Hey everyone! So, first of all i would like to I wil not be continuing Bittersweet, i think it has enough resolve. Academie and Cramoisi will be posted this week, i'm still playing with a few words and not exactly happy about it... Till then here is a new one! It will have a lot of angst and humor at the same time, not for the weak hearted though... hope you like it! Please do review. I'm sorry if there any any mistakes but I'm having beta problems.


''Hi, I'm trying to get hold of Natsuki Kuga; she used to be a friend of mine.''

The voice was dipped in sarcasm and it belong to none other than my dear friend Mai Tokiha.

''Yeah, good morning.'' I replied back , giving extra effort to hold my cell phone in balance between my shoulder and neck. May hands were busy pouring my cup of coffee. I'm a multi tasker.

''Wait, I think I recognize that voice.''

Oh so you want to keep this game M?

''I've been meaning to call you Mai, really. I've just been...'' Sometimes trying to find the right word is impossible, and that is exactly why one has best friends.

''fucking your brains out?''

Oh yes, did I tell you Mai Tokiha is my best friend? She knows everything about me, there is abso-fucking-lutely no escape.

''Well, yeah, that's the least of it.'' I give out a sigh, I want to drink my coffee, not have a chat with my conscience.

''Okay, okay. Just tell me if it is true you'll be coming over to Tokyo?''

She has hope in her voice. I smile. But it is not one of those smiles where you reflect the excitement of uniting with your friends after 8 years. No. It's a sad smile where you finally understand running will not get you anywhere and it fucking dawns on you at 5 am that you would better spend your days with people who cherish you the most. It is going to be a hard task. But I live for shit that makes me on the edge.

''Yes Mai. I'll be there next week. It's been long and I can't wait to see how my quartet survived without me.''

''Yes!! I can't believe it! I mean when Shiz told me you were thinking of coming over I.. I just couldn't believe it! Yes! Just mail me you flight ne?''

''Hai hai.. I gotta go M. I'll see you soon?''

''Hell yes! Bye sexy!''

My name is Natsuki Kuga. Now, where is my cigarettes.

I love Zino Davidoff, I love the fact that he is openly trying to kill me and I dutifully submit my self to his neat little soldiers. I carefully select the white soldier, playing it over in my hand. I bring it over to my mouth. It is an intimate course of death don't you think so? I light it , and inhale the sweet aroma of nicotine.

I am not a lighter gal. I like matches. I find them more personal, more made for me. You see I think lighters are whores, so easily shared, and you don't really feel a loss when you forget it at some random café. But matches are a different story. That tiny box holds a limited quantity which automatically makes it special. You can't just share it around, you have to know your count. And the simple ritual of taking out one and hitting it hard on the surface of the box always made me tingle inside.

Let alone the smell of after burnt matches. I'm addicted to stupid stuff like that.

While I was giving you this unnecessary knowledge I finished my coffee.

Coffee. Now there is a subject I can talk for hours. Being me, the one and only original Natsuki Kuga who has to do everything oddly, my coffee choice is rather not normal as well. I do not like the taste of hot or warm coffee. I like it when it is bitter cold and stale. The secret coffee recipe of N. Kuga is to pour 20% hot water and 80% cold water to your coffee. Take a few sips while it is partially warm and then wait 15 minutes to taste the bitter cold aroma.

Ah, the bitter sweet little things that make up my life. From these two example informations you should partially get the idea of what kind of a woman I am. I try and fill my life with special details and search for them in every aspect. I like things that are single-served, that are bitter in taste and don't hold hope in them.

Nietchze once said hope is the root of all evil. And he is right. There is no point for someone like me to hold hope. They say I should, but they only say it because it's their job. Maybe I should change my job and make money by saying the harsh truth to people's face. I would definitely hire someone like that. No matter the price.

And soon I'll be in Tokyo. I look around my boxes, all neatly organized, all held parts of pessimistic present me in them. I should not ship them back to Tokyo. Perhaps I could make a bonfire tonight. Ah... I'm flying soon. Back to old memories, the old Natsuki which had the joy of life squirming from her every pore. I hope my friends did not change. I want a slice of old back.


