Thanks to Denn and Kelma for being my extra sets of eyes.
To Lisa… I'm sorry I didn't send you this sooner, but thank you for your advice when I told you about it and for all the words we shared. You will be missed!
Warning: The song "Jueves" by the band "La Oreja de Van Gogh" inspired this. That song is dedicated to the victims of the terrorist attacks that occurred in Spain on March 11, 2004.
Disclaimer: All things related to Twilight are not mine, obviously, and I stole one quote from the movie The Wedding Date…
Every day is the same thing… day after day, after day. He is in the same station, at the same hour. He waits until the doors of the wagon are fully and completely open; then, he enters and patiently waits to reach his destination. Could it be a coincidence? Destiny perhaps? I haven't figured it out yet.
Trust me… he isn't hard to miss out. No one could miss that reddish messy hair, the perfect crooked smile on his perfectly mouth and the most expressive and beautiful green eyes I have ever seen in my entire life. It's almost impossible to keep my eyes away from him, almost. I'm not lying when I say that he looks like a male model taken out of the Armani winter catalog or from the cover of one of those Harlequin books.
Me? Umm, what can I say about me? Well, first I don't look like a magazine model, I'm way to far from that point but I know that I'm not ugly either. But I have to remain realistic to admit to myself that I am obviously out of his league. I have long brown and wavy hair, chocolate brown eyes, part albino -thanks to my mother- and a medium height frame. I'm not fat but neither I'm skinny or have a firm toned body. Let's just say that I am average, just an average, simple and ordinary girl.
Every day. I just want to find the courage inside of me to get near him and at least say hello. To ask him, what is your name? I die to ask him about his favorite things. What does he do for a living? Where is he going every day? I'll probably look just like a little dumb girl, but I really want to know him...
I talked a few times about him over the phone with my best friend Rosalie and told her all the things I imagined about him. About how much I want to meet him and get to know him better. I want to know what's under that beautiful face and to know his dearest dreams. My sixth sense tells me that he is even more beautiful inside as he looks on the outside. Rosalie told me that I needed to put my best poker face and just be brave, so I can take the first step the next time I see him on the train. She said that I needed to stop thinking about rejection or impossibilities; that I need to make the first move if I was interested in him. I know that if she lived closer to me, my story could be completely different by now. Knowing her as the palm of my hand, I could tell that at this time, I probably have gotten his phone number and address, but I'm not like her. I'm too shy, insecure and so naive for a lot of reasons; having love and relationships in that long list.
More weeks pass in front of my face and still nothing.
Every day, from Monday to Friday is the same thing. He enters the wagon, takes a seat in front of me, or sometimes when the subway is full, he stands next to me. I always carry a book to read because my apartment is near to the first subway station stop and the university is almost at the last stop of the train. I try to hide myself from his sight using my book as a cover, because what I am really doing is watching him. Sometimes he comes carrying a guitar and I wonder how many lovely tunes he can play to me with it. Other days, I look closely at him when he moves his fingers like he is playing an imaginary grand piano. I have to confess that those are my favorite days, because he just closes his eyes and looks in deep concentration. He moves his long fingers with a master precision and after a few minutes he finally opens those stunning emerald eyes and smiles. And the stupid childish reaction from me: he smiles and I smile too. This is getting pathetic, I know. I know.
I still remember the first time that he accidentally touched my arm. The train was packed, made a sudden stop, it caught him off guard and then it happened; I felt his silky hand on my arm. I don't know if he felt the same way I did, but I felt some kind of weird electricity running through all my body, from head to toes. It was strange, but it just felt perfect. He said "sorry" and I couldn't managed to say something back because I was mesmerized, completely dazzled by his voice and his smile. Also I have to confess, even his smell made my knees weak. Come on Bella, how old are you? Twelve years old? Gosh!
Another day I thought that I finally found the strength I was looking for inside of me. I was determined to talk to him. The next day as he always did, he entered the train but this time and for the first time in such a long time… he arrived with a girl holding his arm. She was pretty short, skinny frame, with black spiky hair. My heart was shattered into million pieces as soon as I saw her with him. Feelings of jealousy and envy filled my heart. He looked very happy and relaxed around her. They looked so nicely together. She called him Edward. I finally knew his name!
