A familiar, fell voice whispering, "Back to visit me again, eh Kit?" snapped Naruto into awareness, as he found himself in the cavern facing the Kyuubi no Yoko, eye to empty eye-socket. "Hello meatbag."
"GAH!" Naruto shouted as he sprung back, pressing against the far wall of the cave while clutching his chest, swearing his heart was about to spring from his chest. "Don't do that! Can't you summon some skin or something?"
"I could... but then I couldn't scare you like this, now could I?" the skeletal form teased as it settled down while looking at the chains holding it to the wall it was bound to. With a dry, sigh that caused its bones to rattle, "No, it won't do to antagonize you like that... let's start over..."
Before Naruto's very eyes, flesh and sinew crept its way over the blackened bones. What appeared at the end would probably have sent a lesser man into a catatonic state of blood loss, as aside from the nine tails and two fox like tails sticking out of the top of her head, Kyuubi would have passed for an amber eyed, orange-red haired athlete in her prime. Solid muscles rippled sensually under perfectly smooth skin, not that Naruto noticed. Instead his eyes were locked on the two mammary glands currently staring back at him.
Sadly for the young boy of hormonal age, the dream nipples were hidden by a black and red track suit like he'd seen the basketball players wear during practice sometimes. "There you go, so much better than the last form you chose for me... Not that I'm female mind... I'm not male either, so it matters not."
"W...wait, 'I chose' isn't that all on you?" Naruto asked with honest confusion, hoping Kyuubi didn't point out that his pants were very tight right now. "I mean... well if you're not male or female... doesn't that mean you get to choose the form you take?"
"Your mindscape kit, your rules about how I appear. I suppose I have a little influence in colors and keeping my tails, but nothing else," Kyuubi explained as she settled down on the stone shelf that had been next to her pile of bones. "This cave is much better than the sewer, thank you."
"Uhh... yeah, no problem..." Naruto answered uncertainly as he relaxed a little in front of the demonic entity that had made his dream self's life a living hell. Okay, so it didn't do much aside from attacking a village after... something... and then getting sealed inside his stomach. Wait, what did she do to him again?
Well the demon fox in the dream was a big jerk, and the embodiment of evil. But it had kept him alive by healing him, and taking care of that pesky little malnutrition problem of his. And it had given him all that chakra when he needed it.
So... why was she so evil again?
"So... trapped inside me... how's that working out?" Naruto asked lamely as he tried to reconcile what happened in his dream to what he was seeing right now. It was like two very different entities, both of which had no concept of the other.
"Oh you know, enjoying your mind's view of things, sleeping late, plotting how to get you to bang that hot athlete of yours before you die of blue balls like last time... The usual," Kyuubi answered with a small shrug of her shoulders. "Or maybe that pale eyed girl with all the bounce to her step... anything but the pink haired harpy. Gods she gave me nightmares, and I'm a demon! We don't GET nightmares!"
"Ah... yeah, I'm pretty sure she's lesbo for Ino, but in denial for Sasuke... or something like that..." Naruto answered while scratching his cheek nervously, it wasn't like he had much experience talking to living embodiment of evil, women, or anyone else. Let alone one that was a prisoner in a cave, whom he'd just seen the breasts of. "So... umm... Is this going to be a regular thing? Or am I going to see more of that Konoha place from my dreams?"
"Dreams? Oh... right, you think they're dreams..." Kyuubi asked before breaking off in a deep, sinister chuckle. "You will dream again Kit... and there is much to be revealed... but for now... stop groping that cute little athlete."
Naruto blinked and whipped his hand away from Tenten's breast, just as a shutter click sounded from the front seat, getting a groan of displeasure from Anko as she looked at the preview. "Awwww, come on Naruto, go back and grope her some more... let me get a picture..."
"No. Thanks," Naruto answered forcefully as he carefully placed his hand on Tenten's arm, steering well clear of her private parts. He wasn't about to let Anko embarrass him or Tenten any further than she already had. Not if he could help it at least.
If anyone had looked at Tenten's face, they would have seen a girl torn between frustration, gratitude, and embarrassment. However, what was important to the story was that Kurenai was watching Naruto's reaction in the mirror, with a smirk on her face. "Have a good nap there Naruto?"
