A/N: If the Burktina wedding happened. If Alex had reached the hospital to find Ava gone and not even flinched. If he had the guts to stand up and be a man.
Addison loved weddings. As in past tense. She loved weddings 5+ years ago when she always had a man at her side, her very own husband but that, like most things in her life, crashed and burned. So now, she hated weddings. Weddings were spent watching couples being couple-y, singles getting drunk and coming onto each other, bad dancing and long boring speeches.
She watched as Burke spun a reluctant (yet happy) Cristina Yang, or Cristina Burke, she wasn't sure which, around the dance floor. Her finger circled the rim of her wine glass. She watched as Derek (who never danced in public) took Meredith's hand and led her to an empty spot, she looked as reluctant (yet happy) as Cristina. She watched as an obviously inebriated Izzie Stevens shot venomous looks at Callie which were soon interrupted by Mark offering his hand, which surprisingly she took, she must have been really drunk. She watched as Alex Karev (ugh) entered the ballroom, his shirt untucked and tieless. She watched as his eyes searched the room. She watched as his eyes landed on her (oh crap). She watched as he walked towards her (double crap). She didn't watch as he pulled up a chair next to hers. She watched as her finger continued to circle the rim of her wine glass.
"What? You ignoring me now?" he drawled out.
"Trying to" she grimaced.
"We could still ditch and go and grab that drink"
"I think you'll find we've already had this conversation Karev"
"Maybe I didn't like the answer" he whispered into her ear, she shifted uncomfortably as his breath tickled her skin.
"It's the only one you're getting" she hissed back.
"Come on, one drink, what harm could it do?"
"A lot" she muttered "Just stop it Alex"
Alex leaned back in his chair and exhaled loudly, Addison lifted her glass and downed the rest of the slightly-warmer-than-it-should-be red wine placing the glass firmly back on the table.
"You went to LA" he stated out of nowhere.
"Was it, nice?"
"Do you really want to know?" she said turning to face him, he nodded for her to continue "I went to LA to see my best friend Naomi, a fertility specialist, I figured since no man wants to love me maybe a child of my own would but no, it turns out that can't happen, it turns out I have 'no fertility potential', high FSH levels and an antral-follicle count of 2. Then I had to operate on a woman who had 3 potential fathers for her baby and all they cared about was the paternity, not the fact that she almost died so then I did some yelling. Then I hid myself away in a stairwell to cry over my poor pathetic life. And then an incredibly hot alternative medicine guy called Pete kissed me, which was nice, it was nice to be wanted for a little while and it was a good kiss, it was a great kiss actually and then I drove back here to the land of rain and disappointment to attend this, thing with a bunch of people who don't like me, only to have you, you who made me feel like nothing more than a sex object, come on to me, twice, and don't tell me that's not what you're doing because you are, so please, stop it"
With that Addison stood grabbing her clutch, she quickly headed for the door but was stopped when she felt a hand grab her wrist.
"What?!" she snapped in a whisper turning around to see a sorrowful Alex "What could you possibly say to make this any better?!"
"I know a man who wants to love you, who does love you"
"Really? Where? Because I would just love to meet him" she mocked.
"He's standing right in front of you"
Addison pulled her arm forcefully out of his grip and slapped him hard on the cheek, a resounding gasp filled the room, the band even stopped playing, Addison's breathing was heavy, in, out, in, out, in "How. Dare. You." she whispered hoarsely.
"How dare you?!" she exclaimed "Stay the hell away from me" she turned on her heel and quickly stormed out of the room, leaving Alex fixed to the spot staring at the door.
"Karev you better get your ass out there after her" Callie said loudly from the other side of the room.
"But she just said…." he started.
"Now you moron!" she exclaimed, he grumbled under his breath as he walked out of the room, he stepped out into the cool night air, he looked out into the dimly lit space not knowing whether to jump in his car or to run for his life and then he heard it, a soft sob, he turned his head and saw nothing, he heard another sob, he followed it, another sob, another step, as he turned the corner he saw her standing there, back against the brick wall, her head hung low, her hands furiously wiping tears from her cheeks, he took tentative steps towards her, she didn't seem to notice his presence, if she did she was choosing to ignore it, as he reached her he let out a small cough, she took in a sharp intake of breath, her head snapping towards him.
