A/N: This is a songfic based on the song Teardrops on My Guitar by Taylor Swift. I don't own Rent, or the song.
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
that I want, and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about, and she's got everything
that I have to live without.
I looked at Mark, as he got ready to go out with his new girlfriend, Maureen. He turned to look at me, and I forced a smile. It didn't reach my eyes, but I knew Mark wouldn't notice. He's probably thinking about this wonderful beautiful girl Maureen whose stolen his heart. I wonder how beautiful she really is. I bet she's perfect for Mark. He talks about her a lot. I hate to admit it, but I'm so jealous.
Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That i can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night.
We're sitting on the couch, just like we used to. But something's changed. Mark's so happy. Mark's talking to me, telling me some story about his date last night. I laugh, and it seems its in the appropriate place. I'm not really paying much attention, and the laugh was because I knew that I was just so focused on Mark, I probably wouldn't notice if someone like... Elvis walked through the loft. He's talking about how he's in love with Maureen. He's talking about how he's finally got it right. I'm so happy for him, but it hurts just the same. I think about him at night, when I'm trying to go to sleep. I wonder if he'd ever guess that he's all I think about sometimes, when lying in bed.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
he's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do.
Mark's on a date. He seems to be on a lot of those lately, leaving me alone in the loft. He thinks I'm all broody because of April. Sure, I was for awhile. Teardrops keep staining my guitar, and the one time he walked in he assumed it was because of April. That wasn't true. He was the reason. I keep wishing on the first star I see each night, that one day he'll finally realize that I'm right for him. He's like one of those songs that you hear when you're riding around in a car, and you just have to sing a long. You don't know why... but you do.
Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breath?
and there he goes, so perfectly. The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She better hold him tight, give him all her love,
looks in those beautiful eyes, and know she's lucky cause
Mark walks by, and my breath gets caught in my throat. It takes me awhile to breathe properly again. He's walking by, and I just can't stand how perfect he seems. He's so flawless, and I wish I could be like that. He has his girl, his art, his friends... and I have nothing. No girlfriend (or boyfriend for that matter), I can't seem to play anything other then Mussetta's Waltz, and my friends have all been avoiding me. I hope Maureen holds him close, the way he likes to be held. I hope she focuses all her love on him. I hope that when she looks into his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes, she knows how lucky she is.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star.
he's the song in the car I keep singing don't know why I do.
If all I ever do is cry when I get my guitar, I should just give it up. It's not supposed to get wet. I need to stop wishing on those stars, cause it's not doing any good. Can you make a decision to stop singing a long to the addicting song? I don't know. I can't give any of it up just yet. The tears, the wishing, or being addicted to Mark.
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight.
I get convinced to go to the Life with Mark, only to have to walk home by myself. He's off with Maureen, leaving shortly after I got there. I enter the empty loft, and go to my room. I turn off the light, and look at the picture on my night stand. It's of Mark, Mark and I. One of the only pictures I have, and it's of him. Staring at it, I start to cry. I put it down, so I can't see it anymore and close my eyes, trying to go to sleep. Maybe tonight...
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one whose got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
and he's all that I need to fall into.
I love him so much I cry. Roger Davis, guitarist, punk rock sex God, cries over Mark Cohen. Scrawny Jewish albino film maker. He's the only one who knows enough about me, the only one who I trust enough that he even could break my heart, and he does. I would give up all the time I have left to spend it with him, and even that wouldn't be enough. I want to be around him, and he wants to be around Maureen. If I could just be around him, if I could just know that he'd catch me if I fell for him... I have fallen for him. He doesn't need to know that. He worries about me enough. So I'll just keep on smiling...
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see...