The Talk



Beast Boy x Terra
Cyborg x Sarah Simms
Robin X Starfire


Author's Note


This is an offshoot story loosely information based off my Kitsune Among Titan series. In this continuity Naruto is a semi-immortal. He does not age but he can be killed. Much time had past since his era and he had live from century to century adapting a new persona. Because of atypical merging with Kyuubi/gaining it's chakra sub-plot, there was an added side effect of him not being able to conceive children or the ability to take a permanent mate without demon blood, henceforth why he has settled down with Raven. Who not only meets his requirements genetically/physically but can understand him in an emotional/mental sense.

Start Story

In the coastal city of Jump located on an island offshore of New York in a large Metal T a new day had begun. Living within this T was a group of young super powered individuals that used their gifts to fight crime. They were just one of many groups that banned together for a greater cause. But...there were times when they were there own enemy, more so then any adversary. As such, one in particular had something she could not do.

There were many things Racheal Raven Roth-Uzumaki could do. She could fight criminals in the form of armed gun man and psychopaths. On more then one occasion she fought aliens,, inter-dimensional demons, super humans, and meta-humans.

She was a gifted Sorceress capable of casting spells, healing, reading minds and many other things. There was only one thing Racheal Raven Roth-Uzumaki could not do, well besides not being able to bake a pie. She found herself unable to comprehend this task. She wasn't alone in this task of course, as her husband Naruto shared equal responsibility. In fact she blamed him, despite the fact she was the aggressor and was having urges. Ah those damnable urges.

''Oh Azar...couldn't we just erase her memory?'' Raven pleaded as the others shook their heads. Though they were quite sympathetic to their friend's plight.

''Now Rae if you weren't so eager for a little taste of...'' Her husband Naruto started but was interrupted by his wife.

''Finish that sentence and I'll force you to eat my pie!'' Raven threatened as Naruto smirked with another witty reply already line dup..

''What flavor cherry or Blackbe...''

''Mommy!'' Raven turned to her and Naruto's little girl. She was about seven, she had Naruto's golden blonde hair and whiskers with Raven's amethyst eyes. She had an extensive chakra reserve and inherited both her parents abilities. The little girl ran into Raven's arms. Ever since this morning the girl was with Starfire. It was supposed to be a get together for all the Titans and those with children brought them along.

Feeling a bit particularly frisky both Naruto and Raven were working on Naruto Jr. when little Kushina, who was named after Naruto's mother or his little 'red pepper' as he called her in remensicent of his mother's old nick name 'Red Habenero' barged in. Apparently she heard Raven's scream and thought her mother mother was in trouble only to find her father on top of her mother doing things that would make any young child scream. What followed were the Titans waking up as a confused and tear stained Kushina was telling Starfire how daddy was hurting mommy.

''Are you okay?''

'Honey of course...'' Raven said in a soothing tone.
''But what about what Daddy was doing to you? You were screaming...why were you naked?'' The girl launched out one quest after another.

Raven took a deep breath and tried to relax.

'' you know I would never hurt your mommy. You know I love both of you right?'' Naruto asked as he sat on the arm of the couch.

''Then why was mommy screaming so loudly?'' She asked in an innocent matter that only a child could.
Both parents wanted to die from embarrassment. They both looked to the nearest exit to see their friends guarding it. At one exit there was Changeling, Cyborg, and Argent. At another was Karen, Duela, Rose, and Terra. It was decided that they would give the little girl the talk and they asked the other titans to make sure they wouldn't chicken out and maybe hopefully would do there job for them.

'' see honey what mommy and daddy were doing was a special sort of...hug?'' It was a question more then a statement. Raven recalled it being referred to in such a way. Why couldn't the Hive try the rob a bank or maybe Slade threathening to blow up a carnival or something. Anything would be better then this.

''Yeah it's something all mothers and fathers do to show they love each other. It's something only married people do of course,'' Naruto added in at the last moment.

''It's how you were conceived actually...''

Little Kushina looked thoughtful for a moment, ''You mean like Auntie Starflame and Uncle Nightwing?'' She asked as everyone turned to see the horrified look on the couples face.

''H-Honey what do you mean?'' Raven managed to ask already know she was going to end up spending a week meditating and taking some of her husband's 'happy pills' when this was all over. Uncle Cybrog and Auntie Sarah took me over to visit them. The door was unlock and so I sprinted in and I saw auntie Starflame bouncing up and down on Uncle Nightwing who was wearing this pink fluffy hand cuff looking things or at least I think. Uncle Cyborg told me they were playing a special game for grown ups and I should forget what I saw and to never ever bring it I in trouble because I did?'' She asked the cybernetic man innocently.

The confusion, disbelief, and anxiety was slowly starting to build up. Of course Naruto being the pervert and ass he was made his little smart remark.

''You know I always figured Kori to be the one on top in the relationship and otherwise.''
A book courtesy of Raven flew across the room and clocked Naruto in the head sending him sprawling down.


''Let me him lay there sweety. That's daddy punishment for being a smart mouth,'' The Sorceress told her annoyed that even in a situation like this Naruto always found something to remark.

''Wow Rob I didn't think you were into that sort of stuff.''

''Well Kori probably had to drag him away from his work station.''

Some of the Titan guys made similar comments and were either smacked on the back of there heads by their significant other or was getting their ears chewed off.