Welcome to Tokyo. Welcome to the age of ''uninnocence''. The Tokyo dream is different than the American dream I've been living for the past 8 years. Here no one has 'breakfast at tiffany's'' or has 'affairs to remember'. Instead we have breakfast at 3 am and affairs we try to forget as quickly as possible. Self protection and closing the deal are paramount. Cupid has hung himself down from the ceilings of heaven approxiamately 10 years ago, the mourning only took three days, untill people realized they don't need love, they only need personal interest and sexual intercouse.

I already feel at home.

A little past eleven, I was dressed to the nines at Cardinal located on the corner of Right Now and Everyone Was There. It was the place to see and to be seen.

Did I tell you my friends are the cherry that tops the cream which tops the cake? Yes. We are the ones that take little to no place in the pie chart and yet rule the social circle of Tokyo. Impressed? You should be. After all fame and fortune are the divine comedy of our mortal lives.

We are currenty sitting at Cardinal and every face is upon us. Why? Because the infamous quartet is re-born and here to reclaim it's crown. After explaining fifty people that; 'yes, it's been long, and yes I'm back for good.' I'm enoying my straight whisky while two very dear face is examining my face rather intensely.

Mai and Nao. You've changed so much. When I left you were still girls and now you are both fascinatingly gorgeous two women. If only you weren't my best friends... God only knows what I would do to you. But then again God is never around at this time of the year.

''I always suspected you would grow out to be exceptional but never in my life would I have thought you'd be head to head with me on looks department Blue.''

That's Nao Yuuki. She grew up to be the speed dial on every model's and actress' phone in Tokyo. She is 'the' PR you're looking for, of course if you look anywhere close as a Greek Goddess.

''Thank you for the compliment Red. I live to make you unhappy. I'm glad my past efforts have beared fruit this day.'' We share a smirk which turns into a grin. We love to mess with each other's lives. ''So Mai, I hear you have a boyfriend?'' I ask.

''Oh God no Natsuki don't let her start!'' Nao's eyes do a 360, and I let a little chuckle in return.

''But he is so perfect!'' Mai exclaims. ''I can't wait for you to meet him Natsuki. He is everything I ever dreamed of! Just... just perfect!'' A little pink hue is formed, oh God she has it bad.

''Yea, even his dog is fucking picture perfect.'' Nao sarcastically adds. Which gets me thinking, there can only be two reasons why Nao would say something like that. One; the guy is fucking perfect, or two; the guy is fucking bias and Mai is too blind to see it.

''Well, I'll be the judge of that.'' I say proudly. It is something of the past and they both remember it and laugh. In the past no one could date Mai Tokiha unless they went through my blessing, and man is that one handful task to overcome. What can I say I like my Mai pure, or so I liked it that way. This past 8 years showed all four of us are whores in the game of love.

''Where the heck is that damn blond. I bet she is having hard time letting go of her pets. You won't believe what I went through because of her last week! Because of that damned woman the movie shooting was post-poned for ten days! Ten days we sat around and wait for her little vacation to end!''

Nao burst out of no where. She is talking about our missing piece; Shizuru. Shizuru Fujino the one and only tycoon in heels.

''You know Nao, I was dreading to tell you this but I've played a little part in that without knowing. You know how she over works herself, so I hinted it might be nice to take some time off and go somewhere... Gomen.''

Mai looks so much like the little kid she used to be right now. I chuckle.

''What! God Mai did you have to pick right that time! Well I don't give a shit where she goes, if anything I'll buy her fucking tickets just don't let her steal my lead actress from now on!''

Although Nao looks irritated we all know it's an act. And we all know she can scream in complaint till she hits menapouse, she is still in love with the object of her hatred.

Oh yes, sorry. You see Nao had always had a crush on Shizuru. A feeling that is so strong that she learnt to cooperate with it through bickering and complaint, just to keep our blond friend as our friend, and we as the quartet. I remember the one day when Nao broke down, and came over my apartment in the middle of the night or more like morning, crying her eyes out because she had seen Shizuru with her best client. From that day on Nao decided to play on the straight side, with Shiz being the only woman of her affection.