"Y...yes ma'am... I swear, I wasn't trying to do anything!" Naruto replied back fervently as he tried desperately to not seem like a complete pervert in front of Tenten, who he wasn't entirely sure was sleeping, since her breathing wasn't the same as when she napped on his arm earlier.
"Really? That's funny... since boys your age are supposed to have some urges to try things like that..." Kurenai mused as she pulled into the mall parking lot. "We'll have to set up an appointment to look into that... unless you're just trying to be a gentleman... in which case, listen to her. She'll clue you in."
"Gotcha..." Naruto agreed, blushing deeper than he had when Anko was teasing him earlier. He had plenty of urges, and wanted so much to act upon them, but it wasn't right. Was it? They were just teens, and she had so much ahead of her.
He couldn't risk that for his selfish gains, could he?
Mere centimeters away, the 'sleeping' girl was having a war with her hormones of a similar nature to what was occurring with her friend and psuedo-boyfriend. Wait, they hadn't had a date, so was it possible to even be that? What does one call a boy that they want to ride into the ground until one of them ends up with a broken pelvis?
Meh, she'd just go with Psuedo-Boyfriend until further notice. He would be her boyfriend... sooner or later. If he ever asked her out that is. She still wanted to be asked out by the hot, muscular, nummy boy she was currently snuggling with. Why couldn't he have continued to grope her? She was enjoying it, DAMMIT!
But she guessed that was just a part of why she liked him, he was so kind and gentle despite everything people say about the Prankster Prince of Konoha. Now if only she could get him to ditch their second monitor, take him to a dark theater and guide him into asking her out. If he had half the stamina of what he did in the dreams, a fact she was willing to believe after hearing about his run through Gai's obstacle course from hell, he would even be able to keep up with her insane lifestyle. Some of which, she'd admit, would be pounding her into the mattress and out the other side when they got old enough.
You know, being in the mixed martial arts group would be a good way to work off some of this pent up tension and aggression she was feeling. Hopefully, before she ended up doing something stupid like raping Naruto until he liked it. No matter how much PrettyDangoKittyPrincess might suggest it in her forum posts, it just didn't seem like a good way to get a guy to like you in her opinion.
Besides she might get to play with those wonderful sharp, pointy, pain-inducing implements of ouchies that her dream-self got to use. She wasn't nearly as obsessive with them as her other side appeared to be in those dreams, but they still looked really cool, especially that three tined kunai, which curled the outer tines in on itself, so she could hook something internal like a spine and rip it out with a jerk. Or maybe that sword with a bone-saw along the back edge of it. Or the scroll that stored dozens upon dozens of weapons to be thrown.
She would have to look into finding some way to duplicate those scrolls... and while she was at it, explosive notes as well. There was just something about them that she desperately wanted to have at her beck and call, to use as she pleased.
She couldn't even imagine why the dream Gai-sensei wouldn't allow her to to use them at all. It's not like she blew him up, burned off the eyebrows of his prized pupil, gave the brown haired fate-obsessed one a mullet, and nearly destroyed a village or anything... though there was that one point where everything sorta got blurry for a few hou- err days of dream time towards the beginning of her dreams, so she couldn't be entirely certain of that.
But enough of that, she'd worry about the sharp and pointies and the boom booms later. Right now was her plotting Naruto-time damnit! The only problem was getting Anko to leave them alone for a few hours today. She'd ruin everything with that cursed camera of hers and just how pushy she was.
Naruto had to be a slow, careful seduction to ensure that he doesn't run away from her and ruin all her lovely little plans for the boy. Now if she could just get him to understand that she wanted him to be naughty with her. Eventually, mostly if he could escape Gai for a another day after they get back. If he couldn't, then they would have to survive several grueling months of pain, agony, suffering, and whining from the rest of the people she'd heard were stuck on the list if he failed to make it through. Plus, she wouldn't have enough energy to get naughty with him.
As the van pulled into a parking stall, Tenten 'woke up' stretching a little bit and yawning. From the corner of her eye, she caught sight of Naruto casting glances at her breasts as they strained against the material of the t-shirt she'd worn under her coat, which had pulled a little tighter in her 'sleep'.