''Honey from now on always knock or let people know you were coming ok? Hopefully others will remember to keep there doors locked,'' She said shooting a glance at Nightwing who was doing a pretty good impression of a Comatose patient. Despite the fact that see and Naruto also forgot to lock their door.

''What about outside?''

'Oh God/Azar no!' Naruto and Raven thought as they realized that once again she had seen something she shouldn't have.

''Because I think I saw Uncle Gar and Auntie Ter were playing a game too in the bushes. Because Auntie Ter sounded happy and Uncle Gar changed into a dog. So were they playing an adult game too? How do I knock and not disturb if there outside?''

Changeling, A.K.A. Garfield Logan was currently passed out from anxiety. Terra though looked like she was on fire from how red she was.

''Terra's a freak...'' Naruto said in a sing song voice as he stood up. ''Putting a new twist to the phrase Doggy Style dear Terra?'

''Hey! Stuff it Uzumaki if anyone here is a pervert its you!'' Terra shouted as there was a slight tremor.
''Both of you settle down. What a couple does for their...recreational purposes is there business. No matter how perverted or twisted is,'' Raven said as without as much emotion as possible as she could despite the slight smirk on her face.

'That's rich coming from you Rae. Especially considering that little visit to the book store a few months ago. 'Spank me baby! Harder! Spank your naught little Raven,' Then afterwords you said you needed to borrow Naruto's credit card for that new black leather outfit that you said caught your eye so don't about what I do is perverse or twisted,''Terra said with a proud smirked as both Uzumakis jaws dropped.

''You told me the room had silencing seals?''

''I thought they did. Damnit this is the last time I trust a Kagebunshin I create late at night hopped up to Ramen and Sake.''

''Dad what's leather? And why would mommy want you to spank her? Was she being bad a girl?'' Kushina asked innocently.

At that moment Naruto was at a conundrum. He wanted to laugh, badly right now. So much in fact that he was on the verge of tears. Not to mention his daughter just gave him the set up for one of the greatest comments he could ever hope for.

''I swear to Azar, Kami, and every other great force out there if you make one remark? One comment. A single hint I will make your life a living hell.''

''Pfft what's the worse you can do Rae?.''

Whatever Raven told Naruto was so shocking he passed out. The others took this as a sign as it wasn't uncommon for the two to communicate telepathically.

''Honey any time two adults are alone and you hear moans, gasping, or stuff like that you avoid it ok? Your too young to know about that sort of stuff at that level. Also if they aren't wearing clothes you stay away as well.''
''Oh ok so if there's more then two adults its ok? Like Auntie Argent and Jinx with that one guy in the pool?'' They were hugging each other real tight and kissing, but they had swim clothes hanging off them.''
''Oh Azar! Are all my friends perverts or something?''

''Even if there's more then two people. If they look like there doing the special hug don't disturb them. The special hug is how children are conceived by matching up the boy parts and girls parts. I've told you about yours remember?''

Because of who her parents were, or to be direct their genes Kushina started puberty a bit early then most, a few days after she turned eight.

'' if I match up my girl parts with a bo...''

''I'll kill the bastard!"' Naruto declared regaining consciousness. ''You know what...Kushina go to your room. Your mother and I will explain the rest in a few minutes.''

''Ok daddy...'' She said as she left the room to the thoroughly embarrassed adults.

''Well...that could have been worst.''

''Shut up Hot Spot,'' Naruto replied as he went straight for his room to his suitcase. He went and pulled out a Sake bottle. Raven sat down next to him and took a bottle from his hand. Both of them downed the bottles in one go and sighed. ''Where did we go wrong Rae?'

''You mean deciding to befriend a team full of perverts?''

''To be fair we have done some risque things as well. Hell until this morning we tried to be cautious unlike our dear friends. We were never out in the open where people, especially children could see us. Well people who lived within a hundred miles of us or have a working television and or phone. I swear...this shouldn't be hard for us. For Heaven's sake, if I could talk down an over protective and angry Superman after catching me in bed with his cousin from killing me, then this should be nothing.''

''And when the hell was that?'' Raven hissed as Naruto shifted about nervously. '' was a few weeks before we officially became a couple.''

''After our first date?''

''Well...during the whole Trigon thing you wanted us to take a break remember?''

''Your ass is mine later. No one but me gets to have this peace of man meat but me got it?'' She said possessively grabbing his crotch. ''I'm going to rock your world so hard you won't even remembered that girl when I'm through.''

''Yes mistress,'' He said knowing the leather outfit and whip would be among tonight's 'activities' and he was quite looking forward to it. ''We should go give Kushina the talk now. Better get it over again before she reveals she saw Aqualad impregnating a whale or something equally mind scaring.''

Naruto and Raven. A shinobi and Sorceress. Both given a demonic heritage by different means thanks to their fathers. They could travel through time and space. Fighting powerful super human beings and demons. They would even team up with other heroes and save other realities. Though giving their daughter the 'Birds and Bees' Talk seemed to be the toughest challenge they ever faced. Well at least they weren't in Starfire's shoes and had to explain to little Windfire, who was promptly named as such after Robin lost a bet to Naruto who refused to call his son, the Hokage's Disciple and Ramen Miester of Worcester Sauce the second, and settle on Windfire and why his daddy was suddenly doing an impression of a carrot.