"I thought, I, told, you, to stay, away" she choked out.
"Since when do I ever do what you tell me too" he smirked slightly, she scoffed and turned her head away from him.
"I meant what I said" he said quietly.
"No. You didn't." she said firmly "It's, transference or whatever, you left the church Alex, I told you that you didn't want me, that you wanted Ava and you left and I'm assuming you got there and she was already gone because I know for a fact that she was being discharged and now because you can't have her you think you can come here and spout all this crap about loving me when you don't love me, you love Ava, you want Ava because if you wanted me, if you wanted me you wouldn't have done what you did, I didn't ask to be your girlfriend Alex, I'm Addison Forbes Montgomery, I don't ask to be someone's girlfriend and frankly at my age it would be a little pathetic, my point is I didn't at any point say the word girlfriend to you and yet, when you said those four little words it felt like you had reached into my chest, pulled out my heart, threw it onto the floor and stamped on it, so no, you don't love me, you don't want me, you just need someone to take the pain away and what about me Alex?! What about me?! Who's going to take my pain away?!"
"ME!" he shouted "I'm going to take your pain away, I can't stand to watch you in pain, turning you down killed me, I didn't do it because I didn't want you, or because I wanted Ava I did it because I did want you, I do want you! I did it because I'm scared, I'm scared because I don't do real, real scares the crap out of me and you were standing there in front of me and all I could see was real and I didn't want you to have real again for me to freak out and leave you so I let you go before we let it get to that point"
"Did you ever think that maybe I didn't want real with you? That I just wanted a bit of fun?"
"No, because I know that's not true, you don't want fun Addison, you want love, you want a lifetime and I'm standing here and I'm telling you I love you, I'm telling you that I freaked out, I'm telling you that the freak out is over, that I want everything that you want, I want to make you happy, so now all I need to know is, do you want me back?"
"Of course I want you you idiot!" she yelled throwing her clutch at him.
"Seriously Addison, what's with the violence today?" he smirked.
"Shut up" she pouted, he smiled softly and took the final steps between them, he reached up and cupped her cheek in his hand.
"I love you Addison"
"Yeah, well maybe I love you too"
And for the first time it was Alex who initiated the kissing, as soon as his lips touched hers they heard the sounds of wolf-whistling and clapping, they snapped their heads to see Callie, Meredith and Izzie (who was being held up by Meredith) all staring at them with wide grins.
"How much of that did you hear?" Alex smirked.
"We sort of snuck out right after you left" Callie muttered.
"The whole thing then" said Addison.
"The whole thing" Meredith laughed.
"Alex is in love" Izzie giggled "Alex and Addison sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N---" Meredith clamped her hand over Izzie's mouth.
"Drunk?" Alex smirked.
"She danced with Mark Sloan, does that answer your question?" Meredith smirked.
"Yeah" Alex laughed.
"Are Burke and Cristina mad? I kind of hijacked the wedding didn't I" Addison frowned.
"Burke was more shocked than anything" said Callie "Cristina loved it"
"I got hit in the face and then you yelled at me, of course she love it" said Alex.
"You yelled at him?" Addison smirked.
"He was just standing there like an idiot, of course I yelled at him"
"It's my job to yell at him now" Addison said kissing him softly.
"You yell at me all the time anyway" he chuckled.
"True" she nodded, she grinned widely before kissing him with a little more passion.
"I love you" she whispered.
"I love you too"
"Oh you have got to be kidding me" Cristina groaned "You go and give me the best wedding present ever and you screw it up by being gushy!"
"Whats your poison?" asked Addison.
"As in alcohol, whats your poison?"
"Um, tequila" Cristina stuttered.
