Chapter 1 Prologue
The Happiest Day Of Your Life
Its clear how that saying started, the day of the wedding is the beginning, so it is the day you look back on all your life as the day everything solidified and got real and began.
Finally two are one, legally, officially, really.
Nobody can pull you apart, you have another half, a second person who means as much as you do, your other half.
The one who completes you, fills in the blanks, supports you, understands you, protects you, loves you.
The entire world changes. before, you were you and he was him and now, you two are one. Now, nobody invites one of you and not the other. You are a couple, a pair, one entity.
Your names are linked together, if someone thinks of you, they think of him too.
Then there's the wedding itself.
The flowers, adorning the church, making up the bouquet, pinned in buttonholes for the men, arranged artfully in the hair of the women, smelling divine and making a fragrant memory so whenever you encounter those blooms, they bring back this day.
And the guests. Your family, his family, your mutual friends, his friends, your friends. The few obligatory guests it would have been rude to not invite but mainly, they are the people you want there, to witness your union, to celebrate with you this day of days.
And the bridesmaids, the besties, the girls who are always there for you, the girls who have your back, who pulled you out of dance clubs when you drank a little too much and danced a little too close to that guy who really only looked good under the influence of too much tequila.
The girls who let you cry on their shoulders when that guy you adored and thought you loved, let you down and cheated and broke your heart. The girls who took you out even when you wanted to curl up and die and cry yourself to oblivion. No, you are coming with us. There is a whole world out there, plenty of men. The girls who you told when you met him. The one. The one who held your heart in his hand, whether he meant to or not, whether he even realized.
The music, the wedding march, the long aisle that leads the bride to the eager, waiting groom who cant wait to make promises and to love and honor and in sickness and in health, to love and cherish forever. The kiss, the applause, the tears, the happiness, the confetti falling like snow.
The reception, the food, the speeches, you remember it all forever, it was all part of the day. The happiest day of your life.
Then there are the gifts. The little things bought with love, the big, showy gifts that prove I have plenty of money and am a success so I can buy the best gift, the toasters and the years ahead it will take to use all eight of them. The sheets, that make you smile as you think of the bed they will adorn. The photo frames with your names and the date engraved. Like you need a reminder of this day.
The dress. The most perfect dress you will ever wear yet you will only wear it once and love it all the more for that very reason. The shoes that are the perfect match for the dress. You almost gave up looking and settled for near enough, then you saw them and knew. These are the ones. These will make the day even more perfect.
The make up, the hair, a little formal, but still loose and pretty and framing your face.
Then its time.
The father, proud and happy and smug. He made this perfect girl who grew into this perfect bride. He holds his arm out and the bride hangs on and does the walk down the aisle and waiting for her,the groom, his face turned towards her, his eyes shining with joy and love and devotion, he watches and waits and smiles and everyone knows, its over, its just begun.
And the minister drones and they answer and they are announced, husband and wife.
And the groom is so stunning it makes your heart ache and turn over in your chest and you smile and its beautiful and all you ever dreamed and imagined. Then you realize, your dress is not white, hers is. She got him, you didn't. You are merely the bridesmaid and he is the groom and your heart is on the floor and he steps on it as he leaves the church but he doesn't see it lying there because his eyes are filled with her. he only sees her. Maybe he only ever saw her and you were just fooling yourself.
And you keep up the charade that you are not dead, you are happy, happy for them, yes, they do make a lovely couple, perfect? Oh yes, perfect for each other, who could not agree? Its obvious, isn't it?
My turn? Me next? I don't think that's possible.
Because he is taken. He is gone now.
All I am is an empty shell.
Who would ever want an empty shell?
He didn't even want me when I was a whole, complete person, who laughed and tried to win his heart and thought, really thought, for a while, he was falling. He did fall, but she caught him, not me.
I am a fantastic best friend. they both tell me. Told me many times.
What would they have done without Bella? Gosh, the wedding wouldn't have happened without Bella.
She was such a help, such an angel.
We owe her.
The only payment I want goes to her.
Wave goodbye, the honeymoon beckons. She kisses you and thanks you again and says see you soon, when we get back.
Then your heart stops and you are in his arms for just a minute but its the longest minute ever and you can feel his heartbeat, even though its beating for her, its you feeling it, so you pretend its for you. And he kisses your cheek and you know you will treasure that kiss forever and he thanks you but already, his eyes are gone, searching for her and his smile isn't really for you, because he is looking at her as he smiles at you.
And its over and done and they leave and you stay and its finished.
Happiest day of your life.
So, it only gets worse from this day forward.
The best man loosens his tie and puts his arm around you and leads you back inside and puts a drink in your hand and you drink and feel a little better.
So you hold out the glass and he fills it again and he is talking in his velvety voice and the drink makes you mellow and you laugh when you really want to cry and you drink more and it hurts less and then its dark and there are lips on yours, insistent, and you think, why the hell not?
There's nothing in this world left for me now, so a bit of comfort, being offered by the pretty man with the copper hair and emerald eyes, and the bottle in his hand that keeps filling your glass, and you know how this night is going to end and you know you will let it he asks permission and you tell him yes and its fine and there have been many before him, even if its a lie.
Maybe its not right and these are the wrong arms and the wrong lips but his belong to her now so you settle and you let these lips explore your body and kiss you in places you had saved for another but it is all for nothing so this one may as well have them.
And he pushes inside you and you feel the barrier break and the blood seeps and the pain is welcome because it over rules the pain in your heart for a few minutes then he is pounding in and out and thrusting and waking up parts you didn't know you had and you think maybe today is not a complete waste and he makes your body respond even though you forbid it to and you shake and come around him and the waves crash as the tsunami hits and washes you away with it and you are helpless to stop and you just go and float and don't care if you drown.
And he falls beside you and he sleeps and you lay there in the wrong arms and you cry silent tears and the world somehow keeps turning.
Please review. One shot? Need more? Just a vague idea that came to me in my delirium. Cheers,Lynzi