"Sasuke, Kabuto, you two are with me today. Naruto, Tenten, I'll trust you two to keep Anko out of trouble long enough to buy Naruto some clothing, we'll meet up for lunch at noon... make that one-thirty at the East mall entrance to the food court," Kurenai ordered, grabbing Sasuke by the collar before he could attempt to make a run for it. It was almost like he didn't want to spend the next few hours going from store to store looking for the best outfits. "And Anko, if I have to pick you up from the security office again, I will make the kitchens not give you any dango for a full month... among other punishments. Understood?"
It was one thing to see the usually cocksure, boisterous Anko performing her duties around the student commons. It was an entirely different thing seeing her being glared down by a red-eyed, fashion obsessed woman that didn't look like she could win against anyone in a fight, and replying in a meek, scared little voice with a "Y...yes ma'am..."
Maybe it was a good thing that Naruto never pranked the psychiatrist, even if she annoyed him during the monthly shopping trips, she was still pretty nice. But that... that look right there made the prankster want to find a nice black board to write 'Naruto is a good boy' over one or two hundred times.
In a store specializing in masks, a man sneezed all over one that looked like an orange spiral lollipop. Unfortunately, due to store policy, he had to now buy it. And he did so hate orange and spirals to begin with, not that he had any clue as to why, but he just did.
Back with the first group, Kurenai was dragging Sasuke off to await Kabuto's train at the nearby station, already talking about how she was going to get him some lovely dress shirts, slacks, and ties. Items that he had better wear on a regular basis or she would hunt him down with a vengeance unseen by man. Sasuke... Sasuke was torn between stripping out of the shirt he was being dragged by and running for it like a real man, or sticking around and plotting out the slow, painful demise of Tenten and Naruto. They'd just moved up near the top of the list, right after his older brother. At least he wasn't in the area.
At the mall's optometrist, said older brother was getting the results of his eye exam. It would seem that his vision was failing at an accelerated rate, and soon he wouldn't be able to see his cute younger brother anymore. Maybe he should try that incredibly expensive and risky procedure to get his vision fixed, he could trust his personal assistant Kisame to run things for the week that it would take to heal from this laser vision correction surgery.
Really, the doctor should stop trying to persuade him that it was perfectly safe. Especially since he replaced himself with a coat tree earlier. He should also get Sasuke in for a check-up, maybe if they caught it early, they could treat it without the 'laser' thingie.
Picking up the inch thick lenses the doctor had made for him, he grabbed his pimp cane and began walking out of the office. In the lobby, he found the blue suited man that was his assistant, watching the fish swimming about the doctor's aquarium rather hungrily. "Kisame, let's go get some breakfast, and no sushi today. I'm in the mood for sausages and eggs."
"Sure thing boss, we can go to the Perkies next to the train station, and have the food there. They are highly recommended," the shark faced man answered with a smile as he pulled the coat on his boss. "Should I go ahead and schedule an appointment for Sasuke to see an optometrist sir?"
"Yes, and then I need to discuss some future plans for the company with you," Itachi agreed, feeling better about trusting the man who had been confused with a shark more than once. He wasn't a shark, he was a certified lawyer, and sharks tended to run from them. How Itachi managed to get a lawyer as his personal assistant was a mystery even to the two men, but one day they met and the strange partnership they had formed almost instantly.
In Dango group, as Anko called it, Naruto and Tenten were one step behind said wild woman, trying to figure out a way to ditch her and have some fun. It took three stores, ten bags of underwear, clothing, and accessories (including a new silver chain for his pendent) for them to get an idea to form. "Hey Anko, is that a free dango sale?" Tenten asked, only to find an afterimage of the woman where she had been. "Right... run for the car and then hide out in the theater?"
"Sounds good, I'll buy the tickets and snacks," Naruto agreed, hefting the bags and following his female-friend-that-he-might-have-possible-romantic-feelings-for out to the parking lot. As they found Kurenai's van they ran into their first snafu of the plan. Neither of them had keys, and Kurenai locked the van.
The second flaw was the rather angry looking Anko storming after them. Maybe telling her about a fictitious dango sale was a bad idea... and they would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those darn meddling lock and their entrance deterrent nature!
As the pair smiled nervously at the obviously livid woman, they knew that they were not getting away from this in one piece. It was never a good sign when the eyes of the person looking at you brought to mind images of a noose.
"Now Anko, let me explain..." Naruto started with his best smile, hoping to at least buy some time for the woman to cool off.