"When you get back from your honeymoon I'll have a bottle of tequila waiting for you, a big one, does that make this at all better for you"
"Y'know, I always liked you" Cristina smirked.
"Alright, enough of the small talk" said Alex, he grabbed Addison's clutch from where it had hit the floor and handed it to her, he crouched down a little and hooked his arms underneath her legs lifting her up, she let out a loud squeal "We are going back to your hotel room" he grinned.
"Are we now?" she smirked.
Alex didn't say anything, he merely started to walk towards his car flashing everyone a grin on his way past.
"Ok" Addison gasped rolling onto her back "We're doing that again"
"Definitely" Alex grinned kissing her neck softly "Am I taking your pain away?"
"Hmmm" she hummed as he sucked against her skin.
"Ads, I love you" he said looking up at her, she looked down and met his eyes "I love you too" she smiled softly.
"I've been offered a job in LA" she said breaking the comfortable silence they had fallen into, his arm around her shoulders, her head nuzzling into his side.
"Oh" he said simply.
"Alex, I love you, I do, I love you, its just, I'm scared, I'm scared that we'll mess this up and, I can't do that again and, and now there's this job, an escape and, I don't want to take it, not now, not now I've got you but you freaked out before and I don't want to stay here and have you freak out on me again because I love you so I need you to tell me that this is it for you, I know commitment scares you Alex but I need you to say it because I do, I do, I need you to say it"
Alex sat up abruptly leaning his back against the headboard, he crossed his legs, he patted them gesturing for her to sit on them, she raised an eyebrow at him but did just that, he grabbed onto her chin and pulled her face so she looked directly at him, he held one of her hands in his.
"Addison, I love you, I am in love with you, I'm not saying I'm going to be perfect at this relationship thing, at first you'll probably have to help me a little but you're a great teacher so I'm sure it won't take long" he grinned "Your scared, I'm scared, we can be scared together. I have 2 weeks of absolute freedom and all I want to do is be with you. Addison, we do not get unlimited chances to have the things we want, and this I know, nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could've changed your life"
Addison let out a small laugh "You were listening"
"I always listen to you" he smiled "I do!" he laughed when she raised an eyebrow "So, Addie, what do you say, you in this thing?"
"I'm" kiss "In" kiss "This" kiss "Thing" kiss.
"We're in this thing" he said sincerely.
That evening Alex took Addison back to the house of Grey, surprisingly the place was empty.
"Whats the betting that Izzie's with Mark right now?" Addison smirked.
"If he hurts her I'll kill him" Alex grumbled.
"Will you now" she laughed "Well, I guess I'll have to help you bury the body because I don't know how I'd live if you went to jail"
"I'll never leave you" he smiled softly "Ever"
"Morning" Addison yawned walking into the kitchen, not even taking in who exactly was sitting at the table, her eyes still coming out of the morning fog.
"What the…." Derek stuttered.
Addison laughed into the refrigerator, she pulled out the carton of orange juice and grabbed a glass from the draining board.
"Addison what are you doing here?" Derek asked.
"Did Meredith not tell you?" she asked him.
"Tell me what?"
"Add-is-on" Alex whined.
"A-le-x" she mimicked.
"Why did you get up?" he said walking over and nuzzling her neck.
"I was thirsty" she shrugged "Stop whining"
"I'm not whining!" he pouted, she laughed and kissed his lips softly.
"I love you Alex Karev"
"I love you too Addison Montgomery" he grinned.
"Addison, hey" Meredith smiled walking into the kitchen.
"Meredith" she smiled back.
"You stay at the trailer last night?" asked Alex.
"Yeah, felt like a change" Meredith shrugged "Have you seen Izzie?"
"Wasn't here when we got here last night, she not in her room?"
"No" Meredith sighed "Oh she is so with Mark right now isn't she" she chuckled.
"That's what I said" Addison laughed.
"Ok, what the hell is going on?!" Derek exclaimed "You hated him at the wedding, you slapped him, you don't hit people, apart from the time you threw your hair dryer at me in med school"
"You were with him for over a decade and you only hit him once, I get hit twice in one night, what the hell is that about?!" asked Alex.