Shizuru is a modelizer you see. What is a modelizer? Well, modelizers are a particular breed. They are a class higher than womanizers who will sleep with just about anything in a skirt. But modelizers are not obssesed with women, oh no, they are obssesed with women who in most cities are safely confined to billboards and magazines. But of course in Tokyo they actually run wild on streets turning the city into a virtual model country safari where people like Shizuru can pet the creatures in their natural habitat.

But I'll say this about my friend, Shiz is not the type to judge a character through looks, if anything Shiz is about brains and character, and much that this city might drown in beautiful bodies, it helds very few pearls with brains, and those pearls usually hide well inside shells. So my friend found the best solution; rather than knocking every door and try cracking those shells, she had decided she would spend her time with fake shiny pearls you can buy from any jewellry shop.

And I second that motion myself. When you have friends like these three who in the hell needs a fuck with brains.

''Ara, I'll make sure to steal my Nao as well next time, didn't know you felt that lonely...''

''Finally where the hell where...-''

I didn't hear the rest of Nao, nor heard Shizuru's teasing answer. It was a voice I had long to hear. Of course me and Shizuru never lost touch if anything we made sure to talk on the phone two-three times a week, her conversations had always left me fullfilled. But to actually hear it without the assistance of technology was something else.

I turned my head and rose from my seat with a smile on my face, that smile only held itself for a second. The moment I looked at her, a gasped internally. This was not the woman I had left behind, this woman standing in front of me with tilted head, smiling face and mischevious red blood eyes was a stranger to me. Yes, Shizuru Fujino was a beauty in her youth indeed, but she had transformed into something ephemeral while I was gone. In that momnet I was filled with anger, rage, and jealousy. How could I have gone away and miss spending 8 years away from my best friend! Who the hell was I kidding! God I'm an idiot at times.

''Hey Suki...'' she said in a low melodic voice, almost in a whisper. I use to hate it when she called me Suki, it made me feel unnecessarily girlish and I detested that feeling, but now it filled my heart with warmth. I still had my best friend, like I had before.

''Hey Shiz..'' I opened my arms and she slowly placed herself between them, her own circling my neck.

''I'm so glad you're back. I've missed my partner in crime.'' She breathed to my ear.

''I'm here now aren't I? You look beautiful by the way, almost didn't recognize you..'' I breathed back. She untangled herself from me with an overly dramatic face.

''Well it certainly was not easy keeping up the reputation of being 's best friend, I'm glad you approve of it.'' We chuckled and she took her place in between Nao and me.

To say I was happy would be an understatement. To say I was an idiot, would be even bigger one. What was trying to accomplish drowning myself in misery oceans away...

Just like that we were back to normal and started to enjoy our night, talk, drink and talk some more. What we talk about you ask? Well, there is only one thing we consistently talk about, and that is; sex.

To be more specific we were talking about a predicament Mai had. Last night after Kei (Mai's new boyfriend) took Mai to Philarmonic, they went back to his place and began the classic dating ritual... the blowjob tug of war.

''The truth is I hate it!'' Mai exclaimed while I had a burst of laughter, which may I add, had been non-existent in my life for quite some time. It felt weird to be laughing.

''Honey you can't be serious.'' Shiz said while taking a sip from her drink, but her smirk did not escape me.

''Hold on Mai..'' I stop to take a breather from my laughter. ''You mean to say, you never performed this act?'' Oh great I'm talking polite, this is something happens whenever I talk sex with Mai. It's like back to birds and the bees.

''She'll juggle, she'll spin plates, but she won't give head.'' Shiz answered my question.

''I don't like putting it in my mouth alright! I have a very sensitive gag reflex and it makes me want to puke!'' she exclaimed in a low voice.

''That's one way to say no..'' Nao smiled.

''It's not like I haven't tried Nao... practiced on a banana. I pretended it was a popsicle but... I just don't like it.''

Oh poor banana that was actually a popsicle. And oh poor me who will forever hold the image.

''Personally I'm loving it up to the point when the guy wants me to swallow.'' Nao retorted. Oh yes the straight talk of Nao, I had missed that.

''Well, that's just really a judgement call.'' Shizuru smirked to Nao, and I noticed something between them but couldn't quite point out what it was. Well, it is my first day, I can't know everything right.

''Are you honestly telling me you like it Nao?'' Mai asked with curiosity.

