Last year's April Fool's Day debacle was just shameful. Kiba was made a fool of by his elder sister, Hana, and hadn't been able to live it down ever since then. Of course, no one really talked about it, but Kiba knew they all remembered it. Especially Shino. He knew Shino remembered it.
"Shino, do you remember last year on April Fool's Day?" Kiba asked a few days before the fateful day.
Shino looked at Kiba skeptically. Merely looking at him didn't appear to have the same effect as asking him the question he was attempting to convey. So, much to Shino's dismay, he actually had to speak to Kiba. "April Fool's Day?" he questioned with limited or no enthusiasm whatsoever.
As far as Shino was concerned, April Fool's Day was one of the most annoying and tedious of all the holidays. No good came from a holiday which encouraged good feelings and tomfoolery.
"Yes, April Fool's Day," Kiba said, appearing ever-so distraught at just the thought. "Do you remember the trick Hana played on me?"
"Um…sure," said Shino.
"I knew it!" Kiba exclaimed. "You'll never let me forget it, will you?"
"Um…no," said Shino.
"It's not MY fault I find Jell-O so remarkably delicious and can't pass up an opportunity to play mini-golf!" Kiba said defensively.
"Uh-huh," said Shino.
"Well, I'll have you know that I've thought up the most superior prank to play on her this year," Kiba said, rubbing his hands together diabolically. "And I need your help to pull it off! Will you help me, buddy?"
"Oh?" said Shino, still with limited enthusiasm. "Are you sure that's a good idea, Kiba?"
"Of course it's a good idea!" Kiba said. "Why wouldn't it be?"
"Well, we're Chuunins now. Don't you think we should act more responsibly?" (And by 'we', Shino of course meant 'you'.)
Kiba nearly convulsed over the thought. "Yes!" he sighed. "Naturally! But it's April Fool's Day, Shino! Don't you think that, as my best friend, you should do this one thing for me?"
"This one thing…" Shino repeated, rolling his eyes, but of course no one could see it because 98% of his face is covered. "Can't you get Akamaru to do this for you?"
"This is one prank Akamaru can't help me with," said Kiba. "At least hear me out," he added desperately.
"Fine," said Shino reluctantly.
"All right, this is the plan to get Hana back for the prank she played on me last year. You're going to go up to her and you are going to ask her out on a date. And then, when she says yes, then you tell her when you're going to meet her, and then you show up to pick her up, but when you show up, you tell her that you changed your mind you actually don't think the two of you would make a good couple!"
Kiba announced this plan in pretty much all one breath and when he was finished, he looked like he was going to pass out from all the excitement.
Shino only continued staring at Kiba and chose to answer in the easiest way possible. "No."
"Come on Shino!" Kiba whined. "This is the best prank ever!"
"No, it's really not," Shino said. "It sounds like a lot of work on my part."
"It will be amazing, I promise!" Kiba said as he literally got down on his knees and begged. "I really need to redeem myself! I thought we were best friends ever! I never get mad at you when you offer to play hide-and-seek and then don't actually go to look for me!"
"It's your fault for always agreeing to play hide-and-seek when you clearly anticipate the outcome," said Shino.
"But I always hope that you'll actually come and find me this time," said Kiba, sniffling. He made his eyes get as big as he could possibly get them, assuming the expression that showed he was going to firmly hold his ground until Shino gave in.
Recognizing this, Shino sighed. "Kiba, I will agree to this under extreme protest," he said.
"Really?" Kiba exclaimed, jumping to his feet. He looked as though he would dive onto Shino for a hug, but Shino was ready for it and ninjaed out of the way just in time.
So Kiba and Shino sneaked back to Kiba's house. Kiba hid behind a tree (no, not Shino) as Shino walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. After a few seconds, Hana appeared in the doorway. Kiba barely refrained from giggling maniacally from behind the tree as he watched Shino and Hana have a short exchange that seemed all around pleasant, and then Hana said goodbye to him and closed the door.
He waited quite impatiently as Shino strolled nonchalantly back to where he was hiding.
"Well?" Kiba asked eagerly.
"She said all right," said Shino with a shrug. "I'm going to come by here at eight."
"YES!" Kiba cheered. "This is going to be awesome. She is going to be so embarrassed."
"Whatever," said Shino, walking away.
That night, Kiba was sitting in the living room, feeling way too proud of himself as Hana got ready for her date with Shino in the next room. He was diabolical and excited, counting down the seconds until eight o'clock when Shino would appear in the doorway and reveal that he DIDN'T THINK THEY MADE A GOOD COUPLE. It would be so epic.
Needless to say, when the doorbell rang, Kiba nearly jumped up out of his seat and ran to the other room to hide in the hallway to see it all go down.
"Oh, hi Shino!" said Hana as she opened the door.
"Hello," said Shino.
"Are you ready to go?" Hana asked.
