out his hand, "and this nitwit here is Jiro." Jiro's expression soured, crossing his arms and looking overall displeased with his introduction.

"Mikage," she replied, shaking his hand. Kaede immediately noticed her firm handshake, which was a sure sign of confidence and self-esteem. He frowned inwardly, realizing that perhaps she wasn't the 'easy' ditz that he had hoped she would be. Kaede glanced down at her hands, carrying the weight of a mess of papers and folders.

"So, I guess you're the new copy girl... ?" he asked, cocking his brow. She suddenly let out a laugh.

"Oh no, I'm an officer too," Mikage replied, reaching into the pocket of her gray jacket to unveil her badge. "I recently finished my training, and now I'm authorized to become a full-fledged Security officer." Kaede and Jiro exchanged glances, stunned; never had the bureau hired a woman officer. Sure, there were cute secretaries and copy girls, maybe a few data specialists and researchers; but it was always sort of a given that all positions out on the field was a man's job.

"They actually let a woman on to the force? Huh, I guess it's getting harder to find new recruits... " said Jiro aloud, and immediately, Kaede elbowed him in sharply in the ribs.

"Shut-up you moron," he hissed through clenched teeth, "... But, in all seriousness, Mikage-san, I don't know if you realized or not, but it's, uh... uncommon to see a woman as an officer. It's just not logical, you know? With men being physically superior and all..."

Mikage, to say in the least, looked disenchanted. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, it's not meant to be an insult," said Jiro, piping up. "I mean, Kaede and I know you can't be completely incompetent; they wouldn't have let you on the force if you were! We're just warning you as your superior officers."

Her eyes narrowed, looking disgusted. "Well, I'll have you know--"

"--Attention officers!" boomed the loud voice a large, balding man as he entered the room, cutting off Mikage. "I have an announcement to make." Conversation in the room came to a standstill, and everyone rose out of their seats; although this man, Director Daly, was not the head of the Special Investigations division, he was still a highly respected leader.

"As you all know, just a few weeks ago, Chief Michi Omasu retired from the agency," he began, his voice slightly muffled by his mustache. "And although he will be greatly missed as a friend and a leader, I am proud to announce that we have hired his replacement." His old, gray eyes skirted over to Mikage, who smiled knowingly in response.

"Would Miss Mikage Sagiri please join me at the front?" A loud applause broke out, especially from where Ushio was standing as the young woman strode up to meet the director, shaking his hand. Kaede and Jiro's jaw dropped; she was the new Chief of Special Investigations? Mikage turned and faced the crowd with a confident smile.

"Sagiri-san is someone of great intelligence and cunning," began Daly, resting his hand strongly on her shoulder. "But it is not her great competence that makes her stand above the rest: she is a woman of virtue, with a love for justice and..." As the old man babbled on about how wonderful Mikage was and how blessed they were to have her join the team, Kaede and Jiro kept exchanging "oh shit" and " we are so dead" glances; not only had they made some, well, sexist remarks to her, they had belittled her position in the bureau, which was a sure-in to get them fired.

"... Please make an effort to make her feel welcome as your new superior, and make sure to always respect her for her authority," finished Daly, as if he had known that some idiot(s) would treat her differently because of her sex. Kaede grimaced while Jiro cringed; hearing this felt like their coffin was already nailed shut in their unfortunate situation. After another round of applause, everyone settled down and returned to work. Mikage reorganized her stack and approached the two officers again, watching the color drain from their faces.

"Just so you know," she said with a nonchalant demeanor, a sly smirk curling on her lips. "A woman is just as good as a man is, if not better." With a charming bow and a stifled laugh, she left the two men speechless, not to mention, nervous as hell. After a moment, Kaeder swallowed and with a weak smile, turned toward the direction she had walked.

"Damn, she is hot."


Comments: Bwahaha, this one was too fun. Not my best work, but hey, I did for some enjoyment.