I don't know where I'm going with the fic. I haven't written something dark in a long time, but I had the sudden urge to create this. The trouble was finding two characters that would match where I wanted to fic to start. I don't have much written for this story just the first chapter. Let me know what you think. Tell me if it's good enough to continue. I know my fics haven't been as good as the other ones, but I'm trying to recover from hard times like most other Americans so my time has been spent struggling, sleeping, and dreading each day. That's where this one came from. I hope everyone likes this.

Warnings: Again it's a dark fic. This chapter is full of depressing and suicidal thoughts and actions. If this offends you, or you don't like these types of fics please turn away now. It's probably too graphic if you're sensitive to suicidal actions.


Chapter One

Jou stared at the silver object reflecting off the pale moonlight. It sat on the nightstand several feet away from him. Countless times he attempted to hid it from himself, but he never succeeded. Hugging his legs against his chest, Jou rocked himself back and forth on the moth eaten mattress. Shivers rolled down his body while thoughts of that crimson liquid dripping from his skin plagued his dreams and thoughts. A few tears trickled down his cheeks, freezing against his cold skin. His room felt like a freezer. The cold winter months were the worst in his life. The furnace was never turned on, and the pipes refused to pull water through them, forcing him to find other means to a shower. Jou hated everything about himself and his life. Everything from his long, messy blond hair that he could never cut right to his beat up old fashion clothes that now hung on his thin frame like a blanket. He didn't own any other clothes, but the short sleeve shirts, and the one green jacket that he tried to keep clean. He had one uniform for school, but he refused to wear it anywhere besides school. The school officials would throw him out if he turned up at school with holes in his uniform.

Jou's gaze fell over to the blade once again. Many times he tried to take his life. His arms and ankles had traces of long red marks running along his veins. Pulling on his hair and shaking his head back and forth, Jou fought the urges. He couldn't cut himself tonight. He had a physical tomorrow, and he knew the school doctor would send him to the psychiatrist if he saw them. Crying out in frustration, he threw the dagger across the room. He wanted so badly to feel the cold, stinging sensation of the blade. He wanted to see his red blood flowing from the deep wounds as they twirled along his skin and dripped to the soiled mattress. To feel that tickling sensation as more of his essence drained from his body, Jou sighed and leaned against the cold, dirty wall. Jou knew that the only way he was going to get to sleep tonight would to drain enough of his blood to feel that dizzy, drowsy feeling. Unfortunately, he wasn't blessed with the ability to do that tonight.

He watched the minutes tick on as his alarm clock seemed to take an hour just to change one minute. The door downstairs slammed shut as Jou instantly sat up in his bed. He heard his father slam a case of beer somewhere downstairs. Quietly getting up off the bed, he quietly shut his door, smelling the smoke from his father's cigar climbing its way through the ceiling. Climbing back on the bed, Jou lied down and tried to pull himself in as small of a ball as possible to conserve heat. Tears ran down his cheeks as he figured that their last twenty dollars for the week went to that case of beer instead of the bread Jou wanted. He stomach made a low grumble, knowing that he wouldn't be feeding it tomorrow. That made another day without food. He hated how his school wouldn't provide lunches for free. What good was a school if they didn't take care of the students that went there?

Jou considered many times asking his friends for something to eat, but the pride inside of him refused to submit to that. He didn't know how much longer he would be able to fight the tears and his growling stomach as he sat that the lunch table watching them all eat while he pretended that he wasn't hungry. He remembered a few days ago that Yugi insisted that he eat half his pizza, but that was the last thing Jou remembered eating. His stomach gave that nauseous, painful sensation when it realized that it wasn't going to get the nutritious food it desired and began to eat away at itself. The night continued even without Jou sleeping. He occasionally heard his father throwing a bottle against the wall, crashing into it and spraying glass all over the floor. He made a mental note to wear shoes before walking downstairs tomorrow morning. Jou considering skipping school again in order to use that dagger against his skin, but he didn't have too many more days he could skip before the school held him back a grade. He didn't want his friends to move onto the next grade and leave him behind. Even though Jou had no desire to do anything with his life, he clung to the little comfort his friends had.

Finally the alarm clock chimed six o'clock, forcing Jou to rise from his restless night and over to his closet. He carefully dressed himself, happy that the physical was going to be done today. He didn't know how much longer he could hold off on cutting his arms. It was over a month since he last cut his arms. The exact day that they announced everyone was to be scheduled for a new year physical was the day Jou knew he had to do something to cover up his usual nightly recital. Taking one last look at his arms, the small pink lines looked as if they were from long ago, and the smaller cuts have long since healed. He could easily say he was working on things around the house, and the various cuts were from different times. Rehearsing his story one more time, Jou combed his hair with the broken brush that barely had any teeth left to it. He quietly opened the door and carefully slipped down the steps.

