Chapter 1: Ninjapocalypse now

Ryu,for some reason, had decided to move to Kansas. He figured what the hell, he could make it big out there. Dig up some Crystal Skulls and finally buy that super cool upgrade for the Lunar Staff. Instead he was out there bicycling around with Kratos (of all things) in his hand-basket because some old lady wanted to take poor Kratos to the pound to have him neuteured.

That would not do.

"I am pretty sure things can't get worse then this." said Ryu as he looked at the dark clouds in the white and black landscape. It was then they came to a wagon on the side of the desolate road……there was only one sign next to it "Do not test" read the sign. Ryu recognized it immediately as a mark of the greater fiend. After kicking Kratos off the bike and telling him to go play with that cute lil dog over there. Ryu decided he had to investigate the caravan after using the handy Dragon Shrine located nearby-just in case something bad decided to bite him in there. He also bought a couple grains of Spirit from the nearby Smith Shrine which were quite common in Kansas.

Kratos meanwhile was busy remembering that godawful day when he killed his family in a fit of violent drunke…………uh when Ares made him kill his family. Then also made him kill everything else. "ARES,YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME" Shouted Kratos at the sky.

"WTF IS GOING ON?" shouted a man with a shotgun who came out of the caravan "IS THIS SOME KIND OF OAKIE BS?".

"He is always like that" whispered Ryu "Especially when someone threatens to have chemically sterilized."

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY FAGGOT?" said the guy. "Look Willow, sir, I have shit to do like take this guy here to the pound" said Ryu as he slided the dragon-sword out of its sheath. "Now are you going to keep waving that thing in the air or…..Kratos stop trying to shove it up there;not going to fit." muttered the ultimate Ninja as the Ghost of Sparta found a creative use for the boom-stick.

"They said you were dead." said the Willow as he unloaded his shotgun, wiped off the barrel and pulled his pants up. "I was but then the spirts of my ancestors send me this raving lunatic to save me" said the Ninja.

"ARES I AM GONNA SKULLFUCK YOU AND ZEUS AND EVERYONE ELSE." yelled good ole Kratos. "I know just the cure for that kind of idiot…." said the caravan guy.

"I kind of need him like this" said Ryu slowly putting his sword back into place and opening a beer at the same time with a shuriken. "How the fuck?" said da Willowz/

"Long story……."