''Oral sex is like a God's gift to women; you can get off without worrying about getting pregnant. Plus, the sense of power is such a turn on. Maybe you are on your knees but you've got him by the balls.'' Nao replied with her trademark smirk. Shiz chuckled when Nao finished her statement while making a grabbing action with her right hand in the air. I let out a little laugh as well. It's always about power balance with this girl.

''Oh well, forget it Mai, you do if you wanna do it. If the guy forces you though, don't forget to give a nice kick to those balls on your way out. I personally give head to get head, but that's someone talking from the girls only team.''

Oh yes, have I told you I swing that way? I prefer woman, don't ask me why it would take too long. Basically Shiz and me play in the same team, now why did I had to add Shiz to that. Whatever.

''I second that.'' The person in question approved of me with a nod and a raised glass, we all raised ours and cheered to the liberating and complicated act of blow job. In the end we decided it was pro-choice, you do if you wanna do.

But I'm pretty sure if Mai rejects giving blow job she will loose this guy, and I'm happy that she will, he seems like an ass. And since Mai is the last standing monogamist in Tokyo, I believe she deserves better. But that better is way too hard to find in this place. Monogamists don't live anymore, the definition of monogamy changed into having a relationship while having sex with others but not exchanging fluids or phone numbers. I wish to be a monogamist like that, but then again I got over 'hope' a long time ago and I shouldn't let my best friends back to making me believe in it.

''So Natsuki where are you staying?'' Nao asked me in between our chatting.

''Staying over at the Richmond till I find a good place, you know I'm a picker when it comes to real estate so it may take a while..'' I mumbled as I thought I should be contacting a few of them in the morning.

''Nonsense.'' Shizuru cut my train of thought. ''You're our best friend, you can't possibly live in a hotel that long, and before you start I know it's gonna take long Natsuki.'' She didn't let me talk. I love that dominant side of hers. ''You are living with me, it's way too big even with Nao.'' Nao nodded to that excitingly. Wait. Nao?

''Nao?'' I asked a little dumbfounded.

''Yeah, I live with Shiz for now, bought an awesome new flat but the previous owners had no appreciation for it. So I'm getting it renovated.''

''Yes. That is the formal excuse we give to the media. The truth is she can't keep herself away from me. You know the sadistic side of our little red riding hood.'' Shizuru teased back and that resulted in an exaggerated reaction from Nao who turned to the blond and raised her fist.

''One day Shiz, you will pay for all you teasings, so bad that you'll have to close yourself up at Mount Fuji and live in seclusion. I'm just waiting for the right I time!''

''Okay okay you two cool down.'' Mai chuckled at her best friends while I still sat dumbfounded.

So did Shizuru know about Nao's feelings? What had happened between them?! How come Shiz never told me about Nao or Nao about Shiz? What in the fucking hell! And since when it was Shiz, since when they dropped to nicknames! Where had the uneasy formality between them... go?

''Alright.'' I said in a rather harsh voice that I hope would go undetected. I'm pretty sure Nao and Mai didn't feel it but Shizuru's eyes said other wise, as they were now looking at me in question.

I let go of my jealousy, I wasn't in position to question my place in their lives, come to think of it what have I told them about my life in 8 years. Nothing. Did I even tell them the most crucial reason why I was back and why I needed them, and would need them even more with each passing month? No. So suck it up Kuga. You are the one who needs patching up to do. I calmed down.

''It might be a blast after all. I'll come over tomorrow if it's okay?'' I said in sweetest voice possible. I recieved a hell yes from Nao who didn't even wait for Shizuru's answer, but of course Shizuru smiled warmly as well. It was Mai who pouted.

''Mou, you guys always have the most fun.''

We ended the night over there since they all had work tomorrow. Me? Oh well, I'm a shark. If you ask what a shark is, it is an entrepreneur who buys off company's in need, divides them in pieces and sells those pieces. What you need to become a shark? It is what you don't need; a heart. I simply make huge amount of money from people who scream for a rescuing hand in bussiness, but rather than to give them a hand I shred them into pieces. I don't need a heart, it is going to fail me soon anyways, so I decided to fail it sooner. The only ones who willl ever see the remaining struggling pieces of my heart is that three people and none other.