"You were being particularly infuriating" she grinned "I promise to never hit you again, if you're nice to me"
"I'm always nice to you" he smiled, she raised an eyebrow "Ok so I haven't always been nice to you, I've been a jerk but I promise you from now on I will always be nice to you"
"Good" she said kissing him softly "And yeah, I hated him at the wedding but it was more of a 'I hate that I love you' kind of hate"
"Riiightt" Derek nodded "So you and and him are like, a couple now, who love each other?"
"We are" Addison smiled "We really are"
Alex wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead softly.
"We're in this aren't we babe?" he grinned.
"We're in this" she nodded "But don't call me babe"
"Make me….babe" he laughed.
She smirked at him at slapped him on the arm.
"What did we say about hitting?" he smirked.
"Shut up" she groaned.
"I love you" he grinned.
"Yeah, yeah" she said walking away from him, he grabbed he from behind and wrapped his arms tight around her waist "Addison, I love you" he said seriously.
"I love you too" she said softly.
Addison loved weddings. As in present tense. As in she loved putting on a dress. As in she loved walking down the aisle. As in she loved making vows. As in she loved listening to his. As in she loved saying 'I do'. As in she loved him slipping a ring on her finger. As in she love putting one on his. As in she loved walked back down the aisle hand in hand with her husband. As in she loved dancing her first dance as Mrs Addison Karev.
Their wedding was spent watching couples being couple-y, singles getting drunk and coming onto each other, bad dancing and beautiful speeches.
Their honeymoon was spent rarely leaving their hotel room. Making love until the early hours of the morning. Sitting on their balcony wrapped in a blanket watching the sun rise over the ocean.
In each year of their marriage there were screaming matches. Alex had lost count of the amount of times she had launched something at him, whatever she had in her hands at the time whether it be a mug, a shoe, anything. But they never walked out. That was their rule. Never go to bed on an argument, always stay up and argue. Plus the make-up sex was mind blowing.
For their second anniversary Alex got Addison an eternity ring, that wasn't the plan but he saw it in a shop window and couldn't stop himself. For their second anniversary Addison handed Alex a positive pregnancy test. That definiteley wasn't the plan.
A little over 7 months later and Addison was screaming obscenities at Alex as she pushed their daughter into the world. They both cried happy tears as the doctor placed the newborn on Addison's chest. They named her Millie Eve Karev and she was their world.
For their fifth anniversary Alex got Addison a bunch of daisies (her favourite) and made her a CD of all the songs that reminded him of her. He didn't care that it was corny. For their fifth anniversary Addison handed Alex a positive pregnancy test. He fainted.
A little over 7 months later and Addison was screaming obscenities at Alex as she pushed their son into the world. They both cried happy tears as the doctor placed the newborn on Addison's chest. They named him Jacob Daniel Karev and he was the last piece to their puzzle.
Or so they thought.
Because as Millie turned 6 and Jacob turned 3, Addison took a pregnancy test. She had all the symptoms. She knew all the signs. But she knew it wasn't possible 'antral-follicle count of 2'. She'd used up both chances. And as the word positive glared up at her she gasped audibly. So she took another, and another, and another. Each time the word positive glared up at her. Alex wrapped his knuckles on the bathroom door. She opened it with a pale face. He asked her what was wrong. She pointed towards the sink. 4 discarded pregnancy tests rested on the ledge. He turned to face her. His face as pale as hers. No words were spoken. Until tears fell onto her cheeks. He pulled her close to him and held her tightly. And then they started laughing. That was absolutely, undeniably not part of the plan.
So again, a little over 7 months later Addison was screaming obscenities at Alex as she pushed their daughter into the world. They both cried happy tears as the doctor placed the newborn on Addison's chest. They named her Emily Grace Karev and she really was the last piece to their puzzle.
And as cliched and corny as it may sound, they lived, Happily. Ever. After.
~x~ ~x~ ~x~