Jou's father was passed out on the couch, the empty beer bottle spilt all over the already stained carpet. A pile of broken glass laid spread out across the far wall. Jou quietly cleaned up the mess and dumped everything into the trashcan before he started the long walk to school. He couldn't afford bus fare, forcing him into the early morning walk every day. Snow blew around him as his warm breath fogged in front of him. Jou had trouble figuring out how his cold body still had enough heat inside of him to make that fog in front of his mouth. It was six thirty before Jou even reached the street that Yugi's house sat on. His fingers felt frozen to his long sleeves, and his legs were numb, but he was used to both of those feelings that it didn't bother him too much any longer.

Yugi waited underneath the small roof keeping the doorway to the game shop dry. He smiled gently at Jou and held up a large jacket. "Someone left this at our shop over a month ago. I had it washed after waiting for awhile. I thought you could use it."

"You didn't purposely hold the jacket from someone just to give it to me did you? I told you that I was fine."

Yugi shook his head. "I wouldn't do that, but Jou, you need something warmer than that jacket."

Jou sighed and moved further down the street. He wrapped the brown jacket around himself instantly feeling the warmth. Yugi walked quietly beside Jou. "Thank you," he quietly whispered.

Yugi finally smiled for a second before turning serious again. "Atemu is worried about you and so are the rest of us. You look tired more lately. Are you sleeping?"

"I've been working late these last few nights."

"I really don't think you should be working all those nights. What about your father? Is he still working?"

"Yeah, he is. I'm just working two nights," Jou lied. His father hadn't work in almost a year, and Jou spend every night and weekend at the small corner shop near his house. Forty hours every week with occasional overtime wasn't enough to keep things going especially with his father wasting all the money on alcohol and cigars. Jou slipped every now and then on the snow starting to gather on the ground. The thin soles of his shoes pulled the cold of the snow through it and directly to his numb feet. Yugi was quiet for the rest of the way to school. Jou barely talked anymore to his friends.

It has been a long time since his sister's operation and Battle City. They found out more and more about the pharaoh residing inside of Yugi every day that passed. Their trip to Egypt wasn't something Jou enjoyed, but it did fascinate him that he knew more about the ex-pharaoh. Atemu was suppose to return to the afterlife, but he wanted to stay with Yugi even if that meant staying forever inside of Yugi. That one selfish thought allowed Atemu to receive enough energy that made him a new body so that he would live out the rest of his life in peace. Atemu now helped Yugi's grandfather with the shop.

The morning classes were uneventful. Jou didn't run into his infamous rival today. Something was off about Kaiba lately. Normally he would show everyday for classes, but now he was attending far less. Jou thought that the billionaire would come in today, but his physical might be scheduled any other day this week. Either way, Jou wondered why he even cared. He hated moneybags. The was to physical come after lunch. Yugi again forced him into eating half of his lunch. He was grateful for his smaller friend, and knew that he would eventually have to swallow his pride and ask for help. His other friends also gave him bits of their lunch. All of which he didn't turn down and felt relieved that his stomach was full again.

The school doctor believe his story when he discovered the long cut marks along his arms. Either that or he didn't want to get involved with a suicidal teenager. It took less than half a hour, and he was back again into his afternoon classes, ignoring them like he usually did. At the end of school, Yugi asked Jou if he wanted to stop by the game shop, but he quietly declined and said that he wanted to get some sleep. He wanted to actually go home and sleep for hours, but he had to work that night. Immediately after leaving school, Jou would have only an hour to get from there down to the small shop and changed into his work uniform. He done this hundreds of time before, but today seemed more of a chore.

After passing Yugi's game shop and saying his goodbyes to his smaller friend, Jou found himself walking alone back to his house. He was a block away from it when he spotted his father standing in the alleyway between his apartment building and the one next to it. He was obviously having a heated conversion with another man. Approaching carefully and quietly, Jou caught the last of the conversion. They were talking about money his father owned this man. Jou cursed under his breath and ran up the stairs to get into his uniform for work. He didn't have time to wait to see what would happen. All he knew was that he was going to be late for work. Work that he cherished more than his life. He needed that job to survive not only by providing money, but by allowing Jou some time away from his father. The longer he stayed out of the house the less likely Jou would be on the receiving end to his father's drunken abuse.


I hope that chapter was okay. Let me know what you think and if I should continue. While writing the chapter I started thinking of more ideas to go with the story. I'll continue to think, but if no one really likes this story I can stop it. I'm just not confident in my writings lately. I don't know when the next chapter will be. Hopefully soon if I continue. Thank you for reading and your patience. Please review.

Angel Dove