Kiba was nearly collapsing as he tried to keep his laughing quiet, anticipating the very moment when Shino would drop the bombshell.
"Yes. Let's go."
Kiba froze as he heard the front door close. Then he stayed frozen for a few more seconds, hoping he had heard everything incorrectly. Finally, he ran to the front door and checked out the window to see Hana and Shino walking away from the house. TOGETHER.
All night, Kiba was rather anxious. Had his instructions been unclear? Wasn't Shino aware that he was supposed to turn Hana away BEFORE they went on their date? Where were they going and when would they be back?
He may have unwittingly set up his best friend and his sister.
This mere thought almost made him die. Literally.
The next day, Kiba stomped his way to Shino's house. He encountered his EX-BFF as he was walking away from the house.
"SHINO!" Kiba yelled.
Shino turned around. "Oh, hello Kiba," said Shino.
"What happened?" Kiba demanded.
"What do you mean?" Shino asked curiously.
"You were supposed to tell Hana that you didn't think the two of you made a good couple and then reject her on our front door step!" Kiba reminded him. "Did you forget that part?"
"Oh. Well, no," said Shino.
"Then why didn't you do it?" Kiba questioned, tapping his foot. "Why did you go off and actually have a date with her?"
Kiba stared at Shino who was still standing there as stoic as ever.
"Oh, I see," said Kiba. "You told her halfway through the date, didn't you? That's a good idea, Shino!"
Still, Shino was still standing there looking totally stoic.
"Towards…the end of the date?" Kiba tried urgently.
"No, Kiba," said Shino. "As it turns out, your sister and I are extremely compatible. I took her out to dinner, then we saw a movie, then we went mini-golfing."
"Mini-golfing?" Kiba gasped, partially out of distain that they would go mini-golfing without him.
"Yes, and then I took her back to my house and…well, I am a gentleman, so I don't kiss and tell."
At that exact moment, Kiba was fairly sure he was made of glass because he just shattered.
"You…what?" Kiba tried to clarify, because he must have heard it wrong.
"Do I have to spell it out for you?" Shino asked.
"You had…physical relations…with my SISTER?" Kiba demanded irrationally.
"Yeah, pretty much," said Shino.
"WHAT?" Kiba yelled. "You were supposed to dump her before the date even started! I didn't tell you to take her back to your house and have a sleepover! That was not part of the agreement, that was not part of the plan! How could you, Shino? Have you no shame?"
"Oh, and I also…" Shino started as he pulled a small piece of paper out of his pocket and glanced over it. "Oh, and we're getting married too."
"MARRIED?" Kiba shouted as he shook his fists at the sky.
"And I'm asking Naruto to be my best man," said Shino.
"THAT WAS MY NEXT QUESTION!" Kiba yelled.
But his rage didn't have to go much further because he heard some hysterical laughter coming from behind a mailbox. At first, he was angry with whoever would dare to laugh at his pain, but then he realized that the laughter was very familiar. In fact, he was fairly certain he had not only heard this particular laugh before, but he could place it exactly one year ago.
"Kiba, I got you again!" Hana exclaimed as she revealed herself from behind the mailbox.
"Hana, you're marrying Shino?" Kiba demanded, not fully understanding what was going on.
"No, it was an April Fool's joke!" Hana laughed.
Kiba was still confused. "Sleeping with and marrying Shino is a joke?" Kiba questioned.
"No, telling you those things is the joke," said Shino, looking annoyed. (Or as annoyed as SHINO can look.)
"Wait…" Kiba stuttered. "So…you're not getting married?"
"No," said Shino.
"And you didn't sleep with my sister?"
"No," said Shino.
"But…that means…you conspired with my sister to play a mean trick on me!"
"No," said Shino. But then he paused. "Wait, yes. I did do that."
"Shino, you're supposed to be my friend!" Kiba wailed pathetically.
"Nice try, Kiba!" said Hana. "Try harder next year."
"Well, next year I definitely won't ask Shino for help!" said Kiba. "In fact, as of today, Shino, I'm giving you the silent treatment!"
Shino turned from Kiba and began walking away with a bit of a skip in his step. Things couldn't have worked out better for him. As it turned out, April Fool's Day was perhaps not that bad of a holiday after all.
So yeah. I kind of promised people that if '12 Things on Naruto' got 100 reviews then I would write another Naruto-related oneshot. And that happened. So here's the oneshot.(Considering I haven't read or watched Naruto in several years, I don't really know anything about what's been going on in it, so I apologize if Kiba, Shino or Hana are dead and the continuity is all screwed up.) So I hope you all enjoyed! It's not groundbreaking and doesn't really have very many good oneliners, but it's about Kiba and Shino, which you may have all known were my two favorites when I still paid attention to the series. Maybe I'll write more oneshots if more inspiration strikes. Love all ya'll.