At that moment I didn't know if I was staring at him or if I wasn't being discreet but after a few minutes, I noticed that both of them were looking fixedly at me. Ohhh great, just great Bella! Now he thinks that you are an insane stalker. The little pixie -yeah she looked like a pixie fairy- looked at him and returned her gaze to me. That was when he smiled at me. The train made the usual stop. I wasn't paying attention to the name of the station we were stopped at, when the girl smiled at me once again. She stood up, kissed his cheek and told him "See you later, big brother", and then she winked at me. I felt the burn rising on my cheeks. Perfect, probably I may have fifty shades of red plastered on my face. But I was making the happy dance inside of me too. She was his sister. His sister! I couldn't be happier in that moment; well actually I would have been happier if I just had the guts to come near him, to finally talk to him.
The next day, as every common day he came alone, and I still didn't had the courage to approach him again.
Now, a few days later, I am determined once again. I need to talk to him... Again! I almost take out my entire closet, looking for that perfect outfit for the special occasion. I keep looking until I finally find my favorite blue skirt, with an ivory silk blouse that matched perfectly with my sandals. I am so accident-prone, that heels aren't my best friends and today wasn't the time to take any risks. I fix my hair and I even put some makeup on my face. If Rosalie could see me now, she can probably die, but I know that she would be proud of me, she is my mentor! This is my time to be brave, to take chances, to be finally a fearless woman. It is time to –at least-say hi and good morning to him.
As every day he enters the wagon. I notice that he has a red rose in one hand and his guitar is on the other. My heart skips some beats and he smiles at me. Thank God that I am seated, because I swear that I can faint at any second. He takes the seat by my side. Oh God! That heavenly scent of him again! My plan is going to fail after this. I can't even remember my own name.
The train gets to the second stop and nothing happens. Two more stops and still nothing. I am almost trembling; we are getting close to his usual stop. It is now or never Bella! It is time to stick to the original plan and I pray that everything turns out –hopefully- the way I have planned it.
"Umm... Hi, Edward right?" I timidly ask him.
He looks at me expressionless; his face worth millions. I can't decipher his state of feelings at this moment; and to be honest that scares me a lot. All my insecurities reappear instantly. Great Bella, you scared him… Way to go!
"Sorry about that." I say to him looking out of the window. Tears are forming without permission in my eyes and obviously that isn't something I want him to see.
Minutes feel like hours, centuries, ages… and then he finally talks to me.
"Don't worry Bella; you just took me by surprise."
Ok, wait, what is happening here? How did he call me? Breathe Bella, remember to breathe. And keep doing it!
"How... you... how do you know my nickname?"
"Let's just say that I have my ways…" he is smiling and then added,
"But if I answer, then you will have to tell me how you know my name."
My face is deep red. I am one hundred percent sure about that fact.
"I guess we are even then."
"Ohh, don't worry, I know that we will have an eternity to share that secret."
An eternity? Ohh please, yes! Ok, Bella calm down, you have to actually get to know the guy first. Then you have to think about eternity.
"You know that you screwed my plans, right?"
"Ummm, your plans?" Wait a minute... What is he talking about?
"Actually, this is for you." he says and gives me the rose that he has been carrying in his hand all this time.
I gasp at this sudden turn of events...
"I… it's… thanks!"
"We are reaching my stop. I want to show you something; would you please come with me? I promise I don't bite, well not yet, and you can trust me." Then he winks at me.
What I do? What I do? I swear that I can hear Rosalie saying "Bella don't be so stupid and go with him". I actually don't know him and he wanted to show me something. What if this was just a trick and he is like an incubus, a serial killer or something even worse than that. Bella you need to stop reading those fiction novels!
We reach the stop and surprisingly Edward takes my hand in his. I'm feeling the electricity again! My body feels like a live wire and I am sure that he feels it too because he is looking at me smiling.
"So, where are we going?"
"We are going to my college. I'm studying music actually. And I play piano, guitar and a few other instruments. After my classes, I have to go to a nearby school a few blocks from here to teach a bunch of kids to play the guitar. By the way, where are my manners? My name is Edward Cullen."
