I am including this in the, what to call it...what to call it...well, it mentions all of the events in my other EEnE stories. It's about what Jimmy thinks of the Cul-de-sac as the kids grow-up.

Dedicated to my friend Kenzie who unknowingly gave me the idea.

Disclaimer on Profile

Fairytales and Mr. Yum Yums

"In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me" ~ Evanescence 'Imaginary'

I was always considered 'fluffy' but, over time things changed. I gave up my fairytales to the nightmares that haunted my sleep. To think about it, the Cul-de-sac has become a living Nightmare. Although, it was doomed from the start. I don't blame the Eds; I think I'm the only person who doesn't. I wish they were still here with us, so I could say that I'm sorry. The others don't care, even though they caused the Eds deaths. I can remember it like it was yesterday, they had found Double D and Eddy's bodies in the back of an old van in the junk yard. They made some sort of suicide pact according the police. We all know at least I do, and that it was a Romeo and Juliet final act. The lovers had taken their lives to escape the Hell that is Peach Creek, so they could be together in the afterlife. (I don't believe in Heaven, because Hell, in my mind, seems like home.) Some days I wish I had the guts to do the same. As I said, I gave my fairytales up for the nightmares.

Then there was only Ed, dear god, like Edger Allen Poe in the Raven, he lost his sanity and hope. Sarah and I had been the one to witness the aftermath of that suicide. Ed bled himself dry and wrote his story on the walls of his bedroom. I can still remember watching the blood run down the walls like tears roll down a cheek. It wasn't just his story it was the Eds story. Every time they had been made fools of and humiliated by the rest of the kids in Peach Creek, Ed took note and there it was in black and red. Not all the blood was fresh and underneath the layers of paint, the first draft could be scene. He had been doing it for some time. I guess that without parents to care it wasn't that hard to repaint a few sections of wall at a time. There's a rumor that the other two did the same, bled a little and wrote about their fears using the wall as a canvas. That one's just a rumor. I've also thought about trying that but, my canvas remains black. The Eds were always the first to do something a little outside the box, maybe because they were outside the box. Even more so as they got older, everyone else just grew into the stereotype urban teen they had been raised to be.

Kevin was the oldest and like everyone predicted, was the greatest athlete to hit Peach Creek. Not to mention the biggest jackass in the world according to the Eds. They were right, of course. He's the main villain in the twisted Peach Creek fairytale. We found out about Double D and Eddy's relationship, because of him. After all, he took the picture and told us how the 'dorks' were going at it in the alley and how he had just walked by in the beginning of it and the two already in the middle of a game of tonsil hockey. There was a lot more detail, but I don't care to repeat it.

Nazz, well, I believe she more or less followed and did whatever Kevin asked her to do. After a while, I began to wonder who was leading whom. They were never in love to begin with. I guess jackass jock and cheerleading whore just go perfectly together. Everything is okay as long as someone is getting some. The others like Jonny and Rolf; no one knows what happened to them. They moved away not long after Eddy and Double D were found, the ' it's bad neighborhood so let's move' attitude. Although, rumor has it that the Rolf and his family were illegal. Everyone knows how it is in these suburban areas; one will never know what is true or false.

As for Sarah, she's the one who can't grow up. Maybe deep down she wasn't as strong as she appeared to be. I can hear her crying even now, clinging to her dollies. Wanting everything to go back to the way it was, when the Eds were still breathing, when everyone was a kid, and when every fairytale had a successful conclusion. Some days she goes down to Ed's room and stares at the white walls asking why she had been so mean. Why she couldn't just accept her brother and his friends in all their strange ways.

"Jimmy, what happened to Mr. Yum Yums? I saw him the other day." I stop writing and look up to see she's standing in the doorway, tears streaming down her face. She asks me this every week as if clinging to another time and place will bring the Eds back.

"He's gone Sarah, I threw him away." is always my response. She'll turn away and go back to her brother's old room, holding her dollies, even though she's almost 15. Then I just sit here in my room, the blinds closed and door shut wondering when I'm going to throw him away. On my desk sits Mr. Yum Yums, his buttons eyes as empty as my soul. I guess even I can't let all of the fairytales go. One day I'll let him go, but I fear that if I let him go, I'll be letting my life go.

My hand hurts from writing and the teddy bear pen is almost out of ink. No wonder Disney changed the endings, then again who wants to live in a world where people bleed and hearts stop? I gave my fairytales up for the nightmares. The words stare at me, what a lie. This whole paper is a lie! Only the last sentence rings true. As much as I want to be numb, I know that I can't. My carefully constructed world of fantasy is the only thing keeping me sane. I look over at Mr. Yums Yums once more, how is it that so much pain creates so much beauty? I hold him to my chest, tears coming fast. I know that I can't let go, I cannot let my life go.

I love the smell of angst in the evening. At least no one commited suicide in this one, but I did go into a little more detail about what happed to Ed, after all deaths come in threes. Hopefully I'll have my next EnEE story Bulletproof up next week. Yes, it is slash, but not full on. You'll recognize where I got the idea from by the first line. "I'm bulletproof, baby!!" spoken by the one and only Eddy. It's the first set of 'mixed' emotions DD feels for Eddy, but I need to do some episode research before I start getting to the guts of it. So if you can think of any episode where it hints at EddxEddy, before, what ever episode he says 'bulletproof, baby' please PM me and credit will be given where it is due.

As Always R&R

Crystal Volcheck