I want to laugh about this whole situation. This is so messed up, but the strange thing is that it feels right. As if destiny is on our side right now.
"Well… I'm Isabella Swan but please call me Bella. Oh! I forgot that apparently you already know that."
"You are right. I know it. But I can promise you that I don't have stalker tendencies."
"Are you going to tell me how did you know my name?"
"One of these days... Bella, one of these days..."
We walk silently a few more minutes. I am beyond nervous and extremely excited at the same time.
"You didn't have plans, right? My God! I didn't ask if you had something important to do, I am so sorry Bella."
"No Edward, don't worry. Well actually I was going to the university but no worries I know that I won't miss something important today. Plus, someone told me that it's always healthy to ditch school from time to time."
"What are you studying?"
"English Literature and Writing. I want to be a teacher."
"Ohh that's nice."
"Ujum..." Yes, pardon my lack of words.
We talk a bit about our courses. And we arrive to his college building. It is a small one. Edward takes me to one small room with a grand piano on the left side. Piano... Fingers… Edward… Bella you need to stop that! I seat next to him on the bench that is in front of the piano.
"Bella… this is part of my plan, but in the original one I was going to be the one that made the first move and talk to you. But you changed that today and I am glad you did… Anyway, you are here with me now and that's the most important thing from now on."
Well he looks like the model from the cover of a Harlequin book and talks like the characters of a Jane Austen novel. Oh my God!
He starts to play a song on the piano. I don't recognize it. I'm sure that it was probably a composition of his and probably the tune he always practices in the train and that thought makes me smile. Apparently, he knows what I am thinking and then he whispers in my ear, "You inspired this one," and I almost faint. The universe is conspiring in my favor today and I'm more than grateful.
I think that I just won the lottery! Someone please pinch me! I hope this isn't a dream.
The song is beautiful and when Edward stops playing, he looks at me and I haven't notice that I am crying until Edward cleans the tears on my cheeks away with his graceful fingers.
"Thank you. That was the most beautiful thing that someone has ever made for me." I say to him, emptying the contents of my heart.
"You know Bella? I composed that song thinking of you. I think that I would miss you, even if I'd never met you."
"Edward, Oh my God..."
"I was planning to do this for a while and I didn't have the courage to ask you to come with me."
"I think that I know that feeling too. I'm glad that I did it. I must say that I guess that today… was our day."
We have been together for almost six months, six of the most precious months in my entire existence. I have plans for today. I wanted to tell him sooner but first I wanted to get to know him better.
I have a feeling that today is the perfect day to say those words to him in our train, the first witness of our love. It is a beautiful day of March and the beginning of the spring is close.
I reach Edward's stop and I see him standing in front of the glass door… just like every day. Edward quickly jumps to the wagon and kisses me. He is finally by my side again. Instantly Edward puts his forehead against mine and we are looking directly to our eyes. In moments like this, I feel like I'm seeing through his soul and he is doing the same with me.
"I love you," we say at unison. We start to laugh at our connection and we kiss again and again.
Suddenly, something strange happens. The lights of the train turn off and I can't see anything but Edward's face profile. We both know that a thing like this happens sometimes… but then we hear the deafening sound of an explosion. Edward takes my hand and crashes his body against mine…
I know that minutes are passing and I can hear his voice calling me on the distance. I want to answer but I just can't open my mouth. I want to move but my legs are not responding. I try to find his arms… but I can't find them.
"Edward... I can't..." I try to tell him that I can't move. Then I finally feel his trembling hands on mine, then his beautiful hands touch my face… and I can feel the heaven.
I still don't understand what is happening; I can only hear people screaming around me. Then I feel Edward's body closer to mine. I can hear him crying and whispering my name again and again. And I finally hear when he says to me "Bella, my Bella, I love you. I will always love you!"
Then I feel Edward's lips on mine and I kiss him back, giving him with that kiss my last heartbeat.
End Notes: Hope you liked it. I wrote this a few months ago and I finally decided to upload it. Sorry if you find mistakes, English is not my first language... Fan fics are to enjoy the moment or at least I see them that way... BTW the song "Jueves" is on my LiveJournal